Chapter Nine
CHAPTER NINE
W e kissed for a long time. Seconds turned into long minutes of reckless abandon, during which Dan peeled me out of my baseball jersey, then my T-shirt, leaving me in only my bra and jeans. He trailed kisses along my collarbone and chest. His beard tickled the sensitive skin of my breast exposed by my bra, making my arms erupt in goose pimples.
“All right, Emma?” Dan whispered in my ear. His nose dragged along the shell until he sucked my earlobe into his mouth and grazed it with his teeth.
“Yes.” I sighed. “But—”
Dan froze, pulled slightly away from me, and his eyes met mine.
“—would you mind if we went upstairs?”
He visibly relaxed and the lower half of his face spread into a grin.
“Your place or mine?” he asked.
“Mine is closer.”
“Good point.” He grinned before pulling his jersey off and wrapping it around my shoulders before leading me upstairs.
A giant squeal erupted from my lips when he scooped me into his arms and tossed me onto my mattress. He covered my body with his before I could bounce a second time.
“Are you sure you’re ready, Emma?” he asked as he pulled his jersey away from my body and cupped his hands around my breasts, giving them a gentle caress.
“Yes.” I ran my fingertips through his beard.
“I mean, are you ready for this?” He sat up and wagged a finger between our bodies. “Us. Should we talk about it?”
“Dan, my life is kind of a mess right now, and I don’t have the bandwidth to wrap my head around even trying to think about the future or a relationship.”
He replied with a nod as I continued to caress his face.
“For the first time in my life, I’m taking things one day at a time and living in the moment. And in this moment, I’m exactly where I want to be and with the exact person I want to be with.”
His smile widened and he leaned forward, covering my body with his again.
“So to answer your question, yes. I am fine.”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
“But”—I quirked an eyebrow—“I’d be even better if you took my pants off.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said in a cross between a whisper and a growl as he began to trail kisses down my chest and torso.
I pulled myself onto my elbows to watch his descent between my legs. He hooked a finger under the button of my jeans before tugging them over my hips and dragging the fabric over my thighs, then down my legs.
“Fuck, Emma.” He pressed his nose into the crotch of my panties, grazing his nose over my clit, causing me to moan.
“Dan,” I moaned and tangled my fingers in his shiny dark hair. I gripped his curls while I circled my hips, pressing myself into his face. My body desperately sought the pressure and friction that I’d been denied for months, or maybe longer.
My noises of pleasure increased as he continued his exploration of my body. His fingers gently trailed the skin above the elastic waistband of my panties. He planted featherlight kisses and licks on my inner thighs. The sensations were overwhelming, and I couldn’t remember if I’d ever been touched like this. This didn’t feel like lovemaking; it felt like worship. Every nerve ending in my body was alive and buzzing. I was close to an explosion and Dan hadn’t even removed my panties.
“Oh my God,” I moaned. “Please.”
“I love it when you beg, Emma,” he said in a husky voice. “Lay back, beautiful.” He reached for my hands and slid them forward, releasing my elbows and causing me to recline fully on my bed. “I’m gonna take my time with you.” His fingertips brushed my inner thigh, causing me to spasm beneath him. “How fond are you of these knickers?”
“What?”
“Your underwear, Emma.”
I had to consider his question because coherent thought wasn’t my strong suit at the moment.
“They’re not my favorite,” I stammered. “They’re okay, I guess.”
“Good.” He grunted and I was greeted with a cool rush of air when Dan ripped the seam of my panties and pulled them off.
A gasp of surprise escaped my chest, which was cut short by Dan pressing my thighs open and swiping his tongue over my clit. I’d never experienced anything like what this man was doing between my legs. I also didn’t know ripping panties off was a thing that happened outside of movies or books. There would probably be welts on my hips in the morning, but at least these marks didn’t come from being kicked by an animal or slipping on lord-knows-what in the barn.
My moans gave way to grunts as Dan continued to devour me like a starving man. He slid two fingers into my cunt and began to massage me from the inside while his tongue did unimaginable, amazing things on the outside.
“I’m coming,” I panted, almost in disbelief. The orgasm that Dan had slowly been building, brick by brick, from the moment he’d laid me on the bed reached its crescendo in high-pitched squeals and paroxysms of ecstasy that left me clutching helplessly at the sheets with my heels digging into his back. Then something unexpected happened, something that’d never happened before.
“Brilliant, Emma.” Dan wiped the back of his hand over his lips after he collapsed on the mattress next to me. His chest was heaving, and he was wearing a huge grin when he turned to face me. “How do you feel?”
“I’m not even sure how to answer that.” A breathless laugh shook my body, making all the muscles between my thighs clench. “Did I, um…”
“Yes, you did.” He dragged a fingertip between my breasts and down my belly, making me giggle again. “More than once.”
“I have never done that before.” I turned my body to face his and tucked my bottom lip between my teeth.
“Really?” He gave me a skeptical look. “Your ex has never made you come?”
“He has—I mean, it definitely didn’t happen every time, but there’s never been… physical evidence.”
“Hmm.” Dan rolled over on his back and laced his fingers behind his head, wearing a satisfied smirk.
“You seem awfully proud of yourself.” I slapped him on the chest and rolled over onto my belly.
“I am,” he said and pressed a kiss to my shoulder before dragging his fingertips up and down my spine. I laughed and hit him in the chest again. “Why am I the only one naked?”
“That’s an easy fix, love.” Dan sat up and pulled his undershirt over his head. The years of farmwork were etched into every sinew and muscle of Dan’s chest and arms as I watched the cotton fabric of his shirt slide over his abs and pecs. I was desperate to run my fingers over the dark hair dusting the center of his chest. In the next few moments, he’d kicked out of his pants and boxers before pulling me into his arms and pressing our lips together. He rolled me onto my back and slid his knee between my thighs, separating them, while never breaking the seal of our lips.
“What is that?” I said with a smirk, referring to the rod of velvety steel Dan had nestled between my thighs.
“Definitely not a steel door this time.” He grinned and kissed me again. “Please tell me you want this, Emma, because I really, really want this.”
“I can tell,” I whispered and kissed him again. “I do. I want this.” I planted a kiss on his lips. “I really”—kiss—“really”—another kiss—“really want this.”
“Good.” His face split into a giant grin and he leaned down to kiss me.
“Do you have protection?” I asked.
“Shit.” Dan pushed himself off me like he’d been electrocuted. “I haven’t so much as thought about being with another woman in over two years, so I don’t. Do you?”
“No.” I sighed.
“Shit.” Dan sat up. “So we should probably stop.”
“Yeah.” I tucked my lower lip between my teeth and pulled the sheet up to cover myself. “Sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He covered himself with the sheet and pulled me into his arms again. He pressed his lips onto my shoulder before relaxing into the pillow.
“Do you want to spend the night?”
“Depends.” He dragged his fingertips up and down my arm. “Do you snore?”
“No, I don’t snore.” I laughed and snaked my arm around his waist. “I might drool on you, though.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m leaving.” He made no move to leave the bed.
“Were you always this goofy?”
“Goofy?” he asked with a scandalized tone. “If you’re asking if I’ve always been as hilarious as I am handsome, then the answer is yes.”
“You seem so different than when I first met you.”
“I could say the same about you, Ms. Walters.” He brushed my cheek with the back of his fingertips. “You’d be surprised at the things you find out about people when you let them in.”
“Well.” I sighed. “I’m not really the letting-people-in type.”
“What?” Dan scoffed. “You? I don’t believe it.”
“Ha ha,” I deadpanned. “Did I thank you for my jersey?”
“You did. But you can thank me again.”
“It was really thoughtful.”
“Since the moment I laid eyes on you, you’ve had a way of occupying most of my thoughts.” Dan let out a yawn and held me closer.
His offhand declaration tugged at my heart. For years—hell, for as long as I could remember—I was the one constantly worrying about the needs of everyone around me. Whether I was walking on eggshells around my parents as a child, keeping Teddy’s life running like a well-oiled machine, or keeping my high-profile clients off the front page of gossip magazines, I was the one constantly focused on everyone else. No one was ever focused on me, until Dan. My eyes started to prickle, and I was suddenly at a loss for words.
“Emma?” Dan called to me in an adorable, sleepy voice.
“Did I ever thank you for taking care of me that first night?” I wanted to change the subject, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
“Well”—Dan let out a heavy sigh—“not in words, but I didn’t do it for the recognition.” He kissed my shoulder again. “George and Harriet would never let me rest if I let you drive home in that car.” He smiled at me.
“Do you miss them?”
He answered me with a small moan of assent. “Every day,” he added with a sigh. “For the first couple of weeks after they didn’t return, I expected them to walk through the front door at any minute with a wild story about being lost at sea. They weren’t strangers to adventure, but when the resort returned their belongings,” he said, hugging me tighter, “it felt real. I’d been avoiding contemplating life on the farm without them, then you showed up and I didn’t have a choice.”
“Is that why you didn’t eat with me in the kitchen the night of the will reading?”
“That, and it was a stressful and confusing night.”
“Why?” I asked, then quickly added, “Aside from the obvious.”
“Because I’d met the most beautiful and infuriating woman in the world.” He tickled me. “And discovered that she held my fate in her hands.”
Dan’s words gave me pause. Cuddling naked in bed with a beautiful man who made you laugh and also made you come so hard that you saw stars was enough to make anyone forget their problems. That orgasm was enough to make me forget the definition of the word problems , but Dan was right. I did hold his fate in my hands, and the fate of so many others. I had also left behind an entire life in Atlanta. Yes, it was in shambles, but it was still mine. I couldn’t expect to hide out on this farm forever and pretend that it didn’t exist.
“I think I need to go back to Atlanta,” I said and turned my body to face Dan.
His heart raced under my palm that was resting on his chest, and he turned to face me. He was tired a moment ago, but now he was fully alert.
“Not permanently.”
He seemed to relax slightly, and my belly did a little flip at his initial reaction.
“You were right about what you said at dinner. I did run away from my life.”
Dan opened his mouth to protest, and I pressed a finger to his lips.
“I definitely needed a break, and coming to the farm was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, but…” I let out a sigh. “I still have a life there: parents, friends—”
“Teddy?” he interrupted.
“In a way, yes. Our relationship is over, but we have over a decade of a life together to untangle.”
“Are you coming back?”
“Are you asking because you’re going to miss me?”
“I’m not asking for me.” He let out a sigh. “I just want to know what I should tell King Richard when he realizes you’ve gone.”
I laughed and snuggled into Dan’s arms, closing my eyes. The last thing I remember was him pressing a kiss to my head and whispering, “Good night, Emma.”
Waking up in Dan’s arms quelled the constant feeling of impending doom that had plagued me every morning I opened my eyes and realized that I was still on the farm. The feeling had lessened slightly every day I’d spent here, but today it was completely gone. I didn’t even mind King Richard’s raucous greeting because, by the time his morning yelling routine began, I was already awake, tucked into the crook of Dan’s arm and watching him sleep.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered to me after peeling one eye open. “What time is it?”
“King Richard o’clock,” I whispered in return.
“That late, huh?” He yawned.
“Late?” I chuckled incredulously.
“Yes, I’m usually up and working by now.”
“So why aren’t you?”
“I thought that would be obvious.” He pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “And honestly, I think we both deserve a lie-in after the last few weeks we’ve had.”
“Good point,” I conceded. “But I do think that we should brush our teeth.”
“Well, I’m glad you said something because…” He trailed off, making his expression the perfect imitation of the yikes emoji.
I gasped and pulled the pillow from under my head and smacked him in the chest with it.
“It’s too early in the morning for this level of violence.”
“I haven’t had my coffee yet,” I quipped.
“Well, I’m gonna go shower and I’ll meet you in the kitchen by the coffee maker?” He raised an eyebrow at me before he crawled out of bed. The sheet fell away, exposing Dan’s chiseled back muscles—and the sculpted muscles below his back. The power of speech escaped me again and I could only nod.
“It’s a date.”
“I have to say,” Max said after a sip from her martini, “I am loving this new Emma.” She reached out and grabbed the tip of one of my curls, pulling it straight and watching it spring back into place. “I was skeptical about you living on the farm, but now it makes me consider coming out there for a visit.”
I smiled at her because she was right. Farm life had been good for me. I also had to be careful not to let too many details slip about the true nature of my inheritance.
“It’s definitely a huge change.” I sighed and popped a mini crab cake into my mouth. “But enough about me. Tell me all about Laramie. What’s it been like since I left?” Left was an interesting choice of word, since I’d actually been fired.
“Girl.” Max dropped her head to the side and glared at me. “Nina has been insufferable. She doesn’t mess with me too much because she knows my patience for bullshit is too short and my list of connections too long, but your absence is definitely felt.”
This news made my chest warm and softened the lingering blow of my unceremonious firing. The days since leaving Laramie and living on the farm had made me happier and a lot more relaxed, but I still felt the sting of failure.
“She hired three new reps to replace you and has fired one already.” She slapped me on the knee for emphasis. My jaw dropped. “She’s also out of her office and in the field more than usual, which I’m sure pisses her off. It’s her own fault.” Max shrugged. “She even has the nerve to compare people to you.”
“What?” I gasped.
“Yes, girl.” She began a spot-on imitation of our boss: “‘Emma would never do something like this,’ and ‘Emma would have gotten this done twice as quickly!’”
I snorted laughter.
“It takes every ounce of strength I can muster from the ancestors not to say, ‘Bitch, you fired Emma, so shut the fuck up!’”
I chose the wrong time to try to take a sip of my martini because my laugh caused it to shoot up my nose and burn my nostrils, eliciting loud coughs and snorts.
“Gets on my damn nerves,” she finished with a sigh. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I squealed, still laughing. “That sounds crazy.”
“Well, it is. Everyone is thinking it, but no one will point it out to her. What she needs to do is get over her ego and ask you to come back.”
Max’s words made the smile slide off my face. “I’m not sure if I could go back,” I said in a low voice.
“Why the hell not? You’re amazing at your job and Nina knows it. It’s only a matter of time before she comes crawling back. If I were you, I’d make her beg for it. Definitely a raise—but not a bigger office because I need my work wife back. The new little girls they have running around the office are driving me crazy.”
“No, Max.” I sighed. “I mean, I don’t think being a PR rep is what I want anymore.”
“So you’ll take the bar and practice law?”
“I don’t think so…”
“Wait”—she took a final sip of her martini, slammed the glass on the bar, and signaled for another one before glaring at me—“are you thinking about moving to West Bubblefuck and living on the farm?”
“I haven’t ruled it out.” I shrugged. Max rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, shaking her head. “Max, it is so beautiful and peaceful. The air is clean. The people are friendly.”
“How friendly are these people that my best friend is actually considering leaving civilization to play Old MacDonald?”
“The people are very friendly.” I gave her a sly smile.
“Oh, shit. You have a little country-fried side piece!” She squealed, making heads turn.
“I do not have a side piece,” I said in a hushed whisper. “I don’t know what I have. And Teddy and I are broken up, so having a side piece would be impossible.”
“Well, who is he?” She leaned forward. “Or she?”
“Max, you know it’s a he.” I chuckled.
“Hey, you never know.” She shrugged. “Don’t limit yourself.”
“His name is Dan, and he’s the farm manager. My grandparents put him in charge of the farm and he lives on the property.”
“So you’re living with this friendly man?” Her grin widened.
“No, he has his own apartment.” I was careful not to tell her that his apartment was exactly one floor above the room I slept in every night. “We just see a lot of each other. He’s helping me figure out the farm and this whole situation with my grandparents.”
“And what else is he helping you figure out?”
“We kissed.”
“I know that’s not it.”
“We kissed a lot.”
“And…” She leaned forward and raised an eyebrow.
“He kissed me… everywhere.”
“Everywhere?”
“Everywhere.” I nodded in confirmation.
“And how was it?”
I took a deep breath, leaned in closer, and dropped my voice to a whisper. “Max, I had the most intense orgasm. Ever.”
Her eyes went wide and she let out a loud cackle.
“Yes, girl. I’m happy for you,” she said, still laughing. “Theodore Aloysius the Third could never.”
“Well, he hasn’t,” I confessed. “That has never happened before.”
“That’s because you haven’t been with someone who knows what they’re doing.” She gave me a knowledgeable nod as the server dropped off another round of drinks. “I’m still not sold on you giving up the career you’ve worked so hard to build and living in the middle of nowhere, but maybe you should chill at this farm a little longer. You deserve a break, and it’s doing wonders for your complexion.” She waggled her eyebrows.
“Shut up.” I laughed and shook my head.
“I’m serious. You are glowing.” She picked up her glass and indicated for me to do the same. “Let’s toast to my best friend getting her groove back, then you’re gonna tell me all about Dan and his magic kisses.”
We raised our glasses and clinked them together.
The last time I’d pressed my key fob against the door to this condo, I was also returning from a boozy lunch with Max, though this time I wasn’t nearly as drunk as I was the day my entire world turned upside down.
The apartment was exactly as I’d left it, making me wonder if Teddy had been staying with his parents the entire time I was gone. The remainder of the boxes from my office were still stacked against the wall in the living room. They were filled with things that I thought were essential just a few weeks ago. Now I felt like if I tossed them in the trash without opening them, I wouldn’t even miss them. I drew in a deep breath and tried to focus on the reason I’d come to the condo in the middle of the day in the first place. My large suitcase was still sitting neglected in the back of the closet, collecting dust, reminding me that it had been years since I’d taken a vacation. I’d begun to fill it with clothes when I heard the front door beep, then slam shut.
“Emma!” Teddy’s voice bellowed through the house. There was no way he’d decided to randomly come home in the middle of the day. He must have instructed the concierge to call him when I came back. Was anyone loyal these days? I’d bet Franklin wouldn’t have been so quick to sell me out if he’d known that I was the one responsible for his holiday bonuses every year. “Emma!” his voice called again.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The fact that I wasn’t ready to face him didn’t matter. There was no way I was sneaking out of this condo without hearing whatever Teddy had to tell me.
“I’m in the bedroom,” I called. I said the bedroom, not our bedroom. I hadn’t even thought about it, but this didn’t feel like our bedroom anymore. This didn’t even feel like my house.
“Emma”—he burst into the room and wrapped his arms around me—“where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you.” He released his death grip on me and held me away from his body so he could look me in the eye. “You haven’t tried to call me. Ma says your mailbox has been full for weeks. You’re not replying to emails and texts.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off when his eyes fell on my half-filled suitcase. “What the hell is this?” His hands fell away from my shoulders, and he took a step back. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going back to the farm.” I held his gaze for a moment so he would know that I was serious, before I went back to packing my bag.
“You’re going back to—what?” he spluttered. He yanked away the T-shirts I’d pulled out of my drawer and threw them on the bed. “Emma, you need to talk to me. You can’t just disappear without a trace for weeks and then show back up, pack a bag, and disappear again.”
“Teddy, stop being dramatic.” I rolled my eyes, grabbed the T-shirts, and tucked them into the corner of the suitcase. “I didn’t disappear without a trace. You knew exactly where I was, and you would have known how to get there if you had come with me to the will reading.”
He rolled his eyes and took a step back.
“This again. How many times can I apologize for not going to that will reading with you before you’ll stop throwing it in my face every chance you get?”
“I’m not throwing it in your face.” I definitely was, but I couldn’t help it. I’d long gotten over the fact that Teddy failed to be there when I needed him in a crucial moment. Hell, after the last ten years, I considered it a regular occurrence. It was just another reminder of why I needed to get out of this condo, away from this man, and back to the farm, where my life was slowly starting to make sense. I briefly wondered how differently this last month would have gone if Teddy had come with me to the will reading. I quickly pushed that thought away and slammed my suitcase shut. “I’m simply stating a fact. And I don’t want an apology. I just want to get a few more of my things and get back on the road before it gets too late.” I dragged the suitcase off the bed and wheeled it toward the door. Teddy made no move to help me carry the bag, which didn’t surprise me. Instead, he followed me out into the living room.
“Emma, I’m not gonna let you throw our life away because your feelings are hurt.”
I stopped cold and turned to face him.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re acting like a child. You got fired from your job. So what? Your grandparents died. People lose loved ones all the time, and the world keeps spinning. You barely knew those people, yet here you are acting like a kid running away from home. You need to stop this and come to your senses.”
His use of the phrase “running away from home” immediately made me think of Dan and our conversation during dinner the night before. Dan and I had both run away from home, and ran headlong into something better. I looked around the condo, and finally, my eyes landed on Teddy.
“I’m not throwing our life away.” I paused to choose my next words carefully. “I think… I think I’m saving our lives.”
“What?” He shot me a befuddled glance.
“Our relationship hasn’t been good for a long time. I thought I was taking this time away to clear my head and then maybe, after a while, I’d be ready to come back and pick up the pieces.”
“So then why are you leaving?”
“Because I don’t want this life. I thought I did for so many years, that if I just worked harder to be happy, maybe one day, I would be, but it hasn’t happened.”
“Emma, relationships are work. We are good together. We fit. Once we announce my run and you start planning our wedding, you won’t even have time to think about any of this.”
“Our wedding?” I scoffed. “Do you hear yourself?” I shook my head at him. “I just told you that I was unhappy, that I have been for a long time, and you’re still talking about our wedding. You haven’t even proposed.”
“I’m going to propose, Emma. We were always going to get married. What are you even saying? This isn’t you. Where’s my practical, logical girlfriend who didn’t give a fuck about all this sappy shit?”
“It’s not that I didn’t care, Teddy. You never did it and I never asked you to, but everyone deserves to be happy.”
He rolled his eyes. “What is it going to take for you to stay? You want to go to couples counseling? I’ll go. You want me to propose? I’ll go buy a goddamn ring right now. But, Emma, this shit has to stop. Shit has to go back to normal. You can’t throw this at me right now. We’re so close, baby. So close to getting everything we’ve ever wanted.”
“No, Teddy.” I shook my head and rolled my suitcase past him. He needed a new line. This one was tired, and I wasn’t planning to stick around for the encore. “Again, you’re close to getting everything you’ve ever wanted, and I was along for the ride. Now I think it’s time for me to get off.”
“Is there someone else?” he asked.
I stared at him for a long moment. He was still in his suit from work, meaning he must have rushed from the office when he’d discovered I was here. He dropped onto the living room couch and scrubbed his hands over his scalp. Teddy no longer looked like one of Atlanta’s elite corporate attorneys, descended from Black Georgia royalty and intent on strong-arming me into resuming our relationship. He looked like a scared little boy, realizing that he was in danger of losing something he held dear.
“Yes,” I whispered as I pulled the door to the condo open and wheeled my suitcase through it. His eyes met mine, and the pain in his expression made my heart clench. I had no intention of hurting Teddy, but he deserved to know the truth. “There is someone else. It’s me.”
His lips pressed into a tight line as I pulled the door closed.