Chapter 26
Audrey
Izip up my hoodie as we walk across the field, my mom looking around excitedly. She’s still feeling pretty good since starting chemo, besides being tired and losing more weight, so I thought we’d knock another item off her list.
“Oh my god, Audrey. Look at those little babies. I think maybe we should buy a farm.” Mom tugs on my sleeve and points to the pen of baby goats.
I laugh and tease, “Maybe wait until one of them poops on you while you’re in Savasana before you decide to dedicate your life to the goats.”
She smacks my arm. “Oh, you’re no fun.”
Rolling my eyes, I point to what appears to be the registration desk. “Come on, I think we need to go over there.”
We go check in and are given our mats. As we walk into the area the instructor indicates, we set up our mats to wait for the class to begin.
With a huge smile, Mom sits cross-legged on her mat. “I’m so excited we’re doing this. Thank you, honey.”
I return the smile. “You’re welcome. I’m excited, too.”
The look on her face tells me she has something else on her mind. I have a feeling I know what it is.
“Spit it out, Mom.”
I didn’t think it was possible, but her smile widens even more. “I was just curious if you’ve seen Tyler lately.”
My cheeks heat, and I press my hands to them.
When I left him this morning, after having sex one last time when we woke up, I told him I’d see him tomorrow at work.
He begged me to come back tonight, but I said I couldn’t.
When the door closed behind me, I regretted telling him no, but it was probably for the best.
His words while we were driving to his house echo in my head.
But all he wanted was fucking money. How selfish do you have to be to just barrel your way into someone’s life and demand money?
I’m no better than his dad. I’m doing the exact same thing, just in a very different way.
If he didn’t hate me before, this will surely be the thing that makes him.
That alone should make me hesitant to be with Tyler.
But I can’t tear myself away. He’s the first selfish thing I’ve wanted in a very long time.
I know later I’ll pay for this. But right now…
I want to enjoy this for as long as I can.
“I’ve seen him, yes,” I admit.
She nods, approval shining in her eyes. “Good, I’m very glad to hear that. I know I didn’t talk to him much, but I really liked him.” She stretches out her legs. “The way he took care of you while you were puking on his shoes was very sweet.”
I flop back onto my mat with a groan of embarrassment. “Oh my god, Mom. Why did you have to freaking remind me?”
“Oh, stop. It was adorable. He was so worried about you. I was surprised he even let me drive you home.” She laughs. “I honestly thought he was going to insist that he take you.”
My blush deepens even more when I think about what happened when he came over that night. But despondency battles the other feelings when I remember what led to us having sex. I swallow those feelings, not wanting to go there when we’re having fun and my mom is happy.
To give Mom something else to keep up the jovial spirit, I confess, “He actually came over later that night to check on me. He brought me ginger ale in case my stomach was still upset.”
The look on my mom’s face removes any negative emotions that started to creep into my heart. She’s basically swooning when she cries out, “Audrey! That’s the sweetest thing ever.”
I stare up at the blue sky. Puffy white clouds create a halo above us. The cool spring air makes everything feel crisper, more vivid. “It was pretty thoughtful, wasn’t it?”
Mom lies back on her mat, matching me. “It sure is.” Both of us take a few moments to relish the tranquility of the day around us. Then Mom says, “I’m happy for you. I hope it works out with Tyler.”
I roll my head so I can look at her. “Thanks, Mom. I’m starting to hope that too.”
That’s probably the most truthful statement I’ve made about me and Tyler’s relationship. I am starting to hope that. No matter how unrealistic it is.
She looks at me, squinting from the sunlight. “The three of us should have dinner soon. Or maybe four if we invite Jennifer. I know she’ll want to meet him.”
“That’d be really nice. I’ll talk to Tyler about when he’s available.”
Mom reaches over and clasps my hand in hers. Her soft skin comforts me and brings me a peacefulness that I so desperately need.
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath as I pull my phone out of my hoodie pocket after goat yoga.
I have multiple missed calls and texts from Joe. It’s Sunday. I don’t know why he needs me on my day off.
“Everything okay?” Mom asks as we stand and start to make our way back toward my car.
“Oh, uh, yeah. Just work stuff. I need to drop you off at home and run to the hospital for a few. Is that okay?”
Mom wraps her arm around my shoulder. “Of course, I have some reading I want to do this afternoon anyway. I picked up a few new books from the library.”
“Okay, good. I can call you when I’m done to see if you need dinner.”
She waves me off. “Don’t. I’ll be fine. I have plenty of things to eat for dinner. Besides, I’ll be going to bed early since I have chemo tomorrow.”
I agree to leave her be tonight as I drive toward her house. My thoughts are scrambling to figure out why Joe would be calling me. Is he just being a needy asshole boss? Or did he figure out who I am and what I’m doing?
His texts didn’t give me any more information. Just demands that I contact him immediately and that I need to get to his house.
In record time, I drop my mom off and race home to change into something more presentable. By the time I reach Joe’s, I’m out of breath from the rushing and the stressing.
My heels are loud on the steps as I jog up them. I haven’t been given the code to the door, so I’m forced to knock. Bouncing on my toes, I chant, “Come on, open up. Open the door. Please.”
Finally, the door swings open, and I’m relieved when Tyler’s on the other side.
He grins. “I’m having some deja vu right now.” He tilts his head to the side. “Just like last time, I have to ask, what are you doing here?”
I rush past him, whispering loud enough for him to hear me as I move farther into the house, and he trails behind me.
“I don’t know. I was with my mom and didn’t see my phone until I had multiple missed calls and texts from Joe.
I tried to call him back, but he didn’t answer.
” I stop in the middle of the hallway and spin to face him. “Did he say anything to you?”
He takes a half step closer as he shakes his head. “No, he hasn’t said much today. Has just been in his office working most of the day. He did seem grumpier than usual, but I didn’t think much of it.”
I gnaw on my lip, trying to decipher what that could mean, but really, it could be anything.
Tyler’s expression shifts into slight confusion when he sniffs the air and says, “Do I smell a…barnyard?”
My jaw drops. Those goddamn goats. Cute as they were, I was afraid I would smell like them. But I didn’t even think about it when I was skipping a shower and throwing on a new outfit.
Tyler leans closer and sniffs again. “Uh, Audrey, I think it’s your hair?” The last word is said with a laugh before Tyler covers his mouth with his hand to disguise his amusement.
I grip his forearm hard in a panic. “Is it really bad? Did you smell it right away? Or just when you got close?”
His face sobers when he realizes how not funny I think this is. “It’s really not bad. I couldn’t smell it until we stopped, and I was standing really close.”
My hands go to my hips as I drop my head back, taking some calming breaths that are doing nothing. Tyler rubs my back as he tells me it’s going to be okay.
I let out one last breath before lifting my head and saying, “Well, I might as well go in there and see if I’m about to get fired.” I gesture frantically. “I’m assuming I’ll be fired for something else before he has time to notice I smell like goat shit.”
With an encouraging smile, Tyler walks me down the hallway toward Joe’s office.
Before I knock on the door, he kisses me on the temple and steps back.
I mouth thank you as I knock and wait to be allowed to enter.
When I hear Joe call out, Tyler gives me one last thumbs-up, and I push the door open and step inside.
I stride quickly across the office while still trying to keep my distance. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner. I was with my mom and didn’t have my phone on me.”
Joe’s writing something and has barely spared me a glance.
“I expect more of those I employ, Audrey. Today was unacceptable. I pay you well enough that you need to be available to me at any time.” He sets his pen down, and his steely glower locks on me.
I want to argue he doesn’t actually pay me that well, but I hold my tongue.
“You made a commitment, Audrey. Do you understand?”
I nod emphatically. “Yes, sir. I understand. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
Picking the pen back up, he resumes writing whatever he’s working on. “I’ve emailed you the projects I need you to work on. You can go now.”
Thoroughly reprimanded and dismissed, I trudge out of the office. At least I didn’t get fired.
Tyler’s leaning against the wall outside the office, his muscular arms crossed over his chest. He pushes off the wall when the door closes behind me.
“Did he notice your new perfume?” he asks with a teasing lilt.
I deadpan as I head down the hallway to my office, which is also the dining room. “No, thank goodness. Just got onto me for missing his calls and texts earlier.”
His eyebrows scrunch. “But it’s your day off, I thought?”
I pull out the heavy, ornate dining room chair. “Yeah, well, I thought so too,” I mutter as I sink down onto the uncomfortable and, I’m sure, overpriced chair.
When Tyler doesn’t say anything, I peek over my computer screen to find him scowling in my direction.
“It’s okay, Tyler. I didn’t have anything else going on today after I dropped my mom off back at home. So I don’t mind working the rest of the day.”
I don’t want him to be angry on my behalf. It isn’t worth it. We both know Joe’s an asshole. There is no point in trying to push back. I need this job and can’t do anything to risk it.
He sighs, and his expression softens. “Alright, well, I’ll be around if you need anything, mama.”
“Thanks, Tyler.”
He leaves me alone, and I open the email Joe sent me.
I stifle a groan when I realize the project he wants done differently is the one that took me the longest to complete the other day.
My eyes close, and I inhale slowly until my lungs hurt.
Then I blow it out, letting go of any frustration I have and reminding myself of the end goal.
I’m about an hour into my work when the clicking of dress shoes on the wood floor alerts me to someone who isn’t Tyler approaching. I straighten my back and stretch, waiting for the person to get to me. Joe rounds the corner, looking around.
He adjusts his suit jacket. “Audrey, I have a meeting I need to go to.”
I nod and begin to stand, when Joe holds up a hand to stop me. “No, you can stay here. Keep working on what I sent you.”
Confused, I lower onto my seat as the realization of what this means hits me. It takes everything in me to clear my face of any reaction. “Yes, sir. I’ll keep working on this. Hopefully, I can have it completed by the time you get back.”
He gives a curt nod. “See that you do.”
Leaving me, he calls for Tyler, his voice echoing through the vastness of his house. My heart is racing. I’m about to be left alone. In Joe’s house. With full access to his office.
More than one set of footsteps heads in my direction. Tyler and Joe come into view as they pass the doorway to the living room.
Joe calls out, “Tyler will be taking me to my meeting, but Matt’s here if you need him.”
Damn it.
“Thanks for letting me know,” is my response, but I really want to ask if he’s sure he doesn’t need them both.
The door closes behind them, and I sit, motionless, contemplating my options. Who knows when I might get another opportunity to attempt this? There’s no way I can pass this up.
I slip off my heels, figuring if I run into Matt, I’ll just tell him I took them off while Joe’s out because they hurt my feet, which isn’t a lie. Carefully pushing the chair back, I stand.
This is it.
I tiptoe out of the dining room and sneak down the hall.
I don’t see Matt when I pass by the kitchen or living room, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
I pause when I’m standing in front of the closed office door in the dim hallway light.
Another thought occurs to me that has my stomach roiling.
What if there’s a security camera in his office?
It would make sense to put one in there. I check the hall in the direction of the kitchen, my clammy hand frozen on the doorknob.
“Screw it,” I whisper and turn the knob.
I slip inside and silently shut the door behind me.
Sweat dots my spine as I take a few hesitant steps into the office.
I haven’t spent much time in here, but I’m always impressed by how beautiful it is.
The bookcases lining the walls are perfectly styled.
Everything from the desk to the couch, table, and wingback chair all perfectly complements each other.
My dad may make some terrible life choices, but whoever he hired as an interior decorator wasn’t one of them.
I scurry over to the desk and start yanking on drawers.
A disheartened groan leaves me when I find the first drawer locked.
I try the next one and do a quick happy dance when it opens.
There isn’t much in it, but I take out the files and snap a few pictures with my phone.
I don’t have time to read through everything right now, but I can look at them tonight.
There isn’t much in the other drawers, but I have one last one to go through. Moving the desk chair out of the way, I slide open the drawer in the middle of the desk. I rummage around in there, not finding anything that catches my eye.
Until I spot the corner of an unfolded piece of paper.
I open the drawer farther and slide the paper out, even though I already know what it is.
My stomach drops, and a tear rolls down my cheek.
It’s the letter I wrote my father four months ago, begging him for help. Pleading with him to help my mom because she’s all I have.
I never signed it. I just left my phone number.
One he never bothered to call.