Chapter Thirteen
S elah drove the short distance to her townhome with tiny bubbles in her chest. These bubbles must have traveled upward, like carbonation, because the corners of her mouth wouldn’t stop lifting of their own accord. She chewed on the edge of one of her nails to stop her lips from pulling into a smile, but it was of no use.
Oh, come on , she told herself.
She tried to make an argument that, by most people’s standards, the kiss wasn’t close to being the hottest one on record. There wasn’t any tongue involved or heavy petting. She did nothing more than grab and plant one on him.
Remembering his shocked expression, she smiled again. In her defense, if he was going to keep looking at her with that particular heat in his eyes, one which said he wanted to claim her right there beside her truck—Well, she couldn’t be responsible for the action she was forced to take to break the tension. Yes, true, there was no tongue, but she had felt that kiss everywhere. Everywhere. Her soul was so light, she might not need a balloon to get in the air anymore.
One moment, Selah was telling herself she had too much self-respect to be anyone’s rebound, even for a cute park ranger. In the next, she decided self-respect was an overrated quality. If she had any, she wouldn’t be sitting in her truck at this moment, chewing on her nails to keep from grinning like a loon.
Why shouldn’t I kiss him? she asked, while slipping her key into the lock of the townhome’s back door, quietly letting herself in so not to disturb her sister. She merely wanted to float upstairs to her bedroom to daydream a little—
She gasped after turning on the hallway bathroom light and— Holy hell! She was a messy, gross disaster with puffy eyes and blotchy skin. It was not the appearance of one who should be throwing herself into anyone’s arms and confidently giving kisses. No wonder he was surprised. Perhaps he wasn’t besotted with her lips as much as horrified because, again, holy shit . As a friend, he should understand why she’d never be able to see him again after this.
“God, Selah. What’s wrong?” Her sister must have heard her strangled gasp because she appeared beside her.
“Nothing.” Selah closed the bathroom door for privacy.
“That’s not going to work. I’m going to stand right here until you come out,” Naomi said from the hallway.
“There’s nothing wrong. I have to pee. Are you going to stand there and listen to me pee?”
“Yes, because you don’t look good, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m okay. I just went to a friend’s house and the movie we watched made me cry.” Technically, it was the truth.
“What friend? You never go to any friend’s house. And since when do you ever cry over movies?”
“Why does everyone think I’m some kind of unfeeling robot?” She definitely wasn’t a robot because if she were, Selah would have been able to keep a secure lid on her emotions. Except it wasn’t a small prick this time, and she could, usually, prepare herself. She’d gotten good at knowing when there might be things that could trigger the pricks in her life. To the point where she thought she had total control and could be a human pincushion, no problem. She could be a rock nonstop.
Tonight, though, had been different. It wasn’t a prick as much as it had been a surprise stab to the gut. All it took was that first few opening scenes of Galaxy Quest and the lid on her emotions hadn’t simply come off—the whole thing had tipped over and everything spilled in a full containment breach. Doing a puzzle at Dex’s place was not the time nor the place for her to be hit with an emotional tidal wave, one she wasn’t able to stop.
He’d been sweet and gentle, even without an extensive explanation from her. Selah didn’t know how to reveal that this sudden outburst was a result of nothing more than a silly movie.
So, yeah, she was clearly mentally confused and out of control. It was no wonder she kissed him, for the last and final time. Selah should have used tongue while she had the opportunity. If a closed-mouth kiss was hot, she had no doubt that an open mouth one with tongue would have melted her bones down to their marrow.
Of course, she wasn’t going to explain all this to her sister, the romantic one in the group. She’d, no doubt, try to talk her into something ridiculous like making out with Dex, and Selah was much too fragile to risk it.
It was quiet outside the door. Maybe Naomi took the hint, leaving Selah in peace. She washed her hands and dabbed some cool water on her eyelids as if this might magically transform them into a normal appearance.
When she opened the door, her sister hadn’t budged, leaning against the wall. “I’m sorry,” she said in a sincere tone.
Selah shrugged, moving past her. “Why? What do you have to be sorry about?”
“I don’t want you to believe that I think you’re an unfeeling robot. I don’t think that. And what Hailey said today wasn’t fair. He was your dad as much as ours. She doesn’t believe that, either, but I think she’s seriously bothered that Dad... well, that his ashes aren’t being respected, and she doesn’t know how to talk to Mom about it, so I think sometimes she finds it easier if she takes out her frustrations on you.”
The pinpricks of heated tears had returned again to her eyes, which was annoying when she thought she’d cried them all out earlier in the evening. Whether what Naomi said was true or not, it didn’t matter at this moment. Selah didn’t have the energy to take it. She sighed. “It’s been a very long day and I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
“Did you at least have fun at your friend’s, even though the movie made you cry?”
“Yes.” Thankfully, her sister didn’t ask the name of the movie. Otherwise, it would have given the whole game away. Selah hadn’t lied. She did have a good time at Dex’s. Yeah, the whole emotional breakdown part sucked, but the rest of it was nice. It was those moments she held onto as she lay in bed that night.
The next morning, Selah was in the office going over finances when her mom brought her homemade breakfast bars and coffee. “What’s all this for?”
“I just wanted to see mi roca and bring you breakfast. I’m trying a new recipe with the fresh peaches I got from your auntie. You work so hard, mija.” Her mother brushed back some of Selah’s hair. “Also, I need to apologize.”
Selah gave her mother an odd look. “What do you need to apologize for?” As far as she was concerned, there was too much apologizing going on, except from the one person who needed to.
“So, yesterday, there was a call from Bria, a reporter at the Bend news station, and I forgot to give it to you. I put the Post-it with the number and her email right there.”
Selah picked it up while taking a bite of food. “It’s not a big deal.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to talk to the news organization, anyway.
“I know, but it could be very important for the business, and I should have been more on top of it.”
Selah set down the Post-it, turning her chair to face Elena. “It’s not even your responsibility. You and I both know that Hailey’s supposed to be taking calls and emails and, as usual, you’re picking up the slack for her. That’s not fair to you.”
“I think you should talk to her. She was crying a lot yesterday after you left.”
Selah did her best not to roll her eyes. She was crying? There was a part of Selah who could understand Hailey’s frustration in regard to their father’s urn, because talking to their mother about that stuff wasn’t easy when Elena did her best to avoid such conversations. It had taken Selah two months to get her to agree to let their father’s cell service drop to save money and, even then, there’d been a lot of tears. But, despite Selah having sympathy in this area, it didn’t excuse her sister’s other actions. Hailey was the one who purposely created the gossip surrounding her and Dex.
“You know what, Mom? I really don’t have time to baby her. She’s twenty-three years old. If, at this stage of the game, she needs to hear it from me that maybe she should treat people with a little more respect and take some responsibility in her life, then I don’t know what to say. We’re all here doing stuff, and yet, I’m supposed to stop working to make her feel better? You weren’t there. You didn’t see the video and you didn’t hear what she said.”
“You know your sister means well and she loves you.”
“Yeah, well, right now, I don’t care,” Selah said as she wrote down a note to herself.
“Don’t say that!” Elena cried, instantly becoming weepy. “You all need to love each other. And you do. You do love each other. Your dad would want you to work together and to love each other. You’re their older sister, our Selah, our rock. They’re not like you. Hailey is just doing the best she can.”
Except, at the moment, Selah didn’t feel like the rock everyone wanted her to be. She was more like aging, crumbling concrete. Last night was proof that she was full of pits and not structurally sound enough for everyone to lean against.
“I’m also doing the best I can and, right now, I can’t talk to her. She needs to grow up, just like I’ve had to do.” Selah had a lot more to say, but she couldn’t say it without making Elena more upset. Instead, she pushed everything down and focused on work.
After her mom left and she was alone, Selah called the number from the Post-it. “I appreciate you giving us a call back. We’ve already been talking with Dex Westerly, your...?” Bria from KTVZ didn’t finish the sentence, prompting Selah to do so instead.
“Uh. Friend?” She wasn’t sure which direction the woman was trying to push her, but this was the best way to describe their relationship, even with one quick kiss in the books.
“Yes, sure, of course. Anyway, we’re planning on sending a crew to do an interview and get some footage for a piece we’re planning to air this coming week. I think... yes, Clint and I are coming to Smith Rock tomorrow and thought it would also be nice, since your business is so close to the park, if we can swing by afterwards to talk with you as well.”
“But this story is about Dex’s rehabilitation center, right? Not that I wouldn’t love to have our business in the news, but I’m confused about what I’m going to contribute—”
“This is simply one of our human-interest pieces for a special segment we’ve been doing called Stories from the Heart of Central Oregon . You worked with him on an event recently, correct?”
“Yes, but depending on what you want to know, my sister Naomi might be a better person for you to talk to.”
“Is that your younger sister? The one with the Loop account?”
Selah scrunched her features, her suspicions beginning to take root. “She’s one of my younger sisters, but no, that’s Hailey and, um, I just want to again mention that Dex and I are just friends. My sister can be a little—”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute,” she said to someone else on her end before continuing with, “Yes, yes, of course. I understand perfectly. We’re hoping to get some B-roll with your balloon. Are you doing any tours this week?”
Selah informed her there was one tomorrow, but she flew early in the morning. Before she knew what was happening, she was booked for an interview soon afterward and Dex would be there too... which sort of threw a wrench into her whole plan of never seeing him again.
*
Selah tried her best not to show any anxiousness on her tour the next morning. It was a calm, uneventful flight, but she was as nervous about seeing Dex as she was seeing the news van with the letters KTVZ parked beside her mother’s vehicle when approaching the landing spot.
There was a man with a camera on his shoulder, completely focused on her and The Blue Wonder and... What if she tipped the basket over for the whole world to see? If this were to happen, she’d never be able to pilot anything again, let alone a hot-air balloon, due to humiliation and what people would see as incompetence. It’s not like she’d get a reshoot.
Dex also made her nervous. He’d sent a text yesterday with a picture of his crow, reading,
Harper and I are wondering how you’re doing this morning?
Sure, it wasn’t I couldn’t stop thinking about you and your lips since last night . This was probably a good thing, since Selah wouldn’t have known how to react to something like that. Instead, he and Harper were being nice because he was a sweet guy and wanted to make sure she wasn’t an inconsolable puddle on the floor. She’d replied with an emotionless thumbs-up emoji, which had to be confusing, but she was still in the process of packing herself up again.
Her reflection in the mirror when she came home that night was burned in her memory. This morning, she rose earlier than normal and did her makeup. Not full nightclub face, but somewhere between being barefaced and looking “natural,” but with makeup. Hopefully, no one would notice her obvious effort when she was simply trying to avoid appearing exhausted.
“Oh, good, you did your makeup,” was the first thing her mother had said that morning.
“No. Yes. Just a little. I’m going to be on the news, for frick’s sake. I had dark circles under my eyes.”
“Well, you look very pretty today,” her mom had assured her. “They’re going to love you, and your dad would be so proud of you flying his balloon on the news.”
Except it was one thing to look pretty before a flight and quite another thing afterwards. Selah did her tour with the sun beating down on her and the wind whipping hair into her face and, also, forgetting and rubbing her eyes. She got tired of it, putting on her regular baseball hat and aviator sunglasses. In the end, she got up early for nothing.
As she and The Blue Wonder approached closer to the landing spot, she sucked in a steadying breath, begging the universe to please give her a perfect landing with no tipping. The camera lens was an unflinching witness. When she saw Dex, her heart skipped. He peered upward as the balloon approached but, while most people focused on the envelope, he looked directly at her. He had a huge smile on his face, as though thrilled to see her, raising a hand and doing a small subtle salute in greeting. Her heart continued skipping, her nervousness washing away at the sight of it.
To her relief, the balloon cooperated, landing perfectly. Naomi and Boone went to work securing and tethering the balloon as they had previously agreed, so the camera could get a few shots of it on the ground for B-roll.
Dex strolled straight to the gondola as though he were part of the team. He helped the passengers disembark as they climbed from the basket, chatting with them like he was the hot-air balloon flight attendant.
When the passengers left to get into her mom’s van, it was just the two of them, besides Boone and Naomi, who were still tethering. But she could tune out their activity, and even the camera crew. It felt like only the two of them.
“Hey, Pilot,” Dex said as he gripped the edge of the gondola from where he stood outside of it.
“Hey, Ranger,” she replied, her lips again being uncontrollable as they pulled into a smile.
He held out a hand. “Can I help you disembark?”
“Actually, do we think we can get Dex inside the basket as well? I think it would make for a nice visual for us to use. Is that okay?” This was yelled by a woman with wild red hair standing beside the cameraman. She then waved to Selah. “Hi. I’m Bria.”
“Hi there.” It served as a reminder this wasn’t a nice moment between her and Dex. He was here for a reason and, apparently, they were also being directed, which was weird. They shared an amused expression at the ridiculousness of it all. After shrugging, Dex climbed into the gondola, this time with Selah assisting him. While it was probably safer to have a wicker wall between them, she liked having him on the same side and—
“Can you remove your sunglasses and hat? There’s too much shadow and we can’t see your pretty face, Selah!” Bria yelled from twenty yards away. “Can you two just chat with each other for a minute while we get this?”
With a sigh, Selah did as she was told, tossing the items onto the gondola floor and doing her best to fluff her hair, hoping she didn’t look too awful.
“Having an eventful day so far?” she asked Dex in the hopes of keeping the mood light and casual.
“It’s definitely improving.”
“It has to be better than the last time you were in my basket.” As soon as it left her mouth, she froze, biting her bottom lip. Reminding him of that awful day must make her as bad as Hailey. “I... what I meant—when the basket tipped over and...” she stumbled, trying to save the situation.
“Selah, it’s fine. And, yes, so far, it’s much better than the last time.” One of his fingers did the softest glide against the outside of her hand, so light it could have come from a breeze. Her gaze dropped to the movement before lifting again to his face. There was no way the camera or the people outside the basket would observe any of this, as their hands were below the top of the gondola. But she knew. Her heart took the biggest, sweetest breath, one that could fill her whole chest cavity, one she usually only took when she was high in the air, where she belonged. This didn’t usually happen when she was still on the ground.
She adjusted her hand closer, leaning into the touch. Selah turned her attention toward the camera as though nothing was happening at all, not in the basket and not in her heart.
“Of course, I suppose it is possible for you to tip the basket again, but this time I get to be on top,” Dex said.
A loud laugh burst from her, probably ruining Bria’s B-roll take.
Whatever. She didn’t care.