Chapter 40
Noah
He approached Aya’s house with a heart full of confidence.
Perhaps he didn’t deserve it, but he had never before felt so sure about her affection.
After all, people who didn’t like you didn’t show the level of passion she had.
Heck, there had been women who were genuinely interested in him over the years, but because he never let things progress too far, they had never been allowed to prove it.
Noah had truly thought he knew everything there was to know.
After all, even if he didn’t have direct experience, he wasn’t an obedient-enough Catholic to stop himself from thinking about it.
It had been such a relief when he decided he didn’t have to submit to those teachings anymore, which had not so coincidentally happened around the time one of his friends came out, years before Nobu.
At the time, Noah insisted that if Drew wasn’t going to theology classes anymore, he wouldn’t go either, and his parents acquiesced fairly easily.
Also, the basics were pretty clear to Noah too.
After all, he didn’t exactly live under a rock.
And he’d been happy, over the years, to join in the laugher when jokes like “Calculus is the missionary position of math” were bandied around.
As long as you laughed just enough, nobody would ever guess you were lying.
But it turned out that “virgin” had been the perfect word to describe him. Because he could never have imagined the intense combination of lust, longing, and trust that had made his night—and morning—with Aya so explosive. It had been much better than he would have imagined.
Noah had parked a block down from the house.
He’d borrowed his mom’s car, but he still didn’t want any rumors to start.
As he came closer, he saw that Emi was on the porch, rocking on the porch swing.
She was talking on the phone, frowning. He raised a hand in greeting, and she gave a fleeting smile.
“I know,” she said quietly. “But because of the baby, I’m just saying that may have to change.”
Noah drew a breath. How strange that Emi was going to have a baby.
He could still hardly believe Hana was his niece.
It made him feel young somehow—irresponsible.
Sure, he had a house in LA that would be considered a mansion by Love Hollow standards—though not by LA standards, of course.
He had his own car, though it was back in the garage, and more kitchen gadgets than he could ever figure out how to use.
But he also had no degree, no family members out in California with him, and no paycheck.
Of course, now he had a girlfriend—or something. Hoping to give Emi a little privacy for her phone conversation, he knocked on the door.
Aya answered, but it took her a moment. And when she showed him in, her smile was cautious.
“Hi,” she said, closing the door behind her.
He drew her in, and once he started kissing her, he felt the chaos of the morning evaporating. He turned her around, and soon, he was pressing her against the door, touching every part of her body.
A knock sounded at the door, and they startled as they broke apart.
“Sorry,” said Emi, grinning a bit as she came in. She had put her phone away. “Just needed to pee for, you know, like the millionth time today.”
“Is something wrong?” asked Aya.
“Relax, Mom,” said Emi. “It’s normal at this stage. It just means I’m sufficiently hydrated. Also, we need to go get some more snacks later. Your mom is way too health conscious. I’ve picked this place clean.”
“Okay,” said Aya. She was pink, not looking at Noah. “Um, Noah, do you want some tea?”
“Sure.”
Though Emi didn’t emerge again after going upstairs, her presence changed things.
As much as Noah wanted to keep kissing Aya, he did have some decorum.
After all, it wasn’t even Aya’s house. It was the place where Noah was always expected to be on his best behavior, and he still felt that he might be scolded if he so much as rumpled a seat cushion.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
Aya was filling the kettle. “Fine,” she said. “And you?”
“Not bad,” he managed. “It’s a little cramped at my parents’.”
“That’s right,” she said, pursing her lips. “You have a lot more space in California, I’m sure.”
“Yes,” he said, smiling. “A little too much. Or a lot too much, really. I end up just rattling around in those rooms.”
She nodded briskly. “Well, count your blessings. I’m probably going to have to find a roommate when I go back to Chicago. No rattling around there, not on a graduate stipend.”
“What about the museum?” he asked—too quickly, he realized, so he tried to change the question. “Would you ever consider moving away from Chicago?”
“Both of my jobs require me to basically live on-site, so unless I win the lottery, I very much doubt it,” she said curtly. “I have to live near one of them. We don’t have anything to eat with this tea. Emi ate all the snacks.”
“I guess she needs them,” he said. “Or the baby does.”
Finally, Aya smiled. “Yes, the baby is already making demands. Which is good, because Charles seems to have plenty of his own demands.”
“I haven’t met him,” said Noah.
Aya shook her head. “Neither have I. He’s coming out here soon, though. Emi didn’t want to cut her visit short just because of the news.”
Noah swallowed. “So,” he said. “I talked to Grace.”
Aya came closer. “Okay. Tell me now, I guess. Let’s get it over with.”
She had so much anguish in her face that Noah just wanted to hold her. But he snuck a look at the empty rooms around them. What if another Hanson family member bursts in on us?
“Can we go up to your room?” he murmured, taking her hand.
Aya took her hand away. “Did you hear what I was telling you?” she said. “It is. Not. A good time.”
He recoiled. Because he’d never let himself get close to anyone, he’d also not experienced a lot of rejection.
And it stung bitterly. He found himself wanting to head over to the mirror in the hall to see if he looked okay.
Should I have shaved? Is that it? Do I look bad?
Of course, it didn’t really matter how he looked.
He would never be as attractive as Aya. Maybe he was just a typical idiot, trying to use his money and status to date someone well out of his league.
Maybe that was why old, ugly guys in show business ended up with young models.
They knew they would never be able to compete with successful women their own age, but at least with women who were young and semi-anonymous, there might be some semblance of parity.
Of course, things didn’t usually go well for those guys either.
Emi chose that moment to come back down. “Aya, did you still want help with the programs? Because I think I figured out a couple of ways to get them to look better in black and white.”
“Why not sepia?” asked Noah. He remembered the thick programs for Pilgrimages in years past, particularly because he was often bored during the ceremony as a kid. It was fascinating to look at the glossy portraits and the lists of names.
“Can’t afford it,” said Aya shortly. “Sure, Emi. Let’s head out.”
Noah followed them, wondering if they would invite him.
Eventually, as they were getting in the car, Emi remembered. “I’m sorry, Noah. Do you want to come with us?”
He looked at Aya, but she was staring straight ahead.
“Um, n-no, that’s fine,” he said quickly. “See you later.”