Chapter Twenty
Amariah
Hot water streamed over me, but my thoughts refused to settle, causing me to finish quickly and get dressed.
Usually, a nice hot shower would do the trick after an eventful day, but my stress levels had to be off the charts because not only was it not helping, but my head was pounding, still swimming from the previous night when Aaron came through here and wreaked havoc on my life.
Aaron Baker was a smooth, high-powered attorney whom I had met at a meeting with one of our top clients.
When he waltzed into the conference room, his presence was magnetic.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him if I wanted to, and Lord knows, I didn’t want to.
The same was true for me. The moment our eyes collided, it was as if we were the only two people in the room.
After the meeting, Aaron pulled me aside, and we had a friendly, flirty conversation that ended with him getting my phone number.
Two weeks of phone calls and texts turned into our first date, which led to many more dates, which in turn led to a relationship, and eventually…
an engagement. But much had happened since the day I’d promised him forever.
And now, he was here in Skye Ridge, shattering my present and possibly my future.
My mind kept replaying my silence. I’d wanted to speak, but shock—and Aaron—had stolen my words.
When he blurted out that he was my fiancé, I was so livid that my brain and all my motor skills went on the fritz.
The hurt on Jacob’s face will forever be etched in my mind.
If I knew Jacob like I was positive that I did, hurt had snowballed into anger, and I was probably the last person he wanted to see.
Scratch that. He probably never wanted to see me again.
If I were in his shoes, I’d feel the same way.
The last thing I wanted was for him to leave, but I knew it was needed because I had to deal with my messy situation.
Aaron wanted to talk, but I was so livid, I refused. He had already bogarted his way into my life and my parents’ home; he didn’t get to dictate when we had a discussion. Nor was he going to upset my father with this negative energy, especially while he was still on the mend.
That’s why I was now on the road to face the man who’d blown into town and turned my peace upside down.
The wind howled against my windshield as I drove up the winding road toward Skye Ridge Lodge and Suites.
The same road that once held memories of snow-lift rides with Jacob and our friends now felt like disgust and dread.
Aaron showing up unannounced and confident, claiming a title that no longer belonged to him, had ripped open a wound I thought had scarred over.
I needed to make it clear, once and for all.
When I reached the lodge, the twinkling lights and snow-capped trees made the whole place look too cheerful for the conversation I was about to have.
I sat in the car for a long moment, clutching the steering wheel, my breath fogging up the glass.
Then I grabbed my gloves and made my way inside.
The lobby was buzzing with guests dressed to enjoy the winter activities the lodge offered.
The entire place smelled like fresh wood, and the faint instrumental of “O Holy Night” played through hidden speakers.
There was nothing holy about the night Aaron Baker was about to have.
When the receptionist greeted me, I asked her for the nearest elevator to Room 215.
She pointed me toward the elevator or the stairs.
Given how crowded the elevator bay was, I opted to take the stairs.
Besides, my adrenaline was pumping so fast, I needed something to calm the steam before I blew a valve.
When I rapped on the room door, Aaron beckoned me inside.
The lodge was a refurbished log cabin, so the doors were standard wooden doors that could be opened from the outside when unlocked from the inside.
Aaron was easy to spot. He was lounging in the sofa chair near the window, dressed in a dark sweater and slacks, perfectly put together, like always.
When he saw me, he stood, his smile small but sure.
“Amariah,” he said softly, “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
“I didn’t want to,” I replied, crossing my arms. “But you came to my parents’ house, so you didn’t leave me much of a choice.”
He exhaled, gesturing for me to sit. I didn’t.
“I didn’t mean to ambush you,” he said, his voice smooth and careful with his approach. “I just…missed you. And when I found out you were back home for Christmas, I thought maybe—”
“Maybe what, Aaron?” I interrupted. “That you’d show up, drop the word fiancé, and I’d fall right back in line?”
He flinched at my tone but didn’t retreat. “I shouldn’t have said that, but I needed to get your attention. Sending flowers to your office every week only to receive a thank-you note from your assistant obviously wasn’t doing the trick. You stopped answering my calls, my messages—”
“Because I walked away,” I bellowed, my voice cracking sharper than I intended. “And we both know the reason I did.”
He stepped closer. “No, you paused it. Your exact words were that you needed time. You never said forever.”
I laughed, but it came out hollow. “That’s because you never gave me space to say anything else.”
Aaron looked at me, the way he always did when he wanted to win me over. His eyes were soft; his mouth tugging into that half-smile that once worked like a spell. “I made mistakes,” he said. “I was too focused on my career, on appearances, but I love you, Riah. I never stopped.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, teeth clenched, and irritated by the nickname he consistently used that I absolutely hated. “My name is Amariah,” I bit out between clenched teeth.
He lifted his hands in silent surrender. “My bad. I’m sorry, Amariah. It still doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”
“Love doesn’t look like control, Aaron.” I squared my shoulders. “It doesn’t feel like having to explain every decision, every outing, every outfit. It doesn’t sound like ‘we’ll talk about it later’ every time I had something to say.”
He sighed, dragging a hand over his neatly trimmed hair. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I was wrong. I was scared of losing you, scared of not measuring up, but I’ve had time to think, and I can do better. I can be better…for us.”
The sincerity in his voice should’ve moved me.
Once, it would have. There was a time when his words held the power to make me bend to his every desire and request. He was skillful at it, both professionally and personally.
But the issue was that the strength of words only lasted so long without action.
Action was what made a person’s declarations stick.
And lately, I’d been around a man whose actions stood ten toes down on his words.
Words that made me feel seen, not managed.
Aaron reached for my hand, but I stepped back. “Aaron, I’m not the same woman you proposed to a year ago.”
“Then tell me who you are now so that I can love you properly.” His voice held on to the hope that we could somehow turn this around.
I met his eyes, feeling the sting of truth burn deep within. “Someone who knows that this doesn’t feel like forever.”
The damage of my words physically jolted him backward like I’d taken the air out of the room. “So that’s it?” he whispered painfully. “After everything we’ve built?”
“What we built,” I scoffed softly, “was a relationship that looked good for pretenses but suffocated me in real life.”
I could tell that what I said jarred him.
He’d never seen this side of me. For far too long, I’d been too quiet about my feelings.
It was all because I was too scared to rock the boat, and honestly, it was because I was too worried about losing a love that was just enough to sustain me, even if it wasn’t enough to satisfy me.
Because that’s what placeholder love did—fed your emotions, but not your soul.
To his credit, Aaron meant well in his own way. As much as I didn’t want to hurt him, he came wanting an outcome, so he was getting one. It just wasn’t the gift-wrapped present he expected. But it was the truth.
He blinked hard, his jaw tightening. “Does this have something to do with him?”
I didn’t answer. The situation with Jacob wasn’t his concern because this wasn’t about him. This was about me and how I had been feeling in this relationship with Aaron. It was as if he couldn’t fathom that I was willing to walk away for me without there being someone else.
Aaron’s mouth twisted into something bitter. “You think he’s different, Amariah? You think he’s going to love you better than I do?”
“I don’t know,” I said, holding his gaze, “but I know I want a relationship that doesn’t make me feel that I have to shrink who I am to be loved.”
For a long time, neither of us said anything. Our silent breathing competed with the steady tick of the antique clock hanging on the wall. Finally, Aaron nodded, a quiet, defeated motion with tears brimming in his eyes.
“I don’t know how to let you go,” he murmured, his voice breaking with each word. “I won’t stop fighting for you. Fighting for us.”
“I should go,” I said, my voice trembling.
It broke my heart to see Aaron this way. I’d never meant to hurt him. At his core, he was a good man—a little misguided, but good. And for that, I was sorry.
He turned away first, walking toward the window and gazing out at the lodge’s winter wonderland without another word.
I stayed there, rooted, watching the man I once vowed to marry drift off quietly, consumed with his internal musings.
There was nothing left for me to say. I turned, easing out of the door as easily as I’d entered.
When I pulled the door closed behind me, I finally exhaled.
The ache in my heart lifted, only to be replaced by another kind, the one with Jacob’s name written all over it.
Because in trying to end one chapter, I might’ve just ruined the chance to begin another.