Chapter Eighteen Lorenzo
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lorenzo
I can’t stop replaying the conversation I had with Richard despite Lily’s best attempts to lighten the mood.
Thankfully the cooking class ends soon after the bathroom encounter, and Lily and I leave the space without speaking to one another.
She stays quiet as she climbs into my Ferrari, and I’m grateful for the silence.
I’m sorry for your loss , Richard said with a smile.
If I didn’t have a mayoral race to win, I would’ve punched him hard enough in the face to cause permanent damage. It’s the least he deserves after bringing up my parents.
I thought Trevor kept his dirty little DUI a secret between him and his father, but the Ludlows are a tight-knit family, so I’m not surprised that Richard knows all about what his brother did the night he decided to get behind the wheel and kill my parents in the process.
Hell, they probably used it as a learning lesson for Richard, reminding him why he shouldn’t drink and drive.
At least Richard didn’t comment on Lily, and for that I’m grateful because I’m not sure I would’ve taken that well. She had every right to get with whomever she wanted after what I did to her, but I don’t want to think about it ever again.
I don’t notice I’m fiddling with my father’s dice until one of them slips from my hand and falls in the narrow gap between my driver’s seat and the center console.
“Shit!”
Lily jumps in her seat and looks out the windshield. “What’s wrong?”
With one hand on the steering wheel, I reach into the gap but struggle to fit my fingers past the first knuckle.
“Do you need help?”
“No.” I grunt as I pull over to the side of the road.
With my phone’s flashlight, I locate the die, but I can’t reach it with the size of my hands.
I even get out of the car to try from a different angle, but the narrow space and lack of room behind the seat makes the task of retrieving the die impossible.
“Let me try.” Lily unbuckles her seat belt and walks around the car.
“I’ve got it.” I don’t want Lily to ask me questions about the dice or why I was fidgeting with them.
After another minute of watching me struggle, she places her hand on my shoulder. “Lorenzo?”
My jaw clenches as I pull myself out of the car.
“What am I looking for?” she asks before softly pushing me out of the way.
I help her with the flashlight. “See that die?”
“Oh yeah. Hold on.” She shimmies her body and lets out a grunt before she makes an excited noise.
“Did you get it?”
“Almost, but I dropped it.” Her voice is strained, but with one last push, she squeals. “Yes! Got it!”
She pulls her arm out from underneath the seat and stares at the die like she discovered an artifact. “ Moirai ? What does it mean?”
“None of your business.”
“Not the translation I was expecting for such a pretty word,” she replies dryly.
If you want her to trust you enough to open up about her reason for loathing the Ludlows, you’re off to a strong start.
I pluck the die from her palm and reunite it with the matching one in my pocket. I check to make sure they’re both there three times before I can exhale without feeling a weight pressing against my chest.
“Thank you,” I say before ushering her back to the passenger side.
“Are those from one of your family’s casinos?” she asks once I return to my spot behind the wheel.
My lack of a response pushes her to take matters into her own hands, and she pulls out her phone. There is no way to stop her from being curious, so I drive quietly while Lily searches the internet for the answer.
After a minute, my stomach drops when she asks, “Your father helped run the Moirai?”
I keep my eyes glued to the road. “Yes.”
Better .
“Is that why you had it torn down?”
“No.” I itch to touch the dice, but I stop myself. While I like to use them as a grounding tool and a coping mechanism, I don’t want it to become a compulsion. I already have enough of those to keep me busy.
“According to an article—”
“I wouldn’t trust everything you read because that particular journalist owed my uncle a lot of money in gambling debts.” The truth slips out easier than expected.
Her lips part twice before she speaks. “He asked them to write this story?”
I nod.
“Why would he do that?”
I take a deep, centering breath to prepare myself for her never-ending curiosity. “Because he knew everyone would assume I’m an asshole.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch the way her lips press firmly together. Seeing how she was quick to believe the worst only a few seconds ago, she knows I’m right.
The Moirai being torn down was the final straw for me, but at least something good came out of it—if you can even call him divulging the truth about my parents’ deaths that.
After that, I dug into the hit-and-run accident, and once I discovered what really happened, I sold my shares and got the hell out of Vegas. I had no plan outside of wanting to visit my parents’ graves.
When I learned about Trevor’s plan to run for mayor, I joined the race too. My uncle was spiteful about it, and he knew hurting my reputation would do wonders for my competition.
“I’m sorry,” Lily says quietly after a couple of minutes.
“What are you apologizing for?”
“For assuming the worst without thinking twice about it.”
I shrug. “It happens more often than you think.”
“That’s so sad.”
“I better not be hearing pity in your voice.” I don’t deserve it after all I’ve done and said to her.
She fakes a gasp. “Me? Pitying you ? I could never.”
My lips curl at the corners.
“But if I were to feel that way—”
I’d shoot her a sharp look if I wasn’t driving.
She continues, “It’s because at some point in your life, you learned to protect yourself by letting people think the worst of you. It was probably too easy to play the part of a villain, and I bet you became so comfortable with the role, you never expected anyone to question it.”
I pause at what she says and wonder how she got to that conclusion. People are quick to write me off as an uncaring asshole, and I’ve embraced the incorrect assumption. It was safer, because then no one—especially not my uncle—could exploit me.
“If you’re expecting me to agree with your psychological analysis, you’ll be waiting a long time.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t expect someone as defensive as you to come out and admit anything.”
“I’m not defensive.”
“Sure you’re not.” She laughs in a condescending way that grates on my nerves. “Do you ever get tired?”
I lean away despite not having anywhere to go. “Of what?”
“Pushing everyone away to keep up this false pretense. It must get pretty lonely.”
Her assessment of my life couldn’t be more wrong, but I don’t correct her. I don’t feel lonely because I prefer my company over others. It’s safer that way. More controlled .
Which is exactly her point.
I’m not lonely. I may have felt that way for a short while before I joined the Eros app and met Lily, but after that situation blew up in my face, I learned to prefer isolation again.
Learned? Or tricked yourself into believing you were better off without Lily?
I tap my fingers against the wheel. “I’ll answer that question when you tell me why you really agreed to this fake relationship.”
Her mouth opens, and she looks like she’s about to speak, only to press her lips together.
I shake my head. “You expect me to trust you, but you can’t do the same?”
“I didn’t have a problem trusting you before .”
I realize that if I want an answer to my question, I’m going to have to give one in return. It’s not like Lily hasn’t figured me out already, so I might as well get something out of this conversation.
“I don’t get lonely.”
She rolls her eyes. “You liar.”
“Just because you don’t agree doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
“Because there’s no way that’s possible. Everyone gets lonely.”
Not when you have endless worries to keep you company.
“I’ve learned to appreciate the quiet.” If you can even call it that.
“Then why would you join a dating app because you were bored?” She smirks.
“Boredom doesn’t equate to loneliness.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Why did you join the app?”
“The same reason that most people do.” She glances out the window, making it impossible to get a read on her expression without taking my eyes off the road.
“To fall in love?”
“That was the goal.” Her voice is tinged with sadness, making my chest uncomfortably burn.
“Then why waste your time on a fake relationship?”
She takes so long to answer me, I assume she won’t, but then she starts talking about the condemnation notice she received from the mayor’s office, Richard’s involvement in swaying the mayor toward Lavender Lane, and the NDA her mother signed.
By the end of her explanation, she is winded and looking over at me with eyes shiny from unshed tears.
“They can’t take Rose & Thorn away. I don’t care what people say about reopening it somewhere else—nothing can replace the emotional attachment I have to the shop and the memories I shared with my dad there. ”
I relate to that more than she will ever know. And while I may not have been able to save the Moirai, I can do this.
I have to.
I ignore the burning sensation. “We won’t let them.”
“You promise?” She sounds surprised, hopeful, and scared all at once.
I nod. “If I become mayor—”
“ When ,” she corrects.
I catch myself smiling. “When I become mayor, there’s no way I’d ever let something like that go through.”
She exhales loudly, and the tension in her shoulders bleeds out. “Thank you.” She reaches for my bicep and gives it a squeeze. “You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that.”
I miss her touch as soon as she pulls back.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this from the start?”
She chews on her bottom lip.
“What?” I ask when she doesn’t answer me.
“I didn’t trust you. I still don’t, but if this is going to work, we need to start learning to.”
“Right,” I reply, my throat constricted.
She peers over at me, and I can tell by the look on her face that I won’t like her next question. “Why are you running for mayor?”
The cabin of the car closes in around me. “I care about the town.”
“Okay, sure. I assumed as much with all the small businesses you help, but can’t you do that without going up against Ludlow?”
“I can do a lot more for everyone if I’m in charge.” I hope my answer pacifies her.
She shrugs. “Maybe. It just seems like you’re putting in a lot of effort for a town you just moved to.”
Panic grips me, but I breathe through my nose until I’m no longer at risk of revealing my motives.
Before our first meeting at Last Call, I trusted Lily with a few stories about my life, like when my uncle broke my nose, but I can’t tell her about my parents or the Ludlows. I won’t , even if the idea of sharing the burden with someone else is tempting.
Someone, or Lily?
Instead of exploring the thought, I deflect.
“I think I can do a better job than Trevor, so why not run against him? And now that I know about his Lavender Lane plan, we can use that to our advantage. Once people find out about their plan for the Historic District, they’ll have no choice but to switch sides. ”
She latches onto my arm, her fingernails digging into my skin hard enough to leave a temporary mark. “No. You can’t tell people about it without affecting my mom and anyone else who signed the NDA.”
Shit . I comb through all the information she shared. “You mentioned something before about architect plans?”
“Yeah. What about them?”
“Do you remember who drew them up?”
She taps her chin. “I don’t remember the name exactly. It was something like Morris and Holmes?”
“I’ll look into it.”
She pulls in a deep lungful of air. “Please don’t make me regret trusting you with this. The last thing my mom needs with her heart condition is a stressful legal battle.”
“Okay.”
Her relief is palpable. “Thank you.”
It’s quiet in the car for the duration of the drive to Lily’s house, and I’m relieved when I pull into her driveway. There is something about the silence that feels oppressive, and I have a strange urge to fill it with sound.
Particularly the sound of Lily’s voice.
When I first met her, I knew she could ruin everything I’ve worked toward up until this point.
She had this way of quieting my obsessive thoughts—of making me forget that I hate kissing or that I rarely like to drink because I don’t like losing even the slightest bit of control over myself.
She had me thinking, at least for a few seconds, about a future that wasn’t only about me.
A future that seemed promising, right up until I remembered that I wouldn’t only be worrying about myself but about her too—something that didn’t end well with my parents.
I already have enough to worry about when it comes to myself, so becoming obsessed with Lily is the last thing I need.
Even if she’s everything I want.