Round Thirty-Five #2
“No. I’m absolutely not mad at you, buddy. It was an accident, and my only concern is making sure you’re okay.”
Luciana stops in the doorway, shyly linking her fingers together and hovering with uncertainty. Coming in? Going? She looks to Ollie, her eyes widening when another boy from her past transforms into a full-grown adult, then she looks to me and swallows.
Coming? Going? She has no clue.
“Are you mad at Maggie?”
I bring my focus back to the Caster pair, Jeremy’s question pinging in the back of my mind.
“Cos she thinks you’re gonna be mad at her, Dad.”
“No. I’m not mad at her either.” And yet, Billy’s voice turns impossibly hard. His eyes sear, and his jaw flexes with the words he refuses to voice. “But I’m mad at myself.”
Jeremy’s brows pinch closer together. “Why are you mad at yourself?”
“Because if I’d stayed home instead of leaving you with our next-door neighbor so I could go on a dumb date, you wouldn’t be here with a burned arm.” He pushes higher and presses a kiss to Jeremy’s forehead. “I’m so sorry, buddy. I lost focus.”
“No, Dad—”
“I knew it was a bad idea. Right from the start.” Settling back on the stool again, he uses Jeremy’s palm to cup his own cheek. “It’s important we always follow our instincts, buddy. And mine have been saying since the start not to listen to Maggie.”
“Billy,” Ollie growls, folding his arms and stopping three feet back. “Be nice.”
“I am being nice.” He forces a smile just for his son. “I won’t be going to any more of my meetings, okay, bud? I promise.”
“But, Dad—”
“I gave it a good go. I tried. But now it’s done.”
I roll backward and sit up, twisting and setting my feet on the floor. Nerves hammer in my veins as I smooth my shirt down and tuck my hair back. My palm throbs, a deep pain pulsing with every pump of my heart. “I’ll go.”
“No, wait!” Jeremy tears his hand from Billy’s and reaches out for me. He tangles his fingers in the fabric of my sweater, stretching the material and popping threads as he yanks. “Don’t leave, Maggie.”
“It’s time for me to go.” I tamp down the bubbling ache in the base of my throat and gently, so very carefully, pry his little fingers away from my clothes.
“But your dad’s here now. And Ollie will be here all night.
” I fake a smile and look toward my old friend six feet away.
“He said he has to stay all the way until six o’clock tomorrow morning, so no matter how late you’re here tonight, he’ll be here the whole time. ”
“I don’t want you to go!” Fat tears dribble from Jeremy’s bright green eyes. “Please stay.”
“Let her go.” Billy reaches across and pries his hand from mine. “Maggie deserves to go home, buddy. She’s entitled to clock off now that I’m back.” His eyes stop on mine. “And since we didn’t even stay long enough to receive our menus, there isn’t really much to debrief about.”
Aka: Get lost, and don’t come back again. We’re done with you now.
“Yeah.” I play with my sweater and drop my gaze.
But I’ll be damned if I don’t smile anyway.
It’s small and phony and about as successful as my flailing business.
“I’ll see you through my bedroom window, okay Jeremy?
” I clamp my lips shut, or risk the sob currently battering my chest. Leaning over the bed, I press a kiss to his forehead.
“You should ask Doctor Darling for a pudding cup. I heard from a reliable source that you won’t even have to wait for the cart lady.
Doctor Darling keeps them in his coat for moments exactly like this. ”
Ollie chuckles, digging a hand into his pocket and coming out with a cup of jelly.
“No pudding tonight, but I have one of these.” He wanders around the bed and stands by my side.
Setting the cup on crisp white sheets by Jeremy’s thigh, he reaches in again and produces a small plastic spoon.
“You can eat this now if you want, kiddo. Maggie.” Changing his tone in an instant, he wraps his hand around my bicep and tugs me along. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Magnolia?”
My heart thrums and sputters, thundering in my chest as Ollie and I come to a stop by the door. I peek back and meet Billy’s tortured stare.
He’s going to say goodbye.
He always says goodbye.
Even when we’re fighting and he’s in a bad mood, he always says goodbye.
“Thanks for calling me when you did.”
“It’s—”
“If you’d listened when I wanted to talk to you earlier, this wouldn’t have happened.”
I snap my lips closed and lock my wailing heartbreak inside the tight confines of my chest.
He’s pissed—he’s always pissed—but he’s grown, too. He’s evolved. Instead of shouting in my face and telling me to fuck off, he’s able to land his blow and make it sound almost polite.
Dropping my gaze, I nod and turn toward the door. “Yeah.”
“This way.” Ollie leads me past Luciana and into the hall, then he turns left, along the corridor, and past the nurse’s station. Rather than walking me straight through the front doors, he cuts left again and shoves me into an unoccupied room.
“What are you—”
He slams the door and tears the curtain across for privacy, then he snatches my hand, flips it over, and snarls at the blistering welts I’ve yet to acknowledge.
Even to myself.
“Got you too, huh?” Hard blue eyes viciously judge me. “Your palm is a metaphor for the shit you allow Billy to pull. What, you figure if you ignore the pain long enough, it’ll go away on its own? Sit down,” he growls, pushing me toward the bed. “I’ve gotta get more supplies.”
“Ollie, no—”
“I won’t tell him you’re still here.” He stops at the curtain, his fist wrapped in the ugly, lined material. “But you need to know he loves you.”
“Stop—”
“He was shattered when you set him up on another date tonight. Seriously crushed. I won’t demand to know what the hell you two have going on in private, but I know what I know. He loves you, and you love him.”
“Ollie—”
“You’re both more stubborn than a couple of drunk mules.
But I refuse to stand by and risk two broken hearts because maybe you didn’t know how he felt.
So here it is, Maggie. Now you know, and now I know you know.
Billy Caster is an asshole. He lacks healthy communication skills and is terrified of admitting his feelings for fear of losing you the way he lost Aria.
Those are his flaws, but we love him anyway.
You’re insecure, unsure, and even when you straighten your spine and argue back, it’s never actually about real things, is it? ”
“I…” I swipe the tears from beneath my eyes. “What?”
“This is a small town, and Barlespy isn’t that far away.
If you think someone’s cousin didn’t already talk to someone else’s sibling, who talked to their friend, who happens to be Ramone’s sister, who then told Ramone about how they saw you wearing a cute little apron at the diner in the next town over, then I feel kinda sorry for you.
I guess you forgot how strong the grapevines are around here. ”
“You…” My jaw trembles. “Y-you know?” My eyes whip to the right, though there are two or three walls between me and Billy. “Does he—”
“He doesn’t know, and just so you know, Ramone had a thing with one of the servers there a while back, and unlike Billy, he’s not an asshole, so maintaining friendships with the women he’s bedded long after the sheets have cooled is totally his MO.
Billy and Ramone tend to swing through Barlespy once or twice a week for work, but since you hadn’t mentioned Brienne’s diner to anyone around here yet, but you’re so loud about your love business, Ramone figured it might’ve been a sore spot, and he didn’t wanna make shit worse, so he found a new place with pretty servers and crappy coffee.
But he’s waiting, Maggie. Waiting for you to own up to your shit and air it out already. ”
“Own up to what? That my business is a complete friggin’ failure?
That my most successful event ever was the one at Alana’s bookstore, and that success had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with Alana and the girls?
Or should I own up to the fact I survive on the tips from Brienne’s, slinging dishes at least five days a week in a whole other town, because I’m too embarrassed to sling dishes here, where everyone from my past would see me? ”
“Everyone from your past already knows. Everyone except Billy.” He glances left. Right. Then as he brings his eyes back to mine, he shrugs. “I don’t see anything to be embarrassed about, though.”
“Says the freakin’ doctor! I’m not surprised you can’t relate.”
He scoffs. “All those people from your past? Tommy and Chris? They swallowed more bugs in their childhoods than they swallowed food, cos they were so fucking broke and abused, they had no other choice. Alana…” He shakes his head.
“You don’t know bravery until you’ve watched her stand up to the people from her past, especially when her private life was splashed on national television and the world found out who Franky’s sperm donor was.
Rose turned up to town earlier this year and didn’t even know her name.
No money, no belongings, nothing. She faced the people from your past with blindfolds on, and with that same blindfold on, she kicked ass and clawed her way out of hell.
You think she likes seeing that shitty little nursery on the outskirts of town, where the owner doesn’t know fuck all about what he’s selling, but overcharges for it, anyway?
You think she hasn’t already built a business plan around that place, knowing she could do it a billion times better, but she’s too embarrassed to say anything, just in case she fails?
She’s terrified to pour herself into her new idea, which would mean letting Troopy down when she’d inevitably have to quit, because what if it all goes to shit anyway? ”
“But—”