Chapter Five
Damon
“You need to calm down, my brother,” Jag says when we are alone, eating the rest of his mango. I want to shove it in his face. “If you want her, then go and get her.”
If only it were that easy. I can’t do that to her. There are too many obstacles standing in our way, the main being I cannot bear to put her in any danger. I’ve seen what Julianna and Bella have been through. And as much as I know they love their men and that it is their choice to be part of this world, I can’t willingly do that. I watched my mother do it time and time again—and look where she ended up.
Dead.
No thanks.
Stretching my neck from side to side, I try to calm myself down. When I saw Jag with his arms around her, and the way he was looking at her, it just set me off.
But he’s right.
“Just trying to save you from a beating,” I lie, grabbing a beer from the fridge and leaning against the counter in the spot Corey just vacated.
“From you or River?” he replies, arching his brow. He doesn’t seem fazed, and it’s just another reminder of why he belongs here. He fits right in with the rest of us assholes.
“River,” I reply, but we both know that might not be true. The smart bastard.
“Uh-huh,” he comments, throwing the mango pit in the bin and turning to me. “Did she stock your favorite foods? Because she did mine.”
With a cocky smirk he leaves the kitchen, while I stare at the pantry, wondering if she even knows what my favorite snacks are.
I mean, I have a few. Some are well known, like peanut M&M’s and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and when I open the cupboard, both of them are in there.
The last thing that I’ve been addicted to for the last few months is butter pecan ice cream. I’m not here as often as I am the Angels clubhouse, but I did put some in the freezer a few weeks back, which I have since finished.
I open the freezer, and there it is.
Butter pecan.
I smile as I close the freezer, then walk toward her room to find her. Her living here is part of the reason I’m not around as much as I could be.
“Corey?” I call out, with a gentle knock.
She opens the door slightly. “What do you want?”
“Just to chat,” I say, shrugging.
The truth is I don’t know what I want, and I shouldn’t be here right now. I should stay away from her, and focus on the club business, which in turn keeps her and everyone I love safe.
But for some reason I can’t.
When she’s around, it’s hard to avoid her. I want to be near her. There is a lightness that she brings to my life. She pulls me away from the darkness.
“Chat about what?” she asks, opening the door wider. I can see her easel, and Bella’s let it slip that she spends a lot of her time painting now that she’s put college on hold.
“Is the butter pecan ice cream in the freezer for me?” I ask, grinning.
Hazel eyes narrow. “It’s for everyone.”
“It’s my favorite flavor.”
“I know,” she replies, then winces. “It’s still for everyone, though. Why are you at my door talking about ice cream? I’m sure you have other things to do. I sure do.”
We stare at each other, because we both know this isn’t the conversation we’re supposed to be having. But I know I’m not ready for that, and then I remember her comment in the kitchen. “What did you mean by ‘did I enjoy my lunch’?”
“I went to get the groceries and saw you with your little girlfriend,” she explains, pursing her full lips. “Looks like it’s pretty serious. Maybe you should be hanging around her bedroom door instead?”
She closes the door, and I sigh, resting my forehead against it.
Melinda. She’s supposed to be a distraction. Someone to get me to stop thinking about Corey. But it’s proving to be more trouble than it is worth.
Corey sure does give as good as she gets, I’ll give her that much. I need to let this...thing between us go.
“Damon?” I hear Romeo call out, and follow his voice back into the kitchen.
“There you are,” he says, rummaging through the fridge. “Julianna and Julian are about to come here, and she wants you to go with her to the office one last time before she hands over the keys.”
Hands over the keys to Melinda.
Julian is their son, who is only a few months old. He’s the cutest little boy ever, and we all adore him. Although saying Julianna and Julian together is quite the mouthful.
“Okay, on it,” I reply, glancing back toward the hallway that leads to Corey’s room.
“I see Corey has stocked up the kitchen,” Romeo comments, grinning as he spots his favorite beer. “I don’t know how she does it, but I’m glad that she’s here.”
My lip twitches. “She somehow gets something for everyone.”
“Who does?” Julianna says as she walks in the kitchen, wearing an all-pink business suit. Her large handbag on one arm and her son wrapped in the other. Mother and businesswoman all in one.
Romeo reaches for both Julian and her bag and gives her a kiss. I still sometimes have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that the head of the Devils MC fell in love with the princess of the Angels MC and joined the two clubs. They sure did turn everything on its head and managed to do it without too much bloodshed. They’re lucky.
“Corey,” Romeo says before nuzzling his son. Watching a biker with his child is a wild thing to see. He goes from pit bull to poodle in a heartbeat. “She went to the grocery store and stocked up for the clubhouse.”
“Ah, yes. Thank god for her. Between the real estate business and Julian and the club, I’m so grateful she was willing to take over the role of looking after the clubhouse.”
This is news to me. “What do you mean, take over the role?”
“Well, I’m technically supposed to be in charge of this stuff as the president’s ‘old lady,’” she says while rolling her eyes and giving air quotes. “But I’m leading this MC with Romeo, so I don’t necessarily have time for some of the ‘old lady’ duties.”
“Will you stop with the air quotes?” Romeo asks playfully. “You’re giving me a complex. Can’t you be both my equal and my old lady?”
“Nope,” Julianna says, and then leans in to give him a kiss. “I have too many titles here and ‘old lady’ isn’t even top ten to me. Corey asked for a more active role in the MC since she’s living here and wanted to pull her own weight.”
What the fuck? Why didn’t I know this? Why the hell would she want an active role in the MC?
Maybe you’d know if you stopped avoiding her.
My inner voice needs to go suck a dick.
“Active role?” I ask, needing to know what is going on here.
Julianna turns to me, apparently remembering I’m in the room. “After everything that happened with Matthew, we told her she can stay at the clubhouse permanently and she said she only would if she had a role in the MC since it wasn’t right to stay without contributing. Romeo and I discussed it, and I knew I would not fill the stereotypical role of old lady, so I asked her to help with that stuff.” Julianna starts counting on her fingers. “Make sure the fridge is always full, help me organize club events and parties, handle the clubhouse expenses, those kinds of things.”
Huh. That makes sense and sounds like Corey. She doesn’t like handouts. And it sounds like she’s not going to be leaving the clubhouse anytime soon.
I try not to think about what that might mean for me long-term.
“Ready to go?” I ask, taking out the keys to my car.
Julianna leaves Julian with Romeo and she and I head to the office. Melinda isn’t there, lucky for me, but we take the last few items and hand the keys over to one of her staff members.
“Well, that’s the end of that,” she comments, looking up at the building. “And now we’ll make more money from the rent.”
“So everyone is just working from home?” I ask, amused.
“Pretty much. We have an office set up in both clubhouses and eventually, when the joint clubhouse is ready, we’ll have a massive one,” she explains, tucking her long blonde hair behind her ear.
“And when will that happen?” I ask, wondering what living with Corey is going to be like. Right now, with Corey still here at the Devils’, I can leave and get away when I need to, but when we’re all together I’m going to see her every damn day. And now that I know Corey’s here to stay, I need to figure this thing out.
Yeah, that’s going to be hard.
“Most likely in a few months, when the renovations are all done. By the way, what’s going on with you and the blonde?” she asks when we get back into the car.
I swear, I can’t do anything around here without having to explain myself to multiple women. However, in Julianna’s case, if she didn’t like my woman, then there would be a problem. She’s the queen bee, and her not approving would make my life hell.
“Nothing much, it was just something casual. I saw her earlier today and told her we couldn’t see each other anymore.”
“Oh yeah, how’d she take it?”
I tilt my head, considering. “Fine. I mean, I didn’t give her an option, but I think she took it well. She knows I’m not looking for anything more than casual,” I say, reversing the car and driving off.
“Then why is she chasing after the car looking like she wants to kill you?” Julianna asks, amusement and concern mixed in her tone.
I look in the rearview mirror, and sure enough, Melinda is running after the car with a red shoe in her hand. To throw at me?
“Fuck,” I grit out, and slow the car down until it comes to a stop. We’re still in the parking lot, and luckily there aren’t many cars around. I put the car in park and get out, just as she throws her shoe at my chest. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I fucking hate you!” she yells as she pushes at my chest.
The second Julianna sees this she gets out of the car and comes over. “You better keep your hands to yourself. He might not hit women, but I do.”
Damn.
That seems to work. Melinda takes a step back and starts crying. “I hope I never see you again! You are an asshole, you know that?”
I honestly have no idea why she’s so upset. She was fine at the restaurant. “I know this is an unpopular question, but what did I do?”
This makes her cry harder. “You made me fall for you!”
I’m seriously so confused. It’s been a week since we met, and we’ve hung out maybe three times? She yells at me for about another minute before Julianna tells her, “Okay, that’s enough, I think you should leave now.”
We both get back into the car, and I look up into my rearview mirror to see Melinda standing there, still staring daggers at me.
“Shit,” Julianna says. “Do you have a golden penis? Were you seeing her long?”
“Less than a week!” I say. I know traditionally guys are the players and the villains in these stories, but I don’t understand how one week constitutes this level of response.
Julianna laughs. “Holy shit, you do have a golden penis! She must have fallen hard—and fast.”
I smirk. “Thanks for having my back,” I say, clearing my throat and trying to shake my confusion and embarrassment. I really wish she didn’t have to see that.
“Of course,” she replies. “And what is going on with you and Corey, then?”
I go silent for a few seconds, and she loses her patience. “Damon, tell me. You can trust me.”
“I’ve been avoiding this thing with Corey and so when I met Melinda and she showed interest, I thought, well, maybe this will be good. Maybe I can have this thing with Melinda to get my mind off Corey.”
And it had been some time, and I was horny.
“Clearly Melinda did not get the memo.”
I wince. “Yeah, but in my defense I always told her I wanted something casual.”
“So what happened?”
“I couldn’t get my mind off Corey, despite trying.”
“Oh,” is all Julianna says as she starts putting everything together.
“I know,” I reply, clearing my throat. “Corey saw her, and she got angry, and then I realized I still want her. I don’t know. I knew I had to end things with Melinda, that it wouldn’t be fair to keep seeing her, but I didn’t expect this reaction.”
I stay silent for a bit as I turn at an intersection, heading back to the clubhouse. “I didn’t tell Corey I ended things with Melinda, because there are still other reasons we can’t be together right now.”
I glance over and see Julianna’s eyes widen at my honesty. “Because of everything going on with the club?”
“Mostly that. I need to focus, and there’s a lot of pressure on me right now. But then there’s also her age, River, where we are in life...”
“Damon, I’ve known you for years and these all sound like stupid excuses. What’s the real reason?”
Leave it to Julianna to give it to me straight.
I sigh, knowing she won’t let me out of this conversation. “I know you chose this life. I know you accepted the consequences for falling in love with a biker. But it’s dangerous. Corey got kidnapped and she wasn’t even dating anyone in the club. I can’t put her in that kind of danger. I refuse to let any woman I’m with be threatened like that. And before you say anything, I know Romeo and River accept that you and Bella made your choices. But I can’t do it.”
Instead of telling me I’m being stupid or that I need to let Corey choose, Julianna sits and contemplates what I just said. We drive in silence for a beat. During this time, I see a car that’s following me a little too closely. All tinted windows. Turning wherever I turn.
“That’s incredibly admirable, Damon. This life is hard. And dangerous. And it’s not meant for everyone. But Corey was born into it. She’s like me. She knows what the sacrifices and dangers are in being with a biker—”
“I could never do that to her. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love when they choose danger.”
And I’ve said too much. There’s a reason people don’t know much about me before I joined the club.
I take a quick look in the side mirror, careful not to alert Julianna of what I suspect and grateful that we’re almost back to the clubhouse.
“Your mother?” Julianna asks in a whisper.
“Yeah. She used to work on the Strip. She met a man, fell hard, got pregnant with me. Same old story. He made her a lot of promises, but he had a wife. So my mother was a kept woman and was fine with it. He took care of her and me, I guess. But he was in business with typical bad people. Loan sharks, mobsters, cartels. I think he laundered money for them. When I was about ten, some drama went down with his wife and my mother, and he moved us to another location, a less safe location. You know the story. Someone found out where we were, and when I was at school one day, they got to her.”
I look over to Julianna, who has a hand over her mouth. My story is tragic, which she already kind of knew, but what can I do about it? My mother chose love because she thought love was all you need. I know better. She had terrible taste in men, and in the end, it caught up to her.
“You’re scared, I get it,” she declares. “But Damon, you can’t let fear dictate who you love.”
I go quiet once again. I feel kind of relieved to actually tell someone about how I’ve been feeling, to get it off my chest.
“So you’re just going to let her think you’re still seeing Melinda?” she presses, shaking her head. “And what happens if Corey moves on and starts dating someone? Then what?”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel.
“I don’t understand why you’re both resisting, yet secretly want each other. Or maybe not so secretly, because I think we all know.”
“I don’t know,” is all I have to say. “See, it’s complicated with Corey. And it’s not with anyone else. I don’t want any added drama in my life.”
“That’s because you don’t care about anyone else like you do her,” she replies in a gentle tone. “Good things aren’t easy. And look, I know you’re worried about putting her in danger, and I know River is difficult, and they are valid points, but you’re using that as an excuse. We all make it work somehow. And the drama? Look at what just happened. That was drama.”
“There’s just a lot on my plate right now,” I conclude. “And the safety of the club comes first.”
There’s definitely something between Corey and me. But am I ready for it?
And more importantly, is she?
“I can see that,” she mutters, reaching out and touching my shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, though. You’ll both figure it out.”
She sounds sure.
I’m glad someone is.
And when I still see the car following us, I know that right now is not the fucking time to start a relationship.