Chapter Forty-Two
ELLIE
Present Day
We’ve all been so excited about our reunion, taking turns sharing stories, catching Lee up to speed on parenthood, laughing and crying with emotions running all over the place. Until we heard a knock on the door. Dylan got up to answer it and he was taking a while to come back so I wandered over to see who it was.
I saw Carrie and Dylan talking then he turned to me and whispered, “Is it okay to tell her?”
“Of course it is! Come on in, we’ll explain.”
The three of us walked back into the living room and her eyes widened with surprise when she spotted Lee on the couch.
“Stop it! Are you for real?”
She screams excitedly.
Lee gets up, “You must be Carrie.”
He reaches his hand out to shake hers but instead, he’s pulled into a hug. Carrie’s a hugger. He accepts it and hugs her back.
“I can’t believe this is real life, returning from the dead and all…”
“Now, about that.”
I cut her off before she can go on, “You can’t tell anyone that Dylan’s dad came back from the dead. In fact, we can’t go around telling everyone that Dylan’s dad is even here, okay?”
She nods and I don’t know if she has even heard a single thing I just said because she’s smiling and staring at Lee like she’s been starstruck.
“Carrie.”
Dylan snaps his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.
“Oh. Geez.”
She snaps out of it, rubbing her hand across her mouth, “I was just thinking about how we tell Mom about this. Or … do we not tell Mom about this?”
We all look at each other, but Lee is still in the dark and he looks confused.
“Is there a reason that Carrie’s mom has to know about me?” he asks.
I let a hum escape and tap my hand against my leg, considering how to bring this one up. Dylan sucks in a breath loudly and Carrie looks between us.
“What? You haven’t told him that part yet? Shoot, sorry!”
“Okay guys, what are you all keeping from me?”
Lee asks, sitting back down next to me on the couch. He leans forward, hands clasped between his knees in a very business-like manner.
“Ellie. I think we owe it to ourselves to be completely honest here. We’ve been given this second chance, and I don’t want anything hidden between us.”
I nod and he continues, “I don’t care about anything that happened in the last eighteen years, even if it involves you and another man. I can take it, but I need to know.”
Carrie holds back a laugh and I glare at her with my best mom look.
“It’s not another man.”
I tell him.
“It’s … a bit complicated, so I’ll just jump right into it.”
I can see him tense, and his head drops so he’s no longer looking at me, like he’s bracing himself. This news is probably going to hit him exactly how I think it will.
“Carrie’s mom is Maggie Lancaster.”
I don’t say anything else, letting that sink in. He just looks at me blankly and I ask, “You remember Maggie, right?”
“Oh, I remember Maggie alright.”
He looks over at Carrie and presses his lips into a thin line.
“I don’t know how I missed it. You look like her.”
His tone is cold, emotionless. I interject before he can say anything else that might come off mean.
“Maybe we should have her over for dinner. We need to clear the air.”
His head snaps back toward me and he’s looking at me like I just slapped him. He thinks I’m crazy for suggested such a ridiculous thing.
“Lee, Maggie and I … we know about each other, and we’ve moved on. We put aside our past and we are actually … friends now … because of the kids. I think, maybe this would be a good opportunity to continue that honesty, so I don’t feel like I’m hiding anything from you.”
He slaps his forehead with his hand, considering this information. “Okay.”
He says, jaw clenched tight. He doesn’t like it, but he’s agreeing to it. Then he sits up and looks at his watch.
“Dinner? Shit, it’s 9:45. I guess I’m not making my 10’oclock flight.”
“Your flight?”
I ask, my heart skipping a beat.
“You’re leaving?”
“Not a chance!”
He looks from me to Dylan, “I’m not leaving you two ever again, I just got you back.”
We all sit there, looking at each other, not sure where this leads our conversation. Lee wipes his jaw with a hand, “I will have to go back, though. I’ll have to figure out work and all. I’ll call the airline and change my flight, but … maybe you can come with me? We can call it our first family vacation.”
I smiled, excited at that idea and the fact that he even mentioned it.
“It is summer break, and we didn’t get to go on our beach trip.”
I considered a moment longer, then turned to Dylan, “I could close the shop for another week. What do you think, Dylan?”
Dylan doesn’t hesitate, “Hell yeah!”
he says, laughing.
“Where is work?”
Carrie asks because no one has bothered bringing that up. We had no idea where Lee had been all this time, and I didn’t even think about asking.
“Florida, near Pensacola.”
He says, “I don’t know how it will work but we’ll figure something out and I’ll be damned if they try to keep me away from you both for three more years. I’m sure I can get transferred here to finish out my contract.”
Then he stops and looks at me before continuing his thought.
“I mean, that is if you want me to be here with you? We haven’t really discussed that yet. You and Dylan, you’ve had each other for so long, and I don’t want to…”
Dylan cuts him off, “Are you kidding? Dad, I can’t think of anything I want more. You belong here. I need you here. And Mom needs you here.”
“God, I don’t think I’ll ever get over you calling me that.”
Lee says smiling.
Dylan sits on the couch next to him and says, “I’ve called you Dad every day of my life. You’ve always been my dad, even when you didn’t know it.”
Lee brings him in for a hug and squeezes his shoulders tight before letting him go, a tear running down his face. Carrie brings him a tissue and claps her hands together.
“This is just like a fairytale ending!”
I inhale and wipe my own tears away, then straighten up and get back to the topic we started a minute ago. Stop getting side-tracked, Ellie! “So … about dinner.”
This brings us all back into serious mode.
“Carrie, call your mom and ask her if she could please join us for dinner tonight, but don’t tell her the reason over the phone.”
“Actually, I’m supposed to be having dinner with my dad tonight. He’s picking me up at 6’oclock.”
She explains, looking upset, like she’s ruining the plans we were trying to make.
“Well perfect! I haven’t met your dad yet. Why don’t you see if he can join us too.”
I tell her.
“Really?”
“Yeah, we’ll set up on the patio and have a nice family dinner with lots to talk about.”
“Okay then!”
Carrie grabs her phone and calls both of her parents. They agreed and will meet at our house at 6’oclock. Maggie can’t stay long because she has some meetings to plan but we told her it was important, and she said she would come.
I’m nervous to see the interaction between them. I know Lee confronted her about the lie all those years ago, but I have no idea how they left it. I’m assuming they did not leave on good terms by his initial reaction to her name earlier, so this ought to be interesting.
While Carrie was on the phone with her parents, Lee called his boss and explained that he would need some extra time off before returning to the office. Then he called the airline and changed out his single ticket for three tickets to Pensacola, leaving out on Wednesday next week.
“That gives us a few days to reacquaint ourselves before jumping in to all the other stuff.”
He says to me in a hush, so the kids don’t hear him.
I turned away from him, smiling, and handed Dylan a list.
“Here, bud, will you and Carrie run up to the grocery store and grab these things for me so I can start dinner?”
“You can drive?”
Lee asks, looking at Dylan.
“Yeah, I’m seventeen. I’ve had my license for a year now.
“Umm, did your mom teach you or…?”
he looked over at me and laughed.
I smacked him, “Oh stop! I’ve gotten better!”
Dylan laughed at that and shook his head, “No you haven’t, who are you kidding?”
“What! You don’t even know what he’s talking about.”
I shot back.
“I can figure it out.”
“Let me guess, she still has a lead foot, doesn’t she?”
Lee asks and Dylan raises his eyebrows and nods. They high five like they’re best buds and laugh at me.
“Oh right! Gang up on me now, I see how this is gonna be!”
I laugh along with them and then shoo the kids out the door, giving me and Lee a bit of time alone.
There’s been a lot to take in over the last hour and I want to make sure he’s okay with it all. When I ask, he crushed all my doubts into a ball and tossed them out the window when he wrapped his arms around me and told me that nothing I could say would change him wanting to spend the rest of his life with me. And just like that first day with him, I melted from his words and the gentle caress of his thumb on my palm.
* * *
Maggie arrived first and was awkwardly sitting across from Lee at the patio table when I got up to answer the door to let Carrie’s dad in. We had about fifteen minutes to fill her in on the shocking reappearance of the man we had both once loved tremendously and she took it as well as could be expected. Lee has not been able to completely forgive and forget just yet; that will hopefully come with time.
I greeted Carrie’s dad – I just realized that I still hadn’t been told his name – with a friendly hug and told him how I had been looking forward to meeting him for quite a while. Carrie had told me so much about him and how she loved getting to see him for dinners with just the two of them, and I was glad to not have cancelled that night for them.
I pulled away and introduced myself, saying, “I’m Ellie.”
I glanced at him, anticipating a response with his name, but noticed his brow was creased with a perplexed expression. Before I could ask him what was wrong, his lips parted, uttering a single word that jolted me to the core, making my knees wobble under me: Watermelon.
We both looked at each other with the shocking realization of who the other is and I stole a glance over my shoulder. Seeing the people sitting on my patio, I thought, Damn! Can this get any more complicated? Before anyone became suspicious of the amount of time it was taking to return to the patio, I shook my head, silently begging him not to say anything. I only just got Lee back and with everything going on, I had completely forgotten about that one night stand which was the result of a life altering event involving those two people over there.
I rubbed my forehead and tried to smile, “Freddie, right?”
“Yeah.”
He smiled back and then hesitated, “Is he…”
“Come on, let me introduce you.”
I didn’t let him finish before I turned to lead him to the group. I wasn’t ready to have a full conversation with just him right away.
Freddie and I walked out to the patio, and I could feel his eyes burning through the back of me while he followed my steps and I introduced him to Dylan first, then Lee. At the mention of Lee’s name, I saw an almost invisible jolt of recognition before Freddie reached over to shake his hand and the guilt raced through me as if I was back in his apartment, drunk and disgusted with myself, crying over my mistake. He heard me call out Lee’s name that night, I know that because the words that followed were what made me cry.
The dinner that was meant to be happy and full of excitement over our reunion, was the most awkward I’ve ever felt in my life. I was, ironically, seated with Lee on my left and Freddie on my right and both of them were stealing glances at me throughout our meal. I decided I needed to tell Lee about the rest of that night once everyone was gone.
When Maggie left, Dylan and Carrie excused themselves to watch a movie in the living room and that left me alone with both of these men. Lee offered to clear the table and Freddie waited until he was out of earshot to ask if we could talk.
“I actually cannot believe this is happening.”
I told him in a hushed whisper.
“You have no idea! I’m here, finding out my daughter might be dating her half brother?”
His question was slightly accusatory, and I looked at him thoughtfully – that thought hadn’t crossed my mind. He was looking into the living room window at Carrie and Dylan when I responded.
“No.”
I shook my head.
“I was already pregnant.”
His eyes darted back to me sharply.
“I didn’t know; I never would have…”
I took a breath, guess I owe Freddie an explanation too but just as I was about to start, Lee was heading back to the patio. He slid open the glass door and strode over to me, arm swinging around my shoulders in confidence. Confidence that I really didn’t want to shatter.
I looked from Freddie to Lee and back again and decided that there just couldn’t be any lies or secrets between us. My mind was echoing what Lee said earlier, we’ve been given a second chance, and we were going to do this right.
I sighed, “Can we all sit back down?”
The three of us sat down at the table again and I began to relive that excruciating night one more time. For Lee, it was knowing what happened after I left him and for Freddie, it was learning what led me to the bar.
When I finish, I look over at Lee. He swallows hard, letting his throat roll on the clarity of the events from our last night together. Then he inhales and gets up from his chair, pacing the patio. Freddie and I don’t say anything until Lee returns to the table and tells me, “Okay, it’s in the past and I told you I could take it as long as I know about it. Whatever happened between that night and tonight, it doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”
And then, as if something had just struck him, Lee looks over a Freddie and narrows his eyes. He tilts his head and I notice his hands formed fists at his sides. I slide the seat out and quickly jump up to stand in front of him.
“Lee, what’s gotten into you, what’s wrong?”
“Did you know?”
He asks Freddie.
“Know what?”
“That she was only sixteen?”
Lee takes a step toward Freddie, and I push him back, shaking my head. I look over at Freddie, apology written on my face.
“He didn’t know. I didn’t tell him anything.”
“You were sixteen?”
He sounds hurt, “How … Why …”
He wipes his hand down his face and finds his words, “You should have stopped me. I wouldn’t have …”
He turns around, facing away from me, his hands in his pockets.
“I was barely twenty one, but you were only sixteen. You tried to tell me you were trouble; I should have known.” He turned back around to face me again, “I’m so sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Freddie. I didn’t stop you; I was hurt, and I wanted to drown in my misery. I wanted to forget what happened earlier and you just happened to be there to help me do that. It backfired on me, though, because I still lost the only guy I ever loved that night.”
I shrugged and sat back down in my chair, prompting both of them to do the same.
Freddie clears his throat at that and goes on to tell us what happened after that night; the part I didn’t know.
“I went back to that bar every night for two weeks, looking for you. I knew you told me no strings attached and you didn’t want me to know your name, but I was kind of obsessed. I wanted to make sure you were okay; I remember you were crying, and I tried to comfort you, but you turned away from me. I felt so bad that I wasn’t the one you wanted, so I let you sleep. I thought maybe we could talk about it in the morning, maybe I could help you find this guy that you wanted to be with instead of me, but when I woke up and you were gone, I panicked. You didn’t leave anything behind, there was no trace of you and the only thing I could think of was to go back to the bar and hope that you would show up.
The night I met Maggie, she tried to pick me up and I told her that I was only there because I was looking for someone I had met before. Maggie was there hoping to find someone new that didn’t know anything about her. She stayed to talk to me until the bar closed and she came back every night to sit with me while I looked for you. We actually bonded over her stories about her previous relationship, but it never clicked that the Lee in her stories was the same Lee that Ellie was with.
Oh man, if Maggie ever found out that she was second best to you for both of us…" he waved his hand between himself and Lee while shaking his head.
“She’d flip out and probably never talk to any of us again.”
He slapped the table with one hand and looked over at me. ”You know what? I just realized that Maggie was underage too. How the fuck were you all getting into that bar?”
We all laughed at that, and with the air clear between us, we left the past outside and walked back into the house.
I had no idea what Freddie would think of me after I left him, but it never occurred to me that he was concerned about my wellbeing. He heard me crying, and he tried to comfort me. It made me think differently about him. When I looked back at that night, like I so often did over the years, I always thought he was just some guy out looking for an easy lay, but I was wrong. I’m glad he found comfort in Maggie after I left him and I’m glad he’s Carrie’s dad – and not Dylan’s.