Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter
Twenty-Four
Jacob
It was no surprise that Amariah hadn’t shown up at the store in days.
It was upsetting because I’d gotten used to the assistance, and since we were technically managing the store together, it helped with decision-making.
Not that I felt I needed her to for that, but she was the one who’d inserted herself into her father’s business and forced me to accept it.
Old feelings of distrust crept inside, knowing she’d abandoned her post…
abandoned me. However, leaving was the only predictable nuisance Amariah had, so I’d get used to it…
again. Besides, the days without her presence gave me a chance to recoup from the blows she kept delivering to my heart.
Even though I was hurt, I knew she didn’t owe me an explanation when it came to her love life.
Technically, we weren’t together, but she couldn’t convince me that she didn’t feel the same way I did.
I saw it in the way she peered into my eyes as if she were seeing my soul.
I saw it in the way she reacted to my touch when goosebumps would pebble on her arms. I saw it in the way her spirit would light up at the gifts I gave and the gestures I made.
I felt it in the way our hearts connected when she allowed me into her sacred garden.
The Eve to my Adam. Since I knew these things, I also knew that she could’ve told me… that she knew she needed to tell me.
I hadn’t been a hundred percent convinced that Aaron was telling the truth about being her fiancé, but having him reiterate it to me in front of my friends and then seeing them huddled up together in the restaurant pretty much solidified his story.
I think what hurt worse than having him toss the truth in my face like I was some stand-in for hire was the fact that she didn’t trust me enough with the truth.
After we’d come so far. I thought we had turned a new corner, only to end up back at square one.
My boys kept telling me to have the conversation with Amariah, at least. I knew they were right.
If anything, this time, we would have real closure, and perhaps, I could move on with my life and find the person who was meant for me instead of pining away over a teenage love that never materialized.
I made up my mind to try to have this talk with her this weekend.
Once we put a cap on the situation, we could both move on.
Or rather, I could move on, and she would move back to D.C. to her life…with Aaron.
As I stood at the hardware store counter reviewing the inventory, an eerie feeling coursed through my veins.
Any time my Spidey senses began to tingle, I knew that my day was about to get…
interesting. When I looked up and peered out of the store’s window, I knew exactly why my senses were ringing a five-star alarm.
My weekend plans to talk with Amariah had been expedited to today.
She was here. Now.
I had to admit I was shocked that she actually had the gall to show up.
After she saw my reaction to her and Aaron tucked into a corner booth, holding hands like a couple rediscovering their lost love, I should’ve known that she’d show up to do damage control.
I wondered if this was a trait of the new Amariah.
Wreak havoc. Activate clean-up. Move on.
I wasn’t prepared to hear it.
Not today.
Tomorrow or even Sunday, with time to prepare my mind and my heart, yes.
Perhaps she was visiting one of the other shops instead of coming to the store.
I could only hope. But as she drew closer, I knew she was headed this way.
I buried my face into the inventory report, not wanting to watch her approach, hoping that would buy me a few moments to gather myself.
That act of cowardice didn’t help. I felt her presence before she entered.
And then it happened, the swoosh of the air from the open doors, her soft footsteps slowing, and a long inhale like she was building the same courage that I had hoped to prepare for as well.
“Jacob?” she called out. Her voice was gentle. Too gentle.
“Yeah?” I said on an exhale, still not bothering to give her my attention, divided or not.
She walked toward me with that careful mix of determination and hesitation, and it was only then that I gave her my consideration.
Today, she looked…tired. Not physically.
Her countenance just seemed worn thin. Like she’d been carrying emotions she didn’t know where to put.
Like she was preparing to let me down with care.
A care that wouldn’t matter in the grand scheme of losing the love of my life…
to Aaron. Did I really need to hear her drive the point home when the nail in the coffin was still stuck in the restaurant’s table where they held hands?
“We need to talk,” she said timidly. “Please.”
I closed the textbook-style inventory binder I’d been pretending to read. “About what?” Rather than wait for the sting of disappointment, I ripped the bandage off. “Looks like things between you and Aaron are already pretty clear.”
She blinked, her neck jerking back slightly, and her expression faltered. “Jacob, it’s not what you—”
“Not what I think?” The words came out harsh and bitter. “Well, I know what I saw. You and him holding hands,” I cut in, so angry I couldn’t even say his name. “I didn’t imagine that. Just like I didn’t imagine him calling himself your fiancé and you not correcting it.”
She winced. “I know what it looked like, but you didn’t stay long enough to actually—”
“Nah, it seems I overstayed.” My voice snapped sharply. No matter how I tried to quell my hurt and anger, it spewed out, and now, I was on a roll. “I stayed long enough to recognize history…and the future when I see it.”
The store went quiet except for the hum of fluorescent lights. She looked at me like I’d knocked the wind out of her.
“Jacob…that’s not fair.”
“Fair?” The word burned hot on my tongue. “What’s not fair is you allowing me to get my feelings involved beyond friendship, knowing you had a whole fiancé back in D.C. So, what was I, huh? Some pit stop while you figure out what version of your life you want?”
Her breathing hitched, barely noticeable unless someone knew her as well as I did.
And I knew her too well. Before she could speak again, the door to the back room swung open, and Koby stepped out holding a box of new winter gloves.
His eyes darted between us as he stared at her sad face with red eyes and my clenched jaw, and he froze like he’d walked into the wrong movie scene.
Embarrassment and apology lingered on his expression.
Amariah’s shoulders tensed. “Koby…what…why are you coming from the employees-only room?”
I rubbed a hand over my jaw. “Because he works here now.”
She blinked. “Come again?”
“I hired him as a full-time employee.” My tone was definitive, with no remorse. “This past Sunday.”
Her mouth parted, and not in a pleased, supportive-partner way. It was more like I’d told her I bought a brand-new sports car on a whim. She was trying to maintain her composure, but I could tell she was ready to blow a fuse. And I couldn’t care less because so was I.
“Jacob,” she said slowly, “we cannot afford a full-time employee right now.”
“Well, I can, and I will cover the costs.”
I’d never tossed my wealth at anyone. It wasn’t who I was, but I knew whenever she found out about Koby that she’d protest because of the store’s shaky finances, but that was something I’d already accounted for.
My plan had been to explain Koby’s situation to her and let her know that I was going to pay him under the table.
Given the current situation, my tone came across as rough and condescending because I was reacting from personal emotions rather than business acumen.
“That’s not the point.”
“It’s exactly the point. Koby lost his job. He needed something steady. It was the right thing to do.”
Her voice rose. “But you didn’t even ask me.”
Challenging her, I straightened fully erect, folding my arms across my chest. “Would it have changed the outcome?”
She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “That’s not the point either!”
Behind us, Koby shrank physically, as if he wished he could dissolve into the concrete floor.
I felt horrible. I hadn’t meant to blurt out his business nor make him the scapegoat for our problems. He was going through enough, and it wasn’t fair for his best friend to make him collateral damage in an argument that had less to do with him and everything to do with my and Amariah’s contention.
I turned to him. “Man, can you take over the front for a bit?”
He nodded too fast, no doubt happy to be out of the crossfire. “Yeah…yeah. Of course.”
Refocusing my attention on Amariah, I gestured toward the back office. “Let’s talk in private.”
Her eyes danced from me to Koby. Her eyes softened apologetically at him before she glanced back at me with a mix of venom and offense marring her features.
She marched ahead of me with the stiff posture of a woman determined not to combust in public.
The moment the door shut behind us, she whirled around.
“You’re constantly trying to fix everything for everyone else,” she snapped. “Well, I can’t let you do that in this situation. It’s not sustainable.”
Her words were a slap to the face. “What is that supposed to mean, Amariah? I’m only trying to help a friend who needed me.”
“And what about what we need?” she countered, her words held more weight than she was revealing. She swallowed roughly, her voice finding a sense of calm. “What about the store? What about making decisions together before leaping headfirst into things that affect both of us?”
As I stood there staring at her, I didn’t know what pained me more, the audacious claims or her audacity itself.
Irritation and offense blurred into one indistinguishable feeling.
“So now it’s ‘we,’ huh?” My voice was low.
“Funny, considering Aaron. Seems like he’s the one who should be making these decisions with you. Not me.”
Her face twisted in pain. “Jacob, stop. That’s not—”
“It’s not what? Like you have a whole soon-to-be husband?”
She pressed her lips together, trembling with the effort to hold herself together. “I came here to apologize. To explain. To make something right that I didn’t mean to go wrong. And instead, you…you just keep hammering at me like I’m the problem.”
I swallowed hard. Emotion balled in my chest so tight it hurt to breathe. My next words were barely a whisper. “Maybe we are both a problem to each other.”
She flinched as if I’d gutted her. Tears flashed in her eyes, and immediately, I regretted what I’d said. God knows, I didn’t mean it, no matter how angry I was. I went to apologize, but she interrupted me before I could say another word.
“Fine,” she breathed. “If that’s how you feel, then I don’t know what else to say.” She cleared her throat. “You can take care of Koby. I won’t intervene.”
“Amariah—”
Instead, she turned on her heels and stalked to the door. Her steps faltered, and she hesitated for the briefest of seconds, looking back at me one last time. Her eyes were still glossy but fierce, like a final conviction.
“Aaron isn’t my fiancé. I didn’t choose him,” she said, “but you already chose your version of me that you wished to believe.”
The words landed heavy and true, leaving me stunned speechless.
She hadn’t chosen him? My mind scrambled to take in everything she’d said while my heart galloped out of control.
Confusion and a gamut of other emotions pulsed through my veins.
In a matter of seconds, I went from shock to disbelief to realization to relief, and settled somewhere between remorse and shame.
My lips parted, but before I could respond, she stormed out.
And just as I had eighteen years ago, I let her go.
I just let the door close behind her. Let it close on us.
I’d been so stupid not to allow her to simply explain it.
Instead, I assumed the worst of her and, out of fear, reverted to the old Jacob.
I realized then that she wasn’t the only one dealing with past trauma.
It was time I dealt with mine, so I could try to salvage any type of relationship between us, even if I had to accept that friendship was all she would offer me.