Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Sterling
The water pulsed down over my back, washing the sweat and grime off my skin from my run.
Exhaustion was sitting like a heavy weight on my shoulders.
Today had been a shit-tastic day, despite it starting off great.
I’d woken up in Graham’s bed, wrapped up in his blankets and swarmed with his pillows.
The scent of him had been clinging to my skin and clothes, relaxing me.
I’d even made so much progress by letting him comfort me and hold me after my nightmare last night.
Then, I’d logged onto social media, like I did every Saturday morning while waiting on Graham to finish hockey practice, and the first post I’d seen was two pics of me. One was okay—I actually looked kind of hot. The second pic, someone had zoomed in on my dick and made a disgusting comment.
When you can’t get your dick up.
It was still running through my head on a fucking loop. I couldn’t get it out.
The number of reactions and comments on that post had sent me spiraling, and a panic attack had grabbed hold of me, dragging me into its dangerous riptide. There’d been no hope for me, and it’d been a struggle to bring myself out of it.
When I did—with tears running down my face and my teeth chattering—I’d shoved my feet into my shoes and did the only thing I knew to do.
Run. Run from my demons. Run from that fucking post.
Just run. As far and as fast as I could.
Graham showing up had been a lifesaver. He’d kept pace with me the entire time, not once complaining even though I knew he’d just finished practice.
Then, silently, he’d held me when I hugged him, desperate to feel his arms around me.
Because with Graham, I knew everything was okay. I was safe, and no one could touch me.
The car ride back to our dorm building had been silent, but he had held my hand the entire way. We even took the stairs up to the fifth floor instead of using the elevators. Then, he’d simply pressed a kiss to my lips and left me to gather my clothes for a shower.
I leaned my head back, letting the water drench my hair. I just wanted to go to sleep. Or at least curl up in bed with Graham where the rest of the cruel, harsh world couldn’t touch me for a little while. Because Graham wouldn’t let it.
I quickly washed my hair and body before turning the water off and stepping into the area to dry off and get dressed. “Babe, you okay in there?” Graham asked from the other side of the curtain.
“Yeah,” I rasped. I cleared my throat before attempting to speak again. “I’ll meet you in the dorm room.”
I heard him walk off a moment later. After tugging on my sweats, I towel-dried my hair.
Once it was no longer dripping, I tossed my towel over my bare shoulder and grabbed my basket of toiletries before heading to our dorm room up the hall.
When I walked in, Graham was reclined back in bed, his hair damp, his torso bare.
Nothing but a pair of boxers was riding low on his hips, revealing the V of his hips.
Good fucking Lord, he was hot as hell.
“Come on,” he coaxed, patting the spot beside him. “I’ve already got a movie ready to go.”
I smiled at him as I hung my towel up to dry so it wouldn’t be mildewed when I put it in the laundry and set my toiletries on the counter. I crawled over him and settled by the wall before resting my head on Graham’s chest. He wound an arm around me and pressed play on the movie.
I walked my fingers over his abs, not even paying attention to whatever he had on. I just needed to touch him. Pleasurable tingles ran through my body, but my dick wasn’t getting hard despite it. Still, I wanted to touch Graham however I could, even if I got nothing in return.
“Sterling,” he rumbled when I teased the waistband of his boxers. His fingers dug into my flesh, but instead of feeling trapped, I pressed closer, wanting more. I loved how he touched me. Loved how special I felt when he looked at me. When he held me like this.
“I want to,” I pleaded, looking up at him.
He leaned down and kissed me. It started slow and soft, but it didn’t take long for it to grow more heated. He slid his tongue into my mouth, and I moaned. Sliding my hand beneath the waistband of his boxers, I circled my hand around his cock. He was hard and smooth, his tip wet with precum.
“Oh, fuck,” Graham groaned. He rolled to the side, drawing me closer, trapping my hand between us. But that was fine because he began to thrust into my hand, moaning into my mouth. His tongue was hot and wet, and his cock was hard as steel, even more precum leaking from the mushroom-tipped head.
“Your cock feels so good,” I rasped into his mouth.
“Tighter,” he panted. I tightened my fist around him, and he snarled my name, thrusting even faster. By this point, we were barely even kissing anymore. He was just panting into my mouth, our tongues half-heartedly licking as he chased his orgasm.
“Sterling!” he shouted right before his cum spilled into my fist and wet the front of his boxers.
I slid the fingers of my free hand into his hair and softly kissed him, gently working him down from his high.
He finally pushed my hand away, and I brought my fingers to my lips, licking his cum off.
He groaned, his eyes shutting for a brief moment before he opened them to continue watching me.
I moaned at the taste of him. Christ, I should’ve given him head instead. I would be mourning that loss for the rest of the night.
“That’s hot,” Graham whispered.
I smiled and sat up before sliding off the bed to go wash my hands. “Next time, I’m giving you head.”
Graham groaned as he slid out of bed, dropping his boxers. I bit my lip at the sight of his toned ass in the mirror. “That’s teasing because now I’ve got the image of you sucking my dick in my head.”
I snickered. But the intimacy we’d shared had settled the turmoil inside of me. I was calm. Warm. Safe.
When I slid back into bed, Graham immediately curled his body around mine, his warm breath fanning the skin on the back of my neck. I covered his hand with one of mine, my eyes sliding closed.
This—this right here—was all I needed in life.
“Why is your phone ringing this early?” Graham groaned, burrowing his face in my shoulder.
“Just ignore it,” I mumbled, tugging the blanket over my face. It was too fucking early to be awake after the day I’d ended up having yesterday. I wanted to lay in bed all day and just sleep and pretend the world didn’t exist and that people weren’t talking shit about my ED on social media.
My phone finally stopped ringing, but then it started right back up again.
Graham cursed and rolled away from me. A pathetic whine slid from between my lips.
I wasn’t ready to be separated from him yet.
Every time I’d started having a nightmare, Graham had somehow coaxed me out of it without waking me up too much, so I easily fell back asleep every time.
I wanted his warmth back around me so I could sleep some more.
“It’s your mom,” Graham grumbled, putting the phone in front of me on the mattress. As he wrapped his body back around me, crushing me to him, I cracked one eye open and answered the call, putting it on speaker after so I didn’t have to hold the damn thing.
My eyes sliding closed, I croaked, “Hey.”
“Hey, hun!” Mom exclaimed, much too chipper for how early it was. I groaned, making her release a breezy little laugh. “We’re in town. Wanted to have breakfast with you and Graham, if the two of you are up to it.”
Graham’s stomach rumbled behind me at the mention of breakfast. It didn’t matter that he was barely awake right now. His stomach was, and it had a mind of its own. And Graham usually ended up following it.
“Does it include pancakes that my Coach will kill me for?” Graham sleepily asked. “Because if so, I’m one hundred percent in.”
Mom snorted. “Yes, Graham, it includes pancakes.”
I groaned again. It was clear I was now on the losing side. “I guess we’re meeting you for breakfast,” I muttered.
“Oh, don’t sound so down about it,” Mom teased. “You love it when I surprise you and wake you up.”
I really didn’t, though I did enjoy her and Dad’s company.
They weren’t overbearing parents—just protective.
And after the hell I’d gone through, that protection was welcome.
I knew it definitely wasn’t easy for Mom to let me come to college away from home, but she was comforted by the fact that my therapist was nearby.
And when I became friends with Graham, she relaxed even more.
I had a system here—a reliable one. And that was all she wanted for me.
“Meet us at that breakfast spot down the road from campus,” Mom instructed. “I can’t think of the name of it right now. Graham knows which one I’m talking about.”
“If anything pertains to food, he always knows,” I joked, slowly coming more awake.
Graham lightly bit my shoulder, making me yelp. “Stop teasing Graham, Sterling,” Mom scolded, but her tone was too light to actually be serious. “We’ll see you in, say… an hour?”
“An hour’s good,” I assured her. When the call ended, I rolled over and narrowed my eyes at Graham. “Did you seriously fucking bite me?”
Graham just grinned. Then, he rolled us over so I was beneath him, settling between my thighs. My body came alive, though not one hundred percent like I would’ve preferred. But when his lips met mine, I ceased to care.