Chapter 18 #2
“Hey. Glad you were able to come over.” I wanted to hug her, but I wasn’t sure what she’d think of it.
“Hi. Yeah, sure. We said we needed to talk, so here I am,” she said with a nervous laugh when I held the door open for her to come in.
“Where’s MJ?” she asked, gripping her purse like it was a lifeline.
“She’s staying with Katy tonight. Luke and Sofia invited her to stay at their empty cottage for her last few days,” I said, walking into the kitchen. “Water or kombucha?”
“Huh?”
“Would you like water or kombucha?” I asked again, standing with the refrigerator door open. When it started to bing in protest, she snapped out of wherever she’d drifted off to.
“Oh, sorry, water’s fine, thanks.” She eased her purse onto the counter. It was clear she was nervous and she wasn’t alone. I’d been thinking all evening after saying goodbye to MJ and Katy about what I wanted to say.
I handed her the cold bottle, and she nodded her thanks. I needed to find out why she was so tense.
“Come on, let’s go sit outside. It’s a beautiful night.”
She followed me out and sat down on the chair opposite the patio sofa. I watched her cross and uncross her ankle a few times.
“Miles, I need…”
“Vicky, I wanted to…”
We chuckled and I said, “Please, can I go first?”
“Sure, sorry.” She sat back and seemed to relax somewhat.
I cleared my throat and took a big swig of my own water, noticing hers was still unopened on the glass table in front of her, condensation already forming in the unusually warm evening air.
“Vicky, so much has happened in the last few months. Moving here was the best decision I’ve made for MJ and me. I’ve loved seeing her surrounded by family. Wish I had done it sooner.” I adjusted in my seat and went on as she listened intently.
“Then I walked in one evening to find you standing in my daughter’s bedroom. I gotta tell you, you stunned me. Not only because you’re beautiful, but you were listening to everything MJ was saying. Little did I know that you had just taken a picture that I will cherish for the rest of my life.”
For the first time since she entered the house, I saw the Vicky I had come to know. Her genuine smile lit up the now darkened space.
“Miles, you were the inspiration for that photo. All I did was capture it,” Vicky protested.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. Like I’ve told you before, most people would have missed that small detail.”
“Thank you, again. It means a lot to me when my vision is appreciated.”
I couldn’t help feeling like I was having a conversation with Vicky the designer, not Vicky the woman I was falling in love with, and I needed to change that.
“Vicky,” I said, taking her hand in mine across the table that separated us, her eyes fixed on our joined hands. “I need to say this before I get too nervous to say it right.”
Her amber eyes jumped to mine and softened slightly.
Rubbing my thumb over her soft knuckles, I said, “Like I was saying, you’ve swept into my life and honestly, knocked the wind right out of me. I wasn’t expecting you. You’ve made me feel things I haven’t felt for so long I wondered if I ever would again.”
“Miles…” she said softly.
“Wait. Please. Hear me out. I never want to hold you back or make you feel like you can’t chase your dreams. I want to be the one cheering you on every step of the way.
I need to know, though, are you feeling this too?
This deep connection? I see it when we look at each other.
When I hold you, I feel it, but I need to hear you say it, Vicky. ”
Her eyes bounced between mine, her lips twitching like she was holding back her words. My pleading eyes must’ve been enough for her to speak. When she opened her mouth, I braced myself for possible rejection. Again.
“Miles, there’s no way to deny this pull I feel toward you. Deny that every time I’m with you, I hate to leave, then count the hours til I get to see you again,” she said with conviction. Her words made my heart feel like a balloon that was about to burst with joy.
With a huge smile I could hardly contain, I said, “That makes me incredibly happy.” I wanted to laugh, cry, yell at the top of my voice, “she likes me too!”
We’d have to take it slow. There was the question of her visa. More importantly, I had to be careful with MJ and her expectations because regardless of what happened, Vicky’s career would be a priority.
“Wait, let me finish. First, I need to hear that you talked to Katy.”
“I did. I told you before, and nothing will ever change the fact that she and I will never get back together. She’s seeing all she’s missed and is trying, really trying with MJ.
That’s all. In fact, she had a lot to say about what she sees between us,” I answered, gesturing my finger between her and myself.
Vicky’s brows furrowed, and I wanted to reach out and smooth them.
But I knew if I touched her now, I’d never get everything out I wanted to say.
She needed to know my feelings before we moved any further.
I wasn’t ready to say the words, as Dad had suggested.
Not yet, anyway. But I wanted to make it clear to her that I was interested in more than just friendship.
“That’s surprising,” she said, huffing out a laugh.
“I thought so, too, but she was sincere. Katy understands now that you mean a lot to me. But I don’t want to talk about her tonight. I want to talk about you. And me,” I said, pouring all my feelings into the way I was looking at her, hoping she was feeling it.
“Wait, Miles…”
“Please, you said you’d let me talk first. I just needed to hear that you felt what I felt before I continued.”
I stood up, and she had no choice but to follow since I hadn’t let go of her hand.
Walking over to stand beside her, I saw the conflict in her eyes.
Maybe I was reading her wrong all this time, despite what she’d just confessed.
My heart raced. I couldn’t stand another rejection, not from her, but I needed to take the chance and speak my heart.
“I don’t want to just be your friend anymore.
Yes, I want to be the friend you can continue to share your dreams with, share everything about your day, about your family.
I know you want to travel and focus on your career.
I want that for you, too. So much. I’ll never ask you to stop doing those things.
I’m just asking, well, asking if you’d let me be the one beside you while you do it. ”
There. I’d done it. Laid my heart bare for her to see. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was letting her know how much she meant to me.
Tears flowed down her face in rapid succession, which made my heart beat even faster.
“Wait, why are you crying? Listen, if you don’t feel as strongly as I do, you can tell me,” I said as I pulled her into my arms.
She murmured into my chest something about impossible dreams. She sniffled and looked up at me, eyes full of tears, but I saw it. Saw that she felt the same way. Would she deny it?
“Miles,” she choked out. “Yes, I feel the same way. Like I said,” she hiccupped, “I love being around you. Love that I can be myself. I feel like I’ve known you for years, not less than two months. It’s crazy, like something out of a book. Yes, I feel so many things about you.”
I kissed her forehead, forcing myself not to think about kissing her. If I did, I’d have to hold myself back from stealing her first kiss, something that I’d dreamed about more than I’d ever admit.
“It’s all so much, so soon,” she whispered. Alarm bells were ringing in my head at those words; the same words Katy had used. But I chose to ignore them because these two women were completely different, and so were our circumstances.
Vicky pulled away just enough to look up at me comfortably, even though I still held her around the waist, not willing to let go just yet. “What am I supposed to do now?” she asked, her brow furrowing again.
“Now? Now we figure out how to balance spending time together--alone and with MJ, and figure it all out,” I answered.
“Miles.”
“Listen, you’re doing great at work, getting more clients weekly. So proud of you, by the way. There’s no way Elena is going to let you go,” I said confidently, my smile wide.
When she closed her eyes like she was in pain, I realized there was something not right.
“What’s wrong? Did she say something about not extending your visa?”
“It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” she said quietly, opening her eyes and looking at me.
“Tell me what?”
She took a step back, pulling her hand from mine, making me frown.
“Miles, Elena called me on my way home. She’s offered me a full-time position,” she said, her voice shaking.
I huffed out a huge breath of relief. She wasn’t leaving.
“That’s amazing news. Congratulations!” When I went to hug her again, she shook her head.
“In Rome. She offered me a permanent position in Rome. I leave in two days.”