Chapter Nine #2
“Pierre! Thanks for squeezing us in,” Nico said with a bright, genuine smile on his face as he shook the chef’s hand and leant in to kiss his cheeks.
“Toby, this is Pierre, owner and head chef of La Petite Souris and my partner on season fifteen of Come Dancing With Me. And he also hosts things like The Great British Cooking Show, because apparently he has too much time on his hands! Pierre, this is Toby, my partner for this year’s Christmas show and former boy band superstar. ”
Pierre laughed, patting Nico on the shoulder before reaching out to shake my hand.
He was younger than I’d expected, but he seemed to fizz with an almost electric energy.
“Lovely to meet you. Nico said you were looking for some good food and some privacy. I can give you both, especially the good food. You’ll need that with everything he puts you through. I still count bars in my sleep.”
I grinned. “I’ve not gotten that far yet, but I do find myself waltzing up and down my kitchen without even realising.”
“Good,” Nico said. “I’ll make a decent dancer of you yet.”
Pierre winked at me. “He said the same to me, don’t worry. His bark is worse than his bite.” He gestured at a woman stood next to him who was dressed all in black. If she looked shocked to see me, it didn’t show on her face. “Francesca will take care of you.”
“Come with me,” she said, gesturing at us to follow her through the restaurant, which we did.
She ushered us through a doorway into a smaller room filled with laid but empty tables and then pulled a heavy red velvet curtain across it.
“We don’t usually use the back room for lunch service during the week, so you can have it to yourselves. ”
“You’re a star,” Nico said. “I really appreciate it.”
“No worries. You won’t be disturbed here, and me and Rick will take care of you ourselves.
” She seated us at a table tucked up against the far wall and handed us two menus before rattling off some specials.
Everything sounded amazing, and I didn’t even know where to begin making a decision.
Luckily it didn’t have to be immediate as Francesca had gone to get us some drinks and find Mo a table in the main restaurant, but I’d have to choose at some point.
Nico watched me from across the table, his own menu flat in front of him. “You look concerned.”
“Not really. It’s more that I don’t know how I’ll ever begin to choose.”
“Do you have any allergies? Dislikes?”
“Not really,” I said, looking down at the menu again, which had adorable little sketched mice cooking and eating various foods dotted across the paper. “I’m not sure I could do snails, but that’s about it.”
“Okay, let’s let Pierre decide,” Nico said.
“Can we do that?”
“Of course. Haven’t you ever done that in a restaurant before?”
“No. Why would I?” I asked, completely baffled by the suggestion. “I don’t even like asking them to make changes to the dishes unless I really have to. It just seems rude to me.”
“Huh. I thought every celebrity did that,” he said with a lightly teasing glint in his eye.
“I mean, I don’t, but I’m sure some do. Actually, I know some do because I’ve seen it.
” I winced as I remembered the scene an actor had caused at a restaurant in LA when he’d basically decided to treat the restaurant as his own personal kitchen, ordering things that weren’t even listed and arguing with the staff about it.
Who even tried to order a cheeseburger at a Japanese restaurant anyway?
“Am I allowed to ask?”
“You can. Doesn’t mean I’ll tell you,” I said. “I try not to be that person and gossip about everyone. I used to, but then I realised how much I hated it when people talked about me, so I stopped. Tried to anyway.”
“That’s very honest of you,” he said, and the little smile pulling at the corner of his mouth actually made my heart flutter. I knew my heart wasn’t literally skipping a beat, but it felt like it had.
“Thank you. It sounds more noble than it is,” I said with a sigh.
“It was mostly because something I told someone about someone else was repeated to another person and ended up all over Twitter. The person it was about never found out it was me, at least I don’t think they did, but I felt awful.
I should have apologised, but I didn’t because I was so worried they’d find out I was behind it, even though it was completely accidental.
So, no more gossip. The only exception is when I’m talking to the boys, because I trust them with my life. ”
My mouth pulled as I looked at Nico, wondering if he would hate me for what I’d done. Luckily, the thing I’d talked about hadn’t been too much of a big deal, but even so.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to judge you,” Nico said softly.
“Dance is just as gossipy and judgemental, and we’ve all been caught up in it.
You say the wrong thing, vent to the wrong person, get dragged in, or find yourself caught in the energy of the moment.
The important thing is recognising what you’re doing and why. Sounds like you did that.”
“I did. I was young too. Younger, anyway. I don’t think joining a boy band at eighteen was necessarily my best idea.”
“Shit the bed, you were that young?”
“Yeah. At the time, it felt like I’d gotten everything I’d ever dreamt about. Now… I can appreciate the experience for what it was and realise there were good, bad, and truly ugly parts,” I said.
“Would you do it again?”
“Maybe.” I thought for a second, gazing off into space.
“I wouldn’t be the person I am without it, and I don’t just mean the fact I’m rich, famous, and get to write songs.
I mean, I learnt a lot about myself, made some amazing friends, and got to experience things most people only dream about.
But I’m not sure it was worth all the things it left me with. I don’t know if I’m making much sense.”
“You are,” he said. He pursed his lips slightly, fingers flexing on the table, almost like he wanted to reach out with them.
“You can be proud of what you achieved, amazed at the life you’ve led, and still mourn the things it’s taken away from you.
Like the fact that very few people get to see the real you, and that sucks, because the real you is amazing. ”
“Thank you,” I said, wondering if it would be odd to brush my fingers against his. There was something about the way he was looking at me that made it feel like it wouldn’t be the worst idea. Strangely, it felt like I was being seen for the first time.
“I mean it. And I’m sorry I said you put on an act. I get why you do. I know I do it too, even if I don’t realise it. I just… I wish other people could see what I do.”
“And what’s that?”
“That you’re fucking awesome, Toby. And maybe one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. You’re nothing like the man I expected, and every day I get to learn something new about you. It’s like… fuck it, it’s like opening one of those super expensive advent calendars and finding something new.”
I laughed because that was an analogy I’d never heard.
I liked it, though.
“Can I be one of those ones where you get a tiny jar of fancy jam every day? I always wanted one of those,” I said, using my excitement as an excuse to reach across the table and put my hand on his.
Nico smiled and casually laced our fingers together without taking his eyes off me. “Sure, you can be anything you want.”
“Excellent! Also, I think you’d be one of those fancy ones filled with skincare or maybe like cheeses and chutneys. What do you think?”
“Fuck that, I want to be fancy-as-fuck chocolates. The really bougie ones where you think ‘what the fuck, it’s only chocolate, why have I paid fifty quid for this’ and then realise it’s the best fucking chocolate you’ve ever had.”
I nodded, trying not to focus on how warm his skin felt against mine or how different it felt from every other time he’d held my hand. “Sounds perfect. I one hundred percent agree.”
And in the back of my mind, I wondered how hard it would be to find an advent calendar exactly like that.