Chapter Twenty
Marcus
The way the conversation between Zamora and me ended, left me feeling a little somber. So, I drove to Eliana’s, hoping to lift my spirits by being in her presence, but she wasn’t there. After waiting a little while for her, I decided just to head home. What I really wanted to do was head back to the hotel and hang out with Zamora, but I knew that wasn’t a great idea, especially considering I was now an engaged man. I often wondered what could’ve been if I hadn’t been so stubborn. Fuck!
She didn’t want to break up. Hell, neither did I, but I let my selfish pride get in the way. Now, I was locked in with a woman who did not compare to Zamora or what we once shared. I needed to find the time to sit and have a talk with Zamora. It might sound crazy to say after all these years, but I needed closure––something to help me ease the guilt I felt for still loving her even though I had proposed to another woman. How was any of this fair to Eliana? She didn’t deserve a man who only loved her with half his heart. I needed to get myself all the way together before I ended up making the second biggest mistake of my life. The first big mistake was letting Zamora get away.
I needed to be upfront and honest with Eliana. I didn’t want things to be complicated, but I didn’t want to be fake with her either. This was weighing on me heavily. It was time for me to search my heart for what I wanted for my future because I didn’t want to fuck up again. Admitting all these truths to myself made me feel horrible inside. I didn’t want to hurt anyone but knew I’d break Eliana’s heart with my truth.
I called and texted Eliana again since I hadn’t heard from her since seeing her earlier at the hotel, but by the time she called me back, I was already in bed and too tired to drive back to her place. I assured her I would see her the next day. I told myself I would go to Eliana’s the next morning before she started her day. I wanted to tell her what I was thinking face-to-face and let her know I needed a little space. In my opinion, giving someone that type of news over the phone or via text was heartless, and that wasn’t me. Therefore, I’d get up early and go by her place before going to my shop, where I hadn’t been in weeks because business with the hotel had taken up all of my time. I had a little project I had been working on for months that usually helped me clear my mind when my thoughts were heavy, and I was looking forward to getting back to it.
After showering and downing a couple of cognacs on the rocks, I got into bed and lay in the dark, trying to focus on my bride-to-be. I tried to reminisce on our courtship and recall when Eliana gave me butterflies, but strangely, I couldn’t remember. I replayed our love scenes in my mind and realized we hadn’t shared much passion during those moments. Suddenly, I started questioning why I even proposed to her.
“Damn, muthafucka, what is wrong with you?” I said to myself, sitting up in bed.
I met Eliana a little over two years ago. Six weeks ago, I proposed to her. Two weeks later, I ran into Zamora, and today, I was overwhelmed with regret. Just when I thought I had moved on, seeing Zamora set me back a decade. There was no denying it; I was still in love with her.
“Damn!” I shouted and got back under my covers.
It was no use in trying to fight it. I had to act on it. Again, hurting Eliana was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to be honest with all parties involved.
I had to tell Eliana goodbye, confess to Zamora that I never stopped loving her and wanted another chance, and give my parents substantial notice that I would be leaving the company. Yes, for me to be completely happy in my truth, it would involve hurting my parents, too. It was all a huge risk, but it was finally time for me to have the courage to fight for what I truly wanted.
The next morning, I got up early to make it over to Eliana’s before she left for work. I called her to let her know I would be by but got her voicemail again. Since it had been hours since we spoke, I was starting to wonder if she still felt some type of way about Zamora helping me with changes to the hotel’s menu even though I had included her in the meeting. Refusing to wrack my brain any longer about it, I headed to her place to provide answers if she had questions and to ask a few questions of my own.
When I pulled up to the light a block from her place, I saw her on the porch. I watched as she locked her door, walked down the porch steps, and headed to her car. I silently cursed the light, wanting it to hurry and turn green so I wouldn’t miss her. Then I saw her open her garage door. I released a breath and relaxed, thinking she was about to pull into the garage. But when her vehicle’s reverse lights came on, and she started slowly backing out of her driveway, I raised an eyebrow. Around the time that the long-ass light changed, I noticed a dark SUV pulling out of her garage. Not wanting to draw attention to myself by causing the cars behind me to blow, I pulled over a few feet away to the right and parked across the street. I watched the truck pull out. Next, a man got out and walked over to her driver’s side. In a state of disbelief, I stared in their direction as she lowered her window so he could lean in and kiss her. Then, with a smile, she gave him a flirty finger waved goodbye. After he got back into his vehicle, she pulled away, passing me on my left without noticing me. The SUV pulled out behind her, also passing me on my left. I caught a glimpse of his license plate in my rearview mirror. RUSH 1? A honking horn jolted me out of my trance.
Convinced that my eyes were deceiving me, I called her again and again and again. I did not want to believe I had seen my fiancée kissing another man. After my fifth attempt, I pulled into her driveway, exited my car, keyed in the code to open the garage, and entered her home. The smell of bacon hit my nasal passages as soon as I stepped inside. I headed to the kitchen to find two of everything in the sink. The plates had been rinsed but not placed in the dishrack. Nothing else was disturbed, so I headed to her bedroom to do more sleuthing. Their essence still lingered in the air, and her bed had been stripped of its linens. The shower walls were still damp, but no towels were hanging to dry. When I returned to the first floor, I heard the washing machine. It sounded as if it was on the spin cycle. Feeling as though I had been punched in the gut, I fell back onto the wall. It was clear to me. Eliana had spent last night with another man.
I grew angry, but why? I was coming over to declare my love for another woman, so why am I pissed? I asked myself as I headed for the door to make my exit.
I lowered her garage door and started laughing when I got into my SUV. I laughed so loud and hard that my eyes teared up. I was mentally cheating on her while she was physically cheating on me. This was like a scripted movie, but it was happening to me.
After getting my laughter under control, I grabbed my phone and texted Zamora. I’d deal with my fiancée later.
Me: What’s on your agenda for today? I need to talk to you.
Zee: Two back-to-back events. Is everything good?
Me: Yeah, everything is everything. What time will you be done?
Zee: Well after nine. After the bridal shower, there is cleanup to do.
Me: Can I see you later tonight?
Her response didn’t come right away. I kept staring at the three dots in the bubble. Then, after a ten-minute gap, she replied.
Zee: It may be after ten.
Me: That’s cool.
Zee: Okay, but do you think the hotel is a good place to meet? I don’t want no drama.
Me: Trust, there won’t be any drama at all.
Zee: Okay. I’ll let you know when I’m headed there.
Me: Sounds good. See you soon.
With that, I went about my day feeling fiancée-free lighter.