CHAPTER SEVEN #2
“If that happens, we’re done. Your choice.” She’s pushing me and I’m getting to the point where I don’t care how things end between us.
“You wouldn’t dare. You need me too much.”
“Try me.”
Her upper lip curls, which indicates where this is leading. I know her so well. She picks up one of my Brit Awards and, with genuine effort, aims it my way. Covering my head with my arms, I duck as it hits a vase on the cabinet beside me and the glass shatters into a million pieces.
A second goes by before I stand fully and confront her. “Are you fucking mad!” My hands fist by my side, and I’m doing everything I can to keep my cool. “I’m not putting up with your bullshit any longer.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve smashed your last item in this house.”
A hum leaves her lips. “Oh, yeah?” She picks up a ceramic vase from the table and before I can speak, it’s flying past my head. This time, the noise wakes our boy. His crying tugs at my heartstrings, but thankfully, I hear Connie calming him down.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I growl.
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell the nanny how clumsy you are. But you’d better watch it, baby. You don’t want her thinking you threw it at me,” Chelsea sneers.
What a bitch. Is she suggesting to our nanny that I was trying to hurt her?
“We both know that won’t work. Connie’s witnessed your temper too many times.”
“Oh, piss off. You don’t know what she’d do for a few extra quid in her pocket.”
“I trust her more than I trust you.”
“You piece of shit. How dare you?”
Chelsea has no idea, but while I was touring without the family, Connie called me in a panic.
Chelsea hadn’t come home all night and Connie had no idea where she was.
It happened more than once and I was stuck in the middle by keeping Connie calm and giving Chelsea the freedom I thought she needed. What a sucker.
“Look at it from my point of view. This isn’t just one night out. It’s every night with fuck knows who, doing fuck knows what. I don’t trust you, and I should be able to trust my wife.”
“I’m getting bored with this shit. I’m so done with you and all this made-up crap. Don’t wait up.” She storms past, and if I gave a damn, I’d go after her. Since I don’t move a muscle, I’m guessing I don’t, but her crap attitude towards our son has blown my temper out of control.
As she slams the door, I shout, “Don’t bother coming back!”
I check on Ozzie. Connie is sitting beside him, his little hand in hers. Shit, all that shouting must have really shaken him up.
“I’m sorry, kid,” I whisper as I enter the room and sit down at the end of his bed. He crawls on my lap and looks up at me with puffy red eyes. This is not a good environment to bring up a five-year-old.
“What happened, Daddy?”
“Nothing for you to worry about,” I tell him, stroking his hair.
I glance over at Connie. Her brown eyes seem sympathetic as she looks towards me. This has got to be a difficult situation for any twenty-two-year-old to cope with, but she does an amazing job.
“Sorry you had to hear that. I hate putting you in this position. Are you okay?”
Running her fingers through her dark hair, her lips purse into a smile. “Yes, we’re fine, aren’t we, Oz?”
Ozzie nods silently, and I can’t hug him close enough.
He calms my temper quicker than any bottle of whiskey ever could, so maybe now is the time to cut back and re-think the way I live my life.
Some things are more important than partying and living the dream.
I have my kid to think about. I need to keep my head straight from now on.
That woman has fucked me over for the very last time.
By early morning, Chelsea still isn’t home, not that I expected her to be, and I can’t find the energy to care.
I contemplate getting out of bed to get Ozzie ready for his day, but when I turn over, I’m surprised to see him lying next to me.
He must have climbed in during the night. He’s done that before.
“Hey, buddy.” I place my hand on his arm, but he’s out for the count.
Ozzie never sleeps in. This is a first. Last night must have scared the shit out of my little guy, so I’ll keep him with me today.
As I’m thinking about it, I hear the news channel in the kitchen, which means Connie is up and about already.
“Good morning, Ozzie. Are you awake?” I hear her call out, so I throw the duvet over my sleeping boy, chuck on my joggers, and creep out to find her.
“Ozzie, this isn’t the time to play hide and seek,” she says, coming out of his room.
I close my bedroom door and I’m standing behind her. “Ozzie slept with me last night.” Her body jolts around to face me. “Sorry, Connie. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I’m sorry, Mr Graham. I didn’t hear you get up.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Then I nod towards my room. “Maybe we should let him sleep in. He didn’t have the best night.”
She purses her lips into a smile. “Okay, whatever you think.”
I don’t know what I’d do without this girl. She’s so dedicated to our son and has never missed a day of work since she started.
Connie came to us after completing her training at a fancy college in Somerset. She’s the niece of an old friend, which is how I found her so quickly. I needed someone, and she needed her first job. It couldn’t have worked out better. My boy loves her.
“Is Mrs Graham sleeping in too?” she asks while tying her shoulder-length hair into a bun.
“I think you already know she’s not here.” By the look in her eye, I can tell she understands. “Look, Connie, I want to keep Ozzie with me today. We’ve got our last gig at The Garden tonight, and I’ve got rehearsals this afternoon. How would you feel about bringing him along?”
Her face lights up. “I think I might be a little stoked, Mr Graham.”
My nanny is about to self-combust. She loves watching the band rehearse but doesn’t get to do it often because, even when she was on tour with us, Chelsea had her working all fucking hours.
“You know, Connie, I’m happy to get you and your friends tickets. All you have to do is ask.”
Her words almost catch in her throat. “Yo-you are?”
“Sure. Just let me know, okay? I can arrange a sitter for Oz.”
“But Mrs Graham said I shouldn’t ask. She said I’d be taking advantage.”
“Take no notice. In fact, from now on, I’d appreciate it if you reported to me and not Chel—Mrs Graham. Okay?”
“Sure.” She nods, looking a little bewildered.
“To be honest, I can’t rely on my wife for anything, and when it comes to Oz, nothing is more important. I’m hoping you can bear with me until I’ve talked to Mrs Graham some more.”
She smiles with straight lips. “Of course I can.”
“Thank you.” I exhale. “So, I’ve got a few calls to make now. I’d appreciate it if you could wake Oz up in an hour, then how about I take you both to breakfast?”
“Sure, Mr Graham. I think Ozzie would love that.”
“Yeah.” I smile. “I think he would too.” She always puts Oz first, which is more than his mum ever has.
I head back to my bedroom, intending to jump in the shower, but when I catch Ozzie using my bed as a trampoline, I’m distracted.
“Hey, little man. You’re awake and full of beans by the look of it. What have I told you about jumping on the bed?” I’m trying my best mad dad face, but I’m like putty in his hands.
“Sorry, Daddy.” He pouts.
“It’s okay, Oz.”
“Please don’t tell Mom. She gets so mad when I jump.”
I bet she does. What a fucking dragon. I grab my boy and tickle his tummy. “Don’t you worry. It’s our secret, okay?”
He giggles, giving me a smile as warm as sunshine, then wraps his little arms around me.
“I love you, Daddy.”
His American accent is so cute. “Love you too, little monster. Now, go find Connie. She was looking for you.” He jumps from my lap, running and shouting his nanny’s name. Fuck, I love that kid.
While I sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, my train of thought leads to Angie and what she’s up to. We catch up every few weeks. It’s a habit I got into after she lost Scott, although yesterday’s call is weighing heavy on my mind.
I interrupted her while she was in the middle of a date. She met this guy; Fraser I think she said his name was. I don’t know why it knocked the wind out of my sails. Maybe because it’s taken a long time for her to get to this point. She’s thirty-two and hot, so why wouldn’t she date?
I tried to stay cool. I don’t think I did a good job, because she ended the call in a hurry. I’m not sure if I was coming on all over-protective. Maybe I’ll call again soon to check in. I could do with talking things over, and Angie has been my sounding board ever since I got married.
Tonight, the band has one last obligation for this tour.
A kind of farewell show back at Madison Square Garden, but with a celebrity audience, a televised interview beforehand, and questions from the fans.
After today, I can get my head together.
I want to chew the fat with Angie, but I also want to call her first and make sure she’s okay.
I know I won’t settle until I know if her date was a success or not, and weirdly, I hope she hated every minute of it.