Chapter 02
The interest form for Sadie’s Snapshot’s application had too many questions. I knew every answer because they were questions about me, but everyone made me feel like I was sitting across from the blonde on the flyer, in the darkness of my living room, answering these questions about my life like an interrogation.
Kathryn was right. If not soon, then when would I get over the grasp Parker had on my life?
The picture of Parker on the wall taunted me as I pondered another question that felt too deep to be answered in a small box. His goofy smile and dark green eyes were carbon copies of the features left behind on our son.
He wouldn’t smile if he knew I was signing up to be photographed with a stranger. Parker was weird about people in town. He left our home with a chip on his shoulder and returned with something negative to say about at least one person he ran into, usually distressing him enough to funnel back into something that roughed him up in high school.
Parker wasn’t spontaneous. He liked order and preferred to know change, both things I enjoyed, but to a different capacity. We were horrendously compatible for all the wrong reasons.
And now he was dead. I’d finished crying, his things in our room were packed up in the attic, and the truck that sat in the driveway for a whole three years finally sold.
Being spontaneous didn’t sound so bad. At least, not after another drink or two.
My head fell back against the cushions as I heard movement above me. Probably from Kendall’s bedroom. He returned home not long ago from the movies, said goodnight, and rushed off to join his friends on their shared Minecraft realm.
“What am I hoping to get out of this experience?“
I whispered the question from the form at the ceiling. Not for Kendall, nor Parker because I doubt he made it anywhere close to heaven, but . . . for some mythical power that could give me . . .
Hovering a single finger over the keys of my laptop, I slowly stabbed a single word into my keys.
Strength.