Chapter 7
R achanna entered the park, carrying a box in her hand. She looked around and started to walk towards Asmee, who was busy playing with her friends. She noticed a man sitting on the park bench, looking at the kids playing football. She was shocked to realise that it was Anirudh. He looked so different. He had shaved his beard off.
All he then sported was a couple-of-days old stubble. And he had cut and styled his hair. It was still long but he had stylishly swept it backwards. It made a significant difference from the old ‘grow as you like in any direction’ hairstyle he had sported before.
There was a plaster on his wound, which was the only indication of the accident. He was sitting with one leg over the other. He was not reading a book or listening to music or even looking at his phone. He was sitting, looking around and basking in the sunlight.
On the whole, Rachanna thought that he looked incredibly handsome. Much more than how he had looked a few days ago. He almost resembled the stunningly handsome guy she had met ten years ago. A half smile rose on her lips as she wondered how Bhanu would react if she could see him just then.
Rachanna was still studying him when his eyes came to rest on her. She flushed and quickly looked away. God! How pathetic was she? She had to steel herself before she could look back at him. She gave him a quick nod and a half-hearted smile before looking away again. And yet, she was intensely aware of his eyes. His watchful eyes. Eyes that seemed to be potent for her.
She walked towards Asmee. The back of her neck tingled with a weird sensation. She wished for him to look away, but his eyes stayed on her. It took her all she had to not look at him.
She finally caught up with Asmee. “Asmee, you have not eaten since morning. Will you come home for a few minutes?”
“No, Amma . I am not hungry. We are playing,” she replied, not stopping as she chased another kid around the slide.
“I can see that. Can you at least have this apple? You can come home after some time.”
“I am not hungry,” replied Asmee as she laughed and ran around to climb the slide again, running away from her friend, Rahul.
“Asmee! Stop running. First eat this and then play.”
Asmee did not listen to Rachanna. She kept running.
“Asmee! Stop! It’s been hours since you’ve had anything. Will you please eat this apple and then play?”
Asmee stopped and looked at Rachanna. Her shoulders drooped as she came near her mother and drawled, “Oookay.”
Rachanna took a slice of the apple and fed it to Asmee. Asmee ate hurriedly. Clearly, she could not wait to get back to the game.
Rahul suddenly came towards her and Asmee’s eyes widened. “I am not playing right now. I am on waiteez…” she screamed through a full mouth.
“No!” Rahul said, rushing towards her. “There is no waiteez in this game.”
Asmee crammed the last slice of apple into her mouth and ran.
Rachanna called after her, “Asmee. Finish that apple first!”
Asmee did not listen. She ran with all her might before, a few feet away, she suddenly stopped and clutched her throat. Rachanna dropped the box as she ran towards her daughter who was struggling to breathe.
“Oh my God! What happened?” She asked as she tried to get Asmee to open her mouth to look inside.
Asmee was struggling and it was very difficult to get her to do anything. Rachanna struggled as she held Asmee and tried to look inside her mouth. Unable to do that, she put her finger inside the child’s mouth to dislodge the slice, which seemed to be stuck in her throat. It only made things worse. The apple moved further down her windpipe and she struggled harder.
Rachanna screamed for help. “Someone help! Please! Someone help. Get a doctor. Someone get a doctor!”
Asmee tried to cough but was not able to get the apple slice out. She was about to fall when strong arms pushed Rachanna aside. It was Anirudh. He knelt on one leg next to Asmee, picked her up and put her over his knee upside down. Her stomach resting on his knee, he pushed her head down and gave a resounding slap on her back.
Rachanna gasped. “What the hell are you doing?” She screamed as she tried to push him away and get Asmee to her. But he was too strong. It hardly made a difference to him what Rachanna did. He continued to give Asmee hard slaps on her back.
“Oh my God! Are you crazy?” Rachanna screamed again.
Anirudh gave another slap on her back. The apple slice dislodged from her throat and Asmee spat it out. She coughed vigorously as Anirudh pulled her up. Tears streamed down Asmee’s face as she looked from Rachanna to Anirudh, gasping. Rachanna was crying with relief. Asmee gasped again and she moved to hug Rachanna tightly.
Rachanna’s entire body slumped against her daughter’s, filling her with immense relief.
***
Asmee had just had her bath and Rachanna was drying her hair with a towel. Rachanna was still pretty shaken from the incident in the park earlier that day. She was terrified. Her whole life had flashed in front of her eyes in those few seconds. What if something had happened to Asmee? Just thinking about it broke her heart and gave her unbearable pain. It had been unbearable to lose Samay. But even in that terrible pain, she had never lost her will to live. She’d lived for Asmee.
But if something had happened to Asmee… There was nothing else in her life. There was no purpose in living. She was as good as dead. She suddenly understood what Anirudh had said.
I would have died a hero. My life would have had some purpose. I had lived to protect that girl. Now what do I have? Nothing. No purpose in my life at all! What is the use of living? What is the use of my life?
His words made a lot more sense to her. She wondered about his life. Was his life so purposeless? Was his life as bad as it would have been for her if she lost Asmee? Her heart went out to him.
“Mom.”
“Hmm…,” replied Rachanna, her throat still choked up.
“I don’t think Anirudh Uncle is a bad person.”
Rachanna’s eyes teared up. She was unable to reply. But Asmee wanted an answer from her mother. She looked up at her expectantly, forcing Rachanna to reply. With a catch in her voice, she said, “I…I guess not. He seems okay.”
Rachanna’s heart thudded. She was crossing dangerous territories. She was letting her daughter talk to Anirudh! She was beginning to let him inside her life again. A number of scary scenarios rose before her eyes.
Asmee grinned. “See? I told you he was a nice person.”
Rachanna quelled down all her fears and forced herself to reply, “Hmm…”
“Can I visit him at his house? I want to learn that magic trick.”
“No! No going to his house. If you see him in the park or somewhere else…you can talk to him. That’s all. Am I clear?”
“Okay. He is teaching football to a few kids. Can I also join them?”
Rachanna nodded. “That should be fine.”
Asmee moved away to get dressed, and Rachanna looked at her hands still holding the towel. They were shaking. Her innumerable efforts to keep Anirudh out of Asmee’s and her life had repeatedly failed.
***
Rachanna looked at the long corridor carefully. There was no one. She took a couple of moments to gather courage before she took the turn to walk into the corridor that led to Anirudh’s house.
She stopped in front of his door and gulped. Every cell in her body was screaming for her to run away. She watched, feeling like a spectator in her own body, her hand move towards the calling bell and ring it.
Her heart thudded as she waited. It was several minutes before the door opened. Or maybe it only felt like several minutes to her.
Anirudh was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and beige shorts. A look of astonishment swept across his face when he looked at her. But it was only a fleeting reaction. He assumed a nonchalant expression as he looked into her eyes.
Rachanna wanted to explain herself but somehow, was unable to. His gaze was doing something to her insides. It was as if he held a mysterious power over her. Like he had cast a spell on her again. Maybe Asmee was right. Maybe he really was a magician.
Without a word, he moved aside to let her in. With absolutely no willpower to do anything on her own, she moved inside as he shut the door behind her. A pleasant smell emanating from him broke whatever defences she had up. She remembered the smell vividly. It was earthy. It was masculine. And it was gut wrenching.
She took a deep breath in and let the smell fill her up. It went straight to her head and made her dizzy. She quenched down her emotions, moved away from him and turned to face him. Remembering that she had better control over herself when she was not looking into his eyes, she extended the box towards him, her eyes firm on her hands.
“What is this?” He asked in a gruff voice.
She still refused to look at him. She looked at his shirt as she answered, “This is a small thank you.” Her arms were still stretched towards him.
He ignored the box and the fact she was still holding it out to him. He repeated, “What is this?”
She had to look at him. She looked into his eyes and answered, “Eh…a cake.”
His eyes focused on her intently. Rachanna was reminded of the look of desire in those very same eyes that had haunted her for days. It had been these very eyes. The same, intense brown eyes…
“What cake?” He asked.
“Plum cake.”
“Like the one for Christmas?”
“Yes.”
“Where did you buy it from?” He asked as he ran his fingers through his hair.
She shook her head. “I didn’t… I made it.”
There was a flicker of tenderness in his eyes; the look disappeared so suddenly that she doubted if she had seen it at all.
“Come in,” he said gruffly.
She went inside and placed the box on the dining table. She looked around at his house appreciatively. The house was expensively furnished. Large white couches adorned the living room. An exquisite coffee table of the darkest brown colour rested in the centre. There was an assortment of books next to a plant that served as the centre piece. Thick white curtains on the windows were pulled back, bathing the living room in the evening sunlight. Throw pillows, lamps, rugs and pots of plants added a splash of colour to the white living room, giving it a very beautiful and cosy vibe.
The wall behind the couch was adorned with pictures of family and Rachanna took a few moments to take the pictures in. A large photograph in the middle was Anirudh’s family portrait. His parents were sitting on the couch and Anirudh and his brother, Akhilesh, were standing behind them, their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders. Rachanna’s heart pained as she looked at the photo. Anirudh had been so happy. In fact, everyone looked so happy and peaceful. Until tragedy had ripped them apart.
“Nice house,” she commented.
There was no reply. Anirudh came out of the kitchen with a knife and a couple of plates and spoons. He opened the box and cut the cake. He took a slice for himself.
“I don’t want it,” she said as he was about to cut her a slice.
He shrugged and sat down at the table. She took a chair opposite his and waited.
“How is your arm? Does it hurt?” Rachanna asked, looking at the plaster on his arm.
“No. Healing.”
“Oh good.”
He took a bite of the cake and chewed very slowly as if savouring the taste.
“How is it?” She asked.
“Not bad,” he replied.
A flicker of disappointment passed across her face as she nodded.
“Tastes very different. First time, though,” he said.
She lifted her eyebrows. “First time for what? Eating a plum cake?” She asked sarcastically.
“First time someone’s baked me a cake in a very long time.”
She did not know how to react to that information.
He continued, “Maybe that is why it tastes different. What do they say? When something is cooked with love, it tastes different…”
“No!” She exclaimed, shaking her head. “No. No love. Maybe a bit of ‘care’. ‘Care’ that says ‘thanks for saving my daughter’. That’s all.”
He cocked his head to one side as he looked at her with slight amusement in his eyes. “That’s all I get for saving your daughter? A cake?”
Rachanna flushed.
“What do you want?” She asked carefully.
He shrugged. “At least a kiss.”
Rachanna sat still, staring at him. “Do you want me to leave? Is that it?” There was a harshness in her voice. But it failed to have any effect on Anirudh.
“No at all,” he replied flippantly.
“Then why would you so brazenly ask for something that you know you are never going to get?”
He looked puzzled. “Do I know? No. Most definitely, I don’t know. I was actually hoping to get what I asked.”
“Seriously, Anirudh!” Rachanna exclaimed. “Do you really think that is a possibility?”
“Why not? What do you want to do? Ask you out and then date you for about six months before I make a move? To whisper sweet nothings to you? To make efforts to impress you by buying you sweets and flowers and treating you to expensive dinners? Or do you want me to impress you by acting like a good guy? Come on! I know you.…” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I have slept with you!”
“So?” Rachanna asked, anger flashing in her eyes. “So? You thought you could get a kiss anytime you liked just because I have slept with you?”
Anirudh went silent for a few moments as he devoured a few more bites of the cake.
Then he looked into her eyes and asked, “Don’t you ever think about that night?”
The look of desire was back in his eyes.
Rachanna flushed heavily. “I… I… No, I don’t.”
His eyes narrowed. “Really?”
She flushed again.
He said in a low voice, “To tell you the truth…after I met you here, that night is all I can think about.”
Rachanna was exasperated. “Anirudh! I was trying to be friends with you…”
“I don’t think that is ever possible—to limit what we have to just a platonic relationship. If that is what you are hoping to do, I will have to ask you to stop putting in any effort. That is plain impossible.”
“You know we cannot be anything other than friends.”
“Why not?”
“I am married!”
Anirudh chuckled, mockingly. “For heaven’s sake! You are not married. You are widowed. There is a difference.”
“I have a child.”
He gave her a hard stare. “Is that what you do when you are scared? Hide behind that child? How long have you been using her as a shield?”
“Enough!” Rachanna said, getting up from her chair. She was breathless. “I am sorry I thought this was possible…”
“You were mistaken. It is not possible, Rachanna,” replied Anirudh, shaking his head.
“So what? It is either all or nothing for you?”
Anirudh shrugged. “Exactly. I don’t want anything in between.”
“I am leaving.”
“Good. Let me know if you change your mind. You know where to find me.”
“Get lost!” Rachanna screamed before she stormed out of his house, banging the door behind her.
***
Later that night, Rachanna was sitting in her balcony. She had a cup of ice cream in her hand. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she was dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She was sitting in the dark and looking at the sky.
Don’t you ever think about that night?
Rachanna’s heart raced just thinking about it. It was not an ordinary night that she could forget. It was a night that had completely changed her life. Of course, she remembered it. Though she did not remember every single bit of it, she remembered most of it.
And when she met Anirudh earlier that day at his house, she was reminded of the moments of that night more vividly than ever. He looked almost the same after all. He had probably put on some weight on his chest and arms but that was about it. He had the same sharp jawline. He had the same devastating smile. And he had the same eyes that shined exactly like they did a decade ago, each time he pulled her leg.
But above all, it was his fragrance; it had the hardest effect on her. It was not the smell of a fancy perfume or a cologne. It was him. It was his masculine smell that Rachanna found the hardest to ignore. It was overpowering. And it was the one thing that she remembered very vividly from that night.
When he had asked her for a kiss, it had taken an extraordinary amount of will power to scoff at the idea and not turn into a flushing, quivering mass. She was doing everything she could to not give in. She was still paying for the last time she gave in to him. She really did not have to learn that lesson all over again. Also, this time, Rachanna reminded herself, Asmee could be the one who would end up paying the price of her misdeeds.
To tell you the truth, …after I met you here, that is all I could think about.
Rachanna flushed as she recalled the words and his look. He had looked at her exactly like he had looked at her ten years ago. His gaze had been intense. As if his eyes could bore into her and look into her soul. It was magnetic. And came with a sort of yearning. Yearning for her! She flushed all over again.
She sighed. It was going to be a long, long night.