Chapter 17
Audrey
This is so fucking stupid. Who in their right mind does this?
After I hugged Tyler outside the office, I was starting to feel okay. Like I could do this, no problem. I was being so brave.
Now, we’re standing in the hangar for the safety briefing, and a cold, nervous sweat is beading in all the places sweat can bead.
“Any questions?” Jeffrey asks cheerfully.
My hand flies up. When he nods at me, I ask, “Has anyone ever thrown up while mid-fall?”
His grin widens. “You’ll be fine.”
I swallow hard, not at all comforted by his answer.
Jeffrey claps his hands. “Alright, ladies. Let’s get your suits on, and we can take off.”
A whimper involuntarily leaves my lips as I pivot and follow the group farther into the building. My stomach is in knots at the thought of what we’re about to do.
After our encounter at the office, Tyler’s kept his distance.
On the one hand, I appreciate that he hasn’t acted like we’ve been seeing each other because my mom already has questions that I didn’t know how to answer besides telling her we’re friends.
But on the other, I very much want him next to me, touching me, reassuring me.
I glance over my shoulder and find him walking a little ways behind me.
My heart skips a beat when I catch him with his gaze fixed on me.
The sheepish grin he wears at getting caught has butterflies taking flight in my stomach.
It makes me regret that I didn’t just admit to my mom that there’s more than friendship between me and Tyler.
Biting my lip, I face forward and walk over to where Jeffrey indicated. He hands me a jumpsuit and a few instructions. I nod and join my mom to put it on.
“Audrey, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this!” My mom’s enthusiasm extinguishes some of my fear.
I zip up my suit and force myself to believe my words when I say, “This will be fun.”
Mom laughs. “I know you’re nervous, but these guys seem great and very knowledgeable.” She glances over my shoulder with a smirk. “And Tyler is quite the looker. All those muscles.”
She wags her eyebrows, and I can’t help but laugh, even if I reprimand her in a hushed tone. “Behave yourself.”
Jeffrey and Max join us and help us into our harnesses.
Tyler’s standing off to the side, chatting with another man I haven’t met.
His arms are crossed over his chest, and he runs his fingers over his chin as he says something that makes the other man chuckle.
My mom isn’t wrong—Tyler really is a looker.
If I didn’t have a harness being tightened around my upper thighs, I might have pressed them together from the flash of arousal that runs through me.
His stance shifts, and his stormy eyes find mine when he looks my way.
They narrow as they take in Jeffrey when he tightens and adjusts the straps of my harness in ways that, in any other context, would be slightly inappropriate.
Tyler’s jaw tenses, and he says one last thing to the man without taking his eyes off me and Jeffrey, before stalking toward us.
When he’s a few inches from us, Jeffrey tightens one last thing and pats me on the shoulder. “You’re all set, Audrey.” He points to the man Tyler was talking to. “Our captain’s ready. Weather is looking perfect. It’s time to go.”
Giddy, my mom claps her hands, causing Jeffrey to chuckle. She takes off out of the hangar with Max and the pilot, practically skipping toward the plane waiting on the tarmac.
Tyler levels his gaze on Jeffrey. Before Tyler can say anything, Jeffrey holds his hands up. “Don’t worry, man. Your girl’s in good hands. I won’t let anything happen to her.”
My cheeks heat. I wring my hands in nervousness and embarrassment. “Oh, uh, we aren’t—”
Tyler interrupts me, “I’m holding you to that.”
Jeffrey smiles and turns to join the others on the plane. Tyler’s hand goes to my lower back, and I take deep breaths as we follow behind.
“Audrey, you can tell Jeffrey at any time before you jump that you’ve changed your mind and don’t want to do it.”
I nod through the breathing exercise that I’m trying to perform to calm myself. “I know.”
Ahead of us, Jeffrey jogs up the few stairs and disappears into the plane. Tyler grips my arm gently, stopping me. As I turn toward him, his stare is filled with longing and concern, and my stomach dips. He brushes a stray hair out of my face that came loose from my bun.
“I really want to kiss you right now, but I won’t.”
I bite my lip to hide my smile. “I want you to, also.”
He growls his exhale. “I’ll be waiting here on the ground for you, mama.”
Desire, hot and instantaneous, blasts through me to the point of feeling dizzy.
The adrenaline from what I’m about to do probably helps, too.
Before I can turn away, Tyler presses a quick kiss to my forehead, then he spins me and nudges me toward the stairs.
Jeffrey’s smirking at me from the door, but thankfully, I can’t see my mom.
I climb the stairs on shaky legs. Jeffrey helps me onto the plane and into a seated position between his legs. He buckles us in, and the plane starts moving. As we pick up speed, my grip on the harness tightens until my knuckles ache, but I can’t let go.
As the plane lifts, I feel lightheaded again. Jeffrey shifts behind me, and his voice is close to my ear when he says, “I promise, you’ll be okay, Audrey. Just take deep breaths, and you’ll be back on the ground with Tyler in no time.”
The humor in his voice makes it obvious he knows we were trying to keep our relationship a secret. I throw an amused glare over my shoulder, and his laugh shakes against my back.
Max leans closer and yells over the engine. “Which one of you ladies is going first?”
My mom and I lock eyes. She grins and looks back at Max. “I’ll go first.”
He nods and says something to the pilot that I can’t hear. Hooking the harness holding my mom to him, his lips move some more before my mom nods vigorously and they start moving toward the door.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” I mutter on repeat until a hand grips my bicep.
The duo lines up at the doorframe, and my mom tilts her head back, resting it on Max’s shoulder like we were instructed. I hold my breath as they tip forward, and a second later, they’re gone.
“Okay, Audrey. This is the time to tell me if you can’t do this.”
I suck in a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, visualizing falling through the air and successfully landing safely on the ground and being greeted by Tyler with a hug.
My eyes pop open, and I exhale, blowing out the edge of fear enough to be able to call back to him, “I want to do this. I’m ready. ”
“Hell yeah, let’s fucking do this.” His voice is so full of exhilaration that it’s infectious.
Within seconds of his exclamation, we’re at the door. He yells for me to tilt my head back, and I do as instructed.
And then, we’re falling. I have a moment of panic as the initial rush takes my breath away, and I struggle to get air back into my lungs. Jeffrey notices and talks me through taking deep breaths.
Once I feel back in control, I’m able to focus on what’s happening.
The blue sky surrounds us as the wind whips around us.
The feeling of weightlessness has a laugh bubbling out of me.
It’s so different from what I thought it would feel like—less like a roller coaster and more like a gradual floating, as if we are being held up by invisible strings that are slowly lowering us to the ground.
“Just a little further, and we can pull the chute. Do you want to pull it?”
I shake my head adamantly. I appreciate the offer, but the thought of being responsible for that is too much for me to handle right now.
I stare out over the horizon, and a euphoria I never thought possible curls around my senses.
The last few months come rushing back to me, and the tingle of emotion starts in my cheeks.
My mom’s diagnosis has consumed me. Taken over my life and categorically changed the trajectory of it.
Hating how inconsiderate that thought is, I remind myself that if this is how I feel, I should think about how my mom feels.
But she doesn’t feel like me. Well, not that she’s admitted to me anyway. She’s said she feels resigned to whatever the outcome is and that she hates this mostly for me rather than her, even though it’s her life on the line.
It’s those thoughts that make me hate my dad even more. He’ll never understand what it’s like to be so selfless and to be loved by someone as much as we love each other.
He deserves every bad thing I hope will happen to him.
But Tyler doesn’t.
That thought pops into my mind just as the slight jerking motion from the parachute being released pulls me into an upright position. My heart clenches, not from the fall, but from the guilt of what involving him in this crusade might do to his life.
But I know there’s no way I can give him up yet. He won’t want me eventually, that I’m sure of, but right now…I want to enjoy the way I feel around him. No matter how short-lived it is.
“Do you want to do a spin?” Jeffrey calls out.
Without hesitation, I nod. We begin a slow spiral down as Jeffrey expertly steers us to the landing spot. I enjoy these last few moments of the fall and my adrenaline high.
The ground gets closer as Jeffrey stops our spins and angles us to the grass. I spot the other parachute in the field and internally sigh in relief that my mom landed safely.
Hopefully, we can do the same.
I start to feel a little woozy as we barrel toward our landing spot. Jeffrey yells out for me to prepare for landing like they told us in the training. Seconds later, our feet bounce onto the ground, and I almost lose my footing, but Jeffrey pulls me to him to keep me upright.
“Here comes your man.”
Jeffrey’s amusement has my head popping up to see Tyler jogging toward us, a wide smile on his face. When he’s almost even with us, my harness is released, and I sag into his arms as I re-acclimate myself to being back on the ground.
“You did it, Audrey! How was it?” Tyler hugs me to him.
I open my mouth to answer him and immediately turn to the side, throwing up all over his shoes.