Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
ALY
“This has been the best lunch break I’ve ever had in my life,” I say in a lazy voice, completely satiated from the intense orgasm Gavin just gave me.
The circles he’s drawing on my back with his fingers are lulling me to sleep like a lullaby, and I groan, hating the idea of having to get up soon.
“I wish we didn’t have to go back to work. ”
“Me too, baby, but just think—as soon as you agree to move in with me, we can do this every day for the rest of our lives.” He kisses me deeply, sending shivers down my spine at the thought of this being my forever.
We’ve been together for over a month now, and every day with him still feels like a dream.
Even things with Sosie have changed for the better.
After I took care of her the night she got drunk, she’s done a complete one-eighty with me.
She even apologized to me the next day when we took her to brunch.
I didn’t do what I did to gain her approval, but I have to admit it felt good for her to let me in.
My eyes slide closed thinking about the pain I heard in her voice when she told me that besides Gavin and his family, what I did for her was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her.
She told me she couldn’t believe I still took care of her after she’d been a huge bitch.
I was honestly surprised when she started to cry, saying I had proven that I loved Gavin and I didn’t deserve her lashing out at me.
I thought it might have been lack of sleep and a hangover that made her apologize for her past behavior, especially when she asked if we could be friends, but since then, we’ve grabbed a bite to eat together a couple times without Gavin, and she came out shopping once with me and Valerie.
I wouldn’t say we’re close, but I have hope that one day we might be.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t move in with you, babe. I said we’re in no rush. You practically live here anyway.” I huff at him, trying to stay focused on my point while he trails kisses down my neck.
He rolls me over, and my legs immediately spread for him. He settles in between them and stares at me. “Promise me that we’ll start looking for a place when we get back from California.” It isn’t a question, but more like a demand as he gazes into my eyes.
“I promise,” I whisper, a lump of emotion wedging into my throat as I get lost in him.
I have an overwhelming urge to tell him I love him.
To tell him he’s my everything. No one has ever made me feel as beautiful, as loved, as secure and protected as he does.
In such a short amount of time, this man has become my whole world.
I can’t imagine one single day without him in it, and even though I’ve given myself freely to him, a tiny, minuscule part of me is still scared. It’s that part of me that prevents me from saying those three big words he’s longing to hear from me.
What are you waiting for, Aly? Tell him!
I gulp down my emotions, and before I can utter the words, the alarm on my phone goes off, indicating my lunch break is over.
“Let’s get you ready for work, darlin’.” He lifts himself off me and just like that, the moment is over.
Disappointment swirls within me, and I silently yell at myself for being such a coward. I slowly sit up and watch him get dressed until that magnificent body of his is covered. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and get up to use the restroom.
“Have you seen my phone? I need to call Sosie and tell her to meet me at my apartment later.” We look around my room but don’t see it.
“You probably left it in your car. Here, just use mine to text her. I need to freshen up before I get dressed.” I hand him my phone before going into the bathroom.
I quickly wash myself with soap and warm water, dry off, apply lotion, and brush my teeth.
I wrap myself in my robe and go back into my room.
I stop dead in my tracks when I see the look on Gavin’s face as he stares at my phone.
“What’s wrong, what happened?” I rush toward him and grab his forearm, but he shakes my hand off him.
“What the fuck is this, Aly?” he asks in a calm, deadly voice. His eyes are anything but calm when he looks at me and raises my phone for me to see the screen. I read the text displayed, and my breath gets caught in my throat while my stomach starts to hurt from reading the words.
Kathleen Davidson: I had lunch with Scotty today. He told me Gavin has been inquiring about BLM. Great job! Keep your eyes on the prize and that promotion will soon be yours.
My hands ball into fists, and I look up at the man I love, seeing betrayal in his eyes. “I know this looks bad, but it’s not what it seems,” I say while he stares at me as if I’m a complete stranger.
“It’s not? Then what the hell is it? Because it seems pretty crystal-fucking-clear that once again I’m being used by someone I care about,” he growls, looking at me the same way he looks at Tori, his eyes starting to fill with hatred.
“I can explain, baby.” I hold up my hands, trying to explain to keep him from walking out.
“Kathleen approached me a couple weeks ago, asking me if you were happy at Charisma. I told her that we don’t talk about business, and that’s when she offered me a promotion if I tried to convince you to sign with us once your contract is done. ”
Without a word, he sidesteps around me and stomps down the stairs. His strides are so long that I have to run to keep up with him, my grip on the railing is the only thing preventing me from falling down.
“Gavin, I told her no!” I reach the bottom of the stairs and run past him to block him from walking out the front door. “Did you hear me? I told her no!”
The emotions playing on his face are telling me he’s barely listening to me, too deep in his own thoughts to hear the truth.
“Why didn’t you tell me when that happened?” he asks in a dangerous voice, his eyes narrowed in doubt.
“I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want you to doubt my feelings for you.
We are so new. And considering your past relationship, I knew you might not believe me.
” My throat gets tight. “I didn’t think this would ever come up again because I told her no!
” I say quickly, my voice rising and my eyes begging him to trust me.
“I know that was wrong and I should’ve told you right away.
I’m sorry, Gavin! Please… you’ve got to believe me! ”
He stares at me, his eyes searching mine to see if I’m telling the truth. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? You could be playing me just like I’ve been played before.”
“No!” I cry out, tears starting to stream down my cheeks. “I would never do that to you. I’m not Tori. I love you!”
He laughs, the sound cruel and mocking, cutting my heart open. “The words I’ve been waiting to hear from you, and this is the time you decide to tell me? Like I would fucking believe them right now?”
“But it’s true. I do, Gavin. I do love you!” I shake my head at him, not believing this is happening. I feel like my world is crumbling down around me.
“Move away from the door,” he growls, refusing to look at me, and any remnants of hope I have start to fade away.
“No,” I whisper, and instead, I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist tightly and locking my hands together, because I’m not letting him go.
I can’t. “Gavin. Please… you have to trust me.” The thought of losing him breaks the dam of tears, my shoulders rocking hard as I bawl into his chest. Wetness soaks the front of his shirt, and we just stand there for a moment, the sounds of my anguish filling the air.
Minutes pass, and I finally feel him touch me, his hands gently gripping my biceps as he tries to lean back.
“I need some time to think, Aly,” he says in a tone that has me lifting my head up to look at him.
I know I probably look like a mess, but I don’t care.
I blink to clear my vision and search his eyes, noticing his expression isn’t as hard as before but still missing that special look he has only for me. The one filled with warmth and love.
God, I’m such an idiot. But he’s being an idiot too! He should know what we have and trust me.
“I need to be alone to think. Let me go,” he says gently, reaching behind his back to pry my hands apart. Tears start to spring to my eyes again, and all I can do is shake my head at him. “I’ll call you later when I’m ready to talk.”
“Do you promise?” I croak out, my throat raw from crying. “You need to trust me,” I repeat again, looking him in the eye.
“I’ll call you.”
A lone tear falls down my cheek, and he reaches up to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb. I exhale the breath I was holding and nod, releasing my hands and dropping my arms from around him, feeling defeated. I hate letting him go, but I know there’s nothing I can do but wait.
He walks around me, and I turn to watch him go, wanting so badly to yell and scream at him that he’s making the wrong choice.
Another wave of tears starts to fall. He stops and takes one more look at me before closing the door behind him.
I shuffle over to my window and watch him run a hand through his hair as he walks away.
I stand there until I see his truck drive by, and it’s only then I run upstairs and throw myself onto my bed to cry.