Chapter 23
“We need to talk,” Haylee said.
Haylee had spent the rest of the day avoiding Cherish. Then she’d spent all night debating whether or not to text her and what to even say. The next morning she’d doubted the conversations she’d conjured in her head. And now that they had thirty seconds left to the day, Cherish was already packed up and ready to leave, and Haylee couldn’t stop herself.
She needed to know how badly she had fucked up.
Cherish froze, her purse on her shoulder, halfway standing. She swallowed audibly enough that Haylee could hear it. Or maybe it was just her imagination.
They hadn’t had much of a chance to talk after their one night together. Mostly because Haylee had screwed that up. She’d tried to tell Febe her ideas, and she’d left in a sputter of anger that she had barely been able to contain. It hadn’t done her any good either. But Febe hadn’t fired her—yet.
“Here?”
Haylee pressed her lips together tightly in a line. She looked around the office, noting that Febe was still in and shook her head. This was a personal conversation, and she didn’t want prying ears.
“Then let’s go.” Cherish straightened up and rolled her shoulders.
She waited while Haylee grabbed her bag and followed Cherish toward the door. They said nothing to each other as they walked to the elevator, taking it down to the breezeway that would lead them to Cherish’s car. Haylee’s stomach swam with nerves.
Whatever rift she’d caused between herself and Cherish was one she needed to resolve.
Because she couldn’t live with this tension in her heart anymore. She needed to know if she’d ruined everything, all the chances she’d been given, yet again. Cringing as soon as they were buckled in Cherish’s car, Haylee gnawed on the inside of her cheek, not sure what to say.
“Where are we going to talk?” Cherish asked, her voice much softer than it had been all day.
Did she sense Haylee’s struggle?
“Oh. I don’t know.” Haylee really didn’t have the money to eat out, or even get a coffee that she might desperately crave. The debt collectors wouldn’t stop blowing up her phone to the point that she’d kept it on silent almost nonstop for the last week. Haylee stared out the front windshield and twisted her hands together. She should have thought this through better, but she’d only worked on figuring out what to say and what not to say.
“My place? We can order in.”
Haylee bit down particularly hard. She didn’t have the funds for that either.
“My treat, Haylee.” Cherish reached over and touched her fingers to Haylee’s thigh and suddenly the world was right again.
Perhaps she hadn’t fucked this up as much as she had thought.
“Okay.”
Cherish squeezed Haylee’s thigh before sliding her fingers up as she trailed them off. She put two fingers on Haylee’s cheek, turning her face until their eyes connected. The quick kiss was the confirmation that Haylee needed. Something was going right.
But what was it?
The drive to Cherish’s was quick and quiet, but the silence in the car was comfortable. Haylee would normally talk about work, but she really didn’t want to bring that up. Not yet. Because that was what they needed to talk about.
The awkward tension returned to Haylee’s chest as they stepped through Cherish’s front door. She couldn’t avoid it any longer, and as much as she might want to, they really needed not to. Haylee snagged Cherish’s hand and spun her around, pulling her in for a kiss. With a hand to the small of Cherish’s back, Haylee tilted her as she deepened the kiss.
Cherish responded, her lips parting and her tongue dashing out against Haylee’s. Moaning, Haylee let her eyes flutter shut. She used touch to center herself, the feeling of fabric under her fingertips, the warmth of Cherish’s skin seeping through to her hands. The scent of Cherish’s subtle perfume filled her senses, intoxicating her. She could stay here all evening if given the chance.
“Haylee,” Cherish murmured, trailing her fingers down Haylee’s sides, under her jacket.
When had that happened again?
“Did you want to talk still?”
“Yes.” Haylee swallowed hard, breaking the embrace completely. “Yeah, we need to talk.”
Cherish pulled her jacket off and threw it over the chair in her living room. They’d had coffee there the other morning, sitting and laughing after they’d stayed up all night together. It had been a blissful morning. And then Haylee had gone and messed it all up. She wrinkled her nose at the memory of being together.
“I screwed up.” Haylee brushed her fingers through her hair wildly while Cherish slowly took hers out of the bun she’d had it in that day.
Cherish really had to stop that if Haylee wanted to be able to focus on actual conversation.
“Can I have some context as to what you think you screwed up?”
Haylee blew out a breath and walked toward the chair, plopping down into it heavily. “Everything.”
“That doesn’t exactly help me figure out what we’re talking about.” Cherish followed her, sitting on the arm of the chair instead of on the couch where Haylee had figured she would settle.
She was making an even bigger mess of this already. Haylee put her hand on Cherish’s thigh, using touch once again to center herself. What was more important? Them or the job? Them, for sure. But Haylee wasn’t quite ready to broach that topic yet.
“With Ms. Aarts. I screwed up.”
“Ah.” Cherish paled, her lips thinning.
Haylee had heard them shouting at each other from the outer office. She’d heard the things that Cherish had said. She’d come between them, and that was something she couldn’t handle. She wouldn’t be the person to break up that long-standing friendship. Never. Which had been why she’d left early for lunch. She couldn’t stand to be there when Cherish got back.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up, and now, it’s just hopeless.”
“It’s not hopeless,” Cherish answered, sliding her arm along Haylee’s back. “Ms. Aarts questions your passion and whether or not you have it. And approaching her for a new project is always difficult. In some ways, you have to make her think it’s her idea—or it just has to be so brilliant she can’t say no.”
“Perfect,” Haylee muttered. “So I’ve really screwed it up.”
“You haven’t. You need to tell her why you’re so interested in this particular thing. She doesn’t understand.” Cherish pressed a kiss to Haylee’s cheek. “Frankly, neither do I. But I trust you. She doesn’t know you well enough yet.”
“You trust me?” Haylee was taken aback by that. No one had ever trusted her. She was the constant screwup.
“Mm-hmm.” Another kiss to Haylee’s cheek. Then her neck. “Ms. Aarts is scrupulous when it comes to passion. You have to tell her why you want this.”
“I…I’m not sure I can do that.”
Haylee shifted, and Cherish moved onto the chair, straddling Haylee before settling on her knees. The smile lighting up her features was seductive, no question about it. And if Haylee wasn’t so worried about everything, then she’d most definitely give in.
“Do you know what passion is?” Cherish kissed down Haylee’s neck, across the front of her chest, and back up the other side of her neck. “Do you know how to tap into it?”
In this situation? Haylee absolutely knew it. But when it came to why she was so affected by veterans when she wasn’t one herself? She couldn’t explain that. No one would understand it.
“Haylee…” Cherish cooed, sliding her hands heavily down Haylee’s chest to the belt at her waist. “What are we doing here tonight?”
“I think I know what you’d like to be doing.”
Cherish smiled. “I don’t think you’d mind.”
Haylee wouldn’t mind. But they did still need to talk about them and what they were doing. Because ultimately, Haylee knew which way this was going to go, and she wasn’t going to have a job at the end of it—at least not with Febe in that office. Maybe that was why Febe had been so standoffish about her request. Maybe Cherish had already talked to Febe. This was just the slow decline into her termination.
Putting her hands on Cherish’s hips, Haylee looked up at her. She had wanted this for so long, but in the last few weeks, she’d gotten a taste of what long-term employment had meant. Consistency. Trust. She’d never had that before, and this—whatever it was between them—could ruin it all. Still, Cherish was a beautiful woman, fiery under all that ice, and Haylee wanted another taste.
Since everything came to an end, what did she actually have to lose?
“Come here.” Haylee reached up and pulled Cherish down by the neck, pressing their mouths together. Cherish sat down on her lap heavily, leaning in and grinding against her. Haylee moaned. She glided her hands around Cherish’s hips to her ass and tugged her in.
“Passion is something you have, Haylee. I’ve no doubt about that.” Cherish bit down and sucked on Haylee’s skin. She moaned. “I want to mark you.”
“Yesss…” Haylee hissed, her eyes fluttering shut.
Cherish did just that, licking and sucking. Haylee’s entire body ramped up, ready for whatever Cherish had in store for her. But she still couldn’t get that moment in the office out of her head. She tried to shake it, but Febe’s voice kept haunting her. She didn’t have passion.
Haylee had lived her entire life flitting from one thing to the next, one relationship to the next. Febe was right. Passion wasn’t her forte. She wasn’t someone who stuck with anything, and even though she felt for veterans, she knew she wasn’t going to be around long enough to see the project through. It was an impossibility.
“Passion doesn’t always go both ways, you know.” Cherish slid off the chair and stood up, holding her hand out for Haylee to take.
Canting her head to the side, Haylee stared at Cherish’s hand for a second too long before taking it. As soon as she stood up, Cherish was pressed against her, mouth to mouth, chest to chest. Haylee wrapped arms around her, holding her like she was a precious jewel. Her heart thundered. Haylee had to figure out what they were doing together.
“Cherish?”
“Yes?” Cherish smiled over her shoulder as she started toward her bedroom, Haylee’s hand in hers.
Haylee didn’t speak again until they reached the hallway. “What are we doing together?”
“Exploring.” Cherish stopped, as if sensing Haylee’s hesitation. “I don’t… The other night was amazing, Haylee.” Her tone turned from flirtatious to somber. “I want to see where that might take us, but I come with my own issues. Just like you do. And we need to figure out if our baggage can work together.”
“That’s astute.”
Cherish shrugged slightly. “I’m not looking for love, so don’t worry about that.”
“Good.” Haylee bent her head to kiss Cherish quickly. “Because I don’t fall in love.”
“Then that’s a bonus for me.” Cherish pushed Haylee backward into the wall, covering her. Haylee slid her hands up and down Cherish’s back, finding her skin hot and soft. “Tonight’s for you, Haylee.”
Frowning, Haylee lifted Cherish’s shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor.
“I’m serious,” Cherish mumbled against Haylee’s neck. “Just for you.”
“I really do enjoy being between your legs, Cherry. Even if it takes a long time or it never happens.” Haylee brushed her fingers lightly over the tops of Cherish’s breasts.
“Why don’t we just see where this goes. Okay?”
“Fine.” Haylee pressed her shoulders into the wall, her hips jutting out. “But I still want to be between your legs.”
“Some other night,” Cherish stated again.
“Then what are we doing tonight?” Haylee wrinkled her nose.
“Everything else.”
What did that even mean?
Haylee was growing more and more frustrated by the second. She understood that Cherish hesitated to do anything physical because of her own issues, but hadn’t they at least started to work through that? Cherish slid her hand down the front of Haylee’s pants, drawing a moan from her. Within seconds, Haylee’s mind was only on Cherish’s fingers, playing her like a fine-tuned instrument.
“Jesus, Cherry.”
“That’s sexy.” Cherish wetted her fingers before inserting two of them.
Haylee closed her eyes, knocking her head back into the wall. She was going to be fucked senseless in two seconds flat, and Cherish wasn’t even going to let her touch, or taste. Haylee’s heart raced. It was unfair in her mind, but if this was what Cherish wanted, then that’s what she would go ahead with. She could wait. She could see if they could get beyond one more night and then be together like before.
Going deep into her memories, Haylee focused on Cherish’s taste and feel, of exactly what it was like to slide her tongue around Cherish’s clit in that slow steady circle. Her entire body jerked with a start, her nipples hardening. Fuck, why did they still have most of their clothes on?
“Passion isn’t just a two-way street,” Cherish whispered into her ear.
Why was every word such a turn on? It shouldn’t be. Cherish was holding back, yet again, refusing to let go and Haylee hated it. When would she ever just be herself?
“Do you feel me?” Cherish asked.
“Yes,” Haylee answered without thinking. All she could do was feel Cherish’s fingers, her thumb spinning slow and firm circles, just like Haylee had done to Cherish with her tongue.
Haylee rocked her hips slowly. Once. Twice. Three times. She grasped hold of the back of Cherish’s neck, pulling her in for a wet and messy kiss. She gasped for air. How could she be so close to the breaking point already?
Another circle.
Haylee’s mind flashed back to that night together, to the twitching of Cherish’s legs, the tightening pull in her abdomen as she got closer to the pinnacle. Haylee’s heart rampaged, threatening to break out of her rib cage and run away with her sanity. She wanted to reach up and unhook Cherish’s bra, but without permission she wouldn’t. And forming tangible words right now was out of the question.
Grunting, Haylee bit her lip. She dropped her head to Cherish’s shoulder as she rutted into Cherish’s hand. She hadn’t anticipated this. She hadn’t thought—Haylee cried out. Her orgasm pulled through her sharply, tensing her entire body in seconds flat. She clung onto Cherish for dear life, knowing that if she let go, she would fall to the floor in a lump of spent energy.
Cherish kissed her breathily, her breasts rising and falling as if she was getting as much pleasure from this as Haylee was. Haylee kissed Cherish’s neck, her cheek, her lips. As her brain came back to her skull, Haylee focused on exactly what was happening in this moment.
“Tell Febe why you care so much, and she might start to see it your way.”
“Really?” Haylee frowned. “Work advice when you’re still two knuckles deep?”
Cherish chuckled lightly. “I’ll ask forgiveness later.”
“Fuck,” Haylee muttered. “How can you even think after something like that?”
“It’s easier than it should be.”
“So what now?” Haylee asked, finally able to breathe and semi-think again.
“Now we do this again.”
“Damn it, Cherry. I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow.”
“Perfect.”