Chapter 32
Audrey
“I’m so glad you could join us, Jennifer.” My mom wipes her mouth on her napkin, smiling at my best friend over my dining room table.
We just finished eating a breakfast of pancakes and sausage, my mom’s favorite. I invited them both over this morning so I could make us breakfast before we went glass blowing.
I sip my coffee as Jennifer and Mom chat about the library. I know I should join their conversation, but I’ve been having a hard time focusing today. My emotions are all over the place.
It doesn’t help that my mom looks paler. She’s more frail, yet her attitude remains just as positive as ever. It makes me feel even guiltier than I already did to be in a funk. Today’s supposed to be fun and all about my mom. Not me and my poor choices catching up with me.
I push my chair back and stand. “I’m going to go change real quick. Then we can get going.”
I never bothered to get out of my pajamas this morning when I started cooking breakfast before they got here.
Mom smiles at me. “Okay, honey. Take your time. We’ll clean up your kitchen while you get dressed.”
I shake my head. “Mom, don’t worry about my kitchen. I can clean it tonight. Just relax. I’ll be out in a few.”
As I’m closing my bathroom door, I swear I hear a knock at my front door. I almost walk back out to the living room, but decide that Jennifer and my mom can handle it. It’s probably just maintenance or maybe a neighbor needing something.
I change my clothes and brush my teeth, and when I step back into my bedroom, a deep voice permeates the thin walls.
Must be the maintenance man.
Most of my neighbors are elderly and definitely don’t have that deep of a voice. I find some tennis shoes to slip on and grab a sweater at the last moment in case I get cold. Halfway down the hall, the voice finally registers, and my feet falter.
Stepping into the main area of my apartment, I spy Tyler sitting at the table in the seat I vacated, eating the remaining pancakes while he laughs at something my mom’s telling him. Jennifer’s staring at him wide-eyed with a lopsided grin that spreads when she spots me.
“Audrey, look who I got to meet,” Jennifer calls to me, causing Mom and Tyler to turn in unison to look my way.
“I see that,” I mutter, taking the final few steps to the table. “Tyler, what are you doing here?”
He swallows his bite of pancakes, and I’m momentarily distracted by the Adam’s apple bobbing with the action. “I came to talk to you. And I’m glad I did. Because now I get to do something I’ve never done before.”
I level my stare at my mom as she smiles at me innocently. “Yes, Audrey. Tyler’s very interested in glass blowing. So I invited him to come with us.”
Forcing a smile, I tell my mom, “That’s great. The more the merrier. Just real quick before we leave, I need to talk to Tyler.” I spin and head back in the direction I just came. “Won’t take long.”
“Excuse me, ladies. We’ll be right back.”
His heavier footsteps sound from behind me. When he takes a seat on the edge of my bed, I close the door and lean against it.
I press my lips together and take a deep breath. Tyler’s watching me cautiously, his arms crossed over his chest.
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says quietly. There’s a pained lilt to his words.
I rub my chest over my heart for a second before shaking my head.
“No, Tyler. You don’t need to apologize.
But I do.” I hope my eyes can convey to him how heartfelt my words are.
“I wasn’t in a good place yesterday, and I should’ve just said that.
I also shouldn’t have ignored your calls and texts last night. ”
I was lying in bed, watching my phone light up as tears fell uncontrollably. Guilt and shame made me ignore him, and then, they were exacerbated for doing so. They almost suffocated me as I fought sleep to come so I could get a respite.
He stands and walks over to me. Cupping my cheeks, his cool, rough palms feel like bliss against my skin. “Stop. You’re going through enough without me adding to it. I don’t care about any of that. I was kind of a dick yesterday, and I could’ve been a little more understanding.”
A traitorous tear falls onto his hand.
“Let’s just say neither of us was our best selves yesterday and move on, okay?”
I lick my lips, and his eyes drop.
“I would like that.”
He lifts my face to meet his, and my hands grip his wrists. I sigh with relief when his lips meet mine. The firmness of his lips moving has me rising to press into him even more, needing more contact. More comfort. But he ends the kiss before I’m ready.
“Tyler,” I whine on a breath.
“Mama, we have to stop. We have glass to blow.” His voice is filled with just as much disappointment.
“You’re right,” I bemoan and let go of my hold on him.
He laughs and releases my face.
I turn away and am about to open the door when a thought occurs to me, causing panic to twist my insides.
Facing Tyler again, I say, “Just do me a favor and don’t mention working with me to my mom or Jennifer.
They don’t know I lost my job. It’s really best to not talk about work at all around them. ”
He studies me for a moment with an expression I can’t quite interpret before nodding. “Okay, I won’t say anything.”
My smile is weak, but I try. “Thank you.”
I get one last kiss on the forehead before we walk hand-in-hand out of my bedroom and are greeted by two overjoyed smiles when my mom and Jennifer see us.
“You two ready?” I ask, and they both nod and jump up to grab their purses.
“We can take my truck,” Tyler adds.
I glance up at him. “Are you sure? We can drive separately in case you need to leave before we’re done.”
His eyes shine brightly as he stares down at me. “Unless you’re going with me, I’m not leaving.”
I bite my lip and nod, butterflies swirling in my stomach.
We all walk out, chatting and laughing, the energy of the group significantly lighter than it was when I got up from the table. I squeeze Tyler’s hand in silent gratitude, and he returns the gesture with a grin.
I was already excited to spend the day with my mom and Jennifer, but having Tyler with us feels extra special and significant.
I try to push all other thoughts out of my mind, determined to make this day another memory we’ll all look back on with happiness.
“Oh, Tyler!” Edna’s melodic shout comes from across the workshop.
“Dammit, woman. Do you not see I’m trying to impress my girlfriend’s mom and friend?” Tyler mutters under his breath without any heat to his words.
I probably would feel a little jealous of the obvious crush the instructor has on Tyler if she weren’t about eighty.
“But Tyler, you’re so strong,” I tease, mimicking what Edna keeps repeating.
He sighs. “She’s not wrong.”
I giggle and roll my eyes. “Go. We’re all thoroughly impressed.”
He narrows his eyes skeptically. “Really? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?”
“Yes, really.” I glance over at the elderly woman. “Besides, she makes me nervous next to all this fire.”
“Hey,” Tyler chastises. “Don’t badmouth Edna. She’s spry. And honestly, I should go help her, because if things don’t work out between us, you know I like older women.”
My jaw drops, and his body vibrates with repressed laughter. He jumps out of the way as I move to smack him in the chest.
“Coming, Edna,” he shouts as he scurries away from me.
Something brushes my arm, and I turn to find Jennifer sidling up to me, her eyes locked on Tyler’s back. “He’s pretty great, Audrey.”
Biting my lip, my gaze follows hers to where Tyler’s helping Edna with something I’m sure that woman has done thousands of times by herself. “I think so, too.”
“Does he know about”—she glances around to make sure my mom isn’t near us—“your dad?”
My stomach clenches when some of the stress I left at my apartment comes roaring back. “No, he doesn’t know.”
“Maybe he could help you if you talked to him?” she offers.
Anger heats my body. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
Her eyes widen, and her cheeks redden. “Of course, I didn’t mean anything.”
I sigh and dig my fingers into my eyes. Dropping my hand to my side, I look at my friend. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I know you’re just trying to help.”
She pulls me into a hug, and I appreciate how easily we can move past things. It’s always been like this for us. We value our friendship, and we’re quick to forgive when one of us has a misstep.
“I love you, Jen.”
“Love you, too.”
She releases me, and we go back to what we were doing. When Tyler comes back over, Jennifer spins to him. “Tyler, when’s your birthday?”
He cuts his eyes over to me, probably wondering if she knows he’s younger than me. I haven’t told her, but I know why she’s asking. Jennifer’s obsessed with astrology.
“Uh, June thirtieth. Why?”
“Wow, a Cancer. That actually makes so much sense,” Jennifer comments appreciatively. “You know Audrey’s a Scorpio?”
I can’t help but laugh at the complete befuddlement on his face. No surprise that he has no idea why she’s telling him this tidbit of information.
“Uh, I didn’t. She hasn’t told me her birthday. Though, I will admit, even if she did, I wouldn’t have known she’s a Scorpio. Or why the hell that matters.”
Jennifer continues. “It’s October twenty-fifth. And it matters because as a Cancer man, a Scorpio woman is a near-perfect cosmic match for you.”
With a sexy smirk, Tyler locks eyes with mine. “I already could’ve told you Audrey’s a perfect match for me. Knew from the very start. But nice to hear the stars agree.”
“Oh my.” Jennifer fans her face dramatically.
I press my palms to my blushing cheeks. Tyler pulls me against him for a hug, and I burrow my face in his chest, inhaling his now familiar scent. His lips find the top of my head, and he murmurs against my hair, “My perfect woman.”
My heart stutters as he speaks those words with an adoring tone. He’ll always be the perfect man for me, no matter what.
My mom is curled up on the couch with a throw blanket over her lap. I carry a glass of wine for myself and a glass of water for her into the room and join her. She hasn’t admitted it, but I can tell today really wore her out.
“Okay, pizza’s been ordered. Cookies are in the oven and ice cream is in the freezer.” I hand her the glass, and she thanks me before taking a sip. “Do you need anything else right now?”
“No, honey. I’m good.” Her serene, reflective smile breaks my heart a little. “Today was so much fun.”
Nodding, I can’t disagree. “It really was. I can’t wait to go pick up my handmade glass paperweight.”
“Yes, that’ll be fun to have.” Her eyes sparkle with something else. “I’m also glad that Tyler came with us.”
I wiggle back onto the couch to get more comfortable. “I thought you might be. And I’m glad you and Jennifer got to spend time with him.”
“It’s very obvious how much you two care about each other. It made me very happy to see.”
I take a sip of my wine, staring off, lost in thought for a moment before asking, “Why do you think you never fell in love with anyone?”
Surprise takes over her features. “What makes you think I never loved anyone?”
I shrug. “You never talked about anyone. You barely talked about my sperm donor.”
A thoughtful sadness replaces the surprise. “Bradford was my first and really only love.”
Shock at her statement makes me sit up taller and shift so I’m looking directly at her.
“I met him when I was fifteen. I know we were young, and while I can admit that a lot of times, young love like that doesn’t always last, I think we would’ve been different.”
There’s pain in her voice that has my cheeks tingling with emotion. “What happened?”
She takes a deep breath, then explains, “It was two weeks after our wedding, and he died.”
I can’t stop my gasp.
“It was a car accident. I was twenty-one. He was twenty-two.”
My hand covers my mouth as tears drip from my lashes.
“I think that’s why when I met your sperm donor, as you call him, a year later, it was easy for him to trick me into thinking he cared about me. My heart was broken.”
“Mom, I’m so sorry.” I reach over and grab her hand.
“It’s okay, Audrey. Really. Because then I had you. And you became the most important thing to me.”
Even though I love my mom more than anything, it makes me sad for her that she never found someone else to love her as unconditionally as it sounds like her and Bradford loved each other.
I moved out and got my own life. It would’ve been nice for her to have someone who made her his whole world, because she deserves it. And he would’ve been lucky to have her.
Even if it meant I wouldn’t have been born, I wish my mom had never met Joe. He ruined her chance of finding that kind of love again.
That makes me hate him even more.