Chapter 39
Audrey
Itake a bite of my sandwich and drop it back on my plate, staring out at the hospital grounds as I chew my food, lost in thought.
I spent the morning getting my mom settled in so she could start her treatment and desperately needed some fresh air once that was done.
She shooed me away to go get some lunch, telling me there was no point in both of us sitting there.
I was grateful she gave me a pass to take a moment, but I still wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Bone-deep relief causes tears to tease my eyes.
I’m not sure I’ll ever know what this charity is that’s funding her treatment, but I’ll never forget that feeling when my mom got the call from her doctor that there was a medical charity that pays for things insurance doesn’t cover.
Even as a doctor, I didn’t even realize that would be an option to explore.
The only thing that would make this better is if Tyler were here with me.
He texted me a few times, and I never had the courage to text him back.
Not because I didn’t want to, but I was scared.
And the shame from what I’ve done was so heavy, it stopped me every time from texting or calling him back.
Most of the texts were simple, so I’m not even sure where his mind is at with everything.
So I stay in my place of ignorance, probably lying to myself that if I don’t know, there’s still a chance. But right now, that’s all I can manage.
I pick up my sandwich and take another bite, just as a shadow falls across the table. With my sandwich still in my mouth, I raise my eyes and nearly choke.
As if my thoughts conjured him, Tyler stands next to the table, two bags of food in his hands, smiling down at me. He lifts a bag toward the empty bench across from me. “Is this seat taken?”
I dislodge the sandwich from my lips and shake my head. My heart hammers against my ribs. Tyler looks just as handsome as ever in his jeans and T-shirt, with his hair perfectly messy and a lopsided smile on his face. “N-No. It’s not.”
He drops onto the bench and swings his long legs over so he can face me, setting the bags down on the table. “That sandwich looks delicious and all, but if you happen to want something different, I have too much Chinese food here. So, feel free to help yourself.”
Opening one of the bags, he starts pulling out the exact order we had the night he came over to my house.
My stomach flips, and I bite my lip to hide my smile. “That’s very nice of you to share.”
With a grin, he says, “That’s me. A nice guy.” He reaches his hand across the table. “Name’s Tyler Matthews.”
I take his hand, and I’m comforted by the spark that runs through my palm at his touch. At least I know that didn’t go away. “Audrey Grey.”
His hold lingers for a moment longer, then he releases me. “Nice to meet you, Audrey.” He gestures to my scrubs. “I’m assuming you work here?”
I nod. “I do. I’m a cardiothoracic surgeon here. But I’m on leave, so I can help my mom.” I inhale a shaky breath. “She started treatment today.”
Warmth and compassion fill the eyes I’ve missed staring into. “That’s amazing to hear.”
“Yeah, it is.” I sniff back my emotion, and wanting to play along, I ask, “What about you?”
I’m a little worried about what he’s going to tell me. I’ve wondered if he’d been fired over what happened. I didn’t know if Jack would let it slide because Tyler was family.
“I work at a security company. I’m on desk duty for the next six months, but it’s probably deserved.”
I grimace. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Tyler shrugs with an unwavering, intense stare. “Eh, I’m not too worried. I wouldn’t change anything I did to get it.”
Wrapping my lips over my teeth, I bite down, trying to keep the tears at bay. I fail miserably as a few tumble down my cheeks. Tyler gives a sad smile as he reaches across the table and swipes his thumb softly across each of my cheeks.
I barely hear him when he whispers, “Audrey, don’t do that.”
Before he can pull his hand away, I grip his wrist. Electric zings hit my skin as it touches his. He cups my cheek and continues catching my tears.
“Tyler, please let me tell your cousin what happened. You don’t deserve to suffer because I’m an idiot.”
He frowns as he moves his thumb from my cheeks to my lips, pressing against them to keep me from talking. “Audrey, I don’t want to hear you say that shit about yourself. And you aren’t going to tell anyone anything. I’ve handled it.”
My heart hurts as my face tingles with emotion at his statement. I pull his hand from my face but don’t let go, still wanting to keep the connection. Before I can form a coherent thought, Tyler uses the hand I’m holding to push my plate closer to me.
“Audrey, please eat.”
I exhale as I release my hold and do as he said.
We eat in silence for a few minutes before Tyler continues the game he started. “So, Audrey, tell me, are you into true crime?” Tyler takes a bite of food and watches me as he chews.
I press my lips together to suppress my smile, knowing exactly why he’s asking. I shrug. “Not really.”
He nods thoughtfully. “That’s a shame. There’s this really interesting local case going on with this local businessman and the Nashville version of the mob.”
I rest the back of my fork against my lips, as if lost in thought. “You know, I think I remember reading about that online. Some confidential informant turned over a bunch of pictures and documents. I even heard there were voice recordings.”
“That’s what I heard, too.” Tyler’s grin is wide and conspiratorial. He shakes his head. “Crazy.”
We continue eating, not speaking, just sharing glances and smiles. And by the time we’re done, my heart is skipping beats like I have an arrhythmia. I don’t know how Tyler wants to end this, but considering what I’ve done, I think it’s best to leave the decision up to him.
I put all the containers back into the bag. “This has been really nice. Thank you for sharing your lunch with me.”
Tyler watches me, his nostrils flaring before he blurts out, “Go out with me.”
I sniff, trying to contain my tears. This is everything I’ve wanted.
At night, alone in my bed, Tyler has begged me to come back to him.
Hearing him say it here, now, for real, has my breath catching in my lungs.
But I’m still scared. I whisper, “I want that more than anything. But what about your family?”
Tyler shakes his head. “I’ve talked to them and told them I love you. They understand why you did what you did.”
My jaw drops at his admission. More tears make rivers down my cheeks. “You… You love me?”
He looks at me as if he doesn’t understand how I could ever doubt him. “Of course I do.”
“I love you,” I say breathlessly. “But are you sure—”
Before I can finish my question, Tyler grips the back of my neck and pulls me gently across the table.
The second his lips touch mine, all the pain and heartache from the last few weeks of not being with him melt away into a puddle at my feet.
His tongue and lips convey how much he missed me, too, and I never want this kiss to end.
He deepens the kiss before his lips slow. Pulling back, he rests his forehead on mine, his exhale tickling my skin. I keep my eyes closed, but my lips turn up into a smile I feel in my soul.
“No more lies,” he commands quietly.
“No more,” I agree instantly.
He lifts his head, and I open my eyes. There’s so much love in his gaze that my breath catches in my throat.
“I’ll put up with a lot in our relationship because I’m crazy about you, but you can’t shoot me ever again. That’s where I draw the line.”
I smack him on the chest with a laugh. “Don’t joke about that.”
“What? One day, this will be a funny story we can tell our kids,” he says with a wide, teasing grin.
We both stand and move off the benches. “Oh my god, you’re impossible. We aren’t telling anyone this story, ever. For so many reasons.”
Circling the table, we meet at the side. Tyler grabs the bags of our discarded food and throws an arm around my shoulders as we walk toward the entrance of the hospital.
“You’re right, mama. This will be our little secret.” He presses a kiss on the top of my head. “I found a butter churning class next weekend. I’ve signed the four of us up.”
I swallow back the emotion that clogs my throat once again, not believing he’d remember the remaining bucket list item my mom never got to do. “I love you, Tyler. More than anything.”
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Audrey.”