Chapter 13 LENNIX
“Sooooo,“
Sarra drawls as she inspects her nails like she didn’t just drag them down the chalk board of my mind to break me out of the stupor I’ve been in.
Marlo—or Merlot as they know him here—has left the two of us in the changing room where he gets ready, sitting at his station while he does another routine on the stage. Longer this time, since he cut the last one short.
“So?“
I ask, an uneasy feeling returning to my gut.
I know she deserves answers to this unexpected turn of the night, and I deserve to say them, but I keep finding myself with a tongue that feels too thick.
“Do you have a label or are you just feeling things out?”
Sucking in a deep breath that’s filled with the faint scent of Marlo and man, I let it steel my resolve.
Because this isn’t new. There is no feeling it out. The questions I had have long since ceased.
“I’m … I’m attracted to men.”
The unexpected delight squealing from my best friend has my gaze snapping to her from the spot I was burning into the floor.
My heart is in my throat, and my palms are damp, but she’s grinning and launching into my chest to hug me.
A warmth spreads in my chest, loosening things I didn’t know I was holding taut, and I hug her back with a burning in my eyes.
“I’m so happy for you,“
she sobs into my neck, squeezing me harder.
“I-I haven’t told anyone else.”
“That’s okay!“
She leans back enough to cross a finger over her heart. “Best friend’s oath.”
The relief that floods me makes my breath stutter and I nod. “Thank you.”
Sarra returns the nod with one of her own and settles her ass back into the extra chair Marlo brought over for us before he went back out. Though, she seems a little stiff.
I push up my glasses.
“What is it?“
I ask her.
“Okay, I … have a confession,“
she says, hands wringing in her lap. My heart clenches at what it could be but … Sarra is my best friend. I’ve told her everything else—and I assumed the same on her end considering I know her hair wash days, and where she’s at in her cycle—but she seems nervous. Which is odd for her because she’s always so centered. Certain. Confident.
“Sarra.”
She takes a deep breath and leans toward me, hand reaching the short distance between us to mine. “You aren’t the only queer one.”
My brows shoot up.
“You?“
I ask a little too high pitched and clear my throat.
“Yeah,“
she answers softly with a nod. “I’ve … been here before.”
An odd sense of relief at her acceptance mixes with hurt swirling inside my chest that she didn’t feel safe telling me until now.
But I guess … I have no room to talk. It took me this long to tell her something I should have the minute I started questioning it. It’s only fair to give her the same grace.
The same understanding no one else ever gave us besides each other.
“I won’t tell a soul,“
I promise to her bobbing head as she pretends to not swipe a finger below her eye to save her makeup from running. “Love you, Sarbear.”
She chuckles and it’s watery. “Love you more, Len.”
My heart swells just in time for Marlo to find us sniveling and giggling softly.
His grin is light. Understanding. “Everything okay?”
Giving Sarra’s fingers one last squeeze, I smile up at him. “Yeah. Thank you.”
“Okay, I’m gonna head out,“
Sarra offers as she stands. “Call me later and tell me everything.”
The smug grin is back on her painted lips, and I can’t help but return it. “I will.”
And then it’s just Marlo and me. The room fading like a backdrop, the music muting to nothing more than a heartbeat between us.
“You’re gorgeous up there,“
I tell him as he leans close enough to brush his nose against mine, nudging my glasses. “Strong. Confident … sexy.”
His lips twitch. “I’d say the same about you.”
And then he’s pulling me to my feet, down a hallway with doors lining each side until he finds one open.
There’s a low-backed chair in the middle, facing a set of curtains that cast a low light over the room.
It’s sensual. The air in here thick.
That thickness grows when Marlo toes into the bottom of the chair and a secret compartment pops open, revealing bottles and boxes I can’t read the labels on.
“Tell me if you’d rather wait.”
A shiver racks me and I shake my head.
I don’t know exactly what he’s planning, but I swear I’d do anything he wanted right now.
Including watching raptly as he retrieves a small bottle and condom from the chair, pulling the frilly lace aside to cover then slick his cock.
“Take off your pants, Nix. This is where I fuck you now.”
Saliva pools below my tongue as I follow his instruction to bare my ass and kneel in the chair.
The feeling of his fingers stretching me open isn’t as foreign as I expected, and when his length finally enters me, I moan in relief.
Finally, all the pieces are connected and the doubts I had about myself, about meeting a stranger on a blind date, exit on our panting breaths and combined groans.
This is it. Exactly where I want to be.
“You’re so perfect, Nix,“
Marlo rasps into my ear as he blankets my back. “So, so fucking perfect.”
I’m far from it, but if he thinks so, then I’ll take it.
At least with him, I feel like maybe I could be.