Chapter 4 #2
Jess leans forward. “Please stop me if I’m being too direct. I know I have that habit. But all I’ve heard you talk about so far is what other people think. What about you? What do you think? What do you want?”
Stacey’s back with our food, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. “Well, this Black Forest Cake, for starters.”
I can tell by Jess’s face she’s not letting me off the hook.
After a couple of bites, I can’t ignore her soul-penetrating stare any longer.
“I like Travis … I mean, I like him a lot, and that’s what scares me.
Because how can I compete with a girl like Selma Butterfield?
She’s probably a size zero and knows how to flirt and be seductive and all of the things I’ve never figured out. ”
“Please, you’re going to give ground to that bitch?” Jess shakes her head. I’ve often wondered how she deals with Logan’s past reputation and the way women flirt with him. But I can tell, she’s a force to be reckoned with. Again, I could use a dose of her attitude.
“Faith, possession is nine-tenths of the law in the courtroom and in matters of the heart. If Trav was interested in her, well, what would hold him back? We both know it wouldn’t be her.
But he isn’t interested in her. He likes you, and you should give him a chance.
Trust me. Underneath all the flash and assholeness is a decent guy.
Someone who risks his life regularly to save lives during wildfire season.
He’s a good catch, and I think you two could make each other happy.
Besides, he could use a girl like you, someone steady and stable who he can build a life with.
Selma Butterfield ain’t that.” Jess never says “ain’t” so the last two words stick out.
I take a swig of my beer, shaking my head.
“That’s another thing. How do you handle knowing about all of the crazy stuff Logan does as a search and rescue lead?
Doesn’t it scare you how risky his work is?
I mean, I had a tough enough time getting through last fire season as Travis’s friend.
I couldn’t imagine being his girl and going through that. ”
“Logan’s good at what he does and so is Travis.
Stop worrying so much and have more faith in him.
Besides, you’re getting ahead of yourself.
Why not start by having fun with Travis?
See where things go and keep it light?” Jess stops for a moment, and her eyes narrow, “Wait, you’re a virgin, aren’t you? ”
My face goes instantly red.
She nods. “Now, I get it, and I think you need this more than ever. Unless you’re one of those girls who believes you have to be married before sex? I mean, no judgment either way.”
“No, I don’t believe that even though the elders at church would have a conniption fit if they heard me say that.”
“Okay, you’re back to fixating on what others think.
Stop that. Focus on what you want and what you believe instead.
Personally, I could never buy into the idea that a woman’s value rests solely on the diameter of her vagina.
I mean, yes, I can see the value in not becoming a 304 like Selma.
But you’re a grown-ass woman capable of making your own decisions and going after the man you want. ”
“I may have missed that window. He’s stopped coming around since the kiss, I mean apart from helping with unloading. But he’s not flirting with me anymore or asking me out. Maybe it’s too late.”
She smiles like the cat’s got her tongue.
“For a twenty four year old, you do a lot of worrying and not enough thinking about what you want. Just have fun and go get him. See what happens. If it doesn’t work out, you still have a friend …
maybe with benefits. And if it does work out?
Thank me later. But you may have to make the next move, Faith.
I know Trav comes off as confident, but his ego’s more fragile than you realize.
I imagine that’s doubly true when he ’s really in to someone.
But you’ll figure it out. Now let’s eat cake. ”
I slice off a bite of chocolate cherry goodness with my fork and let it melt in my mouth. “Fuck, that’s good.”
“Did you just say ‘fuck,’ Faith?” Jess’s jaw hits the floor.
I cover my mouth with my hand. “I did. Didn’t I? Between hanging out with Trav and Birdie, I’m developing a gutter mouth.”
“A little gutter mouth never hurt anybody,” she finishes with a smile diving into a big bite of Apple Spice Crumb Cake. Letting her eyes roll back in her head, a satisfied smile crosses her face. “Fuck is right, girlfriend!”
We scarf our cake slices in silence, which tells you just how good they taste. Finally, Jess says, pointing her fork at me, “I know exactly what you need.”
“What’s that?”
“A makeover.”
“A makeover?” I look down at my jeans and T-shirt and my cheeks burn as I compare my appearance to Jess’s siren vibe. Nevertheless, I’m not sold on the idea.
“Yeah, when’s the next time Trav is coming to help out at the feed store?”
“This Friday.”
Jess cracks an ear-to-ear smile. “Fantastic!”
“But I can’t go around wearing dresses at the feed store. I mean, it’s totally non-functional and would be very obvious to Travis.”
She cocks her head to the side. “I think after what you just told me, you need to go out on a limb and be very obvious. But I get it. A new top and tight-fitting jeans will do you wonders and so will some makeup and curling your hair. Is there anyway you could rearrange this week’s delivery so you and Travis can go out together instead of having to work? ”
I stare at the ceiling for a moment, my heart racing at the thought of her plan and how vulnerable it would make me feel.
But I can’t risk losing Travis, and I miss him so much.
The thought of being with him again, kissing him again puts a tight knot of desire in my throat.
“Yes, I could rearrange the time for a morning delivery, I guess. If I get a driver who’s willing to help unload, it should be fine. ”
Jess swats the air dismissively. “I have plenty of brothers-in-law who can help you out now and so can Logan, if he’s not called out for search and rescue work.”
I clutch my chest, feeling my heart pound against my ribs. “I don’t think I can do this. I’m not pretty like Birdie, Selma, or you.”
Jess shakes her head, anger flashing across her face.
“I don’t know where you got that idea from, but it couldn’t be more wrong.
You’ve got one of the most eligible bachelors in Hollister all over you.
Girls around here would literally get in cat fights for him.
Between the way I’ve seen him talk about you and what you just told me, he’s all yours.
It’s time to go get what you want instead of worrying about what other people think.
This is about you and Trav and nobody else. Are you in?”
I nod, smiling tentatively.