Chapter 19 Scarlett #2
But the voices of my life before him are just too loud, too eager to tear me down and leave me in the gutter. Those voices are what keep me from responding to Nico in the way that he wants.
He sees it, because he sighs and takes a step back. “So no, I don’t just want sex. I want the rest of it, too.”
And God, I want so badly to believe him. I like spending time with Nico. I like him and I like how he makes me feel and I want to explore this with him.
It’s just…hard.
“I don’t—” I swallow and try again. “I’m not sure what that looks like,” I admit in a shaky whisper.
And Nico being the brave, beautiful man he is, simply smiles and says, “I know, baby. That’s okay. We can figure it out together.”
“It’s hard for me to trust men,” I say quietly. “The no dating clients rule is common sense, but…that’s not the only reason.”
I take another breath, this one for courage. To be honest with him, the way he’s been with me. “I was married. Before I moved to New York. And I know it’s cliché to say a bad relationship gave me trust issues, but—”
“You were married?” Nico asks, his eyes going wider than I’ve ever seen them. “But—” He shakes his head with a confused frown. “You were nineteen when you moved here.” His jaw goes slack again. “You were married at nineteen?”
I laugh softly, though nothing about this is funny. “It’s a long story. And not one I want to get into right now. I was just trying to explain why I have a hard time trusting men.” Trusting everyone, I add mentally.
“I want to believe you,” I hurry to add. I need him to understand. “I’m not against the idea of dating because I don’t want to date you. I swear. I just…” I blow out a heavy breath. “It’s…hard.”
For a moment, Nico studies me. I can tell he wants to ask a million more questions about my past, but he can also sense that I’m not ready to talk about it.
So instead of pushing me when I’m not ready, he simply nods and says, “I understand.” Then he tucks my hair behind my ear and gives me a small smile. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
Just that reaction tells me I’ve done the right thing in trusting him with the truth. But even though my panic spiral melts away and the tension drops from my shoulders, there’s still a small part of me that’s holding back.
“Can we keep doing what we’re doing?” I ask in a tentative whisper.
“Just for now? I promise I won’t pressure you for sex again, but…
I think keeping it contained to an arrangement I understand might help me make sense of it.
” But when I realize what I’m asking, shame punches me in the gut and makes my eyes widen.
“Not that I’m doing it for the money. I realize how that makes me sound. I just—”
But Nico just laughs and sweetly tugs at a strand of hair. “Scarlett, you could charge me a hundred thousand and I’d gladly hand it over for a single date.”
My mouth curves into a smile, everything in me melting at his words. “Would it include sex?”
Seeming to realize he’s talked me off of whatever cliff I was standing on—and can now joke with me—he smirks. “Baby, if sex was involved, you’d have to charge me a million.”
Giggling, I drop my face into the crook of his neck. I feel…warm. Safe. I let out a content sigh when I feel Nico press a kiss to my hair.
But when he shifts in a way that brushes his still-hard cock against my thigh, I pull back and ask, “So, now that we’ve had this clarifying discussion… Are you still saying no to sex?”
Chuckling, he angles his hips away from me. “Yup. I can’t prove to you I want more than sex if we keep having sex, can I?”
“But I like sex with you,” I whine.
He smiles and kisses me again, this time on my temple. “You’re adorable,” he murmurs.
“That is not what a girl wants to hear when she’s trying to seduce a man,” I grumble.
Nico studies me, serious this time. “Is this a rejection reaction? Or something else?”
I think about it for a moment, then answer, “It’s an I’m-turned-on-and-you-didn’t-let-me-come reaction.”
At that, his eyebrow lifts. “Well, that I can help with.”
“What do you—”
My words cut off in a gasp when he flips my dress up and drops to his knees.
“Nico, you don’t have to—”
“You’re goddamn right I do,” he growls. And then he buries his face between my legs.
The second his lips touch my clit, I know this is going to be over too fast. I’m keyed up from him, this night, everything. Combined with how well he knows my body, it’s not going to take much.
“Nico,” I moan, arching into his mouth as my fingers sink into his hair. “Oh my God, Nico.”
“Fuck, yes, say my name, baby,” he groans. Distantly, it registers that his arm is moving, but when I feel two of his fingers slide inside me, I stop thinking altogether.
I chant his name all through my orgasm, however long it lasts. It feels like forever. My hand fists in his hair, my legs tighten around his head, and I explode.
When I finally come back to earth, Nico’s breathing heavily, his open-mouthed exhales ghosting the inside of my thigh. I loosen my grip in his hair and run it through his locks.
“Okay?” I breathe with a sated smile.
Resting his cheek on my thigh, he looks up at me. “More than,” he says.
I glance down his body, although I can’t see much from this position he’s in. “Will you let me touch you now?”
I don’t understand why he laughs as he stands and tugs me off the counter into his arms.
“Baby, I just came all over the tiles. Now enough of this sex talk, let’s go watch celebrities dance.”