Chapter 20 #2
‘Well, that’s one hell of a way to end a date,’ I say as the guests’ footsteps grow ever closer. ‘What’ll I need to rescue you from next? How about you cover yourself in offal and throw yourself to the sharks?’
‘I like to leave a girl with a lasting impression.’ He leans in to give me a quick peck on the lips. ‘I’ll try to return the favour,’ he says, his dark eyes meeting mine. ‘I’ll meet you in two days at Selimiye Bay like we planned. Okay? And not a word to the others.’
I nod excitedly. ‘I’ll stay under the radar.’
* * *
I wake the next morning fresh as a daisy because I had the best sleep of the trip so far.
I didn’t even hear the girls come in. One glance over to their beds and I realise why: they are unslept in.
Taking advantage of the peace and quiet, I slip into the shower, lather on creamy foam, and revel in the sweet memories of last night and Jackson and his hot mouth on mine and the fact that things would definitely have gone further if we hadn’t been interrupted by…
‘Watch out!’ bellows Astrid, charging past me to hurl chunks into the toilet basin.
This again?
She twists her hunched half-naked body to peer at me in the shower.
‘Sorry. I couldn’t… wait’ – she resumes her horror-movie level of purging – ‘for…’ She clutches the sides of the bowl, her head almost disappearing inside.
‘You… blaaaargh… to finish.’ I wilt, watching her liberally unroll reams and reams of toilet paper to mop at her face before slinging it casually down the loo.
‘That’s okay.’ I step out of the shower and quickly wrap a towel around me. ‘Are you ill? You’ve been sick a lot lately.’ I hope it’s nothing catching.
‘Seasick again?’ says Tiffany, swinging the door open. She puts her hands on her hips and looks ready to give Astrid a lecture. ‘Did you remember to take the seasick tablets I got you?’
Astrid unfolds herself with great effort, huffing and puffing, and stands up, gripping onto the sink.
She looks deathly pale and gaunt. Her eyes are hollow with dark shadows underneath.
A far cry from the enthusiastic cock-muncher she appeared to be last night.
I notice Tiffany sweep her gaze the length of Astrid’s body, doing a double take as she lasers in on Astrid’s swollen stomach area.
Astrid grabs a towel to cover up. ‘I need a shower. Move, please.’
I quickly shuffle to the side. The bathroom is not designed for three people, but Tiffany is standing rigid, and her jaw has dropped open.
I squeeze past her. I’ll just let the two of them get on with it.
I can’t face any more drama and I’m only on this boat until tomorrow evening.
Plus, I’m pretty sure Jackson will be sacking the whole team soon anyway.
TRIIIIIIIIING. TRIIIIIIIIING. TRIIIIIIIIING. An ear-splitting alarm bell alerts us to the fact that we are setting sail. And that we as the holiday reps should be on deck performing our duties as per the agreed roster.
I throw on some clothes and hurl myself up the stairs just in time to see the captain pick up my block of wood with the nail sticking out.
It seems like he’s asking one of the chefs what it is in Turkish.
‘It’s the Mallet Method,’ I explain, walking towards him.
‘It’s a new system I’ve introduced to make sure that the guests are charged the correct amount for food, drinks and equipment hire.
’ I take the wooden block from him and flick my fingers up and down the receipts.
‘This way, all of the receipts are in chronological order and therefore much easier to process. It’s a simple but effective form of rudimentary bookkeeping. ’
He nods, looking impressed.
‘We don’t need it,’ barks Garry, stomping towards us.
He yanks it out of my hands. ‘I’ll take that, thank you very much.
You have cleaning duty and…’ He swivels his eyes about the deck, conjuring up another job for me to do that presumably keeps me out of his hair.
His lank, greasy, rat-tailed hair. ‘…and then after that you’ll do a kayak safari over to the island. ’
It’s all very abrupt. Garry seems agitated and keen to get rid of me. ‘What island? And what about the roster? I’m down for cleaning and then babysitting Emir. He wants to play chess today.’
Garry shakes his head. ‘It’s like you’ve forgotten your training,’ he says pompously.
‘We are here to do whatever it takes to make sure all of the guests have the best time ever. That’s what makes me happy so that’s what makes you happy.
’ He prods his finger dangerously close to my chest as though he’s the star in his own mafia film. ‘Got it?’
He turns to talk to Shaun, Tiffany and Astrid who have just arrived in a cloud of frostiness. Garry shakes his head in a disappointed fashion. ‘Which one of you wants to go with clever clogs here on the kayak safari excursion today?’
‘Well, I can’t because I’m doing an afternoon tavla session in the dining room. Turkish people are so obsessed with backgammon,’ says Tiffany in a bored tone.
‘And I can’t because I’m taking the fishing group out. It’ll be a six-hour round trip,’ says Shaun.
‘Why can’t you go with Maddie on the kayak safari? Exploring sounds like the sort of thing you’d enjoy,’ Astrid asks Garry. Although the dark circles under her eyes remain, she has a little more colour to her cheeks as she forces a bright smile.
‘Fuck no,’ he snaps. ‘Why would I want to get lost in the forest on some uninhabited island only to be found weeks later eaten alive by wild… what do they have on those islands?’ He looks around at blank stares.
It’s as though none of them have bothered to do a bare modicum of research into Turkey’s natural habitat.
‘Rabbits… The odd squirrel at a push?’ I say. He really is incredibly self-centred. ‘Nothing that’ll rip your lungs out, Garry.’
His cheeks colour as the other three immediately snort with laughter. ‘Okay, clever clogs. If you know so much about flora and fauna, you take the lead, and Astrid can accompany you. I’m sure the brat will enjoy it.’
I’m immediately incensed. He literally makes my blood boil. ‘One, he’s not a brat, and two’ – I mimic his ridiculous voice – ‘what happened to “for me it’s all about doing whatever it takes to make sure all the guests have the best time ever. That’s what makes me happy.”’
This does not go down well.
‘Okay,’ Garry shouts, clapping his hands together.
‘That’s sorted then. Astrid and clever clogs, kayaking.
Shaun, fishing.’ Garry raises his eyebrow as though to warn Shaun to keep his libido in check.
‘Tiff, you’ll also need to supervise lunch here.
And don’t forget to get the kitchen to do all the packed lunches for the two excursions. ’
But before I can ask what the heck Garry will be doing, other than skiving, a herd of guests begins stampeding up the stairs and flying past the magnificent finger-food breakfast buffet, ignoring the tables laden with bitesize vine rolls, stuffed aubergines, mini feta cheese pastries, tacos of finely diced salad and minced lamb pittas, platters of grilled savoury tarts, toasted breads with hummus and baba ghanoush.
They charge straight to the seating area to be waited on hand and foot.
Garry flings an apron at me with an evil grin on his face. ‘Off you go, Clogsy. Chop chop.’