Chapter 8
We woke early the following morning to rain. The grey, damp, miserable day matched my mood, even though I tried to stay upbeat and focused, so that he couldn’t see that inside my heart was shattering. No amount of make-up could hide my tired, sore, puffy eyes.
Coffee was poured, toast was shared, both of us glancing at the clock from time to time, knowing that this was our final countdown.
Finally at quarter to ten, as I was unloading the dishwasher, just to keep busy, Demetri came and took the plates from my hand and closed the dishwasher door.
He reached up to my cheek and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb.
I turned my face into his palm and looked deeply into his eyes, too scared to speak.
‘It’s time to leave, Michelle. I’ll go and put the case in the car.’
I nodded and took a deep breath. Panic was starting to rise within me. Was I doing the right thing? Would I regret my choice?
The journey to Exeter airport took just over two hours and for most of that we were both silent.
The atmosphere between us felt awkward and uncomfortable.
There was a little bit of me that was pretending that he was just going away on a short trip and would be back soon. It felt easier to cope that way.
Standing in the airport bag drop-off queue was excruciating for us both. It was almost a relief when Demetri spoke.
‘I think it’s probably best if I just go.’
I nodded, blinking away the tears, just trying to hold it together for a few minutes longer before I broke down, telling myself to stay strong.
He put both of his hands on my shoulders and, closing his eyes, brought his forehead down to gently lean against mine.
‘You’ll be OK, you know.’
I smiled.
‘Yeah. We both will. It’s not the end of the world, is it? It just feels like it right now.’
‘Right person, wrong time. You’ve made me happier in the last year than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m sorry that our love story ended this way.’
‘Well, at least we’ve gone out on a high and not turned into a couple who get fed up of each other.’
‘True, although I don’t think I would ever have got fed up of you, Michelle.’
I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and tried to make a joke to lighten the situation.
‘As Whitney Houston said, I will always love you.’
He smiled wistfully, his eyes full of emotion, and I could tell that he was on the edge of tears too.
I couldn’t stop myself and flung my body against his, wrapping my arms around him, breathing him in for one last time.
‘I will never forget you.’ My voice broke as I struggled to form the words.
‘And I’ – he tilted my head upwards with his forefinger – ‘will always love you.’ He banged his palm hard against his chest. ‘You will be in here for always.’
We kissed deeply, clinging on to each other desperately, feeling every emotion of what we’d had and what we were losing. When we eventually pulled away, we both had tears streaming down our cheeks.
‘I think I should probably just, you know…’ He thumbed towards the route for passport control.
I nodded. ‘OK. It’s probably for the best. But please promise me something.’
He raised an eyebrow.
‘Just walk away,’ I pleaded. ‘Don’t say goodbye and don’t look back. Promise?’
‘Promise,’ he whispered. ‘I love you, Michelle.’
We dropped our connection, finger by finger, until we were touching no longer.
And then he walked right out of my life.