Chapter Twenty-Three
“Y ou doing okay?” Jon asked. Dex stood beside a fence post as the audio guy fitted him with a wireless lavalier mic on the button placket of his shirt.
“Fine,” Dex responded, regretting he’d agreed to move forward with this interview with Wake Up, USA , especially since he’d be doing it alone. He’d asked Jon to show up for emotional support but, so far, all his coworker had done was ask him annoying questions like What happened to Selah? and Why is Harper being an asshole this morning?
The answer to both of these questions was the same— I don’t know . Both Selah and Harper were a mystery to him, and he was mad at both. In Selah’s case, it was because he’d given his heart to a woman who didn’t want it. And Harper? For some unknown crow reason, she was annoyed with him and wouldn’t stop pecking and pulling at his clothes, skin, and arm hair. If he were to guess, it would be because she wanted to do her own thing while Dex forced her to stay on his arm with a bird lead attached.
It didn’t help they’d been made to wait around forever because they’d shown up for a morning segment on East coast time, only for it to get pushed back an hour. They still had another forty minutes to go.
“You don’t look fine.” Concern was etched on Jon’s face.
“I’m fine. I’m going to go on, talk about Harper and the rehabilitation center, and that’s it.” He didn’t want to talk about Ava or Selah or anything else about his personal life. His life wasn’t for the entertainment of others. He wasn’t some chess piece someone could manipulate around a board for their own amusement.
Harper cawed loudly and pulled again at his sleeve hemline, nipping painfully on his arm in the process. “Okay, fine. You wanna leave. Go ahead. Leave.” He unwrapped the small lead, detaching the bird, and Harper immediately flew away. Well, fine, now he didn’t have Harper to do the interview with either. It would only be him.
The guy behind the camera exchanged a glance with the audio guy before saying, “Um. That bird knows to come back before seven, right?”
Dex shrugged, not caring about the situation anymore. The whole interview felt like a mistake. He wasn’t sure if he should cancel or find a way to stumble through it.
“Dex?” Jon said.
“I’m fine. Really. Harper isn’t a pet. If she wants to go, then she can go. I don’t care. She can do whatever she wants. She’s probably happier being free of me, anyway.”
Jon motioned with his hands for Dex to calm down. “It’s going to be okay. I’m sure she just needs some space. It’s okay to step back and really think things over, you know.”
“Yeah, okay,” Dex agreed, but the ball of anxiety in his gut unraveled. “But what am I supposed to do in the meantime? I feel like I finally found someone who really got me, where I could just be my weird self, and it didn’t matter. And I thought she felt the same way. I’m just tired of being wrong all the time.”
The cameraman and audio guy exchanged looks again. The audio guy then busily fiddled with his equipment, but under his breath, he said, “Man, that must be some crow.”
“Yeah, and maybe you’re not wrong. Maybe it’s just complicated,” Jon said.
Dex wasn’t sure if he believed him. Maybe Selah did love him, but it was hard to see everything when he was so hurt and she never said anything. All this time, he thought he wanted something big and messy and complicated, but now he wasn’t so sure.
His fellow ranger continued. “Hey, isn’t that Selah’s sister?” He pointed in the direction of a wooden picnic table not too far off in the distance, where the young woman sat on the table with her feet on the wooden bench seat, watching them.
While he sometimes searched the early morning horizons for any sign of a blue hot-air balloon, this sight was an unexpected one. “How long do I have until the interview?” he asked the crew.
The cameraman glanced at his smartwatch. “’Bout twenty-eight minutes.”
“Okay, give me a minute.”
He shoved his hands in his pocket as he strolled to the picnic table, but not before he heard the cameraman say to someone, “He’s coming back before seven, right?”
When Hailey noticed him approaching, she appeared somewhat sheepish, but gave him a small smile. “Hi.”
“A little early, isn’t it?” Hikers at this hour weren’t unusual for the park, as they opened at dawn, but Hailey didn’t give the impression she was there for hiking.
She pulled a stray curl that had swept across her cheek. “Yeah, I’m... trying to get myself in the habit of waking up early. So far, I hate it. My dad was an early riser, you know. Selah’s the same way. You think that’s something that a person can change about themselves?”
“Sure, I don’t think it’s a personality trait set in stone.” He hadn’t been a morning person, either, in his youth, but with his job sometimes requiring an early start, he saw the appeal of doing things while most of the rest of the world remained in their beds. There was something peaceful about it.
Dex took a seat beside her on the picnic table. He wasn’t sure why she was here, but he was interested in what she had to say. He wondered if this might be the closest he could get to figuring out Selah’s brain, as though her sister might offer him a few crumbs and he could snatch them up for later study.
“You’re getting ready for your interview?”
“Yeah, in a little bit, with Wake Up, USA .”
“I heard about that. My mom loves that show.”
“You wanna do the interview with me? You are the expert at this sort of thing.”
She snorted a delicate laugh. “Oh no. I’m not risking getting into more trouble with my sister. It’s already hard enough to not screw up things. I just stopped by because... I was hoping to talk to you. But I didn’t know when you were in the park, and, I don’t know, I just came here on a whim.” Hailey scratched at the surface of the picnic table with a fingernail.
“Well, I’m glad you found me. I like talking to you.” He gave her a friendly smile in return.
Her brow lifted in surprise. “You do?” She scooted closer, looping her arm through his and resting her head against his shoulder, as though they were old pals. Dex wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to such a touchy-feely family as the Morenos, but he wanted to.
“You know, my dad was a really great guy. He was a little stubborn and sometimes goofy, but also calm and patient, and he loved flying that damn balloon so much. I didn’t always appreciate it, not like Selah did. She’s a lot like him. The ironic thing is that he was her stepdad. Or maybe it isn’t ironic at all. Maybe she realized before all of us that there are some guys out there who aren’t so great, and he was one of the good ones. He adored my mom. Oh my God, sometimes it was so cringe.” She laughed lightly to herself.
“But even though my dad was a pretty happy guy for the most part, there were some disappointments in his life. Selah, I think, saw it more than any of us. And I wonder if because he loved her most when he didn’t have to, she feels some kind of an obligation to him.” She raised his gaze to him, her light-brown eyes sincere and serious, as though she was trying to push some kind of understanding onto him.
While Dex understood this was some kind of insight into the woman he’d given his heart to, he didn’t understand what hint he was supposed to be receiving. Was Hailey warning him to give up? That Selah had no room in her life other than her obligation to her dad? Or that he should keep trying? He opened his mouth to ask some kind of question, but was interrupted.
“Dex!” the cameraman called to him. “Ten minutes.” The man held up both hands in the air with all ten fingers splayed to reinforce the information.
Hailey released him. “You better go. It’s almost time for your close-up.”
“You gonna stick around?” He was hoping she’d say yes so he could talk to her about Selah further.
“Eh, I think I better head home. My mom and I will watch it together.”
“Oh. Okay. You have a good day then. Say hi to your mom for me.” It might be weird he didn’t pass along a message to Selah, but “hi” seemed insufficient after all they’d been through. He wasn’t sure he was ready to be at this level of casualness yet. Instead, he made his way toward the production crew.
“Hey, Dex!” Hailey called to him. She stood on the wooden bench seat, appearing ten feet tall. Her voice carried over the quietness of the area.
He turned, walking backwards, as he waited for her to finish, holding a hand to his ear.
“You didn’t listen to what I told you the last time. Remember, I told you that Selah will fight to convince you that she feels differently than how she feels. Turns out she may even look indifferent. But then we’re all still a little screwed up.”
Dex didn’t know how to reply to this and simply waved goodbye before turning toward his destination.
“Everything okay?” Jon asked.
“Yeah, fine.” But Dex wasn’t sure if it was fine or what fine looked like. His mind was diving deeply into Hailey’s words and what they meant, especially what it all meant for him and Selah. He barely paid attention to anything else, only to be slammed into focus when a voice popped in his earpiece, some kind of introduction, and then he was scrambling as he stared into the camera like a deer in headlights.
“Hello, Dex? Can you hear us?” the voice came again.
The cameraman made a circular motion with his finger over the camera in a signal for Dex to say something. Jon placed a hand over his mouth in an expression of worry.
“Uh, yes. Sorry. Yes, I can, uh, hear you.” The words stumbled from his mouth.
“Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself? How long have you been a ranger, and for which park?”
“Um, okay. Well, I’ve...” He cleared his dry throat, wishing he’d used his time more wisely and drank some water. “I’ve been a park ranger for...” His mind was so full of Hailey’s words, he blanked on everything else. “Uh, Jon, how long have I been a park ranger for?”
His friend dropped his head, covering his eyes.
“Oh, uh, I don’t know, years, I guess. I’ve been working here at Smith Rock in Central Oregon for a couple of years now. We’re known for being the birthplace of sports climbing, but hikers from everywhere come to appreciate our beautiful landscape.” Dex stiffly swept an arm toward the picture-perfect scenery behind him.
Harper glided into the frame, landing on his outstretched arm like a preplanned trick. He tried to not appear shocked, as though he’d expected this, even while gasps came through his earpiece at her sudden appearance. With the crow returning, his comfort in the situation shifted into something easier. “This is Harper. She’s a typical American crow, not to be confused with a raven. The shape of the tail is different between the two birds. Although, she’s also quite intelligent. She was rescued and rehabilitated less than a year ago, and we’re hoping we can get enough donations to start our own rehabilitation center here at the park.”
“Is there something in her mouth... uh, beak?” one of the women interviewers asked him.
This was an easy spiel for him, having said it several times before. “Sometimes, when crows love you, they will bring you gifts. Trinkets.” He opened his hand and Harper dropped a bead. He held it to the camera to show it off. It was bright blue, the same shade of The Blue Wonder, and he thought about Selah again and—
It hit him.
Selah was always bringing him things. Dinner, marionberries, that hedgehog sticker plastered on his phone case. Her sister, Hailey, had given him the biggest nudge of all. Selah was not indifferent, had never been indifferent. She’d loved her dad with everything, had grieved for him, but most of the time, people would never know because she’d kept herself buttoned-up. The few times one of those buttons came loose, she’d fallen apart. And now she was doing the same thing to him. It had to mean she felt more than she could allow herself to say.
And, yes, it was messy. He finally understood that in getting involved with her, it wasn’t just her, but her whole family. And things could get complicated, especially when the Morenos were still struggling with loss. But the good side of this family, the things that shined through in spite of the darkness, was the very thing he’d always wanted in his life. If he loved her, he would have to accept all the different sides. Something told him it would be worth it.
“Dex? Hello, Dex? Have we lost you?”
“No. Sorry. I just lost my train of thought for a minute.” He tried to focus.
“Now you’ve recently received a lot of attention because of a certain partnership with a local hot-air balloon business. But this wasn’t just a simple collaboration, was it? We’re told there’s an interesting story behind it all. Can you tell us a little bit about that?”
He grew wary, but tried not to show it. “Well, I, uh, booked a hot-air balloon ride for me and my girlfriend at the time, and that’s when I met Captain Moreno.” He smiled at the camera as he emphasized the title. If she was watching, he wasn’t going to let her return to being “just” anything. “She’s the hot-air balloon pilot at High Desert Tours and, though the proposal I planned for my ex-girlfriend didn’t end as expected, Selah and I became really close. I guess you can say her friendship fell into my lap, literally—”
“So you broke up with your girlfriend and are now with the pilot, who was flying the hot-air balloon?”
God, these people were nosy.
But, in a moment of inspiration, he decided to switch tactics and use it to his advantage. Because maybe he’d only have one shot to fight for her, to show he saw right through her indifference, and he didn’t believe it.