Chapter 02 ZACH
What the hell am I doing?
It had been nearly a month since I got a phone call in the middle of the night from the boyfriend of the guy I’d been hooking up with.
Meeting said boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend—was a notoriously bad idea, but I’d dug this hole myself. I’d offered Eli whatever closure he needed. Besides, the more I dug, the more I learned how fucked up Nate was. Cheating was just the tip of the iceberg with him. Eli was better off.
I felt bad for the guy. I was no saint, but I wasn’t a monster. I wasn’t in the business of ripping apart a happy home. Then again, how happy could it have been?
I’d almost forgotten about Nate entirely until Eli texted me late one night, asking if I could meet him for coffee after his overnight shift. He was finally ready to talk. Luckily, I was horrible at remembering to delete things from my phone, so I still had plenty to show him.
Mornings in July were a shocking contrast to the stifling heat of my hometown. Cool enough that I wouldn’t sweat in my leather jacket, it wasn’t so cold that I’d need anything heavier—and it made for a perfect day for riding. Summer mornings in Woodland Park had me reaching for my helmet and donning my signature riding jacket. More durable and snug than my every-day one, it protected my skin in case of an accident yet with minimal fabric to prevent causing one.
After pulling it out of the garage, I mounted my 2016 Heritage Classic. With the key in the ignition, I twisted the throttle and the engine revved to life. The bike vibrated between my legs, pumping adrenaline through my veins. I accelerated, my heart thumping to the beat of the dad-rock that played through my helmet’s speakers, and I welcomed the cool breeze on my face through its visor. I took in a deep breath of fresh mountain air, remembering why I’d moved to Woodland Park in the first place.
Nearly a decade ago, I’d needed a clean slate, and the quaint suburb of Evergreen Grove provided it. It was exactly the kind of place I needed: Everybody smiled and waved, and nobody asked any questions—even if they gossiped about the mysterious new neighbor behind my back. I didn’t go out of my way to dispel any of the rumors either. It was better for them to assume that I had ties to the mafia or ran a secret drug ring out of my basement than to admit the truth: That I’d fallen into the hands of a dirty cop and it backfired. So, I let the house spouses do their chattering.
It was just shy of nine in the morning when I pulled up in front of the indie coffee shop in town. In the mecca of all things coffee, everyone within driving distance of Woodland Park knew the best java came from Mike’s. They only had one espresso machine, grew and ground their own beans, and worked closely with other small businesses in town. The owner was a bit of an enigma—no one had ever seen them in person—but whoever they were, they didn’t skimp on the small-town coffee shop experience.
I slid my helmet off and shook out my dark hair. It was long, nearly brushing my shoulders, and damp with sweat along my hairline. After removing my gloves, I tucked my helmet under my arm and strolled toward the door. A couple of women at one of the outdoor bistro tables eyed me and whispered to each other, but I only threw them a wink and continued inside.
I’d perfected the art of not caring.
Mike’s was refreshing and inviting. Pausing in the doorway, I let the air conditioning cool my sweaty brow for a moment, basking in the scent of freshly roasted espresso. The machine behind the counter hissed with the release of pressure.
“Hey Zach!“
Julie, the regular morning barista, stood behind the bar and was busy pouring steamed milk into a cardboard cup. She returned my smile, her brown eyes lighting up. “Your usual today?”
“That’d be great,“
I said, crossing the room and parking myself at a table. Since the lone customer at the counter strolled away with their to-go drink, I assumed they weren’t Eli. I didn’t know much about him, only that he worked nights at the local hospital. I wondered if he would be in any state to have such an emotional conversation. I’d offered to push it to another time, but he insisted.
The espresso machine hummed to life again as Julie wordlessly started making my drink. That was what I liked about her: She was kind and cheerful, but she didn’t force me to talk—unlike most of the folk of Evergreen Grove. I had done my research before moving and chose an area with a reputation of people keeping to themselves, but I underestimated the neighborhood factor. Hoping I would get left alone, I found myself bombarded with fresh muffins and more wine than I could possibly drink on my own, all so people could catch a glimpse of me and try to figure out my deal.
But Andrew Mayer made the best damn blueberry muffins I’d ever had.
“Good morning, Eli!“
Julie called over the machine. “Or… night for you, I guess.”
“Morning, Julie,“
came a familiar, fatigued voice.
I hadn’t even heard the chime of the bell over the door. Trying to catch a glimpse of him, I lifted my attention from my phone.
Julie reached for a to-go cup, but Eli stopped her. “I’m meeting someone, actually.“
He scanned the room, landing on where I sat. Tired hazel eyes raked over my body, absorbing my messy hair, old T-shirt, and distressed jeans.
Even after a long shift, his brown hair was neatly combed and tucked behind his ears. He wore dark jeans, with a deep mustard-toned shirt that made the green in his eyes pop. The only evidence of his exhaustion was the drooping of his eyelids—and the yawn he stifled when Julie asked if she should bring our drinks over. He nodded and came over to the table.
His eyes landed on my helmet, and he gestured to the front of the shop. “That your bike outside?”
“That’s right.”
“Hottie with a Harley,“
he muttered, dropping into the chair opposite me.
“I’m sorry?”
“Nate didn’t have your name in his phone,“
he explained. “You were just ‘Hottie with a Harley’.”
My mouth opened and shut as I floundered for something to say. “Wow,“
I settled on. Nate was even more of a piece of work than I had thought. I shook my head to clear it. “I’m Zach.”
Eli let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you. I didn’t want to sit here and call you Hottie all day.”
In spite of the circumstances, I found myself crooking a brow. Eli was wildly attractive, even if he looked like he wanted to flee at the first opportunity. I wouldn’t have minded if he wanted to call me Hottie. The longer I stared, the warmer Eli’s cheeks grew, and I got a glimpse of the soft, sweet man beneath the heartbreak. Flustered, he broke eye contact and picked at his fingers. He didn’t deserve any of this.
Nate was a fucking idiot.
Julie placed a mug in front of me, with one of my favorite caramel chocolate cookies on the saucer. “Your flat white.”
I gave her a smile. “Thank you.”
“And your double espresso.“
Eli’s mug was smaller, and he had a separate plate with a sugar-dusted almond croissant on it. Neither of us ordered the sweets, but that was just who Julie was: She paid close attention, learned your favorites quickly, and always knew when you needed a pick me up.
Eli’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “You’re not allergic, are you?”
“Hm?”
He gestured to his treat. “The nuts—I can trade it for something else. I know some allergies are severe enough to be airborne so…”
“It’s fine.“
Damn it. His concern tugged at my chest. “You look pretty good for just coming off a nine-hour shift,“
I said lightly.
“Fourteen, actually.”
“Damn, how are you even functioning? Are you sure you don’t want some rest before…“
I trailed off, watching in awe as he chugged his double espresso like a cheap tequila shot at a college frat party. “… Or never sleep again. That’s also an option.”
That, at least, got a genuine laugh out of him. He brushed a drop of foam from the corner of his mouth. “Four years of med school, five years of residency, and now a full-time physician role. Not to mention I lived in Vegas for ten years. I haven’t known ‘sleep’ in a very long time. Trust me; I’d rather get this over with. No offense.”
“None taken.“
I unlocked my phone and scrolled to the folder I’d put together for him. Naturally, Nate had deleted his online profile, but not before I saved everything. “Where should I start?”
“I… don’t know.”
Something in his voice caught my attention. I glanced up from my phone, through the locks of hair that had fallen in my face. Eli had rested his elbows on the table and was picking at his pastry, his leg jiggling beneath the table. During our brief phone call a month ago, I remembered, he seemed to deflate at the idea of making a decision. It may have been inappropriate timing, but my Dom senses flared to life.
The corner of my mouth twitched. “Do you want me to decide?”
He dropped his chin into his hand and let out a sigh of relief. “Would you?”
“Of course.”
Oh yeah, this guy had ‘submissive’ written all over him.
And I was about to break his poor little heart all over again. With a heavy breath, I slid my phone across the table. “We actually met at a bar first, over in Wisteria.”
Eli’s head snapped up. “Wisteria?“
I nodded. “When?”
“Few months ago, maybe?”
He slumped in his seat. “He told me he had a sick family member in Wisteria.“
Then he gestured to the phone, at the picture of Nate’s app profile. “When did this happen?”
“A few days after that.”
Eli crossed his arms over his chest, listening intently as I recounted my relationship with Nate, eyes growing wetter with each lie uncovered. The dinner that Nate missed because he had to “work,“
or when he faked a cold to get out of spending Eli’s day off with him. Every time Eli sniffled or blinked away tears, my heart cracked a little more. When he let out a choked sob, I made another executive decision: He didn’t need to see anymore.
“I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am.“
I reclaimed my phone.
“Yeah, you’ve said that.“
Ouch. Okay, he was hurting, so I could let that slide. Eli closed his eyes, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth before reopening them. “I’m sorry. That was mean.”
“I can’t say that I blame you. Do you feel any better?”
He cleared his throat and scrubbed his eyes dry. “I, um… I’m not sure yet.”
I stood and walked to the counter, feeling his eyes burning a hole through my back.
Julie crouched behind the pastry case, sliding in a tray of fresh sticky buns. She smiled when she saw me, brushing crumbs away on her apron. “Is everything okay?“
she asked, her attention flickering to Eli.
“I don’t know,“
I said truthfully. “I kind of slept with his boyfriend.”
“Zachary Rowland!”
“I didn’t know!“
I glanced over my shoulder. Eli was taking pathetic bites of his pastry, not seeming to enjoy it. “Can I get him a glass of water? I think if I watch him chug anymore espresso, my heart will explode.”
Julie forced a tight-lipped smile. “Sure thing.“
She swiftly filled a glass of water but before she let me walk away with it, she plucked one of the apple-shaped cake pops from the pastry case. “Here, score yourself some bonus points. He’s got a massive sweet tooth.”
Could this man be any more adorable? “Thanks, Julie.”
I returned to the table, setting the glass in front of Eli. He muttered a quiet thanks, but his red-rimmed eyes lit up when I handed him the treat. He slid aside the remnants of his croissant. “That’s for me?”
I nodded. “Thought you could use a bit of a lift. Just make sure you brush your teeth before you go to bed so you don’t get cavities.“
I winked at him.
His cheeks tinged pink again, and he refocused his attention on peeling the red fondant off the cake pop. “I’m a doctor, not a dentist.”
I tilted my head, feigning ignorance. “Aren’t they doctors too?”
“Okay, now you’re just trying to piss me off.“
A stray curl fell in his face, and I fought the urge to stretch across the table and tuck it behind his ear.
“But I got you to smile,“
I said, shrugging. When he laughed, a dimple popped in his left cheek. Damn, he was cute. “That’s a win in my book.”
Eli finished off the last of his cake pop and tossed the stick onto his plate. “Thank you for all of this,“
he said. “I should probably get home. I have a thing later, and I’d like to at least think about sleep before then.”
It shouldn’t have, but the thought of him walking out the door made my heart sink into my stomach. I wanted to wrap him in my arms and protect him from the dangers of the world, but he wasn’t mine to keep. “Where’s home? Do you need a ride?”
Eli straightened and stretched. I took advantage of the moment to rake my eyes over his body, taking in the lean muscles under his shirt and the long legs that I’d kill to have wrapped around my—
“On that death machine with wheels? No thanks. We call them ‘donorcyles’ for a reason.“
His lips quirked again, and I lost myself in his dimple. “I can walk. I live in Evergreen Grove. Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because I live in Evergreen Grove.“
I finally picked up my coffee, which had become more lukewarm than hot, but I didn’t want to waste it. After taking a sip, I added, It’s the—”
“Brown house on the end,“
Eli finished for me, realization dawning on his cute features. “I thought you looked familiar.“
Then he paled. “Fuck, he’d been cheating on me right under my nose and I had no idea.”
I opened my mouth to apologize again, but I knew by now that it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. I changed it into a lighthearted, “I guess I’ll see you around the neighborhood.”
Eli winced, and I could practically read the panic in his features. “I—”
“It’s okay.“
I waved him off. “I get it: Smile and wave.”
He gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you, Zach.“
And with nothing more than the sound of my name falling from his lips, he was out the door.
I sighed, sipping at my less-than-satisfying drink. I stared at Eli’s empty seat until I realized the shop had gone quiet… and sensed that someone was watching me. My attention slid to the counter where Julie stood, arms crossed over her chest and a knowing look on her face.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I said.
“I didn’t say a word!”
“You don’t have to.”
Thankfully, she changed the subject. “Are you still meeting Sadie later today? She’s really excited about this shoot.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I’m still doing the ultra-romantic photo shoot you puppy-eyed me into applying for.“
Julie’s smile widened. “You’re lucky you make the best damn coffee I’ve ever had.“
I still couldn’t believe I got picked for the thing.
“Aw, and here I was thinking you thought I was cute.“
A shrill sound echoed through the shop—the buzzer for the back door. Likely just Andrew dropping off more pastries. Julie untied her apron and set it on the counter. “I should get that. Don’t go falling for the heartbroken boy next door!”
She disappeared into the back of the shop, and I returned my attention to Eli’s empty seat. “Too late.”