Chapter 10
I look over to see Garry Gee isn’t the only one to be greatly disappointed by this alarming newsflash.
As I walk grudgingly towards them, I observe Jackson greeting Garry with a friendly corporate smile.
It doesn’t reach his eyes, even though his body language is relaxed and open.
He is showing no signs of having been up all night partying hard, drinking cocktails, dancing and frolicking.
He is putting on a professional front, as must I.
I take a deep inhale. It’s Big Girl Pants time. My breathing quickens as Jackson prowls around the group, pacing up and down like a hunter evaluating its prey.
‘Okay, Garry,’ says Jackson, indicating that he should come and stand at the front with him. ‘I’ll need you to—’
‘It’s Gee Man.’ Garry puffs out his chest like a pigeon and begins to look around at his team for confirmation. He flicks his ponytail so that it lies on his shoulder like a limp brown snake that’s had the life wrung out of it by a gang of feral youths with nothing better to do.
Jackson looks at him firmly. ‘I’m not calling you that.’
‘Okay, Gee Dawg it is. WORD!’ Garry hi-fives Shaun with a loud slap. Tiffany and Astrid giggle as though he’s said something witty. It’s baffling.
‘Or that.’ Jackson tuts loudly.
‘Big Gee?’
Jackson shakes his head. ‘Can we just get on with this, please? Stop messing about,’ he says sharply. ‘Either take this job seriously or feel free to go and work elsewhere.’
There’s a stunned silence from the group.
Garry’s eyes bulge as though he’s just been told he has Lyme disease and doesn’t quite know what it is.
When he recovers himself, I see him ball his fists by his sides, his mouth forming a tight angry line.
He takes an enormous breath in and exhales loudly, emitting a cloud of stale garlicky breath.
Repulsive.
He smooths back his thinning hair over his egg-shaped head. ‘Garry will do fine.’
Jackson continues as though he hasn’t just threatened Garry with the sack.
‘You’ll set sail tonight. I need everyone on board by five o’clock at the latest. Here’s an itinerary.
The guestlist. The food allergens. The additional requirements.
The guest cabin allocations. The menus. The cleaning rota. ’
Tiffany lets out an enormous moan which causes Jackson to stop handing out numerous sheets of paper. The atmosphere grows even more tense.
‘Sorry.’ Tiffany tucks her dark hair behind an ear. ‘I find anything to do with cleaning very upsetting. It’s just not in my nature to do that sort of thing.’
When this elicits a deliberately slow shake of the head from Jackson and a hard glare, she hangs her head solemnly before he continues.
‘There’s a list of daily activities indicating which of you will be doing what. The evening entertainment schedule. The sailing course and stopovers, obviously. A map of the route. And finally, the price list for equipment hire and additional activities not included in the trip costs.’
This causes Shaun to snigger. ‘Aye, aye, cap’n. Additional activities. Roger that.’ He salutes before makes a thrusting motion at Garry, who winks and salutes back.
‘Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.’ Garry Gee flicks his ponytail back over his shoulder, wagging his eyebrows at the group. ‘It’s not my fault I have large-penis syndrome. It’s why my whole purpose in life is to bring satisfaction to random strangers on holiday.’
I cannot ever imagine being desperate enough to find this man even remotely attractive. He is revolting in every way imaginable.
Again, Jackson seems appalled. And quite rightly in my opinion. And nor should Garry and Shaun be insinuating that one of the extracurricular activities on offer might be sexual. They’re not horny teens.
Jackson shakes his head disappointedly before continuing.
‘And I don’t need to tell you this because you’re all experienced, if somewhat incredibly immature, reps, but we need you to push the premium-style food and drinks packages, as that’s where most of the revenue will come from.
’ He pauses to take a breath. ‘And put all receipts through Maddie. She’ll be part of the team, but she’ll have extra duties to make sure the accounts are spot on. ’ Jackson barely gives me a look.
‘I think you may have made a mistake there,’ says Garry. ‘I’m the supervising officer. I take the receipts and handle the cash, traveller’s cheques and card payments. They’ll all come through me as usual.’
Jackson gives him a cold smile. ‘Well, you’ll be pleased to know that Maddie here is almost a trained accountant.
It’ll leave you more time to spend with the customers.
They are very wealthy and considered Turkish royalty, so we expect nothing but your best. After all, didn’t you just say your whole purpose here is to bring satisfaction to random strangers on holiday? ’
‘I’ve been with this company almost fifteen years,’ says Garry defensively. ‘I’m an accomplished supervisor. We don’t need this troublemaker’ – he points his finger at me – ‘to join the team. We can manage without her.’
Oh my word. No one wants me. How mortifying.
‘I’m sure you think you can manage, but she’ll need to go with your team. If only to learn the ropes. Get a feel for how the customer-facing side of the business works before she’ – Jackson flicks an almost invisible glance towards me – ‘joins head office.’
There’s an audible groan from the group at this.
‘It’s only for a week,’ Jackson soothes. ‘An extra pair of hands will come in handy.’ I feel as though I’ve hit a new low. Both professionally and as a human. Looking around at the indifferent and hostile faces, I seem to be about as welcome as a reoccurring fungal toe infection.
‘Why don’t I go with the Bodrum North team?’ I say, pointing to the smart set of reps obediently hanging off Erika’s every word. ‘They seem a better fit for me.’
Again, this does not endear me to the group as Tiffany huffs that I think I’m better than them.
It’s all going very wrong. In a panic, I pull Jackson gently to one side and lean towards him, my voice barely audible.
‘Look. Running around after a bunch of holidaymakers is hardly a job you’d give someone who almost got a first in Advanced Maths and Applied Accountancy, is it? ’
Jackson looks perplexed. ‘Almost a first?’
I stand a little straighter. ‘Yes. Only one point off summa cum laude.’
This piece of news seems to delight Garry, who has taken a step towards us to openly eavesdrop. ‘Normal people would call that a 2:1, love. A bang average sort of grade.’ He nods at the group for agreement.
‘Would they?’ I retort, embarrassed in front of Jackson yet again. ‘And what’s your degree in, Garry? Did you get a first?’
Garry’s cheeks colour. ‘I went to the university of life, didn’t I? There’s not much I don’t know about stuff.’
‘How very reassuring. A BA Honours in Stuff.’ Yes, I’m being petty. ‘Phew, at least our melting ice caps and ever-expanding hole in the ozone layer will be in safe hands. And what were you thinking we could do about the global economic recession and the conflict in the Middle East?’
Garry glares pointedly at me. I can see he has no idea what to say.
He is currently a man for whom a witty retort is disappointingly out of reach.
He makes a few attempts to start a sentence as I fold my arms facetiously in wait.
I can’t explain it but there’s just something about him that I immensely dislike.
Some bad energy. Some inexplicable untrustworthy vibe.
‘If you two could stop bickering for a moment, I’d like to get on with the briefing.
’ Jackson slaps a pile of papers down onto the table with a loud thwack.
Everything seems to go downhill from there as Jackson barks out orders and instructions as though we are all imbeciles.
‘You,’ he says, pointing at Astrid. ‘This will be…’ He checks his clipboard.
‘This will be Bodrum South’s fourth assignment to a gulet.
What’s the first rule in the boat safety handbook? ’
Astrid does not respond well to being put under such pressure. A small gurgling sound escapes her lips before she bursts into tears. Jackson runs his hand over his forehead. ‘Jeez. Anyone else?’
‘Something to do with safety equipment? Float plans? Emergency protocol?’ pipes up Tiffany proudly, to Shaun’s obvious amazement. She reaches for his hand. ‘I was virtually raised on sailing holidays off the Caribbean. Well, luxury cruise ships mostly but it’s similar.’
Jackson looks relieved that at least one of the team might have an inkling of what to do in an emergency.
We are then subjected to what could arguably be described as the most intensive and horrifying whistlestop tour of drills, in case there is a man overboard situation and whether that man is the captain or a passenger, lifejackets, fire extinguishers, flares and other boat safety equipment.
What to do if the bilge pumps or steering system fails.
He’s asking who will be in charge of medical kits and the satellite radio in case we get thrown off course or someone on board develops a contagious or deadly disease.
By the time he has finished it is very clear that no one wants to go on this trip.
Rather like my old algebra teacher, Jackson has sucked the joy from it entirely.
I’m finding it hard to believe that less than twenty-four hours ago this man was wearing a traditional red fez headdress, smoking a bong and talking about how hard butterflies have it.
Now he’s talking as though he’s the head of some special elite force.
‘Any questions?’ he asks. They all raise their hands except me. ‘You,’ he says, pointing at Tiffany.
‘Can I go to the toilet?’ she asks.
He makes a frustrated hand gesture as though she was free to leave any time she needed to. ‘Next question?’
‘What time is the food coming? Because I’m starving,’ Shaun says, proceeding to debate what constitutes the perfect corporate buffet.
‘Is it finger foods?’ asks Garry Gee. ‘Because I need a kebab. My stomach is eating itself.’
‘There’d better be salad for me. I’m dieting,’ says Astrid to Shaun, posing for him. ‘A body like this doesn’t happen by accident.’
Shaun checks that Tiffany is not on her way back from the toilets before saying flirtatiously, ‘You look perfect to me, darlin’. Proper knockout.’
Astrid giggles at the compliment and reaches out to stroke his arm but not before a returning Tiffany catches sight of the gesture. While she picks up her pace from the other side of the hall, Shaun steps quickly away from Astrid, who gives him a tight-lipped frown.
Jackson clears his throat noisily, disappointment etched on his face. ‘Any questions about the boat safety procedures or on-board protocols?’ He is met with blank looks.
‘What are the staff sleeping arrangements?’ I enquire briskly.
‘You also mentioned a number of variables to do with risk assessments, passenger safety and adverse weather conditions. Could you clarify those, please?’ I’m not stepping foot on board that floating piece of artisanal wood unless I know it is safe.
My mother would have a heart attack if she knew I was being cast out to sea without any proper training.
I try to ignore the monumental groan from the team as Jackson politely runs through each concern in order.
He’s very efficient and highly intelligent, I’ll give him that.
Each time I open my mouth, he supplies the correct answers without my needing to ask.
He’s impressively thorough which does not go down at all well with Garry Gee who is giving me daggers every opportunity he gets.
He looks as though he is masking a boiling rage while Erika, at the opposite end of the hall with her elite team of Bodrum North, looks as though she is trying not to smirk.
Shaun is also rolling his eyes at me, whereas the girls stand rigid, their jaded faces unmoving as though Jackson is reading out cricket scores.
They have gone into a bored, trancelike state.
It’s a relief when Jackson signals for a lunch break.
Several Turkish waiters roll trolleys into the hall, laden with mezze and platters of sizzling meatballs, flatbreads and salads.
The aromas blooming into the air perk everyone up, and as they charge towards the buffet table, I hear Jackson call my name.
‘Maddie, can you wait for a moment, please?’ he asks formally. ‘I’d like a quick word, if I may?’