Chapter 36
Audrey
Ican’t believe I shot Tyler.
The gun wasn’t supposed to be loaded... A bullet must’ve been left in the chamber from when I practiced with it at the shop. How could this happen?
To make matters worse, I didn’t do anything. I froze. Me. A doctor. Just stood there, watching the man I love bleed.
I slap my hand to my lips to hold in my sob, and I rest my forehead against the steering wheel. I didn’t want to listen to Tyler telling me to leave, but his pleas finally permeated the horror consuming me at what I’d done.
So, against every instinct to help, I ran back to where I parked my car, and wracking cries overtook me the second the door enclosed me inside.
The blare of sirens has my head jerking up. I swipe the tears off my cheeks as a fire truck, followed by an ambulance, flies past my car.
“Please, let him be okay,” I murmur as they turn the corner and disappear from view, my heart beating like a bass drum. How I even hear the siren over the thumping in my ears, I have no idea.
The next few minutes are the longest I’ve ever been through. I want to move closer so I can see what’s happening, but I know that’s the stupidest thing to do. Unless I want to confess to everything.
Another round of tears streams down my face. All of this and I’m going to lose everything I love. My mom won’t get her treatment, and I’m sure Tyler hates me. Even if he doesn’t realize it yet.
The ambulance turning the corner to pass by my car again, going in the opposite direction, pulls me from my wallowing. My heart switches from erratic beats to halting in my chest, knowing the man that it holds inside. My lungs burn with guilt and pain.
The irony isn’t lost on me when I start following Tyler one last time. I’m not entirely sure what my plan is, but I know I’d rather sit in the parking lot of the hospital until I can ensure he’s okay than be anywhere else.
By the time we make it to the hospital, I’ve managed to get myself together, somewhat. I pull into a parking place and take a few more deep breaths. I couldn’t get close enough to the ambulance bay to be able to see when they wheeled Tyler in, and my chest clenches at not being able to see him.
I turn off the engine and bite my nail, trying to figure out what to do next, when something in my center console catches my eye. Reaching down, I pull out my hospital badge.
Staring at it for a few moments, I know what I can do. I clip it to my shirt and hurry inside. My entire body trembles as I smile a greeting to the employees I pass, waiting for one of them to stop me and demand I leave. Or worse, call the police to have me arrested.
I get to the nurses’ station in the emergency room and find a nurse I know pretty well.
She smiles. “Dr. Grey. It’s good to see you. I thought you were on leave?” She takes in what I’m sure is evidence of me crying. Concern filters into her features. “Everything okay?”
I nod a greeting. “Hi, Patsy. I am on leave. And no, not exactly okay. I had a friend come in a little bit ago, and I wanted to come check on him, but I don’t want to intrude with his doctors or family.
” Nausea flips my stomach at having to say this out loud.
I take a calming breath before I say as nonchalantly as possible, “Tyler Matthews?”
She points to the trauma rooms close to the door the ambulances park at.
The curtains are closed so we can’t see what is happening inside.
“Oh yeah, they’re in there working on him right now.
But don’t you worry.” She shakes her head in disapproval.
“He’s lucky after being so careless shooting himself.
Not everyone who does that just gets a flesh wound. ”
Letting out a breath of relief, I force a smile. “You’re right. He is lucky. I think I’ll just hang around for a little while so I can check in with him after his family leaves.”
She waves to some open chairs at the end of their workstation. “Of course, hang out as long as you want. We’re light on staff tonight so you won’t be in anyone’s way.”
“Thanks, Patsy.”
With that, Patsy leaves me. My legs feel shaky and unstable as I sink into the seat to wait. Hopefully, I can figure out what to say by the time I get a chance to see him. Sorry for shooting you and I hope you don’t hate me after this seem wholly inadequate.
And right now might not be the time to tell him I love him.