Chapter 33 Helena #2
It was a shot to the heart to see him—after three long weeks—with no warning. He looked as good as I remembered, and even though we hadn’t seen each other in a while, I realized my feelings for him hadn’t changed in the slightest. So much for out of sight, out of mind.
I stared at him dumbly, noticing how he did a brief double take when he saw me. But he didn’t let on and turned instead to Edward.
“Is there a problem?” he asked in a benign voice, but I clocked the wary undertone.
“I don’t know what that has to do with you.
” Edward raised his chin and gave Jess an arrogant once-over without meeting his eye.
But Jess still looked a hundred times classier in his plain dark shirt, sports jacket, and matching pants than my date did in his made-to-measure suit.
Fine feathers didn’t always make fine birds.
Jess’s expression grew more serious. “Well, you wanted to speak to the boss, didn’t you? The Emperor belongs to me.”
It was the best birthday present ever, watching Edward’s self-assurance shatter as he recognized Jess and realized who it was he was picking a fight with. It was probably the first time I’d thought the Coldwell family’s reputation in this city was a good thing.
“Well then,” Edward said with a pinched face, “you should make sure your employees do their job properly. Neither the martini nor the steak were up to the standard I expect. My girlfriend and I were looking forward to a nice evening, but in light of the awful service and subpar food, it’ll be the last time we come here. ”
At the word girlfriend, Jess’s right eyebrow jumped unequivocally skyward and his expression hardened even further. But still he didn’t look at me.
“The service is excellent,” I chimed in now, smiling at the waitress. “And—”
“Please don’t get involved, Helena,” Edward interrupted me, and I fell silent. At that moment Jess’s other eyebrow shot up as well, and he turned away from my date to fix his gaze on me.
My heart had already been hammering against my rib cage since I’d recognized him a moment ago, but I wasn’t prepared for what would happen when he looked me in the eye.
The wave of longing that barreled toward me and crashed over me.
The regret tying my stomach in knots. I wanted to say something but I couldn’t get a word out.
And then Jess was turning back to Edward.
“We’ll be happy to bring you a new steak,” he said to him.
“Either that, or your coat. I get the impression it’s not so much the food you find unsatisfactory, as the fact that Daddy still hasn’t given you the position you want at the company—so you’re terrorizing my staff instead of your own.
What would your father make of your conduct tonight, if he knew?
I seem to remember he’s a man who very much values good behavior.
” There was something almost threatening about Jess’s smile.
Edward’s face, on the other hand, was red as a beet: Jess’s words had had the desired effect.
“I’ll eat the steak,” he muttered. “Even though—as I’d like to stress—it’s not medium rare.”
“Good decision.” Jess looked my way. “Have a good evening, miss. Regardless.” He nodded matter-of-factly.
I wanted to say something to stop him—ask him how he was, whether he missed me as much as I missed him. But of course I couldn’t. So I let him go, pretending he meant nothing to me, while the pain inside me throbbed a steady rhythm in time with my heart.
Edward gave a snort of derision. “Unbelievable, the way that guy shows off. As if everyone in the city didn’t know he’s a total loser who’s wasting his father’s inheritance on a load of joke projects.”
I hardly heard a word. I was still looking at Jess. Instead of returning to his table, which was hidden behind a pillar, I saw him go straight to the bar. I thought about it for exactly one second, then pushed back my chair.
“Excuse me for a minute,” I said to Edward.
“We’re in the middle of our entrées,” he protested.
“I know. But I really have to go to the bathroom.” Without waiting for his approval—that’s how bad it was—I got up, put my napkin down next to my plate, and went in Jess’s direction.
I got a look at who he was with as I passed his table on the way: a woman—a beautiful, dark-haired woman in a stunning outfit, tapping at her phone while she waited for him to come back.
It stopped me in my tracks for a moment.
What did it mean, his being here with her?
I might not be the only one with a date this evening, and I couldn’t even get upset about it.
After all, I was the one who’d told him it was over before it had even begun.
He was well within his rights to look around now if he wanted to.
But it still sucks, all the same.
Jess was standing by the bar, next to the pass-through, talking quietly to a woman who looked like the restaurant manager, judging by her outfit.
I didn’t stop, walking straight past them toward the restrooms in the hope that Jess would read my sign, just like I’d read his at the Mirage.
I really needed to talk to him. Although I knew being alone with him was not a smart move.
The passage door closed behind me, leaving me standing in the corridor that led to the restrooms. I took a step forward, unsure where to wait—but then the door opened again, and I wheeled around to see Jess standing in front of me, clearly no time to lose.
I saw that old fire in his eyes as he approached, only today it wasn’t directed at me, and it was all mixed up with something else I didn’t want to name. I was afraid of what it would do to me.
“Helena,” he said, and even my name on his lips caused such a lurch deep in my belly that I couldn’t reply right away. “What’s going on?”
How was I supposed to respond to that? I wanted to see you? I couldn’t go another second without speaking to you?
“I… wanted to talk to you,” I said, looking around in case anyone could see or hear us.
Jess noticed, then stepped past me and opened a door that led to what looked like an unused office: half the room was full of tablecloths and champagne coolers. He switched on the light and let me in first. Then he followed, closing the door.
“Well?” he asked. “What’s so important you left your boyfriend waiting for you on his own out there with his steak?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said quickly. “My parents forced me into a date with him. I couldn’t do anything about it. But believe me, it’s the first and last time I’ll be going out with him.”
Jess’s face shut down even further. “It’s none of my business who you go out with.”
He was right. But it still hurt to hear how he said it. So distanced and detached. And anyway, I wanted it to be his business. I wanted everything to do with me to be his business.
“Please don’t say that,” I said softly.
“What, then?” he asked in a hard voice. “I’m supposed to be happy that you’re not into sexist assholes with no manners? What good is that when you’re dating him anyway because your parents want you to? What good is it if we need to be behind closed doors to even talk to each other?”
My head bowed. He had a point. And I didn’t have anything to say in reply that wouldn’t be a lie.
“You have no idea how badly I wish that things were different,” I said instead.
“Believe me, I do.”
His tone made me look up again. The softness in his voice hit me hard, and suddenly I was all too aware how close we were.
I wanted more than anything to take that single step toward him and touch him.
Just for a moment. But I couldn’t. I shouldn’t.
Because if I did, trying to keep my distance again would be worse than the last time.
Much worse.