Chapter 06 BRANDON
It’s been so long since I’ve done this with another person.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve known my sexual identity, but I always ended up with women. And once I met my now ex, I thought I’d never get to explore it fully. I was happy, though. Until I wasn’t. After the pain of it all faded away, I was overcome with nerves over the possibility of dating anyone masculine-presenting. What if I did it wrong? Was there any difference besides potential anatomy? Did I care if it matched my own? Eventually, I answered those questions, and ultimately, I know I’m attracted to both equally.
I fully accepted the possibility I’d be paired up with another man. I said I was open to it on the application.
So, it’s odd to me that those nerves keep fading away the longer I’m with Rune. He’s on my fucking lap. I put him there. Moved him around and positioned him how I wanted. Like he’s already mine to do those things with, there’s a burn low in my stomach and a tightness in my core. I want to kiss his forehead. I want him in my lap, those long legs straddling my hips.
“Good?“
he asks softly once he’s fully seated.
“Good,“
I murmur, unable to resist caressing his spine and pulling him even closer to my front. “Dip your chin for me.”
His eyes round slightly, but he does what he’s told, sending a thrill through my veins. Sadie gives a few more instructions for Rune, but all I’m focused on is kissing that forehead. A real kiss with pressure and intent. When his hands settle on my chest, the familiar spike of insecurity hits my psyche.
I go rigid, and he notices. “What’s wrong?”
How do I explain this? His head lifts so he can look directly into my eyes. “I’ve gained some weight recently, and I’m still not used to this new body.”
He feels more of my chest, the softness that used to be firm with muscle. When his thumbs brush over my nipples, I hold my breath, so I don’t gasp. “For what it’s worth,“
he starts, mirroring my earlier words, “I think it’s a great body.”
I grip his hips, feeling the hard bone. “Thank you. I put zero effort into it.“
He laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound. Releasing one hip, I pinch his chin gently and tug it into place.
“Ready whenever you two are,“
Sadie says.
Shelving my insecurities for the time being, I let myself enjoy Rune’s hands on me and lean forward to give him that kiss. My nose hits the top of his scalp, and a mix of scents pulls me deeper into the moment. A sweet-smelling shampoo and hairspray make up most of it. Eyes fluttering shut with something like peace, I kiss his forehead again. He shimmies impossibly closer, dragging his ass right over my cock, and squeezes the soft flesh of my chest.
I hold him tighter and fall into him. My lips travel lower—a kiss for his temple. A kiss for his cheek, and when I reach the corner of his mouth, he whimpers softly. “Gosh, this last pose is pulling out so much chemistry. I can’t wait to show you two!“
Sadie squeals.
It feels rude to ignore her, but I can’t help it. If not for her commentary, I’d have forgotten she was even here. She announces that only a few pictures remain, and Rune surprises us both. He cups my face with both hands, dips it down, and plants the biggest kiss on my forehead, and lingers. The residue of his lip gloss sticks to my skin, but I don’t mind.
“It only felt fair,“
he whispers and pulls away. Upon spotting the evidence of his impromptu kiss, he laughs, making my heart flutter again. “Sorry.“
He wipes the gloss off and blushes. “Oh my god, my highlighter is all over you. Looks like you gave a blowie to Edward Cullen.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. Sadie takes the final picture of us both howling like idiots.
“Let me get this hooked up to my laptop, and I can go over the shots with you,“
she says happily. “You both did amazing!”
I help Rune off my lap, a bit reluctant to let him go. He wobbles slightly as he stands before offering his hand. “Why, thank you,“
I tease and allow him to pull me up. He’s stronger than he looks.
“Any time.“
He winks, still sporting a pretty blush that shines through all that makeup.
The three of us head back to Sadie’s car. While she connects her camera to the laptop, I inch closer to Rune. I want to touch him more. It feels like I should have my hand on his back or interlock our fingers—something. Instead, he leans into my shoulder and smiles prettily. I swear to god I’ve got butterflies right now. I can’t even remember the last time that happened.
“Oh wow,“
he muses when the first picture pops up on the screen.
We look like a legitimate couple. Those first few photos should’ve captured how nervous I was, but it’s like a completely different person is inhabiting my body. And the way Sadie angled the lens made me look slimmer than I am. My grandma is going to love these. Hell, I love these. I might even show them to Kato, my Alaskan Malamute.
“See what I mean?“
Sadie coos. “You two are naturals.”
She clicks through all of them, each one depicting two people who clearly want to be there. And in every image, I gain more confidence to ask the question brewing in my head.
“When can we get them?“
Rune asks.
“I have to edit them, since I only shoot in raw format. But I’d say sometime within six to eight weeks. I’ll send you the link for the digital photos, and you can print them with the release form you both signed.”
Sorry Grandma. Looks like it'll be a late Christmas gift or early birthday…
“I’m in awe, Sadie, truly. You’re amazing!“
he gushes, and I add on, “I can’t believe that’s us.”
“Thank you to you both for participating.“
She shakes both of our hands. “I’ll send you an email once everything is good to go.”
We thank her again, say our goodbyes, and watch her drive away. When it’s just the two of us, Rune starts fidgeting with his jacket. It’s now or never.
“Brandon?“
he blurts before I even open my mouth.
“Yeah?“
I absently rub the back of my neck, bracing for a rejection.
What I’m feeling might not have occurred for him. Sure, the photoshoot helped set the mood, but it mainly opened the door for me to allow myself to recognize what I’ve been sensing all along. Our rivalry was never just about music—it was him.
He’s yanking on those chains now. His feet are shifting like he needs to move. “Would you…do you want to…“
He winces and peeks at me through his dark lashes.
I straighten to my full height and pull his hands off the damn jacket. “I want to see you again. Soon,“
I tell him. “This has been—”
“Amazing,“
he rasps, finishing for me. “When can we meet up?”
The look in his eyes tells me he is looking to me for that decision. He wants someone confident. I haven’t been confident in a long time, but I’m willing to try—I can do that. “Friday night. We can go out for dinner.”
He steps into me, and I realize I’m still holding his wrists. My thumbs glide over the soft inside skin, and he sucks in a sharp breath. “What if we don’t like the same food?”
“We do.”
His thin eyebrow arches. “Oh?”
“We agreed on it back in October.“
I smile at him, taking the opportunity to slide his hand in mine. “You were arguing with someone in the live stream about the best place to grab a bite before a concert. I agreed with you.”
“PF Chang’s,“
he muses and flutters his lashes. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
I smirk. “Mhm.”
“What about our online stuff? Everyone will be in a big ol’ stink if we are suddenly buddy-buddy. And I have my comeback video mostly edited.”
“Post it,“
I say easily.
He frowns a little, fingers twitching in mine. “But it’s…mean.”
I roll my eyes and tug him to my chest. There’s a surprised squeak, and then his eyes hood immediately, pooling with recognizable heat. It makes me want to beat on my chest and claim him. I refrain—just barely—and lean in. “I told you, hun. I love arguing with you.”
“Dreadful is still shit,“
he whispers, inching closer to my mouth. “You can’t change my mind.”
“And Headless Angels still lacks technical skill,“
I whisper back.
He groans. “Fuck it. Agree to disagree. Just kiss me.”
“Thought you’d never ask.”