7. Jude
Saturday, October 14th
Her face is in my hands, her lips parted slightly.
She’s rubbing the fabric of my collar between her fingers, her eyes hidden beneath her delicate lashes. I don’t know how we got here, but I’m not fucking complaining. One second I’m on all fours trying to coax a guinea pig out from under her fridge, and the next we’re connected.
It wasn’t just me feeling this pull; it was Lucienne too.
“Do you want to kiss me? Because I kind of really want to kiss you. Is that too forward?” she whispers, her cheeks turning a rosy pink.
The question rolls over me like warm honey. Feeling her cheeks burn in the palms of my hands makes me lean in to her. She gasps as her back arches to accommodate the way my hips are pressed against her.
My dick strains against the seam of my jeans. The sudden friction and her small puffs of breath washing over me. It’s driving me fucking crazy.
Oh, I want to do more than kiss her.
I close my eyes and press our foreheads together. Not like this. I won’t kiss her like this. She can’t think I came here tonight under false pretenses—for something physical and then leave. I have this gut-wrenching feeling that’s been done to her before, and it makes me nauseous.
She needed help, so I came here to help.
And yeah, I wanted an excuse to see her again.
Any excuse, selfishly. And she gave me one.
But when I kiss her, it’s going to be after I show her that she deserves to be treasured. Because this isn’t a fling for me, a pretty face I’m pining after. I’m beginning to really care about her. I like her more than I’ve liked anyone in a long time. That has to mean something.
I want more with her. More of her.
My heart is racing, making me lightheaded. She wiggles against me and sharply inhales as she clasps her hands behind my neck, pulling me toward her. A groan rumbles deep in the back of my throat as my hands find her waist.
“Yes, I want to kiss you, but I won’t. Not yet. I want to do this right,” I whisper, swallowing hard.
She whimpers.
Christ, please make that sound again.
“What does that mean?” she whines, scraping her nails at the base of my neck.
“Be patient, beautiful. Patient. We’ll know when it’s right, yeah?”
I’m trying to focus on what I’m saying and the thread of control keeping me from throwing her on the counter and tossing her leg over my shoulder, but I push against her on my last word.
I know she feels how badly I’m aching for her. She pulls me toward her again, her breasts flush against my chest.
“What if it’s right now?” she sighs.
I hedge. “With both of us in the midst of a very intense guinea pig rescue? It’s not exactly what I envisioned,” I chuckle, brushing my lips along her jaw.
She lets out a soft hum, an airy giggle, angling her neck to the side, giving me easier access.
Fuck, I need to pull away, but I can’t. I have to pull away as if my life depends on it.
Maybe it does.
I force my body to relax, untangling us from one another and taking a step back. “I need to—I need to pace myself with you, Lucienne,” I stammer.
“Jude, if you don’t want to it’s—it’s fine. I just thought you did…” she responds, folding her arms across her chest.
I can see the hurt on her face. Her brows pull in at a downward angle and she’s curling in on herself.
She thinks I’m rejecting her.
Maybe she thinks I’m second guessing this whole thing and decided I’d let her down gently. Now I’m starting to feel the prickle of frustration down my spine. I clench my jaw and step toward her.
This woman.
I place my hand on her cheek and catch her bottom lip, dragging it down with my thumb.
“Oh. Oh, I want to. I’m wound so tight, I could kiss the fucking breath out of you. But I didn’t come over here for that and I don’t want you thinking I did. And if we’re going to do this, I want to do it right. I want to treat you right.”
She stares at me, completely stunned.
Good.
That makes two of us because I cannot believe I just fucking said that out loud.
She got me riled up and I just wanted to tell her what was bouncing around in my head. She needed to know how desperately I want to be with her.
To know her and feel her inside and out.
The air is crackling around me. We’re in a tension-filled standoff. As I regain control over my thoughts, we both hear little feet scraping against the tile floor. She sinks to the floor just as Greta flops onto the plate and starts nibbling at the carrots. Lucienne scoops her up and cradles Greta to her chest.
“Greta! You sneaky thing, you’re going right back in your cage.” She rushes past me and heads down the hallway.
Wheek! Wheek! Wheek!
“Yeah, baby, I know. I was scared too.”
Once she’s out of view, I lean my back against the counter and let out a heavy exhale. Lucienne isn’t the only one embarrassed now.
Fuck, I couldn’t just hold my tongue.
I couldn’t keep my thoughts to myself for another damn second. I can hear her bare feet slapping down the hallway, so I stand upright and cross my arms.
Chill out, Jude.
When she sees me, she bites her bottom lip where my thumb had just been. She licks it with the tip of her tongue and tilts her head to the side, looking me over.
Well, she’s either going to kick me out or throw herself at me. I almost want both to happen, but I don’t see how that would work. Definitely not in that order.
“I’m glad the carrots seemed to work.” My voice sounds gruff, still thick with lust.
A look of amusement paints her face as she strolls back into the kitchen.
“To be fair, I didn’t get a chance to mention that carrots are her favorite snack. If those hadn’t worked, I may have had to call in the fire department. They rescue cats stuck in trees, so rescuing a guinea pig from under the fridge would be no big deal.”
I guess she needed a brief distraction, just enough time to decide what would happen next. The tension has eased between us and, when she smiles at me, another piece of something falls into place.
“The guinea pig rescue was a success and you only needed to call on one lifeline. All in all, it worked out. Hey, I’ll, uh—I’ll head out, Lucienne. Let you get back to your night.” I motion to the front door and her expression changes.
I need to remind her, need to reassure her. She walks with me to the door and before I leave, I turn to her.
“Let me do this right? We’ll find the right moment together, beautiful.” Slowly, I wrap an arm around her waist and twist one of her curls around my fingertip. She pulls her lips together in a coy smile, playing with the top button on my flannel.
“Until the right moment then,” she whispers, a smile tilting her lips.