Chapter Twenty-Two
Hazel felt Ethan shift below her and wiggle up on the cushions. They were sprawled in a tangle on her couch, her long legs draped over the arm, his propped on the coffee table next to their empty plates. She snuggled into him, loving how solid he was against her, how bruised her lips felt from all the kissing they’d been doing.
‘Are we stupid to be doing this?’ Ethan asked.
‘Sprawling on my tiny couch all twelve foot something of us?’ she said. ‘Probably. I don’t know if the springs will hold.’
‘I meant the kissing.’
She sat up and met his eyes. ‘You didn’t like the kissing?’
He swept a strand of hair from her face. ‘Oh, I liked the kissing. But I’m moving to LA soon.’
She dropped back and nestled her head into the dip between his neck and his shoulder, wanting to avoid his intense blue gaze. She’d been battling with the same thought.
‘We’re only kissing, Ethan,’ she said, sounding as casual as she could. ‘I don’t expect you to ask me to move to the US with you just because of a little kissing.’
His chest rose and fell with a deep sigh. ‘I wouldn’t ask you to,’ he said quietly. ‘I wouldn’t do that to you. I tried that on Sera, and I look back now and cringe at how selfish I was. Her whole life was so clearly wrapped up in the shelter. We were barely dating and I was making all these plans without even considering her.’
She twisted around so she could see his profile as he stared at the ceiling. His brow was furrowed and his lips, usually a soft pout, were tight.
‘You were barely dating?’ she asked. The way he spoke of Sera, she’d imagined they were doing a lot more than that.
‘We were doing this. We were kissing, snuggling on the couch and watching movies. It wasn’t much more than that. I guess I didn’t understand how much I really liked her until she chose the other guy.’
‘Not to minimise your feelings,’ she said, ‘but do you think that might be why you can’t get over her?’
He shuffled around to face Hazel, his brows drawn together.
‘I mean, because you couldn’t have her?’ she went on.
His eyes squeezed shut. ‘I couldn’t be that shallow, could I?’
‘You’re not shallow, Ethan, that’s obvious.’ If anything, she suspected he felt things a little too deeply, and he definitely worried way too much about what people thought. Not that she was one to talk. She was so worried about what people thought, she’d moved to another state to escape their opinions.
‘And we’ve all been there,’ she said. ‘You’re not alone. We want what we can’t have. I think that’s why I have a type.’
‘Which I’m not, right?’
She laughed. ‘You’re really not.’ Then she linked her fingers through his, and gently squeezed. ‘But my first love was, and he didn’t love me back. I think I’ve been chasing the idea of him ever since. You said it yourself, you were surprised she didn’t want you. You. The hot movie star.’
‘Geez. When you say it like that…’ He ran his palm over his face. ‘I hadn’t even thought about a relationship until she came along. I was too busy working. I still am, to be honest, but I like the idea of it now. I think I have room to share my time and care for someone. Other than myself, that is.’ His stomach flexed with a silent chuckle. ‘But maybe like you, I’ve been hanging onto the dream. I’m always going to love Sera; she’s always going to be a good friend. But am I still in love with her? Was I ever? I’m starting to wonder. I do know one thing, though: I don’t want to feel hurt like that again.’
‘And you’re worried us kissing will hurt you.’
He shrugged, and she straightened up and caught his eye. She was worried about that too. Maybe they should put a stop to whatever they were doing before they got in too deep. Except she didn’t want to stop. Kissing him was something she’d happily do more of, and she’d happily do more than just that. She took a quick breath.
‘We could make a promise to each other,’ she said.
‘What kind of promise?’
‘That we go into this knowing what it is. Short term and a bit of fun. We keep it light. You won’t ask me to run away to America with you and I won’t expect you to. And in two months when you have to leave and it’s time to say goodbye, whatever happens, whatever we feel, we do it as friends and leave on good terms.’
He cocked a brow. ‘I think I’ve seen this movie.’
‘Look, I don’t want to get hurt either. I’m only just finding my feet again, and I don’t want to live my life watching your movies and pining for you.’
He smirked. ‘You’re actually going to watch them?’ She elbowed him in the ribs.
‘Do you ever break your promises?’ he asked.
‘Nope. Do you?’
‘Never.’ He held her gaze for a long moment, then pressed his lips softly to her hair. ‘Okay then. It’s a deal. Short term fun. And when the time comes, I promise that we’ll say goodbye as friends. As very, very good friends.’ His eyes smouldered as his lips lifted into a crooked grin.
‘Well, I’m certainly feeling very friendly towards you right now.’
He laughed. ‘Good start. What about you, do you promise?’
She swallowed and nodded. ‘I promise. I also promise to be the kind of friend who always makes you smile… and maybe moan a little.’
‘Oof. That last bit was good.’
‘Oh, it will be,’ she said, as if it were a threat.
He touched her chin, tilting her face towards him. ‘So are we sorted?’
‘We’re sorted,’ she said.
‘We’re doing this?’
‘We’re definitely doing this.’
‘Then we can keep kissing?’ Ethan asked.
‘Ye—’ But his mouth was already on hers, and all her best laid plans evaporated under the warmth of his lips.
Hazel slipped between her cool sheets, the scent of Ethan still on her skin. She’d so nearly asked him to stay the night, and by the way he’d lingered on her doorstep, she knew he’d wanted to. But they had time.
She carefully wiggled onto her side and looked at Kevin lying on the pillow next to her. He’d been hiding out in her room since his adventure in the storm, and she’d expected him to move the instant she crawled into bed, but surprisingly, he’d stayed put. She cautiously stroked two fingers across his fur. He cracked one yellow eye open and stared at her, then closed it again, accepting Hazel’s tentative show of affection.
‘So you were right about the movie star,’ she said to Kevin. ‘I like his pats too.’
She slid down into her bed, a grin spreading wide on her lips as she thought about kissing Ethan. She wanted his tongue in places other than her mouth, and she wanted to try out his generous kitchen counter, his enormous glossy bathtub and that luxurious king-sized bed.
She sighed contentedly and opened her emails to confirm his call time for the next day. And then her eyes turned to saucers, her breath catching.
At the top her inbox was an email with the subject: ‘Sous Chef Position’. The sender was [email protected].