Chapter 42
Leah
I stared out the window at the city I used to love. There was a time that I’d sit in the chair by the floor-to-ceiling windows and stare out at the skyline for hours. Now I looked out and all I wanted to see was the sun rising over the mountains, or the sound of the roosters calling everyone to work instead of an alarm. I wanted to sit on the porch with the fresh air blowing through my hair instead of the HVAC kicking on.
I wanted to sit on that damned porch swing, rocking gently. Wrapped in a blanket with a hot cup of coffee in my hands, I’d watch the sun rise over the mountains.
There were other parts of that morning that I missed more than anything, but I had to stop thinking of him . Nothing good came from that.
When I got home, I’d spent every waking minute rebuilding my career, and it was working. My clients were slowly coming back. I was regaining people’s confidence now that my name had been cleared. I could’ve even had my friends back if I’d wanted, but I hadn’t.
I should’ve been happy. Things were getting back on track. But all I did was think of him, what seemed like every single minute.
The buzzer rang, signaling Monroe’s arrival. He walked in the apartment a few minutes later.
“Coffee’s still hot,” I said, motioning toward the kitchen.
His eyes lit up and he headed to get a cup. “Man, I missed this brew. Where do you get it from?” He dropped onto my couch.
“Coffee shop around the corner sells a special blend.” I’d thought I’d miss it, too. Now all I thought about was how good the brew Kade had in Montana was.
Monroe watched me intently. “Is it weird to be back after everything that happened?”
“Yeah, I guess it is. I thought I’d get some satisfaction out of walking back here with my name cleared. The reality fell a little short.” Everything seemed to be falling short. I felt like I’d been living in 4K and had just been thrown back to silent movies.
“It’s been a month and you still seem off, like you don’t want to be here,” he said, watching me in that way he did lately, as if he weren’t sure who I was anymore.
“It’s just jarring to be back. I’ll settle in.” There was no way I’d sit around and pine for that man for another month. “By the way, did you bring me those new mortgage documents? I’m still waiting on them. I don’t know how you keep forgetting.”
He looked at his coffee as he said, “I have to tell you something about that.”
Usually when he wanted to tell me something, he just blurted it out.
“How bad is the interest rate?” I asked. I’d suspected it was horrendous but didn’t even care about that. Maybe I’d just sell the place, go somewhere else and start anew.
“It’s zero,” he said.
“Zero? How can it be zero?” I asked, turning around to look at him.
“Okay, this is where I’m going to have to talk about a subject you said I can’t.”
“I told you I don’t want to?—”
“I know,” he said. “You don’t want to talk about Kade, but you have to know this. It’s just too important not to tell you.”
Even the thought of Kade made my heart rate jump, my stomach feel like it was bottoming out, and my eyes burn. How was it he could still do this to me? Damn him.
“Fine. What’s so important? Say it. Get it out, but it better really be important, because I hate that man and I don’t want to talk about him.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but you’re just too miserable and I have to tell you. That witness who came forth? Kade paid him off, and from what I’ve heard, to the tune of several million.”
“Who would tell you something so stupid? That’s bull, ’cause Kade wouldn’t have millions to throw around like that. I mean, the ranch is doing well, but I think he throws every dime back into it.” To grow as fast as he had, he must’ve. Plus he’d kept buying more horses, cattle, and land while I’d been there.
“Alec told me. We’ve been talking.” Monroe sipped, watching me like he was getting ready to run out the door if I made a wrong move.
“You’ve been talking to Alec?” I was too stunned to punch him.
“Yes. Apparently Kade is as miserable as you, and we made a decision to screw all the confidences for both of your best interests. Kade paid for that witness to come clean. He got into Bitcoin on the ground floor and rolled some of that into other tech stocks. Guy has brilliant instincts and a brother who’s an insider.”
I leaned forward, gaping. “Kade paid to clear my name?”
“ Yes .” Monroe stared at me, brows high, like he was wondering how many times he’d have to say it.
“There’s no way this is true.” It couldn’t be. Why would Kade do that?
“Leah, I know it’s true because he paid off this apartment too when they called your loan.”
He looked too scared to be lying.
“You said Tiffany’s cousin?—”
“I know what I said. He made me lie. He was convinced you wouldn’t accept his help or you’d feel weird.”
I walked to the other end of my white sectional and dropped down onto it. “Why? Why would he do that?”
“Same reason he called me to work out a deal so you wouldn’t go to prison. Same reason he called in a favor with the judge so that he’d sign off on it. Same reason he’s done everything he has. The man is in love with you.”
“You’re saying my judge in NY owed him a favor? That’s how this weird deal came to be?”
“Yes.” Monroe put his coffee down and sat back on the couch. “You have no idea how good it feels to unload all of these secrets. They were killing me.” His arms flopped to the side as if he’d just run a marathon.
“You’re telling me Kade is the reason I didn’t go to prison and you didn’t tell me ?” By the end of my question my voice had gone up a couple of octaves.
He tilted his head back to me, looking a little less relaxed. “Yes. Don’t hit me. He swore me to secrecy. He never wanted you to feel indebted to him.”
“But he was miserable when I got there. None of this makes sense.” I fell back on the couch too, baffled, stunned, my head spinning faster than a hummingbird flapped.
“I don’t know why he acted the way he did. You two are both a little crazy. I do know that man loves you. Still loves you, if Alec is correct.”
“But he didn’t fight for me?” Why did he just let me walk out if he cared so much?
“He didn’t try to buy your love, but from where I’m sitting, he’s been fighting for you this whole time. He fought to keep you out of prison, fought to save your home, and fought to clear your name. That’s a whole lot of fighting. I don’t know, but as far as I can see, he loves you. So the only question is, do you love him?”
“I do. I tried to be angry at him, but I can’t seem to be.”
“Then what the fuck are you doing? Go get your man and stop moping around this place.”
* * *
Kade
When Leah moved into the main house from the shed, and I’d seen her on my swing that first morning, a ripple of annoyance had shot through me. This was my place of solitude to regroup every morning before the day started. But somehow I’d come to like seeing her there, and way too fast. She’d smell like strawberries and she’d tuck her little feet up underneath her, staring at the same sunrise, the corner of her lips always rising as the sun glimmered over the mountains and light the sky. She’d become part of the morning routine, the best part. What had felt complete before now felt empty.
Now I didn’t even want to get out of bed because she wouldn’t be there.
But I had to. So I did.
It was still a half-hour or so before sunrise when I walked out of my bedroom and the smell of coffee hit me. Chuck must’ve come by early for something. Every now and then if he had to go through something in the office, he’d put on a pot. I poured a cup and then walked toward the porch. It was freezing, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from hoping that one of these mornings, Leah would somehow be there.
When I did see her, for a second I thought I was imagining things. But there she was. I blinked a few times, assuring myself she was real.
“You’re here? Why are you here?”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No. Most definitely not,” I said, ready to tackle her if she took my words wrong and tried to leave.
“We have some things we need to settle, and a phone call didn’t feel right. You lied to me. You told me you didn’t believe in grand gestures.”
“I don’t.” I couldn’t stop staring at her. Somehow she looked even more beautiful now, and I hadn’t thought that was possible.
“Then what have you been doing? You saved me from prison, called in favors to get me here. You cleared my name and even saved my home. For someone who doesn’t believe in grand gestures, you haven’t stopped making them. Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
“I never wanted you to feel that you owed me anything.”
“But I owe you everything . You didn’t think that I deserved to know what you did for me? That it might make a difference?”
“I wanted you to want me , not because I did that.” I shook my head. If she’d come here to repay some debt, none of this mattered. I didn’t want her like that. I wanted her heart, nothing more, nothing less.
“Kade Hawk, you are as blind as your brother says you are. Don’t you know? I wanted you the day I walked onto this ranch. I have wanted you since I was that fourteen-year-old kid you teased. I watched you like you were a god. Sometimes I wonder if I wanted you since the first moment I saw you, because I don’t remember a day in my life that I didn’t want you. I don’t think I could ever stop wanting you. I’ve loved you since before I knew what love was.”
“Even after everything? The way I handled things? I was horrible. You shouldn’t even want to speak to me. I should’ve known you were innocent.”
“And I should’ve known you weren’t an evil bastard,” she said, a smile touching her lips.
“That’s not your fault. I do a really good impression of one.”
She stood there staring at me, and it was taking everything I had not to walk over, grab her, drag her into the house, and lock the doors so she could never leave.
Instead I said, “Do you want to come in?” I hooked a thumb toward the door. If she walked in, she was mine. I wasn’t letting her leave. Not again. The first time had nearly killed me. Now that I knew, no way would I let her go again.
She took a step toward me. Against my better instincts, I held up a hand.
She flinched, as if she were expecting some kind of rejection, and it was like someone had taken a stake to my heart.
“I thought you wanted me to come in?” Her voice was soft.
“I do. More than you know. That’s the problem.” I stepped closer as I fought the urge to grab her off her feet. “You come in, I’m not sure I’ll let you leave.”
She took another step forward, sealing her fate as she closed the distance between us. My body tensed as I watched her. We were only a couple feet away from each other and it took everything I had to not wrap my arms around her and drag her the rest of the way inside.
She stood before me, her hair cascading over her shoulders, her cheeks tinged with pink from the chill while her eyes sparkled with emotion. I’d forgo every sunrise for the rest of my life if I could look at her every day.
“What if I don’t want to leave?” she said.
Those words broke the last chains holding me back. I closed the distance between us in one step and lifted her, her feet dangling as I hugged her to me.
She wrapped her arms around me, burying her head in the crook of my neck.
“I love you,” I said. “I love you more than I imagined was ever possible, more than this ranch, and if you ever leave me again, I don’t think I’ll survive.”
“I’m not going to. I promise.”