Chapter 9
Leah
It was Sunday night. Kade knew tonight was the night I was supposed to make my calls. He was the one who’d just rattled it off from the list of rules and made me sit there and listen. Even convicts were allowed phone calls. He could’ve made it easier and come to me. Nope. He’d make it hard, of course. Well, fuck him. I was using the phone whether he liked it or not.
I walked over to the house, past the office that was dark and empty, and went to the front door.
“Kade!” I yelled as I knocked, peeking through the window.
When there wasn’t an answer, I went from knocking to pounding.
“You’re not ignoring me!” I hit the door hard enough that the glass rattled.
We were probably far enough away from the bunkhouse that no one else heard me yelling, at least not yet. If he didn’t answer the door soon, I’d be screaming so loud the people in the next town over would hear.
I peered inside. The living room was dim but the fire was casting a glow and there was a light coming from farther back near a hallway.
I spun on my heel, checking for his truck, which was parked right where it always was. Then I noticed a small car behind it that hadn’t been as obvious. It was some sort of little white coupe. When I got up on my tiptoes and angled myself, I could see a crystal hanging from the rearview mirror.
I was standing out here, getting colder by the minute, and he was getting laid. That was why I wasn’t making my phone calls.
I was wondering where Missy had put those eggs from today when a flicker of movement drew my attention back inside the house. Kade was walking toward the door, barefoot, and more importantly, shirtless. His jeans were not even buttoned up and there didn’t appear to be anything on underneath them.
Dammit, I hated this man. I’d told myself that he couldn’t possibly look as good as he’d appeared in a t-shirt. Like, no one could look that good unless they worked out every day. I guessed the ranch was workout enough, because he looked even better than I’d feared. I’d seen personal trainers with more fat on them. When was the last time this man had seen a plate of pasta? Or even a single noodle?
I was staring so hard at his body that it took me a second to notice he was glaring at me as he approached.
Oh, he’d better not be looking for a fight. The way I was feeling right now, it would be like starting shit with a grizzly having a bad day.
He swung the door open. “What the fuck are you doing banging on my door on a Sunday night? I told you not to come here.”
My cheeks were burning at the reminder I was too lowly to go to the house. The added reminder of my lowly situation only increased the rage.
“It’s my call day. I’m supposed to get a half an hour. If you didn’t want me to come here, you should’ve come to me instead of whatever else you were busy doing.”
I could see the minute it hit him. He’d completely forgotten. It was probably easy to forget when you could make a call anytime you wanted. I was stuck with once a week. Thirty minutes every Sunday to reach out to the people I loved. That was it. That was all I got. Not so easy to slip the mind in my case.
“Yeah, okay.” He dragged a hand through his hair, setting off rippling muscles everywhere. “I’ll meet you at the office door.”
No apology. No mea culpa. Just meet me at the office , which I could see the door to from where I stood with freezing wind blowing through my hair. He wouldn’t let me set foot in the house, even now, after his mistake.
“Kade?” A sexy little brunette, wearing only Kade’s t-shirt, was walking across the room toward him.
“Everything is okay, Melissa. Go back to bed. I’ll be there soon.”
She continued toward him anyway, scanning every inch of me with a calculation that seemed to take in that extra piece of toast I’d had this morning and the brand of my hair conditioner. Considering it was whatever I found in the bunkhouse bathroom, it wasn’t working out so well.
She leaned into his side, her hand landing on one beefy bicep as her big doe eyes continued to track me. She got up on her tiptoes, pressing her breast against him as she pretended to whisper, “Is this the convict?”
Well, didn’t that say it all? Must be pretty interesting pillow talk now that I was around.
“Yes,” I said, holding her stare. “I’d make sure to lock your door tonight. Never know what urges might come over me.” I did a little shudder.
She stepped back, shifting behind Kade as if she needed his protection. I wasn’t sure why, but that one little movement made me want to grab her by the hair and drag her out of the house.
“ Leah, ” Kade said.
Melissa smirked at me from behind where she clung to Kade’s arm.
“I’m sorry. Just trying to live up to your expectations,” I said with a big, fat, phony smile.
Kade rolled his eyes. “Go to the office.” He shut the door on me before I could scare his girlfriend any more. After all, wouldn’t want poor little Melissa rattled.
I took a step toward the office, but not before Melissa’s voice carried through the door.
“Wow, she looked a little rough,” she said. “You were so nice to take her in, but I don’t know if you should’ve.”
“I’ll be back in a few,” Kade replied, not responding to her comment.
Rough ? See how she looked after going a week with no hair products and mucking out stalls. My nails had been perfect too, once upon a time.
I walked to the office door and waited. This wasn’t anything more than I’d expected and one of the reasons prison would’ve been better. At least I wouldn’t have little twits judging me for frizz and chipped polish. It wasn’t as if I could go buy anything to fix my nails. I couldn’t leave the ranch.
The wind was howling like a wounded wolf right now, and I leaned my shoulder against the doorframe, trying to avoid the worst of it. Whatever Kade was doing, he was taking his sweet-ass time. I didn’t pound and rush him this time. I took the extra minutes to steel my spine against the recent blows.
He finally opened the door, having stopped to put on a t-shirt before letting me in out of the cold.
“What took so long? Had to calm your precious girlfriend over having a criminal in your house?”
“My private life is none of your concern,” he said, watching me as I walked in.
He was staring at my arms, and I uncrossed them, refusing to show him any signs of weakness, even if it was from the cold. As far as he was concerned, nothing bothered me, ever.
“If you’re going to get cold so easy, you should dress warmer,” he said, giving me a once-over. “Don’t you own a decent coat?”
“My clothing is none of your concern,” I said, throwing his words back at him.
He didn’t respond, just shook his head and pointed to the chair behind the desk, where the phone was.
I settled in as he fiddled with the thermostat by the door. I wasn’t delusional enough to think he was increasing the heat for me. He only had a t-shirt on and was probably cold himself.
He walked over to perch on the corner of a filing cabinet. “The speaker button is on the bottom.”
I’d been mid-dial, but that completely stalled out my brain. “What do you mean, speaker?”
“I’m supposed to monitor your phone calls. It was in the contract you signed. What do you think that means?”
It took me a few seconds to register what he was saying. “Isn’t hearing what I say enough?”
“No. I signed off that I would monitor your phone calls. I can’t do that with a one-sided conversation. It’s in the papers. I can pull them out, but it’s coming off your time. I’m not wasting all night on this.” He shrugged, as if he had no control.
“ You’re going to listen to my calls?” I made sure to glare, just in case he didn’t hear the disgust dripping from every syllable.
“Do you really think I want to sit here and listen to whatever you have to say to Sally Mae and Susie Q about their hair or who blew who?” He pointed to the clock on the wall. “You’ve already wasted five minutes of your thirty, so I’d get dialing if I were you.”
Every time I saw him, I wasn’t sure how I’d make it a year. Another week seemed unsurmountable.
“What about the five minutes I waited for you to crawl out of bed with the little whore you’re fucking?”
I hadn’t had a conversation this mean with anyone since…maybe ever . It was like I couldn’t be around him without my head exploding and the blood in my veins wanting to shoot out of my eyes. I was probably growing fangs and claws right now. As far as mistakes went, coming here was going to be top of my list.
Him? He was sitting calmly and looking at the clock. “Fine. I’ll give you that. I’ll reset your time to thirty, but start dialing, because I’m not giving a minute more.” He tilted his head, motioning to the phone.
He might be acting calm, but I could see that vein in his neck starting to bulge. Did I waste another three minutes telling him what a bastard he was, or make my calls? He’d probably enjoy the fact that I was nearly frothing at the mouth. It was likely the only time his black, shriveled-up heart ever pumped with life.
Screw it. I couldn’t waste any more time on him.
I dialed Cassie, my best friend—and also my only friend left. The one thing the bottom taught you was who was willing to visit the depths of hell to stay by your side. Turned out all my other friends would rather go visit the islands.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Hey, Cass, it’s?—”
“Holy shit, I’ve been answering every damn spam call waiting for you.”
“I called as soon as I could. Just so you know?—”
“How’s the dickhead being?”
This was Cass. I either had to be aggressive in my warnings or this was going to happen. Kade was a dickhead, but I’d rather he didn’t know we’d discussed him at all.
“The dickhead is just fine,” he said.
There was a long stretch of silence before Cass said, “You’re supposed to tell people when they’re on speaker to avoid unfortunate situations such as these.”
“I tried, but you kept talking.” I would’ve felt worse about the awkward situation if I thought she really cared. I knew her better than that.
“Because my best friend, who I used to talk to every day, is basically in prison and I still can’t figure out why.”
No. Not this conversation now. Not in front of Kade. He might be grumpier than he used to be, but he still didn’t miss a trick. That kind of thing didn’t go away just because he’d turned into an asshole.
“I told you what happened. By the way, it’s not even close to how I’d imagine prison. It’s not that bad here. It’s sort of calm, to be honest.” If I had to compliment the place to get her off this line of questioning, I would. The strange part of it was how the truth of those words seemed to fit.
“You know what I remembered the other day? I think we were on the phone when you got that painting. I remembered?—”
“Cass, I don’t have that much time to?—”
“You told me about some ugly painting at your apartment someone shipped to you by mistake, and you had to hang up and go make some calls. You stuck it right back in its crate, saying you couldn’t bear to look at it because it depressed you.”
Of all the things she had to dredge up, now, on speakerphone, with him here.
“That was a different painting.”
“But that happened the day you got home. How many paintings did you get shipped?”
I tried not to look at Kade, but he was definitely looking at me. He was like a bloodhound when he caught a scent, had always been that way, and I was hoping he was so convinced that I was some sort of thief that he wouldn’t believe anything she said. But I had to get this conversation shifted before he picked up the scent. From the feel of his burning attention on me, I wasn’t sure it was possible to throw him off.
“Look, it’s done. I screwed up. Now how’s the wedding planning going?” Kade was still staring at me with an intensity that made me squirm in the seat.
“How’s it going? Horrible. Everything is horrible. I’m getting married in less than a month and I lost my maid of honor! How could my planning be anything but a disaster?”
She talked about each detail going wrong. She continued for so long that I could only hope she’d bored Kade into a coma, erasing any of the previous details I’d prefer to bury.
I had to cut her off after a few more minutes to squeeze in the rest of my calls.
I called Monroe next, which was short and sweet, because all he cared about was that I had enough time to call our mother.
I dialed her next and quickly launched into a disclosure before she could humiliate me more, if that were possible. “Mom, Kade is in the room listening. It’s part of the contract that he monitors my phone calls.”
“Oh, Kade is there? Hello? Kade? Can you hear me?” She sounded like a groupie. When had he reached star level? Did she not realize that even though he was technically doing Monroe a favor for some unknown reason, he was my mortal enemy? Or had I forgotten to mention that to her?
I might not have told her that, now that I thought of it. It would’ve led to questions I hadn’t wanted to answer.
“I’m here, Mrs. Loode. How are you?” Gone was his impatient tone, replaced by some fake pleasantry.
“I’m well. It’s so wonderful to hear your voice. We haven’t spoken in so long. I can’t thank you enough for taking care of our little Leah. I know she did wrong. It’s so generous that you stepped up in spite of what she did and welcomed her into your home.”
“Of course, Mrs. Loode. It’s not a problem.”
Not a problem ? That wasn’t the song and dance I got. Nice act. Next he’d be marching out the dancing penguins.
I let her gush another five minutes before I decided that Kade didn’t need his ego inflated any more and I couldn’t handle another second of hearing how he’d saved her daughter.
“Mom, I’ve got go. I have more calls I have to squeeze in, and I only get thirty minutes.”
“Oh, but?—”
“I can’t debate this with you. I have to go. I’ll try to call you next week.” I hung up, immediately hating how sharp my tone had gotten.
It wasn’t her fault I was here. I knew that. She didn’t even know the truth, and yet I couldn’t stop the rage from boiling up and spilling out onto her.
But the thing I couldn’t quite get past was her bringing that man into our lives. If she hadn’t, if she had been just a little more aware of things and not so blind…
It didn’t matter. It was done and I’d get through this year.
“You done?” Kade asked, glaring at me like he hadn’t in at least the past day. So what if he judged me a little more? Whatever.
“No. I have to make one last call.”
“Then make it,” he said, clearly looking to wrap this up.
If I’d had a modicum of privacy, this would’ve been the first call I made. But I hadn’t, and now I was dreading it.
I dialed Greg’s number. I’d told him I was going to call Sunday, that it was the only day I could call, but he wasn’t answering.
I’d told him he wouldn’t recognize the number. He should be answering all his calls today.
Kade raised an eyebrow. I hit end as soon as voicemail hit.
I redialed. Greg had probably just been in the bathroom or had his hands full.
It rang until the machine came on again, and I hung up. Maybe he’d had an emergency he needed to handle.
“I’m done.”
“Not calling your boyfriend, or was that who didn’t answer?”
“I’m done. That’s all you need to know.”
What I knew better than anything was that this next year was going to be a constant lesson in humiliation and helplessness.