Chapter Thirty
Ethan packed the broken butterfly toy into a bag, along with the other unused cat toys he’d bought, all of which Kevin had utterly ignored. Hazel had texted from the airport saying she’d pick Kevin up from Ethan’s house. He’d offered to take the cat home and meet her there, but she’d insisted. So he’d put a bottle of bubbly on ice, tidied up the house, even wiping down the enormous tub, just in case. Then he’d showered, changed – twice – and was now waiting, his knee bouncing nervously. He was looking forward to hearing how her meeting went and then sharing his amazing news. He knew getting the part screwed up their plans of a week away together, but he had some new plans to float, which he hoped she’d be on board with.
He hadn’t meant to fall in love with Hazel, but once his eyes met hers there was no way he could have stopped it happening. And he wasn’t sad about it. It was inconvenient timing for sure, story of his life, but he was still happy that they’d acted on their feelings.
Ethan had been going over and over it in his mind, thinking about how they could make it work. If they could keep the heat going long-distance, which he was sure they could, maybe they’d have a future. LA was only fifteen hours away, and he’d only be gone for a year, maybe two. If she was into the idea, he’d be more than happy to give it a go. They still had time to work out the details. He’d broach it with her in a few weeks, when they were really in a groove. For now, he had a couple of ideas on how they could make the best of the weeks they had left.
Hazel wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting in the car outside Ethan’s house. Ten minutes? Thirty? Every time she’d tried to get out, her legs wouldn’t move. She had to tell Ethan about her new job, tell him she was breaking her commitment to him and ask for his help getting released from her contract. The thought made her sick. This wasn’t the homecoming he was expecting, and it wasn’t the one she’d originally planned. Her stomach ached.
Come on Hazel, this is your future. He’s ambitious too, he’ll understand.
Besides, if he got that part he’d be one hundred per cent focused on that. She’d caught a glimpse of that focus on his doorstep the other day, of what he was like in business mode – and that was just for a meeting. If he got the part, he wouldn’t have time for her. He wouldn’t even have time to miss her. She drew an unsteady breath and pushed open the car door. It was probably easier like this anyway, to make the break now, before she got in any deeper. Because even if he never broke his promises, she was already breaking hers.
Hazel’s finger hovered over Ethan’s doorbell, but before she could press it the door swung back and there he was. He was wearing a pale blue T-shirt that set off his eyes, his dimples exploding left and right and his thighs bulging out from a tiny pair of navy running shorts.
‘Hey,’ he said, all bright and smiley and happy. ‘Harry heard you.’
Hazel looked down at Harry bouncing around her feet. She scruffed the little dog’s head. She was deserting him, too.
‘How’d it all go?’ she asked. ‘Did Kevin behave himself?’
‘Sort of,’ Ethan said. ‘We got into a rhythm. But he sure shits a lot.’
She laughed. ‘He does, I guess.’ Looking past Ethan, she asked, ‘Where is he? I should grab him.’
‘You’re going home already?’ He frowned.
‘Oh. No. Not straight away.’
Ethan unfurled a dazzling smile, slid an arm around her waist and drew her into his chest, his mouth finding hers in a hot-lipped kiss.
She stiffened, then melted against him, because all she wanted to do was hold him and kiss him. Her mouth opened to welcome his tongue, her fingers slipping under the hem of his T-shirt and onto his warm skin, stroking his waist, her fingertips grazing his hip bones. He moaned softly against her, his mouth moving to her throat, then to her shoulder, planting tiny kisses one by one. He stepped back, his hands taking hers.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he said. ‘Obviously.’
‘Same,’ she said.
‘I’ve got news,’ he said, ushering her inside.
‘Me too.’
‘You go first. How’d the meeting go? Any prospects?’
‘Ah… you go first.’ Hazel didn’t want to go first. She didn’t want to go second, either. She didn’t want to tell him at all. She just wanted to be in his arms, and when he heard what she was going to say, she wasn’t sure he’d want her there anymore.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Well…’ His face erupted into the widest smile she’d seen yet. ‘I got the part. I got the fucking part, Hazel!’
‘Oh my god, Ethan. That’s amazing.’ She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her off her feet, spinning her around and around. She laughed, everything briefly forgotten as she looked down into his lovely face, radiating pure sunshine.
He put her down gently, his hands resting on her shoulders, exuberance still oozing out of him.
‘I was going to ring you,’ he said, ‘but I didn’t want to interrupt your trip. It’s a two-picture deal, with an option for a third. I honestly can’t believe it.’
‘I can,’ she said. Now they both had something to focus on other than each other. It was going to be fine.
‘I know this fucks up our whole island holiday idea,’ he said.
‘That’s okay. This is a little bigger than that.’
‘Well, I’ve been thinking that if my schedule works out, we might be able to get away for a long weekend or two when we head down the coast to the studio complex. The shooting hours shouldn’t be that bad. No more night shoots. I’m sure we can squeeze something in somewhere.’
Her stomach sank with each word he uttered, excitedly describing plans she wouldn’t be part of.
‘I was also thinking,’ he went on. ‘And please feel free to say no, but I was thinking you could stay with me instead of getting your own place. I’m sure Lena’s organised me some eight-bedroom unit overlooking the beach.’ He laughed. ‘That way, we can make use of every minute we have, and then after that—’
‘Ethan.’ Hazel held up her hand. She had to stop him.
‘Shit.’ He slapped his forehead. ‘Sorry, I got overexcited. Forget about staying together. You’ll have your own place. I got carried awa—’
‘Ethan, stop.’
His mouth clamped shut, a frown crossing his face.
‘I need to tell you something.’ She took his hand and led him to the kitchen. ‘Sit,’ she said, positioning him in front of a chair. He dropped onto the seat, his hands automatically reaching for her and curling around the sides of her waist.
‘What is it?’ he asked, worry swirling on his brow.
She hesitated. Maybe now wasn’t the time. Maybe she should tell him tomorrow, after they’d spent the night celebrating his success. But before she could stop herself, the words fell from her mouth.
‘I’ve accepted a job at Molti Pesci, and they want me to start immediately. I’ve told them I need at least a week because I have that shift with Chef Max and I need to sort out someone new to help you with Harry.’ She stopped, taking a deep breath.
He stared at her, his face dropping, and her heart ached as she watched all his excitement fade away.
She waited for him to speak, but the silence stretched on. ‘Ethan?’
He blinked. ‘Um, but you have a contract,’ he said. ‘I thought we’d at least have these last weeks.’
‘I know, I’m sorry. But Ethan, I couldn’t pass this job up. It’s the chance of a lifetime. It’s a head chef position. I mean not straight away, but that’s their vision for me, and in seven weeks, less than seven weeks, you’ll be in Hollywood working on your new movie and I’ll be unemployed again, so…’ She snagged her lip between her teeth anxiously.
‘Right. I just kind of feel like you’re ditching me.’
‘I’m not ditching you, Ethan. I’m grabbing an opportunity. Remember when you said we all had to do that? Grab the opportunities in front of us?’ She set her jaw. ‘Or did you only mean opportunities for you?’
‘What? Hazel, of course not. Why would you even say that? It’s just… you didn’t tell me there was a job. You told me you had a meeting about the future. That you were just networking. I didn’t even know this was on the table.’
‘Neither did I. This was only supposed to be a meeting. But when Natalia told me what the job was and offered it to me again…’ She swallowed. ‘Ethan, it’s everything I’ve ever worked for. I couldn’t turn it down. I couldn’t.’
He nodded. ‘I know, and I wouldn’t expect you to. But you should’ve told me the whole story. You said she offered you the job again. So they’d offered you the job before?’
Oh god.Her chest tightened, the air heavy in her lungs.
‘I’ve known there was a job for a while,’ she said. ‘I got an email about it. After the night we first kissed.’
His hands fell from her sides, the warmth of his touch evaporating.
‘But I’d said no to it, because of you and my commitment to you. I had no intention of changing my mind. But then… well… head chef.’
His eyes were downcast. ‘I get it,’ he said. ‘I just wish you’d told me there was even a small chance. Then I could have mentally prepared myself.’ He pushed off the chair, moved towards the windows and stared out at the ocean, his back to Hazel. ‘So you’re leaving in a week?’
‘More or less. But Ethan, this was always going to happen. We’re just fast-forwarding it. You were always going to end up in LA living your big movie-star life and I was always going to be here. It’s probably better this way, before we get in too deep.’
He huffed out a ‘hmmm’, shaking his head. Then his shoulders rose and fell with a long sigh.
‘I’d been having all these crazy ideas about us,’ he said. ‘Wondering whether we could ride this thing out, try long-distance and see if we could make it work. I’d somehow convinced myself we could. That there was enough here to try. But I guess we’re not on the same page.’ He absent-mindedly rubbed his arm where his scar hid beneath his sleeve.
The last bit of breath left her body. She’d had no idea he’d been harbouring dreams of happily-ever-afters. Two days ago his words might have lit her up with possibility, but now… Now they sliced through her, filleting her down to her soul. She stared at him, his back still turned to her.
‘We made a promise to each other, Ethan. That we’d keep this thing light, just a bit of fun, with no expectations of long-distance, of back and forth, or me moving to another country for you. We were always supposed to be short-term. We knew that going in. There was never supposed to be an us.’
His voice shook. ‘Well, I guess I broke my promise,’ he said.
‘You told me you never break your promises.’
‘There’s always a first time.’ He turned and stared at her, his eyes blazing. Then a shadow fell over them, and his face lost all its light.
‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘You’re right. It probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. We’re too busy for long-distance. We’d never see each other, and we’d only regret trying. I’m happy for you Hazel. I know this is what you’ve always wanted. Congratulations.’ His throat bobbed over a deep swallow, then, all business, he said, ‘I’ll talk to the production office about releasing you from your contract. It’s fine, it won’t be a problem.’ He stopped, his gaze flitting over her face. ‘I think Kevin snuck upstairs,’ he said. ‘I’ll go find him, okay?’
Hot tears scorched the corners of Hazel’s eyes. She’d imagined he might be angry, or that he might just let her go, and that would have hurt, but this hurt more. Hurting him hurt so much more.
‘I don’t have to leave right now,’ she almost a whispered.
The ridges across his forehead deepened. ‘Yeah… I think you do.’
‘Ethan.’ Her voice quivered. ‘I don’t want us to end like this.’
She reached for his hand, but he drew it away.
‘According to you,’ he said softly, ‘there never was an us.’