Chapter 21
Cherish pulled the button on her blazer as soon as she stepped outside of her home office. Had she expected tonight to go this direction? Absolutely. Was it terrifying at first? For sure. But as she pulled apart her blazer and dropped it to the floor, she felt nothing of that fear and trepidation she’d expected.
She was filled with anticipation.
With hope.
With arousal.
It had been so long since Cherish had felt it so purely. She wanted to look over her shoulder, see Haylee’s reaction to her being purposely messy. She’d noticed that was a turn-on or at least a point of curiosity for Haylee, something she’d paid attention to. Cherish was neat and clean because it helped her focus, not because she was obsessed with everything being in its orderly place.
At least that’s what she told herself.
Most days.
Cherish smiled to herself as she reached the hemline of her blouse and pulled it slowly over her head. She dropped it behind her. Haylee would follow. Of that she was sure. After the taste of what could happen between them so far, Cherish had no doubt that Haylee wanted more. But the question remained, did she?
The question wasn’t so much whether she wanted it or not, but whether her body would cooperate with the desires of her heart and mind. For years Cherish had avoided sex when she wasn’t in a long-term relationship, when she wasn’t with someone who would understand. The feeling of inadequacy rendered her vulnerable in a way she hated.
Because it was shame.
She couldn’t have sex without shame rearing its ugly head, believing that she wasn’t good enough. Haylee’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, and she was tugged sharply into Haylee’s chest, stopping instantly.
“Stop thinking already.”
Cherish scoffed. “You don’t know me at all.”
“I know you never stop thinking, but at least shut up whatever you’re thinking about now.” Haylee pressed her lips gingerly against Cherish’s neck, right where it met her shoulder.
Cherish closed her eyes on a sigh. Please just let this happen tonight. She could beg her body all she wanted, but it rarely agreed with her brain. Reaching behind Haylee’s neck, Cherish turned her head to lock their lips together. She closed her eyes and focused on every sensation she could find in her body. It was slow at first, tingly, and she had to really focus her mind to feel it.
But it was there.
And that much made her happy.
Haylee moved her hands to the back of Cherish’s skirt, sliding the zipper down with a steady movement. The speed from before, the race to the finish, seemed to be gone. Was Haylee going to take her slow or hard? Cherish preferred it fast and hard. It was easier to fake that way.
“Where are we going?” Haylee asked.
“This way,” Cherish whispered, barely looking into Haylee’s dark brown eyes before she looked straight ahead.
Cherish opened the door to the bedroom, finding everything in place. She always made sure the apartment was clean before she left in the mornings. It cleared her mind for the day so she wasn’t caught up here when she should be at work. Haylee’s hands were at her hips again, pushing the soft material of her skirt down her body. Haylee plucked the hooks on her bra, and within minutes, Cherish was on the bed naked.
Haylee grinned, looking her over. Cherish probably had that exact same look on her face when she’d first seen Haylee standing naked in front of her. Fuck, she couldn’t believe they were doing this. But Haylee had been standing so close to her. Every glance, every touch since that weekend had been intensified, and Cherish hadn’t been able to resist. She wanted to give Haylee exactly what she was looking for. A good hard orgasm.
But now?
Her fear ratcheted up a notch. She was never good at receiving. Power bottom Cherish was not. She would top anyone she could and never let them touch her. Cherish found herself gnawing on her lip again, an old habit she had long thought was dead. Haylee flicked her thumb across Cherish’s lip until she released it.
“That’s my job.” Haylee’s voice was low. “And I want to taste you just like you did me.”
Cherish drew in a shuddering breath as Haylee climbed onto the bed. This was a confident Haylee—the woman that Cherish knew was underneath all of that second-guessing. Apparently, she just had to get naked to be her true self. Whereas Cherish felt anything but. This was where she hid the most.
“You had your turn, now it’s mine.” Haylee straddled Cherish, the warmth of her brushing along Cherish’s belly. Low and so close to where Cherish felt the tingling need.
“Right,” Cherish whispered, hoping that Haylee hadn’t heard her.
She could distract Haylee long enough that she could take over again. Nipping Haylee’s lower lip, Cherish skimmed her fingers along Haylee’s waist and then her hip. Her body was fascinating, the way Haylee moved, the softness of her skin, the heat that emanated from her. Cherish could revel in it for days at least.
The feel of being pressed into the mattress, of being covered and touched and loved by this woman was so new. This was someone who had managed to push Cherish to new heights and places. Had pushed Cherish to be herself.
“Haylee,” Cherish cried out, her heart racing. She put her hands on Haylee’s cheeks to pull her back and break their kiss. It was clear from Haylee’s look that she misinterpreted the interruption. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“We’ve already done this.”
Cherish sucked in a sharp breath and held back her groan of frustration. That wasn’t what they were talking about, and she had to make this clear. Haylee had to understand. “No, not that. I mean…” Cherish’s heart raced, that sense of shame stealing through her chest to consume her. “I suck at this.”
“You don’t suck at anything, Cherry. You literally conquer anything you put your mind to. I see you do that every day.”
Cherish was about to give up. That’s what she normally did. She wasn’t even sure why she was still trying. She would just fake it, and Haylee would be done, and they could move on from here. But the words slipped through her lips before she could stop them. “I suck at sex.”
“Like hell you do.” Haylee laughed lightly, her brow furrowed.
“No, not like that.” Cherish bit her lip again, noting how raw it felt and the pang of hurt that sliced through her. “I don’t…it’s not easy for me to get off.”
“Oh.” Haylee’s smile vanished, but she didn’t pull away. Not like Cherish’s other lovers had. “So do you not want to—”
“I want to.” Cherish wanted to make that abundantly clear. “I want to. It’s just not easy. So don’t expect anything.”
“I never have expectations.” Haylee leaned in and kissed her swiftly. “And don’t worry, Cherry. Because if I get to put my mouth on you, I’m going to be the happiest girl in Portland tonight. I don’t care if you come or not. Well, I do care, I just… I’m fucking this up. I’ll still enjoy it whether you get off or not. I promise.”
“Okay.” Cherish held a breath high in her chest, waiting for the next shoe to drop, for Haylee to back away, for her to leave. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this had happened. It probably wouldn’t be the last either.
“Are you sure you want to continue?” Haylee ran her fingers over Cherish’s collar bone, down her arm, and across her chin. “I won’t unless you want to.”
“Yeah. I do. I’ve dreamed about this.” Cherish had no idea what to do with her hands. She wanted to touch, but now everything was awkward, and she wasn’t sure where they stood together.
“Good.” Haylee moved in, pressing their mouths together.
Haylee held still, holding the kiss until Cherish relaxed and parted her lips. Then Haylee teasingly ran her tongue across Cherish’s lower lip before nipping and pulling back. “Just tell me if something doesn’t feel good. If it does feel good, use whatever magic you have to make sure I don’t stop doing it.”
“All right.” Cherish found herself smiling. She wasn’t sure why, but she was. She was happy. No one had ever—Cherish groaned.
Haylee’s mouth covered her breast, her tongue flicking rapidly back and forth against her hard nipple. Cherish grabbed hold of Haylee’s hair, the short buzz on the underside just above Haylee’s ear rough against her palm. She never wanted Haylee to stop, even if this was all they did for the night, Cherish wanted Haylee against her, she wanted Haylee to be on top of her, touching her, loving her, doing everything that she could to her.
Even if that was all she got tonight, Cherish would be satisfied. They had been building up to this for months now. She closed her eyes, focusing on sensations, on the memories of their first kiss in the street, the cold water that splashed all over them. Their second kiss against the printer. Cherish’s heart raced rapidly, her mouth dry. She wiggled under Haylee’s body, wanting her to be between her legs already.
“Patience, Cherry.” Haylee chuckled before she attended to Cherish’s other breast, giving it the same attention, the same touches and teases.
Cherish refused to open her eyes. She didn’t even know what she needed, so she just accepted whatever Haylee was going to give her. Cherish moved her hands through Haylee’s hair, along her back, over her shoulders.
Finally, Haylee popped up with a light laugh. “Keep doing that and I’m going to tie your hands over your head.”
A thrill ran through Cherish, a shiver of pleasure that raced from her head down to her toes and then back up, stopping right between her legs. What on earth was that? She’d never been tied up before. She’d never allowed anyone that kind of control. Her heart thundered.
“Oh, you’re intrigued by that idea, aren’t you?” Haylee’s mouth was against her ear.
Cherish wished she could force herself to open her eyes, to look into Haylee’s dark brown eyes and know exactly what she was thinking and feeling, but to open her eyes would break the spell, and it would bring reality crumbling down around her.
“I can blindfold you, too.”
Another shiver. That was arousal. Pure and simple.
“Yes…” Cherish hissed, turning her cheek to blindly capture Haylee’s mouth. The kiss was brief, but when Cherish pulled away, she knew exactly what she wanted. “Blindfold me. There’s a scarf in my closet, left hand side, fourth hanger.”
“Oddly specific, but okay.”
The mattress shifted as Haylee moved. A cold wake was left by her absence, but Cherish trusted that Haylee would be back soon. Cherish kept her eyes closed. She didn’t want to lose anything that she’d gained so far, and she really did trust that Haylee would take care of her, that Haylee had her best interest in mind.
The silk against her skin was so soft. Goosebumps ran along Cherish’s arm where Haylee dragged the fabric over her. It tickled her breast before Haylee’s warm breath was against her cheek again.
“Lift your head.”
Doing as she was told, Cherish kept her eyes closed while Haylee tied the scarf around her eyes. Which one had she chosen? The dark maroon one? Or the white one with green leaves? There were so many options, but Cherish suspected that Haylee would have gone for one of the darker options. The mattress dipped again, Haylee’s knee against Cherish’s hip.
“Say bingo if you want it off.”
“Yes,” Cherish answered, instinctively knowing she had to verbally give a response.
“Even though you’re blindfolded, I still expect you to talk.”
“Of course.” Cherish threw her hands over her head, wishing Haylee had tied her up. Perhaps that was left for a second experience together, when they understood the way each of them moved and thought better. “I’m ready, Haylee.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Haylee didn’t wait. She kissed a trail down Cherish’s body. The brush of her hair sent tendrils sparking through Cherish.
Cherish was sure that Haylee had questions, that she wanted to know why it was so hard for her to come, why she couldn’t just relax and let go. Because if she did manage to do that, then sex would be so much better. A drink or two in her body and she could reach that pinnacle faster. But tonight they’d gone straight from the office to here, from one naked tango to another.
Cherish gasped.
Haylee licked her firmly and slowly. Haylee hummed, settling on her belly between Cherish’s legs. Not being able to see was everything Cherish had needed. She had to focus on just the touch, on the sensations rippling through her, where her body reacted, and unfortunately, where it still lay dormant. Haylee flicked her clit just like she had her nipple. But Cherish didn’t physically respond.
She knew that was what Haylee was looking for, but there was nothing she could do about it, except fake it. And Haylee had only ever asked for one thing from her, and that was something Cherish was going to give her no matter what.
Authenticity.
Haylee moved away from her clit, scraping her teeth ever so slightly down the inside of Cherish’s thighs, one right after the other. Then she soothed the scrape with the flat of her tongue. Cherish relaxed, her shoulders sinking even more into the mattress. She reached up behind her, finding a pillow and grasping onto it.
With practiced precision, Haylee wrapped her arms around Cherish’s thighs, raised her hips up, and covered Cherish’s clit with her mouth. She teased, she licked, she sucked, she flicked. Cherish took slow deep breaths. If she could just concentrate, then this would be good for both of them. But this kind of focus was never her strong suit.
Cherish gnawed on her lip, lifting her knees up higher and spreading her legs wider. Haylee reached up, covering Cherish’s breasts with her hands, rolling Cherish’s nipples with her thumbs. Cherish grunted. Was this really working?
She chased the feelings through her body, trying to nail them down so she could let them build. But it was so hard to find them. Still, Haylee didn’t stop, and from the sounds she was making, it was as if she was enjoying herself. Suddenly, Haylee stopped.
“What’s wrong?” Cherish said, her voice unexpectedly breathy.
“You’re not talking.”
“I’m not…really feeling much.”
“That’s helpful to know, Cherry.” Haylee kissed her thigh before diving back in. She shifted, getting her arm up under her so that she could insert two fingers into Cherish. It was slow at first, but then it went faster. Harder. Firmer.
Cherish clenched her eyes shut under the blindfold. She held as still as possible. “That’s closer.”
Haylee moved away slightly. “Will you let me try something?”
“Try what?”
“Let me put a finger in your ass.”
“I…” Cherish trailed off. No one had ever. She wasn’t even sure she could wrap her mind around that.
“It’s fine if you don’t want that. I just know that sometimes it can help. I’ll let you think about it. You tell me what you want.” And with that Haylee’s mouth was on her again.
Cherish’s mind whirred with the possibilities. Haylee added a third finger, the pressure between her legs distinct. That had been a way Cherish had gotten there in the past. Would it be that much better with Haylee fingering her ass?
“Do it,” Cherish ordered.
Haylee didn’t move right away. She took her time, sliding fingers from both hands into her pussy. Cherish’s chest tightened with anticipation. This had to work, right? It was something so different, so new, that perhaps this would be exactly what Cherish needed.
She groaned when Haylee pressed a wet thumb against her ass. But Haylee didn’t push inside her yet. She rubbed back and forth, teasing the very sensitive skin. Cherish’s nipples tightened even more than they were before—but this time Cherish knew it was from anticipation and arousal.
One finger.
It stung at first, but Cherish breathed through it. The added pressure from her ass and her pussy combined was insane.
“Oh God,” Cherish said loudly. “Don’t stop. You’re brilliant.”
Cherish wiggled, unable to keep herself still as Haylee moved against her. Cherish sucked in a sharp breath when all of a sudden, her body reverberated with the arousal she so rarely felt. She reached for it, grasped onto it, held it tightly. Following it, focusing only on it, Cherish waited for the hard slide of her orgasm to consume her.
It took way longer than she anticipated, but Haylee showed no sign of slowing down. Flinging her hand down, Cherish grabbed hold of Haylee’s short hair and held tightly as she undulated her pussy into Haylee’s mouth. She breathed heavily as pleasure washed through her.
Pleasure.
Cherish let that fact sink in. She laughed when Haylee slowed, when Haylee licked her clean, when Haylee moved up to lie next to her and pulled the blindfold off. Cherish murmured, “I’m so sorry.”
“What the hell are you apologizing for?” Haylee asked, nuzzling her face into Cherish’s neck. “You taste amazing.”
“That I take so long.”
“If I can go down on you for hours, I will.” Haylee wrapped an arm across Cherish’s middle and tugged her in a little closer. “This was the best night of my life.”
“The best?”
“Yeah,” Haylee answered. “The best.”
Cherish smiled and ran her fingers through Haylee’s hair slowly. She couldn’t lie. It was one of the best nights of her life, too. And she wasn’t going to forget it any time soon.