Chapter Thirteen
Hollie
‘Hey, Hollie, there’s a guy at the front entrance holding some flowers and asking for you.’
In my pink candy striper uniform, I hear my coworker’s words and a fizz of excitement goes through me.
I’ve tried hard to stop daydreaming about AJ Callahan for a whole month since he said goodbye to me in Roswell, and the idea that he might have turned up at the door to Sunset Pines Nursing Home to see me with flowers in his hand thrills me to my soul.
Except my brain knows it isn’t him. There are only two men in my life who would make such a gesture, and one of them lives in England. Owen has sent me more poetry via email, though I’ve turned down his entreaties to talk.
I make my way to the entrance hallway. ‘Hello,’ I say to Dad with a smile. He stands with a goofy grin on his face and a bouquet of red and pink roses in his hand.
‘Thought I could take you out to lunch,’ he says.
I lean in for a brief hug. ‘You didn’t have to bring me flowers.’
‘I’ve barely seen you lately. Thought it might be nice.’
I take the roses and press my nose into the petals. ‘They smell amazing. Thank you.’
‘Think you can spare half an hour?’
‘Should be fine,’ I say. ‘Let me just go and put these in a vase.’
I go to the kitchen. If there is one thing Sunset Pines is not short of, it’s vases.
I’m filling one with water when one of the nurses, Nabila, enters with Aubri, who works on the reception desk.
I’ve never seen Aubri without gum in her mouth, and her voice is always husky.
She’s not known for being animated. Nabila is around my age.
My back is facing them, but this kitchen is miniscule, so it’s impossible not to overhear their conversation.
‘Honestly, it can get pretty wild out there,’ Aubri is saying.
Nabila bends over and searches in the fridge for something. ‘I heard they banned country music, is that true?’
‘Oh yeah,’ Aubri sighs. ‘It’s literally all rock and metal. That’s the vibe. Bikers, not cowboys.’
‘And there’s like… college seniors that go?’
‘Oh yeah. Hot ones. Everybody’s going now.’
I straighten my back a little.
‘Aw, who got flowers?’ Nabila asks me, clutching a plastic container she’s retrieved from the fridge.
I blush, because I’m not a resident here. ‘I did. My, uh, dad got them for me.’
‘Oh my gosh, your dad, that’s so cute,’ Aubri says.
‘What are you guys talking about?’ I ask casually.
Nabila’s eyes go wide when she says, ‘Friday nights at Scotch & Smoke. It’s a bar, out in Rapture. You ever been to Rapture?’
‘Uh, just once. A while ago.’
She puts down her plastic container. ‘So, Friday nights. Scotch & Smoke is blowing up. Everybody’s headed out there for a good time.’
‘They are?’ I ask innocently.
‘But you gotta have the wristband,’ Aubri says. ‘Or they won’t let you in. It’s gotten so popular, they had to start a system. We got ours yesterday.’
‘You wanna come with?’ Nabila asks me.
I blink at her. I don’t know if she remembers who my stepmother is – it’s not something I broadcast on a regular basis – and I can’t even begin to explain why I was there a month ago and got kicked out by Echo Salinger. There is no way he would have me back.
‘You should come!’ Nabila exclaims.
‘You should definitely come,’ Aubri states in her monotone. ‘It’s, like, a total blast.’
‘I don’t know,’ I say.
‘Come!’ Nabila urges me. ‘Although you gotta get a wristband. How would she get a wristband?’
She’s looking at Aubri. ‘Guess you’d have to head over there. See if they’ve got any left. Worth a try, I guess, but I’ve heard they all get snapped up in, like, an hour these days.’ Aubri shrugs her shoulders. ‘College kids.’
‘Okay,’ I say, picking up my vase of flowers. ‘I have to go to lunch with my dad now. But maybe I’ll see if I can get one.’
I find a place to put my roses then quickly change my top. When I get back, Dad’s standing with his hands behind his back and reading the activities board.
‘Seems like there’s plenty for everybody to do,’ he comments.
‘There’s a lot,’ I tell him. ‘But it’s a shame the yard isn’t in a better state. They could all go out a bit more. And some of the rooms are in desperate need of maintenance. There’s a hole in the wall upstairs.’
‘Are you ready for lunch?’
‘Sure,’ I tell him.
We walk about a hundred meters down the road to the nearest coffee house, but all the while I’m distracted by Nabila’s invitation to go to Rapture tomorrow night.
I’m honestly not sure I have the guts.
Number one, because if I go, Echo will kick me out again, or worse.
Number two, because I know the only reason I want to go is because there’s a small chance I could see AJ again.
I try to dismiss the idea outright. But the possibility lingers, and I’m a sad slave to hope.
The sane, normal part of my brain tells the flighty, romantic side to forget it. AJ is not interested in me. Our little road trip was a one-shot deal.
The flighty, dreamy side is already planning my car journey out to Rapture.
Get over yourself, Hollie.
We take a seat outside on the terrace, having ordered sandwiches and a couple of Cokes. Dad reaches into his suit jacket for a pair of sunglasses, which, judging by the way he looks in them, were picked out by Evelyn. ‘Still enjoying the volunteering?’ he asks.
I give a shrug. ‘Weirdly, I love it.’
‘Have you thought about what you might do next?’
There’s a moment of silence. I tilt my head a fraction. ‘Is that why you wanted to take me out for lunch?’
‘No, no,’ Dad hums. ‘Of course not. I just wondered if you’d thought about next steps. The offer is still there, you know. If you want to get a green card.’
I sigh inwardly. ‘I mean, it’s a lot of money. I wouldn’t feel comfortable you paying for it when I haven’t really decided what I want to do yet. If I should stay here, or if I should go back to England and try and find a job. I didn’t want to put pressure on myself.’
‘Of course not. You should come to the conclusion naturally.’
My lips thin as I offer him another smile. A waitress brings out our sandwiches. ‘It’s only that,’ he adds quietly. ‘Evelyn and I, we were talking and—’
He pauses, thanks the waitress and waits for her to leave us alone.
‘And what?’ I ask.
‘And, well, she thinks… and I can see where she’s coming from… that you living in the Eastvale apartment is, well… well we could rent it out to somebody. To a paying tenant.’
I swallow, suddenly not hungry.
‘She thinks you could perhaps move in with us instead.’
I don’t move. When he says Evelyn and I, I know that he’s really relaying some suggestion or other that Evelyn has made to him. She has that kind of influence over him, in the same way she successfully altered his name from ‘Rich’ to ‘Rick’.
I take a bite of sandwich, cover my mouth. ‘And you agree with her?’
He clears his throat. ‘I can see her logic.’
I can see the logic too. But I wasn’t the one who decided to upend our lives and move to a country where it was impossible for me to have paid employment, leaving me with the option of volunteering, sitting around watching Netflix all day, or moving to Europe to live with my unhinged, toy-boy obsessed mother.
I could have stayed in London with Owen, but I had my reasons for leaving.
‘We’re not talking immediately,’ Dad says, finally digging into his sandwich. ‘But maybe in a month or two?’
In the grand scale of things, a month or two almost tallies up with immediately.
‘And we’d love to have you live with us, of course, at least while you’re planning what comes next.’
The sandwich feels dry in my mouth. I put the remainder back down on my plate and swallow down a half-chewed lump. My father I could live with, at least the old version of him. My stepmother and stepbrother? Both a hard pass from me.
‘Evelyn and I, we think you’re being held back here.’
The image of my older brother, Noah, pops into my head. I wonder where he is and what he’s doing. If he knows that I think about him.
‘You know… just… reading to old people.’
‘I happen to like reading to them. Plus, I do more than just read to them. And this is America, Dad, they call them senior citizens. It gives them the respect they deserve.’
He looks shocked. ‘I didn’t mean—’
‘It’s fine,’ I snap, and I hate feeling resentful of him like this. I miss the relationship we had before my stepmother got her claws into him.
‘Anyway. Your brother is doing something similar to earn some extra credit at college.’
I look down at the sandwich on my plate, a single bite taken out of it, and I realize I’ve lost my appetite. ‘He’s not my brother,’ I mumble.
‘I’m sorry. Evelyn thinks I should just refer to us as one family unit. I see what she’s getting at. It’s more… harmonious.’
‘Or looks better for her PR machine, maybe?’ My shoulders sag.
‘Evelyn thinks that the other option is… well…’
‘That I go back to England,’ I cut in, because I’ve always been pretty sure that’s where my stepmother would prefer that I was based. She thought the same about Noah and ended up pushing him away without much effort at all.
‘You can work in England. We could help you out with rent, at least while you look for a job.’
I take another bite of sandwich, forcing it down. My Dad paid for it, and I don’t want to appear ungrateful. I hate that I am so reliant on him. If my parents had stayed together, I would never have even known Canyon existed. I would never have met AJ Callahan and spent my life pining over him.
My dad finishes his sandwich.
‘I probably need to be getting back,’ I tell him.
‘Of course,’ he says.
‘Maybe you and I could go for dinner one night? Just the two of us?’
He brightens. A flash of Rich, not Rick. ‘I’d like that. And you’ll think about… what I said.’
It feels like I’ve been putting off making decisions for a year. I look at the man opposite me. He doesn’t seem like my father anymore. I miss the bond we once shared. I miss days gone by, living in London, just me, him and Noah.
Though I’ve tried not to, I’ve always felt like an outsider in Canyon.