Chapter Nine #2
“Let’s sit down, yeah?” Conor suggested. I didn’t want to let them see me like this. How fucking embarrassing. “I think we can find our spot under the old tree.”
“Okay,” I squeaked into my cape, which was now serving as a tissue. Man, I bet the other Sith lords would be appalled. I was pretty sure Darth Maul never had a moment while fighting three Jedi masters. “I’m… can we walk?”
“Sure, yeah, I mean totally,” Sam said as he rubbed my shoulder. “That’s what we do right? Bridge birthday walks and all that.”
“Yeah,” I sniffled pulling the cape up and over my head. “Walking is…yeah.”
We left the toys along the side of the road, and the masks, and with Ryan’s beefy arm around my shoulder, and the other three on my left side, we began a slow stroll over the bridge.
The worn boards creaked under our weight.
A wren in the rafters scolded us as we walked under her tiny stick and grass cup of a nest. No one said anything.
I think they were waiting for me to gather myself, which I finally did about a half a mile from the bridge.
We were now on Sam’s land, the forest was thick and green, the sugar maples lush and healthy as they filled acres and acres of land.
Far off, real far, you could hear the bleats of someone’s goats.
I paused as we neared a fat elm tree that had stood proudly in that spot for nearly a century. It had been ravaged by elm borers and now was clinging to life. Just like my shop. I stared up into the meager leaves that had managed dark green egg-shaped shapes fluttering in the wind.
“The past week has been exceptionally shitty.” I sighed, flipped the cape back down over my back, and turned to blink soggy lashes at my three best friends and what I hoped would be a fourth bestie soon.
Each one was looking at me with such worry.
“I’m so sorry I wigged out on you, Conor.
It’s your damn birthday and I went animalistic on you. ”
He shrugged. “Meh, I’ll live. What we’re more worried about is what brought that on, and don’t sugarcoat it.”
“Ha, funny. Candy maker. Sugarcoat,” I coughed out with a feeble attempt at a smile.
They all returned my flimsy smirk. “I want to sit.” And so, we sat, under the old dying elm, the four of us like we had done a thousand times over the years.
Different trees yes but the vibe was the same.
Comforting. Loving. Something I didn’t want to ever lose but wasn’t sure how to hold onto for much longer.
Even with a new fifth the emotions were just as strong.
“Talk to us,” Sam prodded, gently, but still prodded.
I did tend to pull everything bad and worrisome inside while I gave the world the Haider that they all wanted. Bright, cheery, gay and proud, colorful, vibrant. Scared.
“It started with the pandemic,” I whispered and they leaned in a little closer.
A blue jay called out from the boughs above us as I opened the floodgates.
The loss of business from Covid had nearly done me in, as it had so many other small businesses.
Sam’s maple farm, Ryan’s woodworking shop, hell every independent business all over the world had suffered.
Many were still trying to right the ship.
My boat was taking on water faster than I could bail.
It was nearly impossible to compete with the big boys online.
Sure, people said they loved eclectic stores with history but they didn’t want to pay more to the mom and pop or have to wait more than a day for their order.
And hey, I got it. Money was tight. Who would pay me six bucks for two milk chocolate and sea salt-covered toffees when they could buy a bag in bulk for ten dollars?
Was the chocolate as rich as mine? Hell no.
Was the sea salt sifted by hand to ensure it was up to Aubert standards?
Absolutely not. But when push came to shove cheap wins over quality.
I ran on and on, hands flying, nose stuffy, telling them everything and then some.
“Then I called her a terrible thing and she left the shop close to tears,” I confessed, shame hunching my shoulders. Sam draped an arm around my neck then dropped a kiss to my sweaty curls.
“Haider, you should have said something. I can work out a discount on the maple syrup I—” Sam started to say.
“No!” I snapped, jerking my head up so hard his bounced off mine.
“Sorry, but no. You’re not going to lose money giving me handouts.
Nope, no, do not go there.” I might be the smallest of the group but I was Capucine Aubert’s grandson.
Nothing intimidated me. Other than being a failure and losing the most important thing in my grandmother’s life.
“And then the thing with Phillip Brauning happened.”
“What thing?” The three of the them said in unison. It warmed me in ways that Sam’s famed hot chicken wing dip could never hope to.
“I know where he’s staying,” Ryan said as he punched his calloused palm with a rough fist. “We can pay him a visit.”
“No, please, don’t go hunting him down. He’s not…
I mean what happened was…” I felt so many things all at once it was hard to encapsulate the emotions.
“We spent some time talking at the lake like a week ago? Maybe more? I can’t keep track of time.
Everything seems to be spiraling out of control.
” I took a moment to breathe. “Okay, so we have met and talked about terms for selling the shop.”
“Haider, man, no, don’t do that. Don’t sell out. We’ll do something,” Ryan said, glancing to the others who nodded vigorously. “Maybe a GoFundMe page, or a uhm…uhm….”
I forced a smile. “No, hey, no, it’s not a total bust. He’s offered me a lot of money.”
Ryan and Sam exchanged looks. They knew what a small business was worth. Sam spoke up. “What is a lot of money? Because if it’s under a hundred thousand…”
“It’s more than that. Like way more. If we sell them the customer list and all of our recipes it would jack the value up and net us a million.”
All four whistled softly.
“How does Mamie feel about this?” Conor asked, the sun making his gold hair shine.
“Well, we’ve not really discussed the ballpark offer he made me,” I replied as I tucked my cape under my butt so it would stop flapping around.
“She went off with Edgar and then when she came back we had our fight. See, the thing is though she hates the Brauning family. But I know for a fact that she has no real retirement plan. Just social security and that’s not much.
If we sell she would be set. No worries, no need to keep working forever just to get a few extra bucks from the government.
She could go back to France if she wanted.
She always says she would like to return home for her golden years.
I could do all that for her and have some cash for myself.
Maybe find another place to open up a new shop.
But I wouldn’t have my recipes if I sell them to Phillip.
Fuck. I don’t know. But then she and Edgar have hit it off and are dating now.
” The foursome sitting with me looked like a gentle breeze would blow them over.
“Right? I mean it’s insane but she looks so happy now.
And Edgar seems…well, he’s German like Phillip and they don’t seem to emote like the French do.
Or me for that matter but I am part French so…
” I drew in a breath. I knew I was rambling but the crack in the dam was now a large fissure.
“Anyways, so maybe she would want to move back to Europe more now. Germany is closer to France then to the states. But yeah, so they’re dating and Phillip and I kind of… ”
“Did you sleep with him?” Conor, who’d recovered faster from the Mamie and Edgar bombshell, asked. He’d probably had some sort of training on how to deal with a hysterical candymaker.
“Dude, no, of course he didn’t. He hates the guy,” Ryan quickly interjected. A dragonfly zipped past, shades of blue and green on his long body catching my eye. “Right? Haider?”
I shrugged. Ryan fell back into the grass with a groan. Sam gave me a meek but understanding smile. Conor plucked at the ripped knee of his jeans. Ben looked awkwardly at the sky.
“I think I really like him, guys,” I confessed on a whisper the wind picked up and carried skyward.
Would it reach Phillip? Did I care? Was he using sex to secure a deal?
Did I really think that or was I so scared of my future that I purposely sabotaged every man I met who showed any interest?
And Phillip was interested. I’d never had such amazing sex.
Ever. You could not fake that kind of raw passion. Gah. Had I just answered myself?
“Wow,” Ryan said as he stared at the clouds. “Do those German men have some sort of magical romance powers?”
“To be honest Phillip is quite good-looking. Then there’s that accent.” Sam looked at me and I nodded. “And no, I’m not interested in Phillip. I love Ben. But I also have two working eyes. The guy is hot.”
“ So hot ,” I sighed then tucked my feet under my rump.
“But should I let go of my dream over some sexy man? I mean all I want is a profitable shop. A house for me and the cats would be nice. I’m just so tired and stressed trying to juggle it all…
” I started to grow weepy again. “Shit, damn it. Okay, nope, no more tears. Right. Phew.” I blew out a breath.
“Also, Phillip is handsome and he knows it, and I think he knows that I know that he’s really beautiful so is he using that to his advantage? ”
“Probably. When I ran into him outside the bank he was far too metropolitan for this area,” Ryan huffed.
“So we hold the fact that the man dresses well against him?” Conor enquired and got a shrug from Sam and Ryan. “Okay, fine, so anyone not in flannel or a Fisher Cats tee is suspect. Got it.”
They fell into a heated debate. I broke into the discussion. I didn’t want anyone fighting anymore. Ryan and I seemed to be on somewhat better ground now I’d melted down like a popsicle on an August day. We still needed to sort out where his head was but we would get to that. We always did.
“I just have to think is all. Clear my head. And go into this next meeting with Phillip with a solid grasp of what I hope to do in the future.” I plucked at the edge of my cape to pull a green burdock from the hem. “The problem is I don’t know what the future holds.”
“None of us do, Haider. We’re all just bouncing along in the wake of that big old boat called destiny,” Ryan offered.
“Okay, that was deep,” Sam said to Ryan.
Conor, Ben, and I nodded along.
“Well, you have time,” Conor offered. “Think about what you hope to gain if you sell to Phillip. Make a list. Pros and cons. And talk with Mamie. As for Phillip, we can’t tell you how to handle that.”
“Since when?” Sam asked.
We all blushed. We did seem to like to get into each other’s personal affairs. That was what friends did, right?
“If you think he’s just stringing you along then tell him to head back to Germany.
We’ll help you out financially any way we can, you know that.
” Sam gave my knee a squeeze. I patted his work-roughened hand.
Then I grabbed it. “If you feel that he cares and you just blew things out of proportion because you’re in flux then maybe apologize for calling him a user?
Maybe bring him flowers and a bottle of wine. No candy.”
“Damn, that’s my go-to,” I sighed before pushing to my feet. “Okay, I feel a little better. Thanks guys. I’m sorry for crying all over our special Conor slash Jedi day. Let’s go back to the bridge. I think you three good guys owe the villain a good trouncing.”
As it turned out, a trouncing turned out to be us forgoing the lightsabers and peeling down to our briefs to jump into the deep fishing hole under the bridge.
Just like when we were kids. Ben begged off yet again.
Guess he would have to work up water sparring.
We shouted, splashed, and had epic battles with me on Ryan’s shoulders battling Sam on Conor’s.
If Mamie would have seen us she would have laughed lightly then made a comment about how inside every man lives the little boy he never truly left behind.
Being knocked off into the water was fun.
The play helped wash away the stress, even if for a little bit.
The dunking felt good. The laughter of my friends felt even better.