Chapter 6
Chapter six
Bex
Relief pulses in my veins as I reread the letter that landed on my doormat.
I consider pouring myself a glass of bubbly to celebrate.
It’s ten o’clock in the morning. It was my drunken behavior that got me into this mess.
Well, that and the part of me that still can’t say no to Ben.
But it’s still ridiculous that I even consider it.
Dear Miss Corrigan,
We have concluded the investigation into your behavior outside academy hours. After consulting with the parents’ association and your colleagues, we have agreed you may return to your post as Director of English.
We accept your admission of having issues regarding alcohol and have arranged ten weeks of support to help you accomplish your goal of being able to stop drinking permanently.
Please note, we have reinstated you in your role for a six-month probationary period. There will be an evaluation at the end of this period to complete any future steps required.
I look forward to seeing you back at Hilltop Manor when school restarts in September.
Kind Regards,
John Fraser
Principal of Hilltop Manor Academy
Before now, everything else in my life was chaos. But teaching? That I could rely on. I know how to hold a classroom together, even when the rest of my life is falling apart. It’s the one part of me I live with confidence, the one skill I know I don’t suck at.
Now, I know I must cut all ties with Ben and Kelsey.
It was ridiculous to think we could be friends after all the drama that had gone on between us over the years.
I never intended to love a married man; that was never supposed to be me.
The buried connection between Ben and me never waned over the years.
But since he married, we’ve only slept together that once.
When they were separated. Though there have been a few near misses.
The first time was about two years after their wedding. There was a school reunion taking place, and we all went along.
Amy couldn’t wait to parade Terry in front of the girls who used to make her cry in junior year.
He had finally gotten his act together, holding down a regular job at the local theater.
They were living together in a one-bedroom apartment near me.
Life seemed to fall into place for them.
Constant whispers were flying around that he was going to pop the question. Though, he still hasn’t yet.
Ben and Kelsey had been married for two years with a beautiful daughter already. In true teenage dream fashion, she had fallen pregnant on their honeymoon. Savannah was now eighteen months old and a bubbly, blonde-headed little cherub.
Watching them together—him with someone else, the child that could’ve been ours—shattered me more than I ever let on. It was one thing to lose him. It was another to watch the life you dreamed of unfold without you.
No relationship I’ve had has ever come close since.
Even being in the same room as him was a hit of dopamine.
A glance. A breadcrumb I was always too willing to follow.
So I continued to socialize with the group.
Lust after him from afar. Sometimes, I’d feel him looking, and I would wonder if he missed me.
It would feed the little hope I had that maybe our strained situation wasn’t the end.
The night of the reunion had been a lot of fun.
The drinks flowed while people swapped stories of failed jobs and marriages.
Suddenly, a tap on my shoulder grabbed my attention.
I spun around to stare into deep green eyes.
They belonged to Max. He was tall and dark, with a warm complexion that made you think of sunnier places.
He smiled, then pulled me into an enormous bear hug.
“Bex Corrigan, you look mighty fine,” he said, giving me a cheeky wink. I laughed and cuddled him again. It was so good to see a friendly face. “It’s been too long, gorgeous.”
“Max, how are you? Life treating you well?”
We chatted idly about our lives, where we lived, and our families.
It turned out we were both still single, stuck in a group of friends who were all in couples.
He taught too, between flights, festivals, and the kind of sunburns that came with a carefree life I couldn’t imagine anymore.
In some ways, it sounded as if he had never grown up.
His life was full of beaches and cocktails.
We swapped numbers and agreed to meet up later for a drink.
I was almost excited about the prospect.
“Not a bad night,” I giggled to myself, then I felt his presence before I saw him.
“New crush?” I turned to find Ben standing behind me, pint in hand, watching Max disappear into the crowd.
“Old friend,” I said, too lightly. Trying to sweep whatever he saw under a magical carpet. He knew damn well who Max was; we all went to school together, though they weren’t friends. “We were just catching up.”
He didn’t smile. Just took a long sip of his pint.
“Didn’t realize you were close.”
“We’re not,” I replied, voice sharp. My defenses rising instantly.
He tilted his head. “Could’ve fooled me.”
Before I could respond, he walked away, leaving the scent of aftershave and resentment in his wake. And I was left staring at the back of a man who had no right to question who I spoke to. I flipped him the bird, but he didn’t see it. Though it made me feel a little better.
Kelsey was sitting on a plastic chair near the door when I found her.
She looked exhausted, which was to be expected.
She had a young child to care for while working as a nurse.
Her eyes were heavy, and it looked as though she had been crying.
Ben was now standing at the bar with Terry. I sat down next to his wife.
“You alright?” I asked. Our relationship had been civil in recent months, but I kept my distance. Today, she looked like she needed a friend. I felt I should try.
“Yes, fine, I’m just ready for home.” She didn’t bother hiding the glare she shot toward Ben. “He’s called a taxi for me.”
She stood, marching toward the exit of the hall. Ben scurried out after her.
Ten minutes later, he returned, re-joining Terry at the bar. His shoulders slumped, the swagger gone. Amy lingered beside me, her eyes fixed on the scene playing out. I turned to her.
“What’s this all about?” I asked. She paused, clearly deciding how much honesty I could handle. “Amy, is everything alright?”
“They had a fight,” she said, her tone measured. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking for more information. “They had a fight about you.”
“Me?” I squawked. “What about me?”
She sighed, shrugging, obviously deciding that it would make her life easier just to tell me.
“About the way Ben watches you.”
I looked at her, perplexed. “The way he watches me?”
“Yes, Bex,” she snapped as if she was exasperated I wasn’t immediately on the same page. “Don’t tell me you don’t notice the way his eyes follow you around the room. The obvious jealousy when he sees you talking to another man. The fact you’re his ex-girlfriend, and he still has feelings for you.”
I laughed, not believing a word. It was absurd.
And yet, pathetically, it sparked a flicker of hope that what we shared was real—if only for a while. That I hadn’t imagined the whole damn love story.
“He left me, Amy.” I opened my arms wide to exaggerate my point. “I’m a single loser at my high school reunion with two couples. He walked away and never looked back.”
She shook her head. “If that’s what you see, Bex, you’re even more stupid than I thought.” Then she turned on her heel and walked away.
I looked up, and Ben was there watching me. How long had he been standing there? His face told me he heard the entire exchange.
“Is it true?” I stammered.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Is what true?” he responded smoothly. “The fact I fought with my wife? Or the fact I still have feelings for you?”
My heart stopped. His grin was too loose, his stance too casual. The sort of intoxicated state where you unwittingly reveal your secrets. The ones you want no one else to know.
“Well, any of it?” I answered sharply, more sharply than needed. His cool eyes surveyed me as if considering what to say next. The gym reeked of stale beer and teenage nostalgia. People danced like they were trying to forget they had mortgages. I wasn’t one of them.
He walked forward, pressing us together.
“What do you think, Bex?” His question was an unspoken answer rather than a query.
We both knew it was all true. For a second, I wanted to forget everything.
To lean in, to believe we could rewrite it all with one kiss.
His words made it so easy to forget everything that came after us.
But I couldn’t. Not that night. Not there.
After the reunion, he would go home to his family while I lay in bed alone.
So I tried to deflect, change the subject, move away from what was both comforting and painful.
“I think this is wrong.” The words bit out one by one. “Unfair.”
“What’s unfair…” he slurred. “Is that this is where we’ve ended up. With a wall between us. Apart when we should be together.”
“You made your choice,” I whispered, but I didn’t know if he heard me. I’d already started walking away. I had to, because if I hadn’t, I may have made a decision I would live to regret.