Chapter 28 Jessiah
I was still awake, of course, when I heard a knock at my door around one in the morning.
How was I supposed to sleep after what had almost happened with Helena in that alcove—and that brief yet memorable conversation between her and her brother?
I did my best afterward to put on a brave face, but in the end I left the event at the first opportunity, wondering how I could get the front desk to give me Helena’s room number.
But that impulse vanished just as quickly as it came.
I couldn’t risk anyone finding out that I’d asked about her, not while my mother and the Westons were staying at the same hotel.
So I’d gone back to my room and had been trying to get some work done—the quarterly accounts for Dad’s restaurants had come in and needed checking—but I could hardly concentrate, my mind drifting again and again to Helena.
God, I was already hard again just thinking about what had almost happened.
What was it about this woman that threw me so completely off track?
I wasn’t expecting anyone when the knock came, so it was with little enthusiasm that I put my laptop aside, got up, and went to open the door.
But when I peered through the peephole to see that standing outside my door was the one person I hadn’t dared hope for, I quickly turned the handle and opened it.
I could tell from her cautious greeting, and what she said next, that she was holding back, and I could see in her eyes that she hadn’t come to pick up where we left off—although she was wearing a silk robe that was practically crying out for me to take it off.
I knew well enough by now what she looked like when she was on a mission, and right now it was one I wasn’t going to like.
So I told her I’d overhead her conversation, doing my best to ignore the pang in my solar plexus when she said she’d had to see me.
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t have done it with words.
“You heard?” she asked. “How much?”
“Most of it,” I replied. “Especially the last bit, when he told you to stay away from me. It sounded like you were on the same page about that. Are you?”
She hesitated, then raised her chin.
“Yes. We are.” But as soon as she’d said it, she scoffed and shook her head. “God—no, of course we’re not. But I don’t have a choice, Jess. I have to stay away from you, whether I want to or not.”
It sounded like she’d long accepted the fact, and my gut twisted in a painful knot.
It caught me off guard; I hadn’t realized how hard it would hit when she rejected me once and for all.
Jesus, I had no idea where all this was headed, if I was on the brink—despite not wanting to get into a relationship in New York—of falling in love.
All I knew was that I was always thinking about her, that she was burrowing deeper and deeper into my heart, that I couldn’t just ignore how I felt around her.
That the darkness in me retreated when I looked in her eyes.
And that I felt hope. Hope that there was something worth fighting for.
“Tell me what’s going on with your family,” I asked her softly, but stayed where I was, keeping my distance. Better to not even be tempted to get too close.
Helena hesitated for a moment before she replied.
“My family, we… ah, damn it.” She shook her head and started again.
“It seems my family’s reputation has suffered a lot since Valerie’s death, and all eyes are on us right now.
Our circles are very conservative, as you know.
Any scandal would be a disaster for my parents. ”
“That’s what we would be, then?” I gave a dry laugh. “A scandal?”
She looked up. “We’d be the biggest scandal possible, apparently.”
“And? Is that what you think too?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” she replied.
I looked at her in earnest. “It does to me.”
“If—” she swallowed. “If they find out what’s going on, they’ll send me back to England. So whether or not I agree with their rules is irrelevant. If I have to go back, it’s over. Everything will be over.” Before I could say anything else, she gathered herself together. “I should go.”
She didn’t make any move, though. Not at first. Then she came toward me, brought a hand softly to my cheek, let her fingers drift gently down my neck. Her touch set me on fire, but I held completely still.
“We can’t do this.” Her voice was small and helpless.
“I know.” She was right—not just because of her family, but mine too. It was better for both of us to end this now before it had properly begun. Before we meant so much to each other that breaking up would be too painful. Because we’d both experienced enough pain.
But I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to end it, just as much as she didn’t—her hand was still on my neck. That force pulling us together was fierce, and I could tell Helena was fighting it with all her strength. She took her hand away, tore her eyes from mine, and reached for the door handle.
“It’s the right thing,” she said, but she looked up at me again like she was begging me to disagree.
“Yes,” I replied. And because I couldn’t stop myself, I reached out a hand, my fingers skimming very softly over hers.
“Jess…” My name was little more than a whispered plea on her lips.
“You really should go now, Fair Helen,” I murmured. “You know I’m not very good at following rules. And the longer you stand there, the more I want to break them.”
Her eyes were full of contradiction. I could practically see her carefully constructed walls crumbling, desperate rationality giving way to yearning hunger.
It had never turned me on so much before, to be looked at the way Helena was looking at me now.
To see just how much she wanted me. But I didn’t make the first move.
Holding my breath, I waited to see if she would.
Helena took a shaky breath, that battle in her blue eyes reaching its apex. And then she lost it, and said the words I’d been dying to hear.
“Break them.”
Those two words were enough to send a wave of need through my body. The tension in the air between us turned all sense, all caution to dust in a split second as I closed the last gap between us, took her face in my hands, and kissed her.
Finally.
That was the only thought in my mind as my lips touched hers. Finally. I’d had some idea how much I wanted this, but I’d never let myself admit it. Now I was certain, with every goddamn atom in my body.
Still, I held back, letting Helena set the pace.
It would take all my self-control, but if slow and gentle was what she wanted, then that’s how it would be.
But then she was pressing her body to mine, her lips parted, and I knew she wanted it neither gentle nor slow, and I was undone.
Her tongue found mine, and I moaned into her mouth as the same sound escaped her.
I felt her knees weaken, and my hands clutched at the soft fabric of her robe, pulling her closer.
Neither of us was wearing much, and I could feel everything, every breath, every tantalizing movement of her body against mine.
I could no longer think straight; all I could do was give in to the crazed need that had been building inside me ever since that day in Tough Rock when I’d first gotten a taste of what Helena Weston felt like.
Now her hands were on the back of my neck, my arms, my chest, until finally they found the bottom of my shirt.
Her fingers traced a pattern over the taut muscles of my stomach, sending an electric charge directly between my legs.
A primal sound guttered out of me, and I deepened the kiss to bury it, my arousal sending a shiver through Helena’s body.
She grabbed my T-shirt to pull it off. I helped her get it over my head, and she paused for a moment.
Her gaze, biting her bottom lip as she took me in, was almost too much.
She dropped the shirt easily to the floor.
I was desperate to do the same to her—but not here, not against the door.
In one fluid motion I lifted her onto my hips, carried her back into the room, and set her gently down on the console table.
My hands found their way inside the silk of her robe, her skin soft under my fingers as I slid the delicate fabric over her shoulders.
I pulled back, my lips rising breathlessly to her ear as I left a trail of kisses down her throat to her collarbone and all the way back up.
Helena gave a sigh, wrapping her legs tighter around me, pressing herself into my erection.
I gasped against her mouth, and we locked together in another kiss while I undid the tie around her waist, pausing for a moment to take in the sight of her. I wasn’t going to last much longer.
Helena met my gaze with a look in her eyes that had me kissing her again before I knew it.
God, I needed to take the rest of her clothes off.
Feel her completely, find out what she liked, fulfill her every fucking wish.
For a second, I was struck by a memory—of being out on my board, in the dark and the cold, risking everything just to feel alive again.
This was better.
Helena gave me the nod, and I picked her up again and carried her to the bed, while she slipped out of her robe and pulled off her boots.
My laptop was in the way; I pushed it carelessly aside.
Helena pulled me to her greedily, taking my bottom lip between her teeth, running her tongue over it tantalisingly before she drove it deep in my mouth again.
My hand spanned her throat, the curve of her breasts—and now I did go slow and gentle for a moment.
She buried her hands in my hair, giving a soft moan as my hands slid under her top and found her bare skin.
I took that as an invitation, moving down her legs and back up the inside of her thighs, stopping before I reached her most sensitive point, her center.
There’s no rush. We had the whole night.
On the one hand, I was desperate to get there; but I also wanted to savor every single moment.
Helena moved under me, her hands gliding over my stomach and reaching into the waistband of my pants.
She didn’t touch me, her fingers merely drifting gently over the inside of my thighs, but still I almost exploded.
I swore, pressing my lips together to stop myself coming there and then, at the same time desperately wishing she would just wrap her hand around me and make it happen.
My hips bucked toward her touch—I couldn’t help it.
Jesus, I could hardly take it. Not with her.
Not after everything I’d already imagined, without any real hope it would ever happen.
Gasping, I was about to tell her to stop when she pulled her hand away; maybe she knew it would be over too quickly otherwise.
I wrapped an arm around her, kissed her again, and buried my hands in her hair, realizing that she still had far too many clothes on.
Slowly, I sat up, pulling the narrow straps of her top down over her shoulders—when suddenly I heard a noise.
It was a loud, penetrating beep. It took me a while to realize it was my phone’s ringtone. It stopped, then started up again. Clearly someone hadn’t gotten the memo that I was busy with something important.
Helena sensed my distraction.
“Do you want to get that?” she asked breathlessly.
“Absolutely not,” I replied.
She made a noise signaling her agreement and kissed my neck, her hands moving downward again, thumbs hooked into my pants.
I closed my eyes, wanting to focus on her completely.
But then my phone rang once more, and suddenly it hit me where I was.
And who was staying just a few floors above me, with full knowledge of which room I was in.
“Fuck,” I gasped quietly, making Helena look up. “I have to get it.”
She let me go, and we looked at each other for a moment, as if the phone had torn us away from a dream that had ended without warning. I smiled softly, trying to mitigate the feeling. Then I got up and took the call.
“It’s past one, Trish,” I said with no preamble, trying to get my breath under control, which I could only manage by turning away from Helena. Looking at her lying in that bed, I couldn’t form any clear thoughts.
“Exactly,” my mother replied. “Bill Jefferson has finally retreated to the fireside lounge to talk business. You know how much he loves small talk and all that crap. I need you.”
I searched around for an excuse. “To be honest, I’m already in bed, and I have kind of a headache. I’m sure you can manage on your own.”
“Take a pill and get dressed again; I’ll see you downstairs in ten minutes. Your brother would have done anything for a deal with Jefferson. If you won’t do it for me, then do it for him.” And on that knockout blow, she hung up.
I turned back to Helena, the phone still in my hand.
“What did your mother want?” she asked, already suspecting the answer. She even looked a little shy as she pushed the straps of her top back into place.
“To ruin my night,” I snarled. “She wants me to join her at a meeting with an important investor. And she pulled the Adam card, so I can’t say no.”
“What would happen if you just didn’t show up?” Helena asked, but she was already getting up and pulling her robe around her again, since it was clear we couldn’t pick up where we’d left off. I had never hated my mother’s business as much as I did at that moment.
I snorted. “What do you think? In ten minutes flat she’d get ahold of a key card and barge straight in. No… I think I’ll have to go. I’m sure it’ll be quick. You’ll hardly notice I was gone.”
Helena laughed weakly. “I can’t imagine that.”
By way of reply I gave her a mischievous grin.
My shirt was draped over the desk chair; I pulled it on and buttoned it up, took my suit from its hanger in the closet, and swapped my sweatpants for fine cotton ones.
I’d left the belt in the pants, so the whole thing went pretty fast, and once I’d pulled on my jacket and swept a hand through my hair, I turned to Helena, sitting cross-legged on the bed.
“Just give me fifteen minutes, twenty max. Will you… still be here?” The whole thing had taken us both rather by surprise. I didn’t regret a second of it, but that didn’t necessarily apply to Helena.
She smiled. “Yes, of course.”
I leaned down to give her a quick kiss before grabbing my hateful necktie, along with my key card. And in full knowledge of the effect it would have, I strode to the door and left the room without looking back.