Chapter 44 Helena #3
I reached into my bag and pulled out Trish Coldwell’s business card, along with my phone, clutching both hesitantly in my hands.
But no matter how much I wished for another way out, there wasn’t one.
I had to decide: my family or Jess. And although it tore my heart in two to think I might never see him again, never touch him, kiss him, or hear him call me Fair Helen…
I’d already made my decision. I couldn’t be so selfish that I would put my own happiness over and above my family’s.
That was what Valerie had done, and it hadn’t just killed her—it had led to this whole dumpster-fire situation in the first place.
And so there I stood, in my room, and for the very first time since she died, I was furious at my sister. For leaving me alone with this enormous mess that meant I had to destroy the one thing I wanted more than anything else on the planet.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and tapped out the number on the card, taking a shaky breath as it rang.
“Hello?” Trish answered after a brief pause.
“Hello, it’s… it’s Helena Weston.” I could hardly breathe, but I forced myself to do it anyway. “I’m ready to accept your offer.”
“I thought so,” she said. She didn’t ask why I’d changed my mind.
Why should she? She’d known what the score was with my family this whole time.
She probably even knew what had happened to my father.
But if that was the case, not a single word of commiseration crossed her lips.
Just cold, hard facts. “The conditions are as follows: I will let your family have the Winchester plot in exchange for your telling Jessiah that it’s over between you two.
After that, you will not see him, will not call him, will never speak to him again.
” She said the words with no emotion whatsoever, and all the while mine threatened to overwhelm me.
Tears ran down my cheeks, but I balled my free hand into a fist in my tulle dress so hard it hurt, and didn’t make a sound.
Trish continued. “You will not show up at his door out of the blue, and you will take steps to ensure that he doesn’t show up at yours.
If you should break any of these conditions or tell him about our arrangement, I will find a way to ensure your family become social and fiscal outcasts, once and for all.
And just so we are clear—I will know if you break them. Am I understood?”
I pressed my lips together as tightly as I could so she couldn’t hear me crying. “Yes,” I managed. “Understood.”
“Good. Then we have a deal. I will do what is required, and I expect the same from you.” There was an audible threat to her voice. “Let me know as soon as you’ve settled things with Jessiah.”
“Of course. When…” I breathed shakily. “When will my parents be informed?”
“As soon as you’ve fulfilled your side of the bargain. Goodbye, Helena. Believe me, you’ve done the right thing.” She hung up.
I sank onto the floor, unable to hold myself up against the door any longer, anger and despair crashing over me like a landslide.
Sobbing silently so Lincoln wouldn’t hear, surrounded by so much tulle, I wanted to stay there forever and never get up.
I knew I had to call Jess and keep my side of the bargain, but I had no idea how I was going to do it.
How could I tell him after everything between us, everything we’d been through, that it was over?
Without explaining why? And how would I bear it afterward, knowing he was still here in the city, without ever being able to see him again?
Or meeting him by accident someday, and having to turn around and walk away?
I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how I was going to do it.
But I knew I had to find a way, because I had no other choice.
“Len?” Lincoln knocked at my door. I picked myself up, wiped the tears from my eyes, and opened the door. “Mom called—we can go see Dad. Raymond’s waiting for us.” He looked me up and down in confusion. “Weren’t you going to change?”
“Yeah, I… I’ll do it now. I’ll be down in five minutes.
” I took a deep breath. Once he’d left, I took off my dress, shoving it as far back in my closet as possible so that I never had to see it again.
Pulling out some fresh things, I went to the bathroom and got dressed again, then tied my hair back.
I realized that this time I looked exactly how I felt: brokenhearted, even though the worst was still to come.
My brother was waiting for me at the door, now wearing jeans and a shirt he must have gotten from dad’s closet.
We rode the elevator down in silence. Raymond was parked out front, and we got in.
I did my best not to give anything away, but Lincoln hardly noticed me anyway—he was checking his messages and emails, while I clutched my phone tightly, knowing I was going to have to make that awful call as soon as possible.
My brother’s phone rang, and he picked up. “Yes? No, we’re heading there now. I have no idea what’ll happen; we’ll decide tomorrow. Okay, see you then.”
He exhaled so heavily that I put my hand on top of his. “It’s going to be okay,” I said, surprised at how steady my voice was. I really was a Weston, it seemed.
He looked at me curiously. “What do you mean?”
“The Winchester deal. You’re going to get the contract.”
“The Winchester deal is finished.” Lincoln shook his head. “There’s nothing more to be done.”
“No, it isn’t. I came to an agreement with Trish Coldwell. She’s going to pull out and leave it to you.”
He looked perplexed, but to his credit he didn’t tell me I was crazy. “You? How did you manage that?”
I took a deep breath, my resolve faltering. “There’s one thing she wants more than that deal. And I can give it to her.”
“And what’s that? There’s nothing more important to that woman than her own success.”
“Yes, there is. And it’s making sure her son isn’t dating a Weston.”
“Len…” Now it was Lincoln who pressed his hand to mine as he witnessed the exact moment my carefully constructed facade crumbled.
“You and Jessiah…?” There was no accusation in his voice, only dismay, and most of all, compassion.
He’d suspected what was going on between Jess and me, probably longer than I had myself.
And he’d already sacrificed so much that he knew what it meant for me to do the same.
I nodded. “Yeah. But I have to end it today. I’ve promised to stay away from him for good, if Trish steps back from the Winchester deal. And I’m going to keep my word.”
“Shit.” Lincoln shook his head. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was so serious between you two.” He could see it on my face now. He could see I’d found the one person I could have been with forever—and that I was going to lose him today.
“Me neither,” I replied, pressing a hand to my mouth. “I had no idea, before I turned up at his door last night.” At that moment, when Jess had taken me wordlessly into his arms, I’d known it. We were perfect for each other in every conceivable way. But fate had other plans for us.
A voice came over the intercom. “We’ve arrived at Mount Sinai,” said Raymond. But neither of us made to open the door.
“Does Jessiah know yet?” asked Lincoln.
“No. I was going to call him.” But as soon as I said it, I knew I couldn’t do it like that. No matter how hard it would be, I owed it to Jess to look him in the eye when I ended it. Even if I didn’t have the first idea how I was going to survive that conversation.
Lincoln seemed to read my thoughts. “Take the car over there now. I’ll tell Mom you’ll come by later.”
“Please don’t tell them anything, okay? I don’t want them to know what I’ve done. Not the deal, or… you know.”
“Of course not.” My brother leaned over and gave me a quick hug. “I’m here if you need anything. I hope you know that.”
I could only nod, and he got out of the car. Once he’d left, I pressed the intercom button. “Raymond? There’s something I have to do first. Could you take me to the West Village? Commerce Street.”
“Of course, Miss Helena.”
We were there in less than ten minutes—ten minutes in which I tried to come up with the words, until I realized there was nothing I could say that would make it any easier for Jess or me.
My mind was blank as I got out of the car and walked toward the apartment building—and the man—that just last night had been my refuge.
Now, not even twenty-four hours later, I was here to destroy it all. Him. Me. Everything between us.
I kept going. And going. Until I stood before his door. I never thought I could feel more angry, desperate, and dejected than I had last night. But now I did. And although every part of me wanted to scream with the agony and injustice of it all, I didn’t make a single sound.
I didn’t make a sound; instead, I raised my hand and knocked, keeping my side of the bargain that was going to save my family.