Love from Scratch

Chapter Nineteen

‘Oh my god, are you okay?’ Hazel unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed Ethan’s arm, her fingers wrapping tight around his bicep.

‘I’m fine. Are you okay?’ His hand covered hers, his panicked eyes checking her over.

‘I’m fine. I’m fine.’

He unbuckled his seatbelt, turned and looked out the foggy back window of her car. ‘Did they even stop?’

‘No.’ Her hands were shaking and her breath was coming in short gasps. The other car had come around the corner too fast, swerving in the wet conditions and crossing onto the wrong side of the narrow road. Hazel had slammed on her brakes to avoid a head-on and her car had fishtailed, skidding across the asphalt, onto the grass and into a muddy drainage ditch.

‘Idiots,’ Ethan growled. He opened the passenger side door and practically fell out onto the wet ground. ‘Shit!’ he spat. Grabbing the edge of the door for support, he stepped over the ditch and onto the grass.

‘That’s not good,’ he said, his hands on his hips and his eyes on her car.

Hazel’s heart was pounding. ‘What? What’s not good?’ She pulled her keys from the ignition, flung open her door and ran around to the other side. The front wheels were both down in the hollow, one turned inwards at an angle that Hazel could see wasn’t right.

‘That looks bad,’ she said.

‘I don’t know much about cars,’ Ethan said, ‘but I agree, it looks bad. Do you have roadside assistance?’

‘I let it slide. I couldn’t afford to renew it.’

‘Ah. Hm.’ He scratched his head.

It was still pouring with rain, and they were both getting drenched, their five-dollar ponchos forgotten on the floor of the back seat.

‘Let’s get back into the car where it’s dry,’ she said. ‘I’ll call a tow truck.’

Hazel googled the closest tow truck service and quickly discovered that there was only one operating in the area, and the driver was at his son’s twenty-first birthday party. She stared at Ethan as she spoke to the man, Ethan’s brow wrinkling as he listened to their one-sided conversation.

‘Thank you so, so much,’ she said at last, then hung-up. ‘Okay. He can come tomorrow morning at seven. He doesn’t usually work Sundays, but he has to go down the coast for a few things tomorrow, so he’ll tow my car down at the same time.’

‘Okay. Good,’ Ethan said. ‘I can get a driver to come up here and get us this afternoon. Then I can drive you to meet the tow truck guy tomorrow when he drops your car off.’

‘Daryl’s going to pick me and my car up tomorrow. I’ll find somewhere around here to stay tonight.’

Ethan blinked at her. ‘Hazel, you’re not going to stay up here alone and then catch a ride with some dodgy tow truck guy.’

‘He’s not dodgy.’ Hazel frowned. ‘He’s doing me a massive favour, and yes I am staying up here. You call your driver and get back to your family. I’ll be fine.’ He stared at her, his brow as creased as she’d ever seen it. ‘What?’ she asked impatiently.

‘If you’re staying, I’m staying too,’ he said. ‘We can both get a ride back with this Daryl guy.’

‘No, you’re not. Your family is waiting for you. I’m perfectly fine on my own. Don’t get all heroic on me. I don’t need it.’

‘I’m not getting all heroic, I’m just not comfortable leaving you here. I wouldn’t leave anyone alone in this situation. I’ll call my brother and explain what’s going on. The kids love Harry, so he’ll be fine. I’ll see them tomorrow. Trust me, they won’t care. What about Kevin?’

‘I left him food, and I can get my neighbour to check in on him. But Ethan, I don’t need you to stay with me. Go home.’

His head shook. ‘Nope.’

‘It’s kind of not your decision.’

‘It kind of is.’

Her eyelids fluttered. ‘Fine,’ she snapped. ‘Then make yourself useful and find us somewhere to stay.’

‘Jesus,’ he muttered as he pulled out his phone.

Hazel slumped in her seat and squeezed her eyes shut. She hadn’t meant to snap at him. He was just looking out for her. But she was feeling attacked. Not by him, but by her own emotions, those traitorous things. The entire day had an underlying vibe that Hazel could only describe as steamy, and it had nothing to do with the humid weather and everything to do with Ethan. Oh god. Was she actually into him? She sighed. He was so nice, and she was a complete idiot. Her and Ethan staying in the mountains together had to be the worst idea ever. But he was leaving soon, which meant nothing could happened between them anyway. Unless it was a short-term thing. Which… could be fun…

‘You look worried,’ he said. ‘I promise to be a perfect gentleman.’

‘I wasn’t thinking about that,’ she lied. ‘I was worrying about your family.’

‘Then don’t. I’ve had a great day, and I’d be happy to turn it into an even better night.’

Hazel slid down in her seat.

Fuck.

‘Thanks, dude,’ Ethan said, taking the bag of groceries the teenage boy passed him.

He’d found a two-bedroom cottage with a hot tub on the deck, which he had every intention of using, and the owners had kindly collected them from the crash site and then sent their teenage son out for the supplies Ethan had requested. He gave the kid a huge tip for his troubles. Ethan knew staying was probably a bad idea, especially given the way Hazel had been making him feel all day, but he didn’t want to leave her – and not just because he’d worry about her. He wanted to be wherever she was, and right now that was a cottage in the mountains at sunset.

Fuck.

The teen pulled out his phone. ‘Can I grab a photo?’

‘Sure thing,’ Ethan said, standing next to the guy and smiling. Hazel was right, the internet must be wallpapered with him by now.

‘I can’t believe you got them to go and get us groceries,’ Hazel said once they were alone. ‘Did you use your pretty privilege again?’

‘Are you calling me pretty?’ He smirked, and she huffed at him.

‘I don’t think you need to be told that you’re pretty,’ she said.

‘Are you still mad at me for not going home?’ He put the bags on the dining table and picked up the bottle of sparkling wine that came with the room, reading the label.

‘I don’t like being treated like a damsel in distress, Ethan,’ she said. ‘You came to my rescue once with Logan. I don’t need you to make a habit of it.’

‘When exactly did I come to your rescue? You did just fine standing up for yourself. I didn’t do a thing. And I’m treating you like I would any of my friends. Not that I have friends.’ She was staring at him, scowling sexily, and he laughed. ‘We’re drinking this, by the way,’ he said, putting the bottle in the freezer. ‘Why don’t you take the first shower?’

‘Why don’t you stop telling me what to do?’

He chuckled as she stomped down the hall, then emptied the contents of the grocery bag onto the table, grinning as he picked up the pack of under-eye patches.

Soon they were settled in on the deck in thick fluffy bathrobes, their clothes in the dryer and the bottle of sparkling wine half-drunk between them.

Ethan pulled the eye patches from his pocket. ‘Ta da.’

‘You did not,’ she said.

‘I did too,’ he responded.

‘You made that kid go buy you…’ She snatched the pack from his hand. ‘Collagen hydrogel with caffeine eye patches?’

‘And toothpaste and toothbrushes, and those barbecue-flavoured chips you were snacking on while I was showering.’ He snatched the patches back. ‘Here,’ he said, pulling open the packet. ‘Lean forward.’ She frowned at him. ‘If you keep frowning like that, you’ll need one for between your eyes. Lean forward and I’ll put them on for you.’

‘I can do it,’ she said.

‘But I’m a professional.’

Her mouth twitched, then she drew a deep breath in through her nose and leaned into him.

‘Look up,’ he said. She fluttered her eyes upwards and he carefully placed a patch under each eye, shifting the patches into position and gently pressing them onto her cheekbones.

‘Blink.’ She blinked twice. ‘Comfortable?’ She nodded. He handed her a second set. ‘Now you do me.’

Her teeth instantly went to her lip and his eyes followed them there, lingering long enough to ensure she’d notice. Then he looked skyward and pushed his face so close to hers he could feel the warmth of her breath on his cheek.

She positioned first one patch, then the other, her fingers soft as they smoothed each one down, her touch feather-light on his skin. When her hands moved away, he noticed them trembling.

‘Blink,’ she said.

A long moment passed as they stared at each other, their faces only centimetres apart, their breath shallow and soft. Then he smiled and fluttered his eyelashes over and over.

Hazel shoved him away with a laugh.

The sky cycled through shades of pink and orange as they drank the sparkling wine and crunched on barbeque chips with perfectly moisturised under-eyes.

‘What did you mean before about not having any friends?’ Hazel asked against a background of awakening frogs and crickets. ‘You’ve got friends.’

His mouth scrunched to the side. ‘I have friends, just not real friends. It’s easy to lose touch with people when you spend a couple of years in the forests of Estonia.’ She looked confused. ‘The Throne of Kings movies were shot there. I did three of them.’

‘Oh.’ She nodded. ‘You have Sera, though.’

‘True. But it’s not like I can ask her to go away for a weekend or catch a movie with me. She’s got someone else.’ He shrugged, feeling strangely okay about Sera and Toby for the first time since there had been a Sera and Toby.

Hazel nodded again. ‘I know what you mean, about losing touch. Shift-work does that too. I may not have been in Estonia, but it sometimes felt like it. When you’re always working nights and never available to do anything, people stop asking.’ She dusted crumbs from her lap, her brows pulling together.

‘What?’ Ethan asked, noticing her expression change.

‘There was something else I wanted to ask you about. But I’m not sure if I should.’

‘Hmm.’ He cocked his head. ‘I think you’re going to have to now.’

‘If it’s not okay, you’ll tell me, right?’

Ethan nodded. ‘I’ll tell you.’

‘Okay.’ Her eyes met his. ‘When we were on our run, I noticed on your legs you have a couple of…’ She looked down and fiddled with the tie on her robe. ‘Look, don’t worry. It’s none of my business.’

‘The scars,’ he said.

‘They looked old, so I’m assuming something happened when you were a kid?’

‘There’s one on my arm, too. It’s pretty faded now.’ His fingers went to the scar concealed beneath his fluffy robe. ‘Any others have long since disappeared. And you’re right, it was a childhood accident. At least, that’s the official story, which I don’t elaborate on.’

‘Of course,’ she said. ‘Sorry I pried.’ A frown creased her brow.

Ethan put down his glass. He hated telling the story and he rarely did, because the memories hurt and the people who knew somehow seemed to look at him differently. But he didn’t want to have secrets from her. He wanted her to know all of him, for better or worse. Hopefully better. He took a breath.

‘I got attacked by a couple of dogs.’ He shrugged. ‘It was pretty bad. I was in hospital for a while.’

Hazel sat forward, her mouth hanging open.

‘Oh shit. I was not expecting that. I thought you were going to say car accident or something.’

He shook his head. ‘Nup. A couple of dogs ran me down and got a hold of me. I was eleven. My brother was there too. He started the whole thing by revving them up, but then I stupidly took off, and they bolted after me. It was… not great. I’ve been pretty freaked out about dogs ever since.’

‘But you have Harry, and you made your name co-starring in a movie with a dog.’

‘I know.’ He chuckled. ‘Hilarious, huh?’

‘I don’t… Wow, Ethan. How did you get past it?’

‘I didn’t. But I’m better at dealing with it now. That’s where Sera came in. I think I mentioned she runs a dog shelter? She helped build my confidence around dogs. I learned that they don’t all want to kill me.’

‘Is that why your relationship with your brother is so strained?’

He nodded. ‘Yep. After that, we were never the same. The thing is, I have forgiven him for his part in what happened, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made that clear. I don’t know if I ever wanted to. All I do know is I’m sick of thinking about it. We were close before the accident, always hung out together, had the same friends. But afterwards…’ He sighed. ‘Chris pulled away and took our friends with him. Completely cut me out. I was a pretty lonely kid after that.’

She stared him. ‘I just can’t picture you lonely.’

‘Really, why?’

‘You’re just…’ She waved a hand at him, indicating his appearance.

‘Oh. Right. Anyone can be lonely. You can be in a crowd and be lonely.’ He shrugged. ‘I was pretty happy to get a job that took me away from home, though. Mum had some idea of her two sons starting a law firm together. Why would I want to work with a guy who barely grunted at me? But Mum mentioned something the other night and… Chris was… different. Almost friendly.’ In that moment Ethan decided he would find a way fix what was broken between them, and he and Chris would be brothers again.

Something released in his chest, and his next breath felt a little freer.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be really okay around a growling and barking dog. I’ll never be able to handle that, but I’m in a better place than I was.’ He drained his flute of bubbles, waiting for her to realise he wasn’t who he appeared to be. He wasn’t all confidence. He was a grown man who was afraid of dogs.

‘No one likes growling and barking dogs,’ she said, and he heard none of the pity he’d been expecting. ‘Did you ever get any therapy or anything?’

‘I found being around dogs was the thing that worked best for me. That’s why I adopted Harry. Was there anything that helped when you were going through your stuff after—’

‘Yeah, I ran away,’ she interrupted.

‘Nah, you got a new job.’

‘No, I ran away from my old one. I was so caught up in my own misery, I walked away from a really good job and ended up turning my back on cooking altogether. My sister’s right, I’ve been hiding. You’re braver than I am. It took guts to do a movie that forced you to confront your trauma.’

‘Hey, I’ve never told my nemesis to fuck off.’ He flicked her a lopsided grin.

She gave him another playful shove.

‘The thing is,’ he said, ‘if I hadn’t done that first dog movie, I’d still be battling imaginary dragons and not riding the wave of a box office hit. It was a no brainer. You’ve got to grab the opportunities in front of you, even if that scares the shit out of you. Otherwise you stay stuck.’

‘I agree. You’ve got to grab those opportunities with both hands.’ She twisted around to face him, pulling her legs up underneath her. ‘Why do you keep it a secret, though? I think people would be impressed that you were able to work through something so devastating.’

Ethan rubbed a hand across his mouth. Now that his fame was linked to a dog, it was as if he was living a lie.

‘I just don’t talk about it,’ he said. ‘It’s a pretty bad memory. But also, I don’t need everyone to know I shit myself around dogs. I don’t want that to be the thing people see when they look at me, or the first thing every interviewer opens with. I have been considering coming clean once this movie’s wrapped, though. To be honest, it would probably be great publicity, if I can be that shallow, and I think we both know that I can.’

He blew out a trembling breath. He hadn’t been expecting to bare his tragic soul that night, but it hadn’t been as bad as he’d expected. He rolled his shoulders and pulled up a smile.

‘What about you, Chef? Do you have any deep, dark secrets?’

She gazed out into the night. ‘Not really. None that I would tell you, anyway.’

‘Seriously? Quid pro quo, Clarice.’ Her brows squished together. She clearly had no idea what he was on about. ‘Movie quote,’ he explained. ‘Silence of the… never mind.’

She shrugged. ‘There is one thing. It’s not deep or dark or even a secret, just something personal. A little – I don’t know if “quirk” is the right word.’

‘Okay, now I’m really curious.’

Her lips lifted around the edge of her glass as she finished the last of her wine.

‘Maybe one day I’ll tell you,’ she said. ‘Or I might even show you.’ She side-eyed him, her expression loaded, and Ethan’s imagination went into overdrive.

They retrieved their clothes from the dryer, piled them in their arms and stood in the hall outside their bedrooms.

‘I’ll set my alarm for six,’ Hazel said. ‘Are you sure the owner is happy to take us back to my car that early?’

‘John has an early round of golf, so he told me it wasn’t a problem. He actually invited me to join him. I told him I couldn’t, but I’ve promised him a selfie.’ He shrugged as Hazel slowly shook her head, clearly trying not to laugh.

‘Well…’ he said.

‘Well…’ she said.

His eyes searched hers. Should he kiss her? Fuck. When was the last time he’d had to ask himself that question? Usually he could tell when women wanted him to kiss them. Which was pretty much all the time. But with Hazel, he had no fucking clue.

You arenot starting anything.

He’d made a promise to himself and he planned on sticking to it. Even if kissing her was pretty much all he could think about. That, and tugging loose the tie to her robe, letting the fluffy white material fall open, scooping her up, her naked body in his arms, his fingers digging into the soft skin of her bare arse, his lips on her collarbone, her throat, her mouth…

He pulled his robe tighter and lowered the pile of clothes he was holding to cover his crotch, his gaze heavy on her lips.

‘Well,’ he said again, his eyes returning to hers. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly on the cheek. ‘Goodnight, Hazel.’

Hazel awoke to the crowing of a rooster. She’d slept like shit, worried sick about her car, wondering how much it was going to cost and how long she’d be without it. How was she going to pick up Harry? She’d have to hire something, that was the only way she could make it work – and she had to make it work, otherwise Ethan might have to find someone else, and suddenly that felt unacceptable. The man was full of surprises. She squeezed her eyes shut and imagined him stretched out in the bed across the hall, her fingers bunching in the sheets as she pictured every bronzed and rippling part of him. For a brief moment the night before, she’d thought he was going to kiss her, and she realised she was a little disappointed that he hadn’t.

She dragged herself from her bed, had a quick shower and tidied herself up as best she could, then tiptoed past Ethan’s closed door to the kitchen in search of some much-needed coffee. As she passed the deck, she just about jumped out of her skin. Ethan was relaxing in the hot tub.

‘How long have you been up?’ she asked.

His bed hair was sticking up at odd angles and water bubbled around his bare chest as the day broke behind him, the orange sunrise glowing on his already glowing skin. It was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever seen, and she could not take her eyes off him.

‘Not long,’ he said. ‘I pretty much booked this place because of this thing, so I was determined to make use of it before we left.’ His brow lifted and a dimple burst to life as he smiled at her. ‘Would you like to… join me?’

She tutted as nonchalantly as she could, her eyes still glued to his unreasonably wide shoulders.

‘I’ve already had a shower,’ she said, cursing the stupid shower.

‘Then you should probably turn around,’ he said.

‘Why?’ She glanced over her shoulder, half expecting to see someone behind her.

‘Because I’m naked in here.’ He grinned. ‘And I’m getting out.’

She opened her mouth to say, ‘Stop!’ but no sound came out. Her mouth hung open as he slowly began to emerge from the water. He got as far as the trail of hair that ran down from his bellybutton before he paused, hands resting on the edge of the tub.

‘Are you going to stay and watch?’ he asked.

For a moment, Hazel considered her options. Then her brain whirred back to life, and she grabbed the towel from the chair beside her, tossed it at him, and quickly turned, smiling at the sound of his laughter as she walked away.