Chapter 01 PETER
A single red leaf falls onto my windshield in the shape of a broken heart.
Fitting.
It’s midday, and my body revolts at the idea of getting my picture taken. I don’t feel attractive and will feel even less attractive when I get in there.
I check my phone and see the picture of Todd and me on our honeymoon in Paris. No matter how hard I try, I can’t bring myself to remove it from my home screen.
Don’t worry, Todd’s not dead. He left me for someone 13 years younger. Now, do I wish he were dead?
My phone buzzes in my hand, almost sending me through the roof. I check the screen, and see the devil woman who did this to me.
Angela: Are you there yet?
I’m pretty sure my eye roll has made a full rotation around the planet.
I can’t believe you convinced me to do this! What was I thinking?
After Todd left me, Angela swooped in to pick up the pieces. We’ve been best friends since our freshman year of high school. When she asked me out on a date and, on said date, we kissed in the backseat of my parents’ Honda Civic, and she screamed, “I knew you were gay.”
Angela: Are you sitting in your car like a Grumpy Gus?
I’m not a Grumpy Gus!
Angela: Get in there! She’s waiting for you. I told her she has to send me stills so I can see how cute you look.
All of this is a morale boost. I’m beyond grateful to have a friend like Angela, but her remedies for complicated feelings tend to lean to the extreme. Like this, setting me up as a model for a couples shoot to show me how “gorgeous“
I still am.
Todd and I had been together for ten years. He’s 38, and I’m 41. I was never one of those people who cared about age. I embraced turning 40, but when Todd left me for a 28-year-old sixteen months later…
Well, needless to say, I got a little self-conscious.
Are you literally texting with the photographer or something?
Angela: Of course! She’s super sweet, and you’re going to have a blast with your session partner.
Another thing I’m dreading. I actually have to meet this person and somehow magically conjure chemistry. Good God.
I’m going to be awkward as hell. You know that, right?
Angela: No, you won’t. You’re going to get all lovey-dovey with a hot model who is going to think you’re smoking hot, too!
I seriously doubt that.
This is just a regular couples shoot, right? Nothing crazy? Is this still all about capturing chemistry and the beauty of fall, or is that a big ruse?
The dreaded three dots appear, disappear, then reappear in rapid succession. My stomach drops. If I know her, this is something crazy…
Shelly: Okay, jigs up. It’s a dungeon scene. BDSM. Think blindfolds and whips.
I AM LEAVING!
Shelly: I’M KIDDING! It’s a totally normal couples shoot. Mild intimacy at best. But please send me a selfie of your face right now, because I know it’s priceless.
You’re in big trouble.
Angela: I’ll make it up to you with drinks at Sky Lounge.
You better…
Angela: Get in there! Have fun :-*
I know I’m going to need more than just one happy hour to recover from this ordeal. The picture of Todd and me reappears onscreen—like it's slapping me in the face. I thought I’d found my forever person. Getting back on the market at freaking 41? It makes me want to cry, but I don’t have any tears left to shed.
My groan could rattle concrete as I shove my dumb phone in my pocket and slam the car door behind me.
I just need to buck up and get through this. Maybe I’ll get a couple of pictures to use for the OK Cupid profile I’m dreading to create.
Is OKCupid even a thing anymore?Can’t think about that.
Just get in there, smile, and leave.