Love from Scratch

Chapter Twenty-Seven

‘I think that went well,’ Ethan said. ‘Do you think it went well?’ He was still sitting at the dining table with his laptop open, but now he had his bare feet up and a beer in his hand. It was just him and Lena left on Zoom.

‘Exceptionally well,’ Lena said. ‘You were exactly the right mix of business and charm. And good choice on the shirt. The perfect vibe.’

He ran a hand down his chest. ‘Tom Ford, baby. You can’t go wrong. What happens now? How long will I have to wait?’ His insides were humming. He couldn’t remember ever being this excited – except maybe when he’d run downstairs to open the door for Hazel the other night, but that was a very different kind of excited.

‘Now Nancy takes over and gets you the deal. From what she said, they need to move fast and you’re the only one they’re currently seeing, so—’

‘Are you kidding me?’ Ethan rocked back in his chair. ‘Fuck. I can’t believe it. I honestly thought I’d be spending the summer on a farm in England surrounded by cows.’ He hooted a laugh as he raked his fingers through his hair. ‘I’ve got this, Lena, I know I do, and it has franchise written all over it. I have to be careful, though. I’ll need to do something small in between the series. Maybe something indie that gets some festival buzz. We should start looking.’

‘Slow down,’ she said. ‘Yes, if all goes well, you’ll be spending your summer in a stunt car on the back of a flatbed truck, looking as if you’re driving all over Los Angeles. But it’s not a sure thing yet.’

He clenched his fists, nodding. ‘I’m not going to sleep until we get an answer. Tell Nancy to call as soon as she has any news. Tell her not to worry about what time it is here.’

‘First, you need to sleep,’ Lena said. ‘You’ve still got another movie to finish and you can’t have bags under your eyes. You’re the romantic lead. Second, tell her yourself. I’m your manager, not your assistant.’

He laughed. ‘I love you, Lena.’

‘Ethan.’

‘Come on.’ He grinned at his laptop screen. ‘You love me too. I’m genuinely loveable.’

‘You’re genuinely annoying.’

He chuckled. ‘I’d better go, I ah…’ He needed to call Hazel, because he had a feeling he’d genuinely fucked up. ‘I need to get out of this shirt before I sweat through it.’

Tomato seeds sprayed across the counter as Hazel chopped angrily. Though why she was so angry, she wasn’t entirely sure. She wasn’t Ethan’s girlfriend. They were friends with benefits. Really hot benefits. But wouldn’t he tell a friend his possibly life-changing news? Had he told Sera? She bet he’d told Sera. Bitterness flooded her throat and she dropped miserably onto a kitchen chair. When had she become some jealous not-even-an-actual-girlfriend?

Her phone dinged and she snatched it up, certain it would be Ethan. But it wasn’t him, and bitter disappointment lodged in her throat. It was Eddie texting to see if she wanted to join him for a drink at a new bar on Main Beach. She frowned. She did feel like a drink. In fact, she felt like ten. But she should wait for Ethan to call.

Hang on, why exactly should she be waiting on him? He’d said he’d call her when he finished, but who knew when that would be? It had already been three hours; it could be another three for all she knew. How long did Hollywood Zoom meetings take?

She screwed up her face. Nothing about how she was feeling felt good. With a determined nod, she decided to accept Eddie’s invitation before she drove herself crazy.

The second she started to type a response, Kevin leapt onto her lap and curled into a tight ball. She stared at her cat. His timing was phenomenal. She tossed her phone onto the counter, the text unsent.

‘Great. Now I’m trapped on this chair for the rest of my life,’ she moaned as she gently patted Kevin. He grumbled, and she rolled her eyes. Bloody contrary cat.

Ethan strode from his bathroom in a cloud of steam, a towel wrapped low around his hips. He grabbed a T-shirt off the chair in the corner of his room, dragged it over his head and tugged on his jeans. Flopping onto the end of his bed, he steeled himself to ring Hazel. He had no idea why he hadn’t let her in. It wasn’t as if she was going to hover over him during his meetings. She could have taken Harry for a walk. Then she would have been there when Ethan had finished up and she could have celebrated with him. Instead, as usual, he was on his own when something huge happened in his life. What a dick he was. He’d popped out earlier to pick up a bottle of champagne so they could crack it open when she arrived. He was thinking they could order in some food and have dinner together. After he’d apologised ten or twenty times. His knee bounced as he waited for her to answer.

Hazel answered with a brusque, ‘Hi.’

‘What are you up to?’ he asked.

‘Making pizza. For one.’

Oof. She was pissed off. He had to swallow a laugh. He liked how fiery she was, and he liked that she didn’t put up with his shit.

‘I’m so sorry about earlier and about messing up our plans,’ he said. ‘But you know that movie I’ve been talking about? The action one? I had an audition for it and they liked it so much they wanted to take a meeting with me today. Then I had to talk to my agent and Lena, so—’

‘I know about the audition,’ she said. ‘I ran into Ellie in the supermarket, she mentioned it. Don’t be mad at her, she obviously assumed you would have told me.’ She let a beat pass. ‘She also said you’ll be going straight to LA once you’ve wrapped here.’

He leaned his elbows on his knees and squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Yep, if I get it, that’s correct. But that’s weeks away and I haven’t got it yet, so I’m not going anywhere for a while. I would have told you last night, but we weren’t alone. Are you… mad at me?’

‘About the audition? Of course I’m not mad about the audition. I’m thrilled for you. But the door being slammed in my face? Yes, I’m mad about that. I know I’m probably not allowed to be mad about it, but I am.’

He flopped back onto the mattress, draping an arm across his forehead. ‘I’m sorry. I was stressed and in business mode and when I’m like that, sometimes I don’t think about anything else. I need to work on that. And of course you’re allowed to be mad about it. I feel like a dick, if that helps any.’

‘You called me babe. Babe, Ethan,’ she said. ‘I don’t know if that’s what you call your other women, but I didn’t appreciate it. It was dismissive.’

He winced, feeling the full and familiar weight of her judgement and knowing he deserved it. He took a long, slow breath.

‘You’re my only woman, Hazel,’ he said. ‘And I hate that I made you feel like you were being dismissed. You’re weren’t. You never will be. I’m so sorry.’

Silence settled between them and his throat tightened. He wasn’t going to see her, and it was all his fault. He’d blown everything by being exactly the guy she’d thought he was.

‘Hey,’ he said. ‘Why don’t I give you a chance to cool down and we can talk later? Ring me whenever you feel like it. Go enjoy your pizza.’ When she didn’t respond, he stared at his phone and realised that she had ended the call without a goodbye.

Ethan dropped his head into his hands, all his excitement evaporating in a sea of disappointment.

Hazel glared at her phone. Great, now she wasn’t even seeing Ethan when that was all she wanted to do. Who exactly was she punishing? They only had a handful of weeks together, why was she wasting time?

She snatched up her phone again and quickly typed out a message.

Hazel: I’m sorry for ruining your vibe. That was selfish of me. I’m thrilled for you. Honest. Sorry. xxx

Just as she pressed send, a text from Ethan appeared.

Ethan: I’m sorry for ruining our arvo. I want the chance to make it up to you. Over and over and over.

She blinked at the over and over and over, heat blossoming between her thighs.

Hazel: Ok, I lied. There’s enough pizza for two.

Hazel and Ethan’s legs were once again tangled as they squeezed together on her two-seater in a post-pizza coma.

‘I need to tell you something,’ she said. ‘I only organised it yesterday, or I’d have mentioned it sooner, but I have to go to Sydney next weekend. That won’t be a problem, will it? I don’t think it clashes with your schedule.’ His lips pressed gently against her hair.

‘It’s only a problem because I’ll miss you. Is everything okay?’

‘I’ve arranged a catch-up with the woman who owns one of my favourite restaurants. She’s keen to chat about future possibilities, and I’m hoping to make a connection that might help me down the track. Who knows. I figure it can’t hurt.’ She’d thought long and hard about what Violet had said and she’d decided to tell him exactly what she was doing. But there was no point talking about the job that she’d already knocked back.

‘Networking is definitely the way to go,’ he said. ‘What’s the restaurant?’

‘Molti Pesci in Freshwater.’

‘Oh, that place is amazing.’

‘It is. I’ve always dreamed of working there. They’re opening one in Bondi too, so fingers crossed I’ll hit it off with the owner.’

‘I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t.’ He wrapped his arms around her a little tighter, and gently squeezed.

‘I’m going to miss home,’ he said softly. ‘Everything about it. I’ve fought the move to LA for a couple of years now. I know it will be good for my career, and if I get this movie I’ll be there anyway. But, I don’t know. I want to live where I want to live, not where I need to live. I look forward to the day I’m as successful as Chris Hemsworth and I can live wherever I please and still get the big movies.’

‘You also wanted to give yourself a break to get over, you know, other stuff. Remember?’

‘I don’t think I need to give myself that break anymore. I think I might have been hanging onto something that wasn’t there because that was all I had to hang onto. I do have a tendency to hold onto stuff,’ he said. ‘But things have definitely changed.’

He ran his hand up and down her arm, sending goosebumps tingling over her skin. She lifted her chin to catch his eyes and saw that they were already on her, crinkling at the corners with his smile. She took a slow breath, then another. She wanted to ask, but knew she shouldn’t. Except, she wanted to. She needed to.

‘So… what changed, movie star?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, just things, babe.’ His mouth curved into a lopsided grin.

‘Don’t even joke.’ She thumped him on the shoulder, then quickly pressed her lips to his, capturing his ‘Ow!’

‘Can I ask you one more thing?’ she said.

‘Sure.’

‘You said something to me the day we had the fight about the waiter—’

‘The careless smile day?’

‘Shh. Don’t remind me. You said that you kind of liked that I hadn’t seen your movies. Why? Are you embarrassed?’

‘No not at all. I’d love for you to see them. But it was…’ He thought for a moment, his eyes laser focused on hers. ‘Refreshing that you hadn’t. You were refreshing. I liked that. You intrigued me. Most people react to me a certain way… your reaction was the opposite.’ He laughed. ‘Though, thankfully, that’s changed.’

‘How can you be so sure?’

He smiled at her, his eyes narrowed. Then they were kissing again, wrapped around each other, fingers slipping under clothes and bare feet tangling. Hazel could have stayed there crammed on her couch kissing him all night. His hands were big and soft and strong, and when one of them tentatively slid under the elastic of her leggings, she opened her thighs a little and let him in. His thumb found exactly the right spot and applied exactly the right amount of pressure to make her quietly moan. She shuddered out a breath, her hips rolling to meet his touch. She fumbled one hand to the waistband of his jeans and unsuccessfully tried to unzip them. With his free hand, he slid his zipper down, then took her hand and guided it inside his boxer briefs, pressing her palm against his scorching flesh. She closed her fist around his thick, rock-hard shaft and pumped up and down.

‘Fuck,’ he growled.

Their bodies naturally twisted into each other as their fingers and hands worked.

‘I’m going over the edge here,’ he whispered into her hair.

‘So soon?’ she whispered back.

‘I meant the edge of the couch.’ He chuckled.

‘Oh.’ Her hand stopped moving. ‘Should we stop?’

‘Fuck no. I just need to get closer.’

His free hand looped across her shoulder, holding her as he shuffled nearer.

‘Am I squashing you?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ she whispered on a gasp. ‘But I don’t care.’ Her eyes were squeezed shut while she focused on the hot and liquidy sensation building in her belly, her hand moving along his length with hitching strokes.

He groaned again and slid one long finger, then two, inside her. Hazel’s thighs quaked as he slid his fingers in and out, matching the rhythm of her hand.

‘Hazel. Look at me,’ he said, and her eyes fluttered open to see him gazing at her, his stare dark and glassy.

‘You’re fucking beautiful,’ he growled. ‘Are you getting close? I’m not sure how long I can hang on to me or this couch.’

‘Mm,’ she whimpered, and his fingers moved faster.

‘You go first,’ he said. ‘I want to watch.’

‘No… you… go first.’

‘Are we really going to argue about this?’ Their breathing was ragged.

‘Together?’ Her voice trembled.

‘That only happens in the movies.’ Then his thumb was on her nipple, flicking back and forth, the material of her tank top increasing the friction with each not so delicate movement. That was all she needed.

‘No ffffff-air,’ she wheezed out as her body seized, and a wave of rapture crashed over her, drowning her in bliss. She moaned, spasming around his fingers as the most intense pleasure she’d ever experienced exploded inside her with white-hot heat. More intense than his tongue, or when they fucked on his glorious kitchen counter. This was raw and wild and intimate. The two of them squeezed together, the foreheads touching as their hands worked to satisfy each other. Her heart raced, thundering, desperately trying to contain her multitude of mixed-up emotions.

‘I could watch you come all day,’ he said, his voice a rasp.

‘I don’t think I could cope with doing that all day.’

He chuckled and kissed her forehead.

‘Now I get to watch you,’ she said, still thrumming, her heart swelling with every beat as she stared into his passion-blown eyes. His hand was still down her tights, his fingers still curled into her warmth.

When her hand began to move again, he moaned.

‘That’s good,’ he said. ‘Go faster. Harder.’

She did what he asked and was rewarded with a sound that vibrated over her skin. A primal grunt of pure pleasure that would be with her forever.

‘Fuck.’ The word tumbled from his lips, and then he whispered her name with such reverence she could barely catch her breath. He shattered, his eyes squeezed tight, his long lashes fluttering and his skin flushed. He was magnificent. So magnificent that Hazel suddenly worried she might be just a little in love with him.

His fingers were digging into her shoulder as he held himself in place, and she knew she’d probably be bruised tomorrow. But she didn’t move and neither did he. They lay there, winded, riding out the last moments of their shared euphoria, lost in a silence so heavy Hazel wanted to cry.

‘This is a lot more comfortable than that couch,’ Ethan said, stretching his feet out over the edge of the mattress and wiggling them. ‘We really need to use a bed more often.’

‘I don’t know,’ Hazel said, snuggling into his side. ‘I like that we mix it up.’

They were curled up on Hazel’s bed, sheets rumpled around them and the TV on. It was cake week on The Great British Bake Off.

‘I love this show,’ she said for about the tenth time as the contestants squatted in front of their ovens, waiting for the cakes to cook. ‘Everyone is so nice to each other. I love watching the utter chaos, and I love how the contestants amaze themselves. They’re always so proud of their finished work. I understand that pride. I miss it.’

He traced the backs of his fingers over her shoulder and down her arm. ‘You’ll be back in the kitchen feeling that pride before you know it,’ he said. ‘Someone’s going to snap you up.’ She stretched up and kissed his cheek, then rested her head against his chest. His finger twisted around a strand of her pink hair.

‘Wait, was that sugar?’ he asked, watching one of the contestants pour a measuring jug full of something white into a mixing bowl.

‘Yep,’ she said.

‘No one should eat that much sugar,’ he said. ‘And in a zucchini cake? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a cake made from vegetables?’ Hazel laughed and tweaked his nipple, making him wince. ‘Ow.’ He chuckled. She patiently explained what each contestant was making, and he studied the way her face lit up as she talked through all the ingredients, the flavours and the textures, and how they worked together. He could listen to her talk about food for the rest of his life. It felt so right, lying there with her watching TV. They felt so right.

‘Will you make me a celebration cake if I get the part I auditioned for?’ He ran his foot up and down her shin.

‘I’ll make you a zucchini one,’ she said.

‘Still haven’t forgiven me for the babe thing, huh?’

‘Never forgiving that. But I guess you sort of made up for it.’

‘Only sort of?’ He cocked a brow.

‘Bit of work to do yet.’

‘Lucky I’m staying the night then.’ He grinned.

As the contestants nervously waited to see who would be leaving the Bake Off tent that week, Ethan’s face grew serious. ‘You know I ah… talked to Chris.’

She pushed up on her elbows. ‘You did? How’d it go?’

‘It went… good. Surprisingly easy. I should have done it years ago. I’m never going to let anything drag on like that again.’ He swept a strand of hair from her face and gently tucked it behind her ear. ‘I’m sorry about earlier. I’m sorry I let you down.’

‘We all get a bit wrapped up in ourselves sometimes. I’ve spent most of the last year like that. You’ve got big stuff happening and I understand it’s important.’

‘But so are you,’ he said. ‘You’re important too, Hazel.’

He touched his lips to her shoulder and she nodded, her own lips pressed tight together as she turned back to the TV. Her silence was like a lead balloon on his chest. He was doing everything wrong, and he was definitely breaking the promise he’d made. Because it was going to hurt like hell when he had to say goodbye.

‘You’re important too, Kev!’ he called out to the cat, to lighten the mood. Kevin glared at him as if he was being cheated on. ‘I think he’s jealous,’ Ethan said.

‘Well, he is in love with you.’ Hazel said. ‘You might want to be nice to him. It was basically Kevin’s devotion to you that softened me up.’

‘It wasn’t my irrepressible charm and stunning good looks?’ He waggled his eyebrows.

‘Good god no. That had the opposite effect.’ She shrugged. ‘But when a perpetually indifferent cat falls in love, it must mean something.’

Ethan cupped her cheek, every part of him pounding with something he knew he shouldn’t be feeling. But he couldn’t help it, and worse, he didn’t want to. He wanted to love her and he wanted to do it for a long, long time. He just had to figure out how. He smiled, one leg flopping over hers.

‘Why don’t I look after Kevin next weekend? It’s only the one night, right?’

‘Just the Saturday. But Doris next door can look in on him, I’ve already asked her.’

‘Then unask her. Because apparently I owe my lucky black cat some extra love, and he’s going to come and stay with me. What do you think, Kev?’ he called. ‘Do you want a boys’ night in with me and Harry?’

Kevin looked up and meowed.