Chapter 12 #3
I’m pressed against his chest, my hands clutching the material of his sweatshirt as I nod.
“Of course you are. You’re fucking perfect,” he growls, his fingers fisting my hair as he drops his head to devour my lips.
My whine is embarrassing, but he doesn’t seem to care as his other hand grabs my ass to hoist me into his arms.
“Mine,” he whispers against my lips. “Belong to yourself, be independent as fuck, but be mine too.”
“Yes,” I rasp, blinking rapidly. This is all coming so fast, but I can feel the big emotions he’s having. They mirror mine, and all I can do is go with the flow with him.
There’s nothing that I can find that will hurt me when I look through the bond, and it doesn’t allow either of us to lie to each other.
“Good,” he grunts, adjusting me so that I’m clinging to him as he wraps his arms around my body. “Enjoy the ride, Little Queen. It’s a long walk to the end of the driveway.”
“You just don’t want to put me down,” I laugh.
“Maybe,” he grins, his long strides eating up the distance to the gate.
The delivery van is already long gone, and I slide down Tyde’s body as he opens the gate with his key fob. Stepping through, he glances both ways before lifting the box that clearly states that it’s my alternator.
I suppose that Lars and Caleb’s suspicious nature is contagious.
Joining me again, he closes the gate behind me that’s barely open. He had to squeeze through.
Amusement fills me as he stares at it before turning to face me.
“I may be a doctor on the right side of the law, Nova, but I’m still cautious,” he says. “The security system here is carefully crafted and managed by a professional team, which is needed with my late hours. Your staying here just makes me even more cautious.”
“I have a problem with gates and fences,” I admit with a small grimace, needing to move.
Tyde takes a step forward, feeling my anxiety.
“You can tell me or not,” he says gently. “Don’t feel pressured either way.”
Nodding, I think about what I want to say.
“The people I thought were my parents were very strict,” I say.
“Everything needed to be a certain way, and it’s rare that I was able to just be a kid.
Broken bones were a normal occurrence, but not because I fell out of a tree or fell off a bike.
My house had guards and a huge fence with barbed wire at the top.
There was no escape. As long as I know I can get in and out as an adult, it’s enough to keep that clawing anxiety away. ”
“Take this,” he rasps, pushing the key fob into my hand. “If you wanted to leave at two in the morning, I wouldn’t stand in your way. The roads are going to be fucked so I’d prefer if you didn’t, but you deserve the choice to stay or go.”
“Thank you,” I sigh. “I know on some level that you wouldn’t hold me hostage. It’s a trauma response though. A lot of my clients have gates and fences as well, and it’s always a struggle to get through that first appointment.”
“Which makes it difficult,” he says. “There are so many questions I want to ask because I don’t want to do something to trigger you.”
“My big things are certain nicknames, the ability to get in and out of places easily, and feeling safe,” I say. “I don’t mind being thrown around during sex or roughness. I make a million decisions for both myself and others, it’s nice to not have to deal with it.”
“Okay,” he murmurs. “How do you feel about being restrained?”
I think back to all the times I’ve been restrained and Tyde flinches.
“Jesus Christ,” he whispers. “Let’s not do that. I don’t need it if it’s going to make you think of that.”
“But you have restrained women before?” I ask.
“Not against their will,” he grunts. “It’s part of submission, letting go of the constant need to make decisions. There’s trust on both sides of it, safe words, and the submissive is in charge the entire time.”
Thinking about it, I wonder what it would be like to be completely aware and restrained. My heat is a bit different since I’m semi out of my mind with pain and need. It’s why so many omegas are taken advantage of during it.
If those alphas had been able to break into my van, I would have caved under the pain and had sex with them. It would still be considered rape in my eyes, despite begging them for knots in the haze of my heat.
Looking back, I can see why Caleb and Lars didn’t have sex with me. We aren’t in a good place. While I wouldn’t have regretted it because I am attracted to them, I don’t think we’d be any closer for it.
“I think I’d like to try one day,” I mumble, leaning against Tyde’s side as we walk. We’re almost back to the garage, and I don’t see Caleb at all. I guess he went back inside after griping at me. “I’m a big believer in rewriting your own story when necessary.”
“I’m glad, baby,” Tyde says. “You’re my future, and part of my job is making sure it is the best one possible. Can I hang out with you while you change out this alternator?”
“As long as you’re okay with loud rock music,” I chuckle.
“Deal me in,” he teases with a grin, putting the box on a table and pulling up a chair.
Tyde is the perfect gentleman as I rage out to Angelic Demons for the next two hours, my hair up in a messy bun as I pull off my sweatshirt and get to work. I get hot when I’m under the hood, and I don’t really need brute strength tonight since I don’t need to raise the van.
This is what I want from my alphas. Strong arming assholes need not apply.