Love by Deception

Chapter 2

I t was evening when Rachanna stepped out of the grocery store, carrying a heavy bag. She winced as she shifted the bag from one hand to another. She crossed the road, entered the apartment complex and started to walk towards her block.

On the way, she greeted all the familiar faces. The complex grounds were teeming with people. A number of people were out taking a walk. Some had their headphones on. Some were taking their walk in groups, chatting with their companions. Groups of kids were playing badminton, football, and cricket in the park and around the complex wings. Some kids were also cycling. Groups of women indulged in light-hearted conversations. A group of old men was sitting under the tree near the park, laughing and exchanging stories about their retired life or about a life well-lived.

All the benches, which were placed at periodic intervals on the side of the walking track, were occupied. The occupant of one of those benches caught Rachanna’s eyes. A tall, muscular guy. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark red shorts. The t-shirt was well-fitted and showed off his hard muscles. He was leaning back on the bench, one leg slung casually over the other. His broad chest and the seemingly laidback attitude gave him an almost regal appearance. He was not talking to anyone or even looking at his phone.

Instead, he stared in the distance, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Rachanna immediately guessed who he was. He was Swarna Aunty’s grandson, the mystery man everyone in the society was talking about, the one who had set so many tongues wagging from excessive curiosity.

She was not able to see his face since he was looking in the opposite direction. But she could see his long hair with a heavy, thick tousle on the top. She could see the way he was sitting majestically on the bench as if he was a king presiding over his courtiers. He sat as if he cared about nothing. Like everything and everyone around him was only a part of a background. A background that he had no intention of interacting with.

Rachanna noted that people too avoided him. The generally talkative aunties did not attempt to strike a conversation with him. Nor did anyone from the group of old men sitting only a few feet away from him. Rachanna grinned slightly as she remembered what Usha had said. Maybe they had attempted to talk to him but had been snubbed. The very thought put her in a good mood. She so very much wanted to give the same treatment to some of the residents. In fact, she would have liked nothing better. But she lacked the courage. She did not have it in her to be rude. She could not even ignore someone. If she saw a familiar face, she automatically smiled even before her brain could decide if she wanted to talk to them or not. No, she shook her head. She could never be rude. Not with her neighbours, not with anyone else.

She had to walk past him to get to her block. She had almost reached him, still trying to get a glimpse of his face when he turned suddenly and looked directly at her. As Rachanna took in his flawless skin, intense eyes and well-built body, a wave of recognition and shock passed through her body. Her eyes widened and she froze in her tracks.

The man had only thrown a casual glance at her. But his eyes widened too as he took her in. He knew her! He had recognised her! And a new wave of terror gripped her heart.

The shopping bag fell from her hand. Packets of rice, dal , sugar, biscuits and tea spilled out from the bag. And yet, Rachanna did not move. Her eyes were fixed on the man, trying to make sense of the situation.

The man before her was no ordinary man. He was the pivot that had changed the entire direction of her life. She knew he was not aware of how much he had changed her life but that changed nothing.

In front of her was the man who had been in her prayers every single day. She had prayed every single day to never lay eyes on him again. In front of her was the man she had hoped she would never have to meet again in her life. But the Gods had seemingly failed her. Here he was! In front of her. And he had recognised her!

She felt as if she’d been struck by lightning. She had been dreading this meeting for years. She was now face to face with him!

“Rachanna…” he began, walking towards her.

“I…I…I have to go…” replied Rachanna, flustered. She looked around, wondering what she had been doing before she saw him. The scattered grocery on the ground served a reminder. She bent down and began to collect the many packets. He knelt next to her and began to help her. “Please! I don’t need your help…” Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper.

“Rachanna! Do you remember me?” He asked gently. His voice! God, that voice! Her body trembled as his voice triggered memories that seemed to wash over her.

She looked up at him. She looked into his eyes even as they bore into hers, breaking her heart into a million pieces.

She steeled her heart and said curtly, “No. I don’t.”

She saw fleeting disappointment on his face before it was replaced by something that looked like sadness. She felt bad and yet she reiterated, “I don’t know you, I am sorry.”

“Rachanna…” he said as he got up along with her. “It’s me…we’ve met before…”

“I am sorry. I have no idea. You are mistaking me for someone else.”

“Of course, I am not,” he replied. There was a slight irritation in his voice. Even anger.

“I have to go,” replied Rachanna, as she turned sharply and almost ran towards her home.

Rachanna entered her house and locked the door. She put the safety lock and put all the bolts on the door. Then she turned and sat against the door, shivering. Her breaths were coming in gasps, and she had a hard time controlling her raging emotions.

He was here! Here! In her complex! In her life! In Asmee’s life! God save her!

She had wondered several times what it would be like if she ran into him by chance. And every time she had thought about how it will pan out, she had been confident in every single one of the scenarios. In not one did she lose her cool. She even had come up with a list of things she would say to him when she met him. Everything that would reiterate to him that he meant nothing to her and that she had forgotten all about him. She always told him that she was way about everything concerning him. She had also imagined being flippant at times and, at times, rude. But never had she thought she’d lose her cool the way she had.

She cursed herself. But she could not tell her heart how to behave. It was not listening to her. Emotions raged a storm in her heart. And there was nothing she could do to control them.

She looked at her hands. Yes, she was still shivering. Oh God! He was here! It was not a casual situation where she’d run into him and he’d leave. He was here to stay! He had moved into close proximity. What if he attempted to talk to her again? What if someone saw them talking?

As the numerous thoughts and images rushed through her brain, she sat immovable in the same place for a long, long time.

Knock! Knock!

Rachanna turned and looked at the door in horror. It was him! He had followed her. The shivering was back.

Knock! Knock!

The knocks sounded loud and terrifying. She was still on the floor as she backed away from the door in pure terror.

“Mom!” She heard Asmee shout.

Rachanna gasped, relieved. She took a few, deep breaths and got up to open the door.

“What took you so long? And why do you look like you have just seen a ghost, Mom?”

“Asmee…are you done playing?” Rachanna gasped.

“No. I just came for a drink of water. I am going back.”

“Can you…can you please stay here? With me? Please.”

“Why?” Asmee wailed, looking disappointed.

“I am not well. I want you here.”

Asmee looked at her mother for a few moments. “What is wrong?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t feel well.”

“Okay,” replied Asmee in a small voice. She touched Rachanna’s forehead. “You are not sick.”

“No, I do not have a fever. I am just feeling sick. I’ll feel so much better if you stayed at home with me.”

“Okay,” she said, clearly disappointed. Then, she said, “I am hungry. Is there anything to eat?”

“I will order your favourite pizza.”

Asmee looked at her mother with shock. Then, she slowly said, “Wow… You really are sick.”

Rachanna took her phone and held it out to Asmee. “Can you please order what you want? Just select the pizza and I will make the payment.”

“Okay,” replied Asmee, as she grabbed the phone and sat on the sofa.

Rachanna looked at Asmee and felt comforted. Her shivering was gone. What would she do without Asmee? God bless that child!

Rachanna was badly shaken. She went to bed leaving Asmee to watch TV. She was almost on the verge of falling asleep when the doorbell rang. Sleep rushed away as panic took its place. He was here! He had found out about her! Her hands began to shiver again. She summoned enough strength to run out of the room to stop Asmee from opening the door. But she was too late. Asmee had already opened the door. She looked with horror as Asmee smiled at someone. Rachanna moved to look and sighed with relief. It was the delivery guy with Asmee’s pizza.

Comforted, Rachanna went back to bed. It was a full hour before Asmee finished her dinner and came to bed.

Later that night, as Asmee slept, Rachanna lay down next to her with one hand over her child, as if she was drawing energy from her child to still her racing heart.

Asmee was wearing a Chota Bheem t-shirt and shorts. Her beautiful hair framed her pretty face. She looked angelic when she was asleep. Rachanna looked at Asmee for a long, long time. How beautiful she looked! What a wonder she was! The world’s most beautiful and perfect child! The child was truly a miracle! Rachanna felt calm again. She was able to think again. And she thanked God once again for gifting her Asmee.

***

As Rachanna parked her car in the basement, she looked around. There was no one in the basement except for a few kids cycling in the far corner. She sighed with relief.

It had been a week since she had met him. Since then, Rachanna had avoided all contact with the other residents. She had confined herself to her home and office. Even when she walked back and forth from the parking lot in the basement to her house, she checked each and every turn. She checked the elevators before entering. She avoided the grocery shop in the complex, sticking to the one near her office. She even stopped going for her regular walks.

She locked the car and started to the elevator. Just as she turned one of the corners, a hand grabbed her and pinned her to the wall. Before she even saw who it was, she knew. It was him!

He moved closer to her. So close that she could feel his angry breath on her. Her heart thudded dangerously against her ribcage. Nonetheless, she found that she did not have any energy to push him away or even try to move.

“You honestly don’t remember me?” He snarled, his face close to hers.

The grip on her hand tightened. He was too close to her. Electricity coursed through her body as she fought to control her emotions.

“Please,” she begged, looking into his eyes.

He just glared back, anger flashing in his eyes, moving closer.

“What kind of a woman are you? Have you slept with so many men that you do not remember—?”

“Anirudh! Please…please…not here…”

He moved slightly back. “Aaah! So you do remember me…”

“Yes. Please leave me now,” she begged again, as she fought to get out of his grasp.

He backed slightly but still had her in his grip. “Why are you running away from me? Pretending not to know me?” He was still angry.

“I… I am sorry.”

He snapped, “I did not ask for an apology. I asked for an explanation. Why?”

She looked at him helplessly. Then she announced, “I am married. I have a daughter.”

She felt breathless from all the effort she’d put into freeing herself.

“Oh!” He replied, surprise in his voice. He released her and moved away quite a few steps. “Oh!” He said again, looking away from her. He ran his fingers through his thick black hair. She couldn’t help but notice how his hair settled back beautifully, not a strand out of place.

“I am sorry,” she mumbled again, taking deep breaths to control her raging emotions.

When he looked at her again, she felt flustered all over again. She made to move away from him when he said sharply, “Wait. I need to talk to you.”

She shook her head vigorously pleading as she whispered, “No…no…”

“Don’t worry. I just want to talk,” he said in a conciliatory tone.

“Please…no one can know about you…” she said, shaking her head again.

He looked at the plea in her eyes and yet shook his head adamantly. “No! I want to talk to you. No one else will know.”

“Okay. Not here, please. Not here. If someone sees us…”

“Okay. I stay in C912. I will be expecting you today.”

“Today? Not today. Maybe…”

“No! Today! I will be expecting you,” he said sternly. Her heartbeat accelerated. And yet, she could not help but respond to his statement. To submit to his demand.

She attempted to resist one last time. “I cannot come to your house… What if someone sees me coming there?”

“Today, Rachanna. I want to talk to you today,” he said acidly before he turned sharply and walked away. Then, after a few steps, as if he’d had an afterthought, he spun around and said, “Else I will come to you.” He turned again and with quick strides, went up the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

Rachanna leaned against the wall, still trembling. Her hands were shivering. All she wanted to do was sit somewhere for some time. She felt giddy. She closed her eyes, hoping she would not blackout. Slowly, gathering herself, she looked around. There was still no one around. She sighed. Thank God for small mercies.

***

It was around eight that night when Rachanna rang Anirudh’s doorbell. She had already fed Asmee her dinner and had asked her friend, Bhanu, to babysit her for some time. Rachanna hoped to reach back home by nine, in time for Asmee’s bedtime.

As she waited for the door to open, she felt her heart thud against her ribcage. She was scared out of her wits. She knew Anirudh would be her downfall. Exactly how, she did not know. But he was sure to be. She frowned dejectedly. As if her life was not complicated enough.

She frowned as a new thought occurred to her. What if he blackmailed her? What would she do? What if he forced her to sleep with him? A fury passed through her. If he did that, she’d kill him. Yes! She’d kill him! She heaved as her imagination ran wild. But…but then, what about Asmee? She could not go to jail. No! No, she could not. She quickly ruled out the idea of killing him. She had to think of something else.

With these thoughts running through her mind, she turned to check the corridor. There were a couple of ladies chatting at the far most end of the corridor. Rachanna knew they were looking at her…wondering if there was the opportunity of getting some gossip. Rachanna held her head high. She was not going to let them mock her situation with cheap gossip. Not that day at least.

Just then, the door opened. Anirudh was dressed in a dark blue t-shirt and beige shorts. He seemed to have just had his bath for his hair was still wet, sticking to his forehead. He looked so devastatingly handsome that for a few moments, Rachanna forgot everything else. Her heart lurched. She forgot her anger; she forgot the ladies in the corridor; and she forgot about her plans to kill him. She even forgot what she had come there for. She stood there, looking at him.

“Come in,” he invited her in. There was no smile on his lips.

“I…I can’t,” she said nervously, handing over a few envelopes. She kept her voice low so that the ladies did not hear her.

“What do you mean? What is this?” He asked, taking the envelopes in his hands.

“I can’t come into your house. There are a lot of people around. Can we please talk somewhere else? On a more neutral ground? Like the terrace? I just checked the terrace. There is no one there.”

Her words were coming out quick and seemed to tumble over each other. But just when she wondered if she’d have to repeat herself, she saw that he understood her.

He just sighed. “Fine. What the hell is this?” He asked, looking at the envelopes.

“Just empty covers. Throw them away. I needed an excuse for coming to your house.”

Anirudh rolled his eyes. “Oh my God! What the hell are you so scared of?”

She ignored his question. “I am going to the terrace now. Please come only after ten minutes. I will meet you there.”

Before he could reply, she walked away.

***

When Anirudh reached the terrace in exactly ten minutes, Rachanna was standing near the terrace wall, overlooking the large, empty ground next to their complex. All the lights were switched off on the terrace. The only illumination was from the lights in the houses below and the crescent moon.

He switched on a light. Panicking, Rachanna rushed past him and switched off the lights.

“No lights, please.”

He scowled. “Why not? I cannot see anything.”

“Your eyes should adjust soon enough.”

“What?” He asked, frowning. But he did not switch the light again.

“Look. No one must know that we are meeting. If someone comes up, I will run that way and go down the stairs of the next block before they see me. But if the light is already switched on, they might see me immediately.”

Anirudh scoffed. “What about me? If they see a girl slinking away in the dark, they will think something is fishy.”

“That’s fine. People are already saying a lot of things about you. This will not make a difference.”

“What?” Anirudh asked. He seemed neither startled nor dismayed. Just faintly interested. “Who is talking about me? And what are they saying?”

“Everyone. In fact, you have been the trending topic in conversations all of the last month.”

“I have? Wow! That’s…that’s flattering,” he said. Then, with an afterthought, added, “And…and scary. What have they been saying?”

“Many, many things. There is a rumour about a girl who visits you regularly at odd hours.”

Anirudh was taken aback. Then, realising something, he exclaimed loudly, “Bloody buggers!”

Rachanna walked towards the centre of the terrace, to the area that was between her block and the next one.

“We can talk here.”

Even in the dark, Rachanna could make out that Anirudh glaring at her. But she did not have a choice and did not expect him to understand either.

“You said you wanted to talk,” said Rachanna urgently. She had to leave as soon as she could. Why could he not understand that?

“Yeah. But why the hell are you so scared?”

Rachanna shook her head. “Let’s not go there…”

“If I have to guess, I’ll say that your husband is extremely possessive of you and has a tendency to doubt you. Am I correct?”

Without waiting for an answer, he went ahead with his deductions. “The guy is probably abusive. Maybe even hits you. Definitely doubts you…follows your every move. Perhaps, he also checks your phone behind your back. Keeps you on a tight leash. Am I right so far?”

Rachanna sighed with exasperation. “You must stop playing detective. Nothing that you have said so far is even remotely true. My husband is a gem of a guy.”

He scowled. “Then why all this secrecy?”

“What do you think? What we had…I mean, our relationship…it can never be spoken of out loud.”

“We had a relationship?” There was genuine surprise in his voice.

“I mean…whatever happened… It can never be known to anyone.”

“Fine. It won’t.”

So, he was not here to blackmail her. What an absolute relief! Rachanna sighed.

“Why did you move here?” She asked.

“I came to look after my grandmother. She lives here.”

“That’s it? Nothing else?” Rachanna asked, surprised.

Anirudh looked into her face. It was illuminated by the soft moonlight. Her eyes were wide and looked at him expectantly for an answer. He took his time. “No. Nothing else.”

She sighed. “Thank God! Look, Anirudh, we can never talk. And we need to forget about our past.”

Anirudh looked into her eyes. She saw humour dancing in his. He slowly, almost mockingly, asked, “How can I?”

“Anirudh! It has been years since…since… Please! I have a family now. I have to think about my family. You must think about your family, too. Are…are you married?”

“No.”

Rachanna cursed inwardly. What bad luck!

“But…I am sure you have a girlfriend. You don’t want what happened between us to be revealed as much as I do. Right?” She asked, her desperation apparent in her voice.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he stated acidly.

Rachanna was extremely disappointed. “Anirudh…”

“Look, I am not going to do anything. It is a coincidence that I moved into the same complex you live in. It was a coincidence that I ran into you. Don’t read too much into it. And also…I have no intention of breaking your family. I have no intention of trying to start something between us. When you ignored me and tried to pretend you did not recognise me, it completely riled me. I was enraged that you…”

“I am sorry. I truly am. But you can guess why I did that. I cannot talk to you or even be on friendly terms with you. You should understand that.”

There was no answer.

She continued, “And…and to answer your earlier question. I have not slept with so many guys that I’d forget you. I have not forgotten you. It has only been my husband and…and you. No one else. I am not who you think I am…”

“Then why did you leave the next morning without telling me?” He asked, the anger in his voice sharpening.

“I am so sorry. I got scared. I was too drunk the previous night. I should not have…not have done what I did. And it all came crashing down in the morning…and I was scared…”

Anirudh frowned. “Wait! Were you married even then?”

Rachanna gulped. “Yes! I am so sorry.”

Anirudh took a step back, ran his fingers though his hair as he stood shell-shocked. “Good gracious! You were married? God! I never thought about that possibility. You said you were not married!”

“I should not have lied to you…”

He took another step away. “Shut up! You filthy little… you… you…”

The control it took to not finish that sentence was quite telling. He came towards her and asked her, “Do you know that that night has been my most memorable night till date? Do you know that I have never fallen for a girl the way I fell for you? Do you know that I was already thinking about proposing to you that morning? How could you?”

Rachanna began to tear up. “I…I… It was only one night…”

“Yes, it was only one night. But it was enough for me to know you were the one for me. It was enough for me to realise that you and I…we’d clicked. I thought we were meant to be together.”

“I was drunk… And it was a stupid mistake,” said Rachanna, frantically.

Anirudh scoffed. “Mistake? Mistake! Over the years, do you know how many times I have wondered about why you left without telling me? I kept going over the night again and again in my mind, searching for something that I had done wrong. I was going through my every action…every word that I had spoken…I even went over what I thought during that time with you…wondering if I had displayed some expression on my face unwittingly…that would have made you leave me! I wondered if I had come on too strong. Or was I too fast? I kept wondering about what I did for you to leave me! I’ve tormented myself all these years. And you? All this while you were married! God!”

“I am sorry…”

“I was only a one-night stand to you! That’s all! And I… I was so…so crazy about you. I was almost in love with you.”

“Anirudh, please!”

“I have been with several women since you and yet…that night… I’ve never gotten past it. But it was all a lie. Right from the beginning. All of it was a lie. I thought you were falling for me as much as I was falling for you. But no! It was all a lie…”

“Anirudh…” she pleaded again, her eyes brimming with tears.

“You kept me in the dark for ten years…I have not moved on from that night. Because it was not properly finished. If you’d stayed and told me you were married…or that you were not interested…then, it would have pained me. But, at least then, I would have been able to move on. But to keep me hanging…without closure! That was torture. You! You are a lying, sadistic cheat!”

Rachanna was crying copiously by then. “I…I am sorry,” she repeated.

“All you girls are just the same. I hate every one of you! You know what? Live happily with your husband. Be faithful to him…at least from now on. I don’t want to see you ever again. Goodbye.”

Tears were running down Rachanna’s face. But Anirudh did not care. He turned sharply and left.

***

Asmee was already fast asleep and Bhanu was watching television when Rachanna returned to her flat that night. It was evident to Bhanu that Rachanna had been crying.

“Oh my God! What happened?”

“Nothing,” replied Rachanna, trying to avoid eye contact.

Bhanu did not know what had happened that night ten years ago. And Rachanna intended to keep it that way.

“Why are you crying?” Bhanu insisted as she sat next to her on the sofa. “Did anyone say something?”

“No,” replied Rachanna, sniffing.

“Then?” Bhanu asked in a very caring voice.

A fresh batch of tears made its way down Rachanna’s cheeks. She could not keep it a secret any longer. It was impossible for her to lie to Bhanu and yet she did not want to share everything. She decided to go with a partial truth. “Do you remember the guy I dated ten years ago?”

“You dated? I don’t remember…”

“When you and I went to Goa…your official trip… Do you remember we went to Romeo Street Club?”

“Oh yeah. I was sick that day. You stayed back for drinks. You met a guy there, right?”

“Yeah. It was like a date… I…I did not tell him I was married at that time.”

“Okay?” Bhanu said encouragingly.

“He is here,” stated Rachanna, her lips quivering.

Bhanu’s eyebrows shot up. “Here, meaning?”

“He is the guy living in C912.”

“Oh my God! That guy? You dated that guy?”

“It was just that one night, Bhanu. Samay asked me to go and enjoy and I just…I just thought I could have a few drinks with him. That’s all…”

“There’s nothing wrong in that…”

“He is upset. I just met him. He…he hates me, Bhanu!”

“Why?”

“He says he fell in love with me…and that I cheated on him by not telling him I was married.”

Bhanu scoffed. “It was just a date. One night. It meant nothing.”

“It seemed to mean something to him.”

“What an idiot! Forget him, Rach! Are you honestly crying for that?”

“He hates me!”

“So? A lot of people hate me. I don’t sit and cry for that. Let him hate you! So what? One less person to please. One less person to pretend to be friends with! Forget him.”

“It was my mistake. I should not have lied to him…”

“Oh God! Let it go. It was one night. One date. It’s not as if you slept with him,” said Bhanu, spitting out the words in disgust.

Rachanna flushed. But thankfully, Bhanu did not notice it. She continued, “I think it is working out for the best. It’ll be trouble only if he wanted to be friends with you and wanted to hang out with you. Now, it is all working out. You don’t have to talk to him. Let him hate you. All the better.”

Rachanna sighed. “I sometimes hate myself.”

“You are an idiot if you do that. You are a nice girl. You should like yourself.”

“He…”

“Nope,” replied Bhanu, putting up her hand. “We have wasted enough time on sentimental fools. No more talking about him. Let’s forget about that idiot. Deal?”

Rachanna sighed. Even if Bhanu did not know the complete story, she agreed with her. It was best to forget. It was better for him to hate her than be friends with her—that would have been an infinitely worse situation. She nodded.

“Are you hungry? Let’s have dinner.”

“Can we order some parotta ?” Rachanna asked.

Bhanu beamed. “Aah! I would love that.”

And they did just that.