Chapter Twenty-Nine Lily
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Lily
M y sister and I have spent the last two hours searching for dresses, and while Dahlia has found seven different outfits already, including two dresses for the fundraiser dinner, I’ve struggled to find anything that feels like me.
When I slowly began switching my favorite outfits with new, less bold pieces, I said it wouldn’t be permanent. That I was only doing it temporarily while I sorted through my complicated feelings.
I justified it by saying I didn’t want to be vulnerable. That I didn’t want to express myself, whether it be with my words or through my clothes, and I most definitely didn’t want to draw anyone’s attention.
But was I really worried about other people, or was I more concerned about my skewed sense of self?
Because after my failed rebound post-Lorenzo, I’ll be honest: I didn’t like myself very much. I felt desperate to improve my self-esteem when I hopped into bed with someone else, and I was ashamed for hurting that same person when I realized my mistake—although Richard can fuck off now.
But maybe it’s time I forgave myself for the choices I’ve made.
Maybe it’s time to move on .
Because how can I expect other people to accept me, let alone appreciate me , if I can’t do the same?
The realization pushes me forward, and I’m reinvigorated as we head to another boutique on Dahlia’s list. The gown in the window steals my breath, and I come to a full stop in front of it.
I feel like it was made for me, with colorful pink flowers and green leaves embroidered into the gauzy baby-blue fabric. The corset features smaller flowers while the tulle skirt is covered with larger floral brocade, the shape flattering yet still offering enough coverage to make my mom happy.
“Okay, now that’s the look I was waiting for!” Dahlia drags me inside the boutique, where we are greeted with champagne glasses and a charming duo who are more than happy to remove the dress off the mannequin so I can try it on.
I’m ushered into a small dressing room and handed the dress while my sister sits right outside the door, sipping her champagne. The room has no mirror, so I can’t see how I look unless I leave the fitting room.
“There’s no price tag,” I announce while stepping into the designer dress.
“I’m sure Lorenzo won’t mind.”
I look down at the dress with a huff. I can’t help brushing my hand down the tulle skirt, hoping to find a single flaw to scare me away from buying it.
The intricate details are even better up close, and the colors appear much more vibrant, the baby-blue color looking different depending on which light I stand under.
I step out of the room, and my sister sucks in a breath. One of the salespeople rushes over to help me adjust the corset, and she turns me around so I face the mirror.
My reflection stares back at me, and it’s hard to hold my own gaze without getting emotional.
After spending so many months hiding—of disliking myself for mistakes I made and insecurities I couldn’t ignore—I’m hit with a strong sense of longing.
“Does it come in black?” Dahlia asks the associate, clearly poking fun at me.
“Uh. No,” she replies.
Dahlia fakes a pout. “Pity. My sister probably won’t buy it, then.”
I roll my eyes and head back inside the fitting room. Instead of taking the dress off right away, I snap a photo and send it to my mom before changing back into my clothes and walking over to the register.
When I open my wallet to grab my credit card, I find all of them missing except for a black one with Lorenzo’s name on it.
I’m too impressed by his slick move to be annoyed when I swipe his card through the machine. My cheeks hurt from how hard I’m smiling, and it isn’t only from the major hit to Lorenzo’s bank account.
It’s also because I leave the store feeling not like my old self but a better, more confident version.
And I truly couldn’t be happier.
Dahlia and I are being driven to the next shopping location on her list when a new text comes in.
LORENZO
Why is there only one charge on my card?
ME
Because I only bought one dress.
LORENZO
How? You’ve been shopping for hours.
ME
Counting down the hours until we’re reunited?
LORENZO
Impossible not to with Julian for company.
I laugh, making Dahlia glance up from her phone. “Is Lorenzo texting you?”
“Yes.”
“Has he said anything about spending time with Julian?”
“Not really.”
“I’m surprised they’ve lasted this long together without splitting up.”
I chuckle, only to be interrupted by a new text.
LORENZO
Julian says Dahlia has spent an impressive amount on his card.
ME
She has.
LORENZO
Did mine get lost at that one store?
ME
I can buy my own clothes.
LORENZO
Never said you couldn’t.
ME
Then why do you care?
LORENZO
It’s a bad look.
ME
How?
LORENZO
They already think I’m poor now that I’m no longer in the billionaire club.
I can’t help smiling to myself.
ME
What happened to not caring about billionaire pissing contests?
LORENZO
Turns out I’m not as evolved as I’d like to be.
ME
Did Julian bring out your inner caveman?
LORENZO
Yes. He’s lucky I haven’t challenged him to a death match.
ME
Don’t. My sister will never forgive you.
LORENZO
*sigh*
LORENZO
Fine.
ME
Thank you.
LORENZO
Show your gratitude by spending more of my money.
ME
Doubt I can make much of a dent in your bank account, but I’ll try my best.
LORENZO
Whatever car you pick tomorrow will make up for it.
The next morning, Lorenzo and I wake up early and go car shopping.
It takes us all day, but I finally walk out of the Mercedes dealership with an SUV that is a newer, bluer version of Lorenzo’s current one.
I feel guilty for having a little pep in my step after years of fighting against getting a new car, but it disappears as I hop into the driver’s seat.
Lorenzo lingers, not moving to close my door right away. Instead he props his arm against it and starts drilling me with questions I’d expect from a driver’s ed class.
“You are aware I know how to drive a car, right?”
He rolls his eyes. “Yes.”
“Then what’s with the twenty questions?”
“You haven’t had a new car in over a decade.”
“Worried I’m going to crash it on the first day?”
His face pales, and I’ve never felt so insensitive in my entire life.
His parents died in a car crash! I yell at myself.
I scramble to come up with a better reply. “I’ll drive below the speed limit. No, wait. I’ll go even slower than that, so you’ll have no choice but to leave me behind.”
His hold on the door tightens, drawing attention to the veins in his arms. If I wasn’t so distraught at the wild look in his eyes, I’d be going feral over his corded muscles.
Lorenzo takes a deep breath and reaches into his pocket. I expect him to keep his hand there, but he pulls out one Moirai die and holds it out for me to grab.
“Um, what am I supposed to do with that?” I stare at it, confused.
“Take it.”
I gawk instead. “But it’s yours.”
“I want you to hold on to one of them for me.” He curls my fingers into a fist before stepping away, taking a fragment of my heart with him.
“Are they lucky, by chance?” I joke, noticing the dark look in Lorenzo’s eyes after he takes another step back.
“Maybe to you.”
“In that case, I’m going to make a quick pit stop on the way home and buy a lottery ticket.”
“Make it two?”
“Deal,” I say with a smile.
His gaze lingers on my face for another moment before he heads back to his matching SUV.
I open my palm and stare at one half of his father’s dice set. With how much Lorenzo panicked when one of them fell between his seats, I’m surprised he was willing to break up the pair so easily.
The romantic in me wants to hyper-fixate on the hidden meaning behind his gesture, while the down-to-earth realist plans to ignore the excited current spreading through my body because I don’t need to get my hopes up.
He bought you a car, so consider those hopes no longer manageable.
It appears that my plan to have him realize he has feelings for me is going a bit too well, to the point where I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. There is no way Lorenzo will easily accept he cares about more than my safety—not when he pushed me away the first time because of exactly that.
But unlike last time, I’m ready to put up a fight because I know what I want, and it’s always been him .
We arrive in Lake Wisteria way after the sun sets, so I miss out on another Sunday lunch. Based on the Lopez-Munoz group chat, I’m expected to bring Lorenzo to the next one. No if s, and s, or but s about it.
Like always, the Kids’ Table group chat goes off with its own messages, but I don’t read any of them until I safely pull into my driveway and park my new SUV.
RAFA
I wish I could be there.
DAHLIA
No, you don’t.
I’m relieved that Rafa went to visit Ellie in Europe with her parents and Nico because that’s one less person I have to worry about.
ME
It’s the thought that counts.
JULIAN
If that’s the case, then I’ll *try* to be on my best behavior.
DAHLIA
I thought you two were best friends after Chicago.
JULIAN
Seeing as he’s still making me give a speech this weekend, no.
I laugh, only to jump in my seat at Lorenzo knocking on my window.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, winded from the scare.
“I wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
I open the door and step out of the car. “A text would’ve sufficed.”
His brows draw together, and I wonder if he considered that option.
“Here.” I retrieve the die from my pocket and hold it up for him to take.
He stares at it before shaking his head. “Hold on to it until we find out if we won the lottery or not.”
I fight a smile and fail as I tuck the die back into my pocket. “I’ll keep it safe.”
He nods, his Adam’s apple bobbing from his swallow. I’m tempted to stand on the tips of my toes and kiss it, but I hold back, instead brushing my hand down his chest. The way his breath catches feels like a reward and, even more so, a promise of what’s to come.